The Power Within
Browser_ICE
Join Date: 2002-11-04 Member: 6944Members
Join Date: 2002-11-04 Member: 6944Members
<div class="IPBDescription">(a movie idea of mine)</div> Hi, while being bored at work, I started to write down an idea of a movie I had. The idea was very short but once I started writing it down (as you will see), it got a whole lot bigger. There is enough material in this to actualy do a 30 min movie. It would be a very good challenge for me as it involves alot of work. It may take a while before I start working on it as I have other projects (or I may never work on it at all).
The idea started out in my mind as something that looks like Dragon Balls meets Twilights zone. I haven't given any real thoughts on the title so "The power within" sort of came to me while starting this post.
I've never written any story. This was done in one shot without even geting back at any sentences at all. Also, English isn't my native language.
Tell me what you think.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The story starts with a view in space where a meteorite gets into view. The
meteorite has parts glowing. The view shifts behind it to show where it's
heading. You see the moon up ahead. The earth is just behind it.
It seams to be on a collision course with the moon but when in close range,
it suddenly changes its trajectory. It changes just enough to miss the moon
and is now heading straight to earth.
As it starts entering the earth's atmosphere, the camera is gradually moving
further behind to show the trail of fire behind it but still showing its
front view. It is daytime. You see a continent getting bigger and bigger. A
big city appears in view, too far away to distinguish the building but you
know it's a big city. The camera shifts from street level as 3 people are
walking on the sidewalk at lunch time. They are talking about miscellaneous
stuffs.
No one notices the incoming hit. The camera now shows the meteorite coming
at great speed and shows the impact being on a medium park. The impact
creates a wave of wind that breaks surrounding building's windows. Views
are shown with replays from different points to demonstrate the force of the
impact. Cars are thrown in the air.
Once the blast is over, a crater about 500 feet in diameter with 20 feet
deep now at the place of impact. People which were at a safe distance start
realizing what had just happened, including that group of 3 people seen
earlier. They approached the impact point and wonder why wasn't the impact
bigger as a normal hit like this one would have created far more damage at a
bigger range. As they get closer, sirens are heard in the distance and
getting louder. Our group of streetwalkers are at the edge of the crater.
Trees are laying on their side either totally carbonized or still burning.
Debris are laying everywhere.
Now about 30 spectators are at the impact point. No one dares climbing down
in the crater to see what's in there as it seams to still be in a state of
intense heat. Nevertheless, the meteorite is partly visible through the
smoke. Its size is appreciatively 10 feet and mostly formed of a composite
of glass looking rock with what looks like crystals glowing with a faint
blue.
Thirty minutes have passed and the surroundings have now been blocked by
police tapes. Disaster experts examine the surroundings. People are eager to
find out what this thing is. The police hadn't had the chance to dissipate
the crowd that strange sparkling sounds are heard coming from the crater.
The crowd is getting curious and so are our 3 walkers.
Light seams to increase at the crater bottom. Electrical sparkles appear
here and there, coming out of the meteorite. As the seconds pass, these
electrical discharges increase in intensity and size. People are now
starting to feel a mix of fear and curiosity. Amongst our 3 walkers, a woman
(named Woman-X) seams to get alarmed while one of the other 2 men is
getting curious (named Eager-1). The second man (Cautious-1) precautious of
nature, tries to calm the woman and at the same time discourage the first
man from trying to get past the police and get closer to this phenomena.
The discharges are now starting to elevate higher then the crater. The
population is now in panic. The police is trying to stop the crowd from
transforming into a stampede and at the same time, preventing curious
explorers. About 5 people have managed to break the barrier and are now
heading to the crater, 50 feet away. Woman-X is now anxious to leave but
doesn't want to leave Eager-1 behind has she is sure he will make a stupid
act. Cautious-1 tries to reason Eager-1.
Eager-1 seeing that the police has too much on his hands and that people
have started to enter the circle, decides to satisfy his curiosity. He
breaks loose of Cautious-1 who was holding him. Woman-X yells at Eager-1 to
come back. She begs Cautious-1 to go get her brother. Seeing that the police
aren't trying to stop Eager-1, Cautious-1 runs after Eager-1.
Before Eager-1 reaches 10 feet away from the beginning of the crater, the
electrical discharges are now reaching out the crater and attempting to
touch the surrounding area. Fear is now noticeable in the form of yelling
and panic noise. About 80% of the spectators have fled. Twelve people are
now to close to the crater to run away from those charges that now seams to
seek out humans. They try to run way, but one by one, they are caught by
those seeking charges.
Eager one seeing one of them heading his way, freezes by fear what this
thing is and not knowing what to do. Cautious-1 yelling at Eager-1 to move
away, is now 7 feet away from him. The charge catches Eager-1 which now has
his body twitching every muscles in reaction to this electrical charge.
Cautious-1 now standing next to him, not knowing what to do, tries a
desperate plan. He removes his shirt and rolls it up around his arm. He now
grabs his friend's hand hopeing to pull him free.
He now has a hold of his hand.He pulls vigoursly. The police around him are
trying similar tactics to break free the other unfortunate victims. Nothing
seams to break them free. Suddenly, the charge is now passing on from the
victims to the rescuers. Cautious-1 is now caught into this electrical
charge. No one now dares to rescue the victims. The other policemen are
watching desperately. Some call for backups, others call the army.
The number of victims is now 24. The electrical charges being of a pale blue
now change color. They are now of a darker blue. Right after having changed
color, the victims are now slowly lifted 10 feet above ground, hanging in
mid air.
One by one, the victims at each electrical branch are freed and drop to the
ground. Some of them are unconscious while other quick stand up and run
away. Cautious-1 and Eager-1 are still in this electrical web. Woman-X yells
and cries at the police to help them but realizes that they cannot do a
thing but way as the victims are slowly being freed away.
Now only 4 victims are left, caught into 2 electrical arms. Two of them are
freed and 5 seconds later, Eager-1is also freed, leaving Cautious-1 in mid
air and staring at him, feeling responsible for his demise. Eager walks 5
feet away but stops and turns to Cautious-1 to see what will happen. He
wants to help him but is afraid of being caught again.
The color of the electrical arm hold Cautious-1 now changes to a medium
green and at the same times increases in size. Slowly, Cautious-1 is getting
close to the ground. Eager-1 now fearing for his safety, walks away as the
charge has now a diameter of roughly the size of an office desk. People are
now running away fearing it will blow up. Most policemen are now slowly
walking back to their cars and strongly advising people to do the same.
The army has now arrived and have started to be briefed in by the
surrounding police. Cautious-1 is now at ground level. A globe of light is
now starting to emerge from Cautious-1. The globe is getting bigger. As it
gets bigger, the ground is being pushed away at the point of where the globe
is touching it. It is now bigger then Cautious-1 and completely surrounding
him. It keeps growing.
The policemen and the army seeing the amount of ground being moved conclude
that the globe is somewhat solid. Not knowing the nature of this thing, they
decide not to try anything in fear of injuring its prisoner.
Now only the policemen, the army and Woman-X are standing on the edge of the
park. The globe stopped growing and is now 10 feet in diameters. It then
starts to shrink at a faster rate and at the same time, the electrical arm
has disappeared. As the globe shrinks, it reveals the melted ground where it
once stood. The meteorite has cessed to glow.
The globe is now half the size of Cautious-1 and he can now be seen standing
on his feet with his arms extended and his head leaned backward. The ball
now disappears within Cautious-1's belly. He stands for 10 seconds with his
eyes closed but then falls down on his back.
As he is now laying down, unconscious, the police, army and ambulance crew
rushes out to him. Diagnoses are being done quickly as he is being swept
away from the crashing point, fearing for more to come. The army starts
isolating the crashing site. Helicopters can now be seen in the air. As the
ambulance folks are approaching their vehicle, Woman-X rushes toward them
with Eager-1. Police blocks their way but after convincing them that they
know him, they let them join the ambulance crew. While they are embarking
into the ambulance, Cautious-1 slowly opens his eye. He seams strangely calm
and relaxed but unable to speak.
Now the ambulance moves away with Woman-X and Eager-1 inside. Woman-X
nervously asking Cautious-1 on his current health state, she sees him trying
to formulate an answer. To everyone's surprise, he then answers "We are
fine" then closes his eyes and passes out. At the same time, a portable
radio in the front seat reports emergency news "A meteorite has crashed
landed in our city, considerable damage to surroundings, numerous victims.
Reports around the world reporting 12 other similar crashes. State of
emergency declared in several countries.". Everyone now listening to the
news looks at the radio and now slowly moves their view towards Cautious-1.
One of them replies "what the hell was that?"
The idea started out in my mind as something that looks like Dragon Balls meets Twilights zone. I haven't given any real thoughts on the title so "The power within" sort of came to me while starting this post.
I've never written any story. This was done in one shot without even geting back at any sentences at all. Also, English isn't my native language.
Tell me what you think.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The story starts with a view in space where a meteorite gets into view. The
meteorite has parts glowing. The view shifts behind it to show where it's
heading. You see the moon up ahead. The earth is just behind it.
It seams to be on a collision course with the moon but when in close range,
it suddenly changes its trajectory. It changes just enough to miss the moon
and is now heading straight to earth.
As it starts entering the earth's atmosphere, the camera is gradually moving
further behind to show the trail of fire behind it but still showing its
front view. It is daytime. You see a continent getting bigger and bigger. A
big city appears in view, too far away to distinguish the building but you
know it's a big city. The camera shifts from street level as 3 people are
walking on the sidewalk at lunch time. They are talking about miscellaneous
stuffs.
No one notices the incoming hit. The camera now shows the meteorite coming
at great speed and shows the impact being on a medium park. The impact
creates a wave of wind that breaks surrounding building's windows. Views
are shown with replays from different points to demonstrate the force of the
impact. Cars are thrown in the air.
Once the blast is over, a crater about 500 feet in diameter with 20 feet
deep now at the place of impact. People which were at a safe distance start
realizing what had just happened, including that group of 3 people seen
earlier. They approached the impact point and wonder why wasn't the impact
bigger as a normal hit like this one would have created far more damage at a
bigger range. As they get closer, sirens are heard in the distance and
getting louder. Our group of streetwalkers are at the edge of the crater.
Trees are laying on their side either totally carbonized or still burning.
Debris are laying everywhere.
Now about 30 spectators are at the impact point. No one dares climbing down
in the crater to see what's in there as it seams to still be in a state of
intense heat. Nevertheless, the meteorite is partly visible through the
smoke. Its size is appreciatively 10 feet and mostly formed of a composite
of glass looking rock with what looks like crystals glowing with a faint
blue.
Thirty minutes have passed and the surroundings have now been blocked by
police tapes. Disaster experts examine the surroundings. People are eager to
find out what this thing is. The police hadn't had the chance to dissipate
the crowd that strange sparkling sounds are heard coming from the crater.
The crowd is getting curious and so are our 3 walkers.
Light seams to increase at the crater bottom. Electrical sparkles appear
here and there, coming out of the meteorite. As the seconds pass, these
electrical discharges increase in intensity and size. People are now
starting to feel a mix of fear and curiosity. Amongst our 3 walkers, a woman
(named Woman-X) seams to get alarmed while one of the other 2 men is
getting curious (named Eager-1). The second man (Cautious-1) precautious of
nature, tries to calm the woman and at the same time discourage the first
man from trying to get past the police and get closer to this phenomena.
The discharges are now starting to elevate higher then the crater. The
population is now in panic. The police is trying to stop the crowd from
transforming into a stampede and at the same time, preventing curious
explorers. About 5 people have managed to break the barrier and are now
heading to the crater, 50 feet away. Woman-X is now anxious to leave but
doesn't want to leave Eager-1 behind has she is sure he will make a stupid
act. Cautious-1 tries to reason Eager-1.
Eager-1 seeing that the police has too much on his hands and that people
have started to enter the circle, decides to satisfy his curiosity. He
breaks loose of Cautious-1 who was holding him. Woman-X yells at Eager-1 to
come back. She begs Cautious-1 to go get her brother. Seeing that the police
aren't trying to stop Eager-1, Cautious-1 runs after Eager-1.
Before Eager-1 reaches 10 feet away from the beginning of the crater, the
electrical discharges are now reaching out the crater and attempting to
touch the surrounding area. Fear is now noticeable in the form of yelling
and panic noise. About 80% of the spectators have fled. Twelve people are
now to close to the crater to run away from those charges that now seams to
seek out humans. They try to run way, but one by one, they are caught by
those seeking charges.
Eager one seeing one of them heading his way, freezes by fear what this
thing is and not knowing what to do. Cautious-1 yelling at Eager-1 to move
away, is now 7 feet away from him. The charge catches Eager-1 which now has
his body twitching every muscles in reaction to this electrical charge.
Cautious-1 now standing next to him, not knowing what to do, tries a
desperate plan. He removes his shirt and rolls it up around his arm. He now
grabs his friend's hand hopeing to pull him free.
He now has a hold of his hand.He pulls vigoursly. The police around him are
trying similar tactics to break free the other unfortunate victims. Nothing
seams to break them free. Suddenly, the charge is now passing on from the
victims to the rescuers. Cautious-1 is now caught into this electrical
charge. No one now dares to rescue the victims. The other policemen are
watching desperately. Some call for backups, others call the army.
The number of victims is now 24. The electrical charges being of a pale blue
now change color. They are now of a darker blue. Right after having changed
color, the victims are now slowly lifted 10 feet above ground, hanging in
mid air.
One by one, the victims at each electrical branch are freed and drop to the
ground. Some of them are unconscious while other quick stand up and run
away. Cautious-1 and Eager-1 are still in this electrical web. Woman-X yells
and cries at the police to help them but realizes that they cannot do a
thing but way as the victims are slowly being freed away.
Now only 4 victims are left, caught into 2 electrical arms. Two of them are
freed and 5 seconds later, Eager-1is also freed, leaving Cautious-1 in mid
air and staring at him, feeling responsible for his demise. Eager walks 5
feet away but stops and turns to Cautious-1 to see what will happen. He
wants to help him but is afraid of being caught again.
The color of the electrical arm hold Cautious-1 now changes to a medium
green and at the same times increases in size. Slowly, Cautious-1 is getting
close to the ground. Eager-1 now fearing for his safety, walks away as the
charge has now a diameter of roughly the size of an office desk. People are
now running away fearing it will blow up. Most policemen are now slowly
walking back to their cars and strongly advising people to do the same.
The army has now arrived and have started to be briefed in by the
surrounding police. Cautious-1 is now at ground level. A globe of light is
now starting to emerge from Cautious-1. The globe is getting bigger. As it
gets bigger, the ground is being pushed away at the point of where the globe
is touching it. It is now bigger then Cautious-1 and completely surrounding
him. It keeps growing.
The policemen and the army seeing the amount of ground being moved conclude
that the globe is somewhat solid. Not knowing the nature of this thing, they
decide not to try anything in fear of injuring its prisoner.
Now only the policemen, the army and Woman-X are standing on the edge of the
park. The globe stopped growing and is now 10 feet in diameters. It then
starts to shrink at a faster rate and at the same time, the electrical arm
has disappeared. As the globe shrinks, it reveals the melted ground where it
once stood. The meteorite has cessed to glow.
The globe is now half the size of Cautious-1 and he can now be seen standing
on his feet with his arms extended and his head leaned backward. The ball
now disappears within Cautious-1's belly. He stands for 10 seconds with his
eyes closed but then falls down on his back.
As he is now laying down, unconscious, the police, army and ambulance crew
rushes out to him. Diagnoses are being done quickly as he is being swept
away from the crashing point, fearing for more to come. The army starts
isolating the crashing site. Helicopters can now be seen in the air. As the
ambulance folks are approaching their vehicle, Woman-X rushes toward them
with Eager-1. Police blocks their way but after convincing them that they
know him, they let them join the ambulance crew. While they are embarking
into the ambulance, Cautious-1 slowly opens his eye. He seams strangely calm
and relaxed but unable to speak.
Now the ambulance moves away with Woman-X and Eager-1 inside. Woman-X
nervously asking Cautious-1 on his current health state, she sees him trying
to formulate an answer. To everyone's surprise, he then answers "We are
fine" then closes his eyes and passes out. At the same time, a portable
radio in the front seat reports emergency news "A meteorite has crashed
landed in our city, considerable damage to surroundings, numerous victims.
Reports around the world reporting 12 other similar crashes. State of
emergency declared in several countries.". Everyone now listening to the
news looks at the radio and now slowly moves their view towards Cautious-1.
One of them replies "what the hell was that?"
Comments
though it would take some man power...
And... if they meteorites had just freed their victims and noone had died, I don't think they would declare a state of emergency... yet.
And... if they meteorites had just freed their victims and noone had died, I don't think they would declare a state of emergency... yet. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
The way I was thinking of it, the energy in Caution-1 is sharing his body and is a good energy being.
The other crash sitings are the bad energy guys. Those guys don't care about other life forms so they have completly taken over the hosts mind.
The good entity has an advantage over the bad ones. By sharing the mind and body, it gains the experience and knowledge of the host. The result is a merged personality creating a new person.
The state of emergency is declared because of the metorite crashing that caused structural damage and possibly casualties.
I still have the rest of the story in my mind. I just have to take the time to write it down.
And I have also another story that's been brewing in mind for a few months.
Tiberium is falling from teh sky!
As for real Criticism.. it seems to have too much blank space.. like you're trying too hard to keep the person on the edge of their seat.. that they just give up and close the book (or in movie-case go get a drink or something).. but I'm also very tired and lazy, so it could be just me.. It does seem plenty of movies do that though
[Edit: About the top.. Maybe the Friend only got PART of this 'Parasite' therefore it isn't so much good as it is weak.. and the Primal part of the human brain (cuz Primal makes it more interesting to me) basically took control of the 'parasite'.. <i>and then the friend goes and "mates" with some girl and they breed a super-human race that want world domination for their freak-ish selves... but that's the Sequel</i>]