Hiring A Hitman
Comprox
*chortle*Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
*chortle*Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
Ok, in most of my classes here we have this one kid. One of those kids that just doesn't shut up in class, and asks the dumbest questions on earth. I know he's a normal person, no mental illness of anything, so I don't feel bad about being annoyed <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Today most of my class decided we needed to hire a hitman to... silence him (literally). We don't think killing is needed, but we're open to payment plans if possible. He justs asks idiotic things like, after reading a 4 page short story, that says the word 'he' about 20 times, if the character is male or female.
First off, dumb question.
Second off, he blurts it out at the worst times.
Third, he likes to yell to get his point across.
So, anyone know some good hitmen I can hire? I figure this would be a good place to start. Any quotes on price ranges would help also.
(<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
Today most of my class decided we needed to hire a hitman to... silence him (literally). We don't think killing is needed, but we're open to payment plans if possible. He justs asks idiotic things like, after reading a 4 page short story, that says the word 'he' about 20 times, if the character is male or female.
First off, dumb question.
Second off, he blurts it out at the worst times.
Third, he likes to yell to get his point across.
So, anyone know some good hitmen I can hire? I figure this would be a good place to start. Any quotes on price ranges would help also.
(<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
Comments
Second, <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->First off, dumb question.
Second off, he blurts it out at the worst times.
Third, he likes to yell to get his point across.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ever heard of ADHD?
Third, I was picked on a lot a a kid.
Fourth, I have easy access to material and have the knowledge to kill people professionally but I am against using violence unless there is no other defensive option.
~edit~
Kudos to my karate training on the fourth point.
Remember, he's not dead until blood pools out from under his body.
Second, <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->First off, dumb question.
Second off, he blurts it out at the worst times.
Third, he likes to yell to get his point across.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ever heard of ADHD?
Third, I was picked on a lot a a kid.
Fourth, I have easy access to material and have the knowledge to kill people professionally but I am against using violence unless there is no other defensive option.
~edit~
Kudos to my karate training on the fourth point. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
A - I made sure he had no such conditions before making this post, don't want to be a jerk
B - Let's talk numbers... <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
nevermind, 19 I see.
And this guy is?
Still in school, so depending on the state he's in he might not be tried as an adult which is good news.
Edit: I'm kind of jumping the gun a bit <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
As far as numbers are concerned, how much do you want done Comprox? Lasting physical damage? Purely psycological? Public humiliation?
We are robots, in the rare case we appear as humans and die we just have a seat on the ground and shake heads.
Praise the german censorship, if i kill someone he won't die!
As far as numbers are concerned, how much do you want done Comprox? Lasting physical damage? Purely psycological? Public humiliation? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
There's always the popular "plot against in secret then forget you hate him" approach used by many a wimp.
want a resume?
want a resume? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ever tried it in real? <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I know your being serious. Thats whats so funny <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Today most of my class decided we needed to hire a hitman to... silence him (literally). We don't think killing is needed, but we're open to payment plans if possible. He justs asks idiotic things like, after reading a 4 page short story, that says the word 'he' about 20 times, if the character is male or female.
First off, dumb question.
Second off, he blurts it out at the worst times.
Third, he likes to yell to get his point across.
So, anyone know some good hitmen I can hire? I figure this would be a good place to start. Any quotes on price ranges would help also.
(<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->) <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I used to have talks to people for $50, beat them up for $200. I never killed and never would (unless I was drafted/became a spy somehow)
They'll get all angry and beat the crap out of him, I'm sure. (I saw it once on dateline, so I know it's not an exaggeration of any kind. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> )
Or you could just pimp slap him whenever he opens his mouth.
Annoying kid: Prof., why do books have words in them?
Comprox: Hey kid, what did the five fingers say to the face?
Annoying kid: What?
Comprox: *slap*
Or conversely, you could tell him to shut the hell up. It works well. I had the exact same problem in a Language Arts Class (this guy thought he was being the wittiest guy on earth by asking 3696248923 questions/sec). One day, when I was thinking about telling him to shut up, I actually said it. Everyone, the teacher included, laughed. Good times all round.
Or, I mean, you could ask to move to a different class. Maybe a higher level one? Maybe just a different period?
If he's still in highschool, thats probably not possible.
Perhaps, you can become his father.
relevant resume, what I can offer:
Passed:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Day One
Sniper marksmanship
PS1 marksmanship test (Cold Clean Barrel Shot & Group (6 shots) plus four 5-shot groups on a 1" aiming mark at 100 meters 80%
Day Two
Marksmanship under stress
PS2 shooting test (deliberate, snap, rapid follow up and moving targets) plus a Stress Test 80%
Day Three Sniper and observer skills at long range (including wind reading) PS3 test (out to 600 yards/meters) on a man-size target, scored for kill-zone hits 80%
Day Four Field craft (observation, judging distance, land navigation, field firing, cam & concealment and stalking) PS4 test (live-fire stalking exercise, including planning, navigating, establishing firing position undetected, judging distance to target, firing successfully) Pass or fail
Day Five Unsupported positions PS5 test (live-fire stalking exercise from unsupported positions; shooting test from unsupported positions) Stalking: pass or fail; Shooting: 90%
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
1st Degree Black Belt -- Kung Fu - Tai Chi, Masters Joan and Grand Master Brown
weekly paintball practice for about 8 hours
weapon mastery in spear and minor in sword.
Marine field training in nighttime stealth and CCS
access to 6 different kinds or assault rifle and multiple pistols
trained in stealth walking and
access to multiple explosives
access to non-lethal and lethal chemicals (have used to knock out people in the past)
my best asset is my resourcefulness and knowledge of science combined with tactical wit
I know this may be hard for you all to believe but I didn't give myself the title of an "elite" Xzianthian officer. x3 did that. Laugh all you want, I was being serious.
mmm, thats so wrong its delicious. Don't forget the vaccuum cleaner!
nevermind, 19 I see.
And this guy is? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
OMG WERE YOU IN MY COUNTER STRIKE GAME TODAY???
<span style='font-size:12pt;line-height:100%'>If you want just to freak him out, I highly suggest:
<a href='http://www.scifi.com/scaretactics/' target='_blank'>http://www.scifi.com/scaretactics/</a></span>
<!--QuoteBegin-about the show+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (about the show)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Scare Tactics is the scariest hidden-camera show on television.
The new season of Scare Tactics throws a whole new batch of unsuspecting victims into even bigger and freakier situations than ever before. We've taken it up a notch, and we're not apologizing!
We twist the realities of unwitting people who have been set up by their friends and family members for the scare of a lifetime. Every situation is shot as if it's a movie — except that the starring "victims" are real people with real emotions and absolutely no clue that they are about to be taken on heart-pounding thrill-rides that will leave them creeped out, gasping and screaming.
The best part? The entire experience is being captured on videotape!
Scare Tactics is hosted by Stephen Baldwin and produced by Hallock Healey Entertainment.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
And that your stupid friend get to be humiliated on national television. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-disclaimer agreement+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (disclaimer agreement)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->RELEASE AND INDEMNITY AGREEMENT
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<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I don't have broadband internet for the time being. So that would be a certain no.
(Is there an imitator?)
~edit~
Besides, I don't like CS. (yes I'm serious)
relevant resume, what I can offer:
Passed:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Day One
Sniper marksmanship
PS1 marksmanship test (Cold Clean Barrel Shot & Group (6 shots) plus four 5-shot groups on a 1" aiming mark at 100 meters 80%
Day Two
Marksmanship under stress
PS2 shooting test (deliberate, snap, rapid follow up and moving targets) plus a Stress Test 80%
Day Three Sniper and observer skills at long range (including wind reading) PS3 test (out to 600 yards/meters) on a man-size target, scored for kill-zone hits 80%
Day Four Field craft (observation, judging distance, land navigation, field firing, cam & concealment and stalking) PS4 test (live-fire stalking exercise, including planning, navigating, establishing firing position undetected, judging distance to target, firing successfully) Pass or fail
Day Five Unsupported positions PS5 test (live-fire stalking exercise from unsupported positions; shooting test from unsupported positions) Stalking: pass or fail; Shooting: 90%
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
1st Degree Black Belt -- Kung Fu - Tai Chi, Masters Joan and Grand Master Brown
weekly paintball practice for about 8 hours
weapon mastery in spear and minor in sword.
Marine field training in nighttime stealth and CCS
access to 6 different kinds or assault rifle and multiple pistols
trained in stealth walking and
access to multiple explosives
access to non-lethal and lethal chemicals (have used to knock out people in the past)
my best asset is my resourcefulness and knowledge of science combined with tactical wit
I know this may be hard for you all to believe but I didn't give myself the title of an "elite" Xzianthian officer. x3 did that. Laugh all you want, I was being serious. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
...you scare me.