Computer Stupidities

BaconTheory

<div class="IPBDescription">THe Uber Nubs of Computers</div> I was perusing the web today and I came across <a href='http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/' target='_blank'>this page</a>. It is an immense archive of computer stupidities. Take a look sometime, I garuntee laughs.

Here is one of my favorites:
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Customer: "I can't print anything!"
Tech Support: "Yes, the print server's down for maintenance. Didn't you read that email I sent?"
Customer: "No, I never got it."
Tech Support: "But I got the return receipt from you. You must have seen it: 'Server down at 4:00pm for maintenance'."
Customer: "Oh, that one. I didn't understand what you meant."
Tech Support: (sigh) "The tech is here trying to fix the SCSI controller. The server was downed so he could work on it."
Customer: "What? I don't understand. Why can't I print? I'm not a computer person! I really need to get these reports out."
Tech Support: "When the message said, 'Please print your jobs before 4:00pm tomorrow,' what didn't you understand?"
Customer: "Huh? What? I really need to print these reports out. It's important!"
Tech Support: "You can't right now. The server is turned off. Like I told you yesterday."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Check out the site for more.

RPG_Jssmfulhud

Was posted long ago. But yeah, some of the stuff there is pretty funny. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

Bogglesteinsky

while it has been posted before, I think we can let you off as it was a very long time ago.

Still provides me with a method of passing the long lunch times...

Liku

Oldie, but a goodie.

Ashaman_Joe

I'm amazed people come in the Extra, Extra, Extra Stupendously Stupid variety.


(I read some of those and think, "Nah, people can't be that dumb....")

DiscoZombie

my favorite so far, because I like the person's logic:

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Tech Support: "Hello, tech support, can I help you?"
Customer: (slowly) "Oohh." (pause) "I think I did a bad thing."
Tech Support: "Ok, so tell me what's up."
Customer: "Well, my computer was running great. Everything was working fine, I had no problems whatsoever."
Tech Support: "Ok..."
Customer: "So I decided to open it up and have a look inside. I saw all these wires dangling all over the place. There were grey flat ones, and small red, black, and yellow ones, and it seemed like they weren't connected to anything. So I decided to plug them all in."
Tech Support: "Um, you mean you plugged them all in? What did you plug them into?"
Customer: "Well, whatever I could get them to connect to. I saw pins sticking off of some of the boards that didn't have anything on them, so I plugged all the loose wires in to make it run better."
Tech Support: "And then you..."
Customer: "And so I plugged them all in, and I hit the power button, and there was this loud bang and a flash and a puff of smoke. Now it doesn't work at all."
Tech Support: (suppressing all emotion and turning deep crimson) "Can you hold for a minute, please?"
Kaboom! "Explosive" doesn't adequately describe the laughter. I related the story to some co-workers between gasps for breath. Several of the techs and I had quite the laugh fest while he was on hold. After about five minutes of eye-popping, sweat-beading laughter, I wiped away the tears, took a sip of water, and came back on the line. I knew it'd be futile to even attempt to troubleshoot it.


Tech Support: "Ok, well why don't we just have you wrap it up in the original packing material and send it back to us, we'll take care of the whole thing."
And so another computer newbie learned that the extra power supply cables and unused IDE ribbon cables don't have to be plugged in for the computer to work just fine. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Liku

^HAHAHAHAHAHA^

I like this one.

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I was teaching a user about windows.

Me: "Move the cursor up to the menu line. . . . Move the cursor to the menu line. . . . Move the mouse up to move the cursor up to the menu line. . . ."

Still, nothing was happening on the screen. Finally I looked over her right shoulder to see what she was doing. She had raised the mouse literally up -- about a foot off the desk. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

TheWizard

That link made me cry. I laughed so hard <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->



Sad but true for most of them

Dubers

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->A customer called in at MicroSystems Warehouse and said he needed to speak to a tech immediately. I asked him what the problem was and that I might be able to help. He said, "Are the SIMM slots located in the back of the computer?" I asked him if he needed help installing the chips. He said, "No. I installed them and the computer just isn't recognizing them." I said to him, "Where did you install the chips?" He said, "I removed my sound card and put them in there."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

ahahaha woudnt that pwn the ram stick?

Stakhanov

Best categories are the Paranoïa , Hardware Abuse , and Tech Revenge imho... with more sadistic techs , idiotic noobs would try and RTFM hopefully.

CplDavis

My friend works at the IT dept at our college. He tells me that he gets sooo many complaints where something doesnt work and it ends up being b/c what ever aprt they have problems with was not plugged in.
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

That_Annoying_Kid

when troubleshooting be sure to work up from the physical layer!


I've read pretty much all of that site but it was a long time ago


kudo's for reposting it <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

X_Stickman

i did work experience at my school's IT department (well, the Tech part anyway). I was only there for two weeks... but jesus some people are stupid.

Business Teacher: "I can't log into the network!"
Me: "Did you put your password in?"
Business Teacher: "Oh... errr, right."

True Story. And i love these links, thanks for giving me this one <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->