Club Brawling: Round Surly
<div class="IPBDescription">Die. All of you... just cease BREATHING.</div> I'd say any night at work where I end up at a hospital, is a pretty f***ing s***ty night.
Too start off the festivities that is my s***hole sob story of a night, today was my day off.
Normally on my days off if work calls I won't answer the phone. Which is easy to do with Caller ID on my mobile. However today work rings on the house phone, and like an idiot I pick up...
"Adam, we need you to work tonight. There's noone else" etc, etc, etc. Basically work is on their hands and knees begging me to come in for this shift (Or so I thought at the time)
Now see, I had plans for tonight... I really did. I was going to go see The Manchurian Candidate followed by Collerteral with some friends and then we were going to go play snooker. It was going to be a good night out, but you see when someone tells me "There's noone else, we NEED you to do this." I take them on their word and come in to help out.
Well I arrive... annoyed already that I had to give up a night of fun. Walk over, bundy on, then walk over to the office to have a word with the steward on duty to see what I was doing... turned out I scored breaks (You go around and do everybodies breakes. When you don't do breaks, you pick up glasses... it's bottom of the barrel crap) so now I'm doubly p***ed that I got called in and now I have to do crap. So off I wander to do the first break where, after having a quick chat with some of the other bar staff, I learn that the guy I'm covering for called in sick because he didn't want to pick up glasses and decided to go out drinking.
So now triply p***ed off that I got called in, doing the crap work and got shafted by some lazy schmuck; my normally cool calm and collected customer interaction has gone right out the window and in it's place I find that every single time I had to talk to a customer tonight I found something about them that **** me the f*** off.
SO LET US BEGIN.
Crap Inf put up with tonight in no particular order:-
1.) Our club runs a courtesy bus service for all our members and guests. It delivers up to 5km in any direction from the club. You come up to the counter and right in the book your address of where you want to go, bus arrives, off you go. Happens every hour. Tonight some old moron looks at the book before the bus arrives, spots a certain address and starts giving me all this crap about "THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! THAT ADDRESS IS OUTSIDE THE 5KM'S! WHY DID YOU ALLOW HIM TO PUT HIS NAME DOWN? GET THE MANAGER" just this long constant drivel of s***. I. Did. Not. Need. To. F***ing. Hear. With my current state of mind.
Told him to take it up with the bus driver because it's not "my goddamn problem to fix, so stop whining about it." Copped an earful of that, thankfully the bus driver rocked up so he dealt with him.
2.) I really hate pretentious big-noting hot shots. You know the kind that come up to you and and give you an earful of "Don't you know who I am!?" attitude? Well doing yet another doorbreak, and in walks this guy in a suit. Fair enough, he then comes up and says "I'm so & so [Some forgetable name] and I'm running a seminar here tonight."
"Yeah you're up in the ballroom mate" then give him some directions and off he goes. 2min later he comes back down...
"What is this?! There's no jugs of water on the tables yet! It should have been setup! I'm expecting OVER 100 PEOPLE! This is totally unacceptable"
Having set up plenty of functions recently I know that if they request water, someone goes up and puts it out 15min before the function starts. Otherwise you have warm water, which noone likes... but here I am with my little attitude problem...
"Well let's see mate, you turn up an hour and a half early before your cute little seminar starts. And you're wondering why the iced water isn't out? Well I'll tell you, you see ice melts. It takes about... oh say 20min for a jug of iced water for it's ice to start melting. And about an hour later the jug is full of stale warm water So unless you'd rather have your guests drink that when they start arriving I suggest you go back upstairs, setup your little briefcase and leave the function setup to people with half a brain. Mmkay?" Not the smartest move to make.... but all I got was this horrible 'agasp' look on his face and off he wanders back to his room. An hour later I hear over our PA system the doorman making an announcement about the guys seminar... he didn't even have guests lined up.... he wanted patrons from our club to attend... on a Saturday night... 99% of our patrons are too busy giving us their life savings via the poker machines to worry about his crap.
Turns out he only ended up with 3 people total.
I may weep openly...
3.) Back on the door again a couple come in. "Members, visitors?"
"Visitors" is their reply.
"Ok just over here, just need to see some ID from the both of you. Drivers license or something with an address on it."
" Oh... he doesn't have one."
"Well I'm afraid you can't come in unless you have something."
"But I have ID, and it's the same address can't you let us in?"
"Well that would be fine, if it wasn't NSW law. So unless he has something with an address on it he can't gain entry to the club. Unless you'd like to pay a $5000 fine."
"But but but but.. we're just going for dinner!"
"Oh you can go for dinner, you just need to pay me $5000 before you do so. Then you're free to go, that is of course before the police arrive to arrest you. Because that's what will happen." Then I go back into a more sensible mode and tell them all their options...
Turns out he was actually a member of the club and had just left his card at home (You can get a day pass to gain entry to the club). So we could have saved 5 goddamn minutes of mine and their time if she'd just been honest with me and not tried to sneak into the club.
This is the kind of s*** that doorman have to put up with constantly.
*le sigh*
Another instance tonight involved some old arsehole telling me "to cut him some slack" and let his friends sign in without any form of ID. Then demanding to see the manager when I tell him "No way in goddamn hell." Manager comes out (He's a cool manager) he yells at the manager, I glare at the manager (Generally the manager comes over and overrides the doormans decision and signs the members in. BIG LEGAL NO-NO) but tonight there was no way I was letting the manager make me look like an idiot in front of the customers (Which usually happens, you just need to grin and bear it...)
Manager tells him no, they storm out in a huff and puff. Manager listens to my sob story of the night and understands why I didn't want an override.... which is nice.. because it makes me feel a little bit better about being at work...
And now it's time for the Pièce de Résistance of the evening, and the story of why I'm sitting he with stitches in my goddamn arm.
Out on the door, 2 young lebanese guys come in. The problem is that it's 2 young lebanese guys who think they're gods gifts to the world. So firstly...
"Hats off guys, dress code." I get a grumble and they comply. Then one starts lighting up a cigarette at the counter.
"Mate, no smoking near the counter." I point out the sign, right under his nose saying NO SMOKING WITHING 2 METERS OF THE COUNTER in nice bold red writing. I cop some lip about how it's his right to smoke. I give him some lip about how it's my right not to die at 30 of lung cancer..... he gets s***ty at me, but off he wanders...
Inside the club, I then have to do a bar break a little later on.
Up walks one of the 2 guys wearing a hat and smoking at the bar.
"Hat off and stop smoking mate. I've told you once already."
"What, you a racist or something?"
"Yeah that's right, that's why it says NO SMOKING on that sign just to the left of you and says NO HATS on the sign directly behind me. Now hat off, and cigarette away from the bar and I'll be happy to serve you."
He calls me some lovely names under his breath, takes the hat off and puts his cigarette out orders his drinks, calls me a racist bastard as he leaves and I proceed with the rest of the break.
Rest of the night goes semi-smoothy, and I finish up, bundy off and start making my way out the door when I notice the 2 guys sitting in the non-smoking lounge, smoking, with hats on...
So yeah... up I wander, with not the smartest intentions in mind, but just sick and tired of customers putting s*** on my all night. "Oi guys. Now this is the 3rd time, take your goddamn hats off and your smoking in a non-smoking area. PUT THEM OUT."
He calls me some names, I call him some ones that border on 'not getting me fired if he complains' and then off I wander to the carpark...
Followed by 2 young annoyed lebanese blokes.
Now a few things enter my mind as I slowly make my way out to the carpark (We're outside the club now)
1.) The lebanese in the area are known for being excessivly violent. Crap.
2.) Security is nowhere around. Double crap.
3.) I could probably take 1 of them.... but I'm going to get my arse handed to me by the other one and then I'm going to get double teamed something fierce. And I have no idea what the hell they're carrying...
4.) If I turn around, there's a high chance I'm going to get stabbed with something if I try and get back in the club... s*** s*** s***.
F*** it. I make a mad dash for my car, up 4 flights of stairs, security sees me running for my life (THANK CHRIST), they start running after me and my pursuers (Who are unaware of security) I make it to my car, open the door and pick up my club lock (It wasn't on tonight, another small miracle), I swing back around and start swinging my club at the first leb he dodges slightly, but he's already swinging as well with something....
A knife.
The son of a b**** <b>slices my right arm</b> and at the same time I get him full on in the side with a club-lock at full force knocking him flat on his arse. I drop the club-lock, put my hand over the top of my arm to stop the bleeding and start soccer kicking the crap out of guy who cut me's ribs (Where I got him with the club-lock) Yeah I had basically snapped at the point in time... the end of a s***ty f***ing night and now some little punk with an attitude just cut my goddamn arm... and it went on like that... except I was swearing at him a lot more....
Security had already crash talked the second leb before he could get me. And now they're dragging me off the other guy because he's in a fetal position clutching his ribs....
So I end up in hospital needing stiches, nothing serious at all. Just a minor flesh wound to my upper right arm.
I learn that I broke 5 of the guys ribs (I try to hide the smile as I'm told this)
I make a statement to the police (Self defense FTW)
I get released from the hospital after a few hours of observation... and here I am.
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:red'><b><u>BARTENDING BANZAI</u></b></span></span>
Too start off the festivities that is my s***hole sob story of a night, today was my day off.
Normally on my days off if work calls I won't answer the phone. Which is easy to do with Caller ID on my mobile. However today work rings on the house phone, and like an idiot I pick up...
"Adam, we need you to work tonight. There's noone else" etc, etc, etc. Basically work is on their hands and knees begging me to come in for this shift (Or so I thought at the time)
Now see, I had plans for tonight... I really did. I was going to go see The Manchurian Candidate followed by Collerteral with some friends and then we were going to go play snooker. It was going to be a good night out, but you see when someone tells me "There's noone else, we NEED you to do this." I take them on their word and come in to help out.
Well I arrive... annoyed already that I had to give up a night of fun. Walk over, bundy on, then walk over to the office to have a word with the steward on duty to see what I was doing... turned out I scored breaks (You go around and do everybodies breakes. When you don't do breaks, you pick up glasses... it's bottom of the barrel crap) so now I'm doubly p***ed that I got called in and now I have to do crap. So off I wander to do the first break where, after having a quick chat with some of the other bar staff, I learn that the guy I'm covering for called in sick because he didn't want to pick up glasses and decided to go out drinking.
So now triply p***ed off that I got called in, doing the crap work and got shafted by some lazy schmuck; my normally cool calm and collected customer interaction has gone right out the window and in it's place I find that every single time I had to talk to a customer tonight I found something about them that **** me the f*** off.
SO LET US BEGIN.
Crap Inf put up with tonight in no particular order:-
1.) Our club runs a courtesy bus service for all our members and guests. It delivers up to 5km in any direction from the club. You come up to the counter and right in the book your address of where you want to go, bus arrives, off you go. Happens every hour. Tonight some old moron looks at the book before the bus arrives, spots a certain address and starts giving me all this crap about "THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! THAT ADDRESS IS OUTSIDE THE 5KM'S! WHY DID YOU ALLOW HIM TO PUT HIS NAME DOWN? GET THE MANAGER" just this long constant drivel of s***. I. Did. Not. Need. To. F***ing. Hear. With my current state of mind.
Told him to take it up with the bus driver because it's not "my goddamn problem to fix, so stop whining about it." Copped an earful of that, thankfully the bus driver rocked up so he dealt with him.
2.) I really hate pretentious big-noting hot shots. You know the kind that come up to you and and give you an earful of "Don't you know who I am!?" attitude? Well doing yet another doorbreak, and in walks this guy in a suit. Fair enough, he then comes up and says "I'm so & so [Some forgetable name] and I'm running a seminar here tonight."
"Yeah you're up in the ballroom mate" then give him some directions and off he goes. 2min later he comes back down...
"What is this?! There's no jugs of water on the tables yet! It should have been setup! I'm expecting OVER 100 PEOPLE! This is totally unacceptable"
Having set up plenty of functions recently I know that if they request water, someone goes up and puts it out 15min before the function starts. Otherwise you have warm water, which noone likes... but here I am with my little attitude problem...
"Well let's see mate, you turn up an hour and a half early before your cute little seminar starts. And you're wondering why the iced water isn't out? Well I'll tell you, you see ice melts. It takes about... oh say 20min for a jug of iced water for it's ice to start melting. And about an hour later the jug is full of stale warm water So unless you'd rather have your guests drink that when they start arriving I suggest you go back upstairs, setup your little briefcase and leave the function setup to people with half a brain. Mmkay?" Not the smartest move to make.... but all I got was this horrible 'agasp' look on his face and off he wanders back to his room. An hour later I hear over our PA system the doorman making an announcement about the guys seminar... he didn't even have guests lined up.... he wanted patrons from our club to attend... on a Saturday night... 99% of our patrons are too busy giving us their life savings via the poker machines to worry about his crap.
Turns out he only ended up with 3 people total.
I may weep openly...
3.) Back on the door again a couple come in. "Members, visitors?"
"Visitors" is their reply.
"Ok just over here, just need to see some ID from the both of you. Drivers license or something with an address on it."
" Oh... he doesn't have one."
"Well I'm afraid you can't come in unless you have something."
"But I have ID, and it's the same address can't you let us in?"
"Well that would be fine, if it wasn't NSW law. So unless he has something with an address on it he can't gain entry to the club. Unless you'd like to pay a $5000 fine."
"But but but but.. we're just going for dinner!"
"Oh you can go for dinner, you just need to pay me $5000 before you do so. Then you're free to go, that is of course before the police arrive to arrest you. Because that's what will happen." Then I go back into a more sensible mode and tell them all their options...
Turns out he was actually a member of the club and had just left his card at home (You can get a day pass to gain entry to the club). So we could have saved 5 goddamn minutes of mine and their time if she'd just been honest with me and not tried to sneak into the club.
This is the kind of s*** that doorman have to put up with constantly.
*le sigh*
Another instance tonight involved some old arsehole telling me "to cut him some slack" and let his friends sign in without any form of ID. Then demanding to see the manager when I tell him "No way in goddamn hell." Manager comes out (He's a cool manager) he yells at the manager, I glare at the manager (Generally the manager comes over and overrides the doormans decision and signs the members in. BIG LEGAL NO-NO) but tonight there was no way I was letting the manager make me look like an idiot in front of the customers (Which usually happens, you just need to grin and bear it...)
Manager tells him no, they storm out in a huff and puff. Manager listens to my sob story of the night and understands why I didn't want an override.... which is nice.. because it makes me feel a little bit better about being at work...
And now it's time for the Pièce de Résistance of the evening, and the story of why I'm sitting he with stitches in my goddamn arm.
Out on the door, 2 young lebanese guys come in. The problem is that it's 2 young lebanese guys who think they're gods gifts to the world. So firstly...
"Hats off guys, dress code." I get a grumble and they comply. Then one starts lighting up a cigarette at the counter.
"Mate, no smoking near the counter." I point out the sign, right under his nose saying NO SMOKING WITHING 2 METERS OF THE COUNTER in nice bold red writing. I cop some lip about how it's his right to smoke. I give him some lip about how it's my right not to die at 30 of lung cancer..... he gets s***ty at me, but off he wanders...
Inside the club, I then have to do a bar break a little later on.
Up walks one of the 2 guys wearing a hat and smoking at the bar.
"Hat off and stop smoking mate. I've told you once already."
"What, you a racist or something?"
"Yeah that's right, that's why it says NO SMOKING on that sign just to the left of you and says NO HATS on the sign directly behind me. Now hat off, and cigarette away from the bar and I'll be happy to serve you."
He calls me some lovely names under his breath, takes the hat off and puts his cigarette out orders his drinks, calls me a racist bastard as he leaves and I proceed with the rest of the break.
Rest of the night goes semi-smoothy, and I finish up, bundy off and start making my way out the door when I notice the 2 guys sitting in the non-smoking lounge, smoking, with hats on...
So yeah... up I wander, with not the smartest intentions in mind, but just sick and tired of customers putting s*** on my all night. "Oi guys. Now this is the 3rd time, take your goddamn hats off and your smoking in a non-smoking area. PUT THEM OUT."
He calls me some names, I call him some ones that border on 'not getting me fired if he complains' and then off I wander to the carpark...
Followed by 2 young annoyed lebanese blokes.
Now a few things enter my mind as I slowly make my way out to the carpark (We're outside the club now)
1.) The lebanese in the area are known for being excessivly violent. Crap.
2.) Security is nowhere around. Double crap.
3.) I could probably take 1 of them.... but I'm going to get my arse handed to me by the other one and then I'm going to get double teamed something fierce. And I have no idea what the hell they're carrying...
4.) If I turn around, there's a high chance I'm going to get stabbed with something if I try and get back in the club... s*** s*** s***.
F*** it. I make a mad dash for my car, up 4 flights of stairs, security sees me running for my life (THANK CHRIST), they start running after me and my pursuers (Who are unaware of security) I make it to my car, open the door and pick up my club lock (It wasn't on tonight, another small miracle), I swing back around and start swinging my club at the first leb he dodges slightly, but he's already swinging as well with something....
A knife.
The son of a b**** <b>slices my right arm</b> and at the same time I get him full on in the side with a club-lock at full force knocking him flat on his arse. I drop the club-lock, put my hand over the top of my arm to stop the bleeding and start soccer kicking the crap out of guy who cut me's ribs (Where I got him with the club-lock) Yeah I had basically snapped at the point in time... the end of a s***ty f***ing night and now some little punk with an attitude just cut my goddamn arm... and it went on like that... except I was swearing at him a lot more....
Security had already crash talked the second leb before he could get me. And now they're dragging me off the other guy because he's in a fetal position clutching his ribs....
So I end up in hospital needing stiches, nothing serious at all. Just a minor flesh wound to my upper right arm.
I learn that I broke 5 of the guys ribs (I try to hide the smile as I'm told this)
I make a statement to the police (Self defense FTW)
I get released from the hospital after a few hours of observation... and here I am.
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:red'><b><u>BARTENDING BANZAI</u></b></span></span>
Comments
Glad to hear that it wasn't anything major, could've turned much worse, and congrats for breaking 5 of that ****'s ribs.
Burn in hell Redford...
EDIT: Smiley face for people who can't appreciate sarcasm over the internet. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Get well soon Infinitum.
*EDIT* LOL Redford.
Get well soon Infinitum.
*EDIT* LOL Redford. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I'm well now... it's nothing major or stops me from using my arm. Just a few stiches and a bit of pain....
But I get a few days off work. Can't wait for the court proceedings...
Glad you're safe now.. a pretty entertaining story also.
5 ribs broken, that's kick ****. I am SO getting a bartending job.
Sorry to hear you got cut up, but from the sound of it the asshat got payback a few times fold. And you're safe and all, so that's what is important.
Did you get to press charges against the asshats in addition?
Hope your arm gets better so you can use the mouse without teh pain.
Gj Inf.
And why do they have to insist anything done against coloured people is because they are coloured.
just because you are coloured, does not excuse you from being an arrogant ****
poor inf D:
doesn't suck to get some of infs work storys!
more! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
You should have gone around beating up all the idiots who weren't sharing.
It is required lest the rest of the world miss out on your tales.
--Scythe--
Glad to hear that it wasn't anything major, could've turned much worse, and congrats for breaking 5 of that ****'s ribs. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
what he said.
inf... your way to calm... i wouldnt have given them 3 warnings. lol
btw doorwork ftw...
(i only did a spell at a smallish club but still...)
are you allowed to tell us where you work?
/me runs
Gj Inf.
And why do they have to insist anything done against coloured people is because they are coloured.
just because you are coloured, does not excuse you from being an arrogant **** <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Its a sad reality. In Canada at least, you can beat the living hell out of a white guy, and yeah its assault. So much as ask a Native to obey some rule (like Inf was doing to the Lebanese guys), and its racism. I'm beginning to think that the most descriminated against people are white anglo-saxon males, followed closely by white anglo-saxon females. I love all this talk of "equality" in the workplace, which basically means that if a colored person applies for the same job as you, there's about a 75% chance they'll get it, no matter what their qualifications compared to you (assuming you're white). The only way management can get away with not hiring them is if they are quite obviously inferior. I wouldn't mind this if it actually meant equality, but it really doesn't... The one good thing that is completely and utterly unfair for white people is that they have lower admission standards for Natives into university. Its nice to see them applying and getting out of the rut that most live in, where they just end up as druggies or alcoholics, getting everything handed to them by the government... And the nice thing is that it actually works.
Anyways that was completely off topic. I wish I could say that I hope stuff like this never happens again Inf, but its so entertaining... perhaps something less hospitalizing (for you) next time <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Inf, i've said it once and i'll say it many times
in the future. You Da Man!™©
You need one of those "Blog" things to archive your stories.
And maybe a "PayPal Donate" button so you can buy a robotic arm!
LOL
Banzai Inf. Don't take **** from those who cry racist because you won't let them have their way. I bet they live off handouts-.-
you make my crap dayslook like caek.
I think we needs to get the man a crowbar.