Alone In The Dark Is An Awesome Movie!

Infinitum · January 2005

<div class="IPBDescription">Uwe Boll redeems himself!!!</div> Excuse me while I laugh my arse off.

<a href='http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/alone_in_the_dark/' target='_blank'>bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha</a>

Rellix · January 2005

I havent seen it yet cause its not out in the UK but it sounds like those reviews were generous.

Xeno · January 2005

omg................could this possibly be the worst movie ever............

Omegaman · January 2005

Amen, brotha.

Tequila · January 2005

Hah, for about 0.01 seconds I believed you. Then I continued to read the thread title, and 'Uwe Boll' appeared.

Then I knew, I was witnessing the most extreme sarcasm ever constructed by man.

Talesin · January 2005

He appears to be trying to give Ed Wood a run for his money. Hopefully, his next film will have the same budget Wood did. Twenty bucks (for Lugosi) and a loaf of bread.

Infinitum · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Talesin @ Jan 31 2005, 07:16 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> He appears to be trying to give Ed Wood a run for his money. Hopefully, his next film will have the same budget Wood did. Twenty bucks (for Lugosi) and a loaf of bread.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
It's Bloodrayne, which according to IMDB is in post-production

Why do people keep giving this retard money?

Rellix · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Infinitum @ Jan 30 2005, 08:19 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Talesin @ Jan 31 2005, 07:16 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> He appears to be trying to give Ed Wood a run for his money. Hopefully, his next film will have the same budget Wood did. Twenty bucks (for Lugosi) and a loaf of bread. </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
It's Bloodrayne, which according to IMDB is in post-production

Why do people keep giving this retard money?  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
They want to get fired.

Cold_NiTe · January 2005

My god, why can't there be some more good video game movies. Does every idiot out there have to make video games look stupid through bad movie interpretation.

groKKingmImI · January 2005

He'll be worth something when he starts producing porn movies.

Spooge · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>"As video game adaptations go, even Pong: The Movie would have a lot more personality." - Michael Rechtshaffen, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

OMG for Pong:The Movie! Pong will pwnz you!

Liku · January 2005

You scared me. I'm so tempted to see this crap, I want to see how bad it really is. But like hell I'm supporting it by buying a ticket.

Spacer · January 2005

Alone in The Dark: With like 10 other guys and some marines.

Mantrid · January 2005

I love the snippets from reviews...

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> "Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV."
-- Nicholas Schager, SLANT MAGAZINE</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

docchimpy · January 2005

Tara Reid as an anthropologist.

When asked WHAT an anthropologist is, she replies with " A person who studies, like, history and stuff, like the Mayans and fossils and stuff."

You can tell she REALLY got into that role.

TommyVercetti · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Liku @ Jan 30 2005, 04:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> You scared me. I'm so tempted to see this crap, I want to see how bad it really is. But like hell I'm supporting it by buying a ticket.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Duh! Sneak in using a cardboard box (preferably one that had been used to store popcorn), I've done it before.

Petco · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (TommyVercetti @ Jan 30 2005, 01:54 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Liku @ Jan 30 2005, 04:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> You scared me. I'm so tempted to see this crap, I want to see how bad it really is. But like hell I'm supporting it by buying a ticket. </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
Duh! Sneak in using a cardboard box (preferably one that had been used to store popcorn), I've done it before.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Just like solid snake

BadKarma · January 2005

Uwe Boll is a terrible person.

moultano · January 2005

Man, I must see that movie for free.

These are exactly the circumstances in which piracy is awesome.

Sky · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>"The three stars have seen better days, but I'd like to think they could still do something classier and more dignified than this. Like **** porn."</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> "Actually has an entire group of adults call out to a lost comrade, 'Marco!' What does he expect the audience to do when they hear that? I mean, come on."</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> "Thanks for the surgical enhancement, Tara Reid. As I always say, if saline made you a great actor then Sean Penn would have gills."</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> "This is jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, 'I-can't- believe-someone- made-this-crap' badness we're dealing with."</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
AHAHAHAHHA <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' />

These reviews are generating more publicity than this movie should ever have.

Ambassador · January 2005

Holy crap, this dude made house of the dead......wow, and I was gonna see it too.

They need to put on that on the preview. "from the makers of house of the dead" and save lots of people the trouble.

Rellix · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Ambassador @ Jan 30 2005, 11:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Holy crap, this dude made house of the dead......wow, and I was gonna see it too.

They need to put on that on the preview. "from the makers of house of the dead" and save lots of people the trouble.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
I wonder if people would leave half way through....

UltimaGecko · January 2005

"Chances are, you'll probably find yourself alone in the theater too."
-- Susan Granger, MODAMAG.COM

"There's a point in the movie where it's best to stop trying to make sense out of this unintelligible story... right after the opening credits."
-- Cherryl Dawson and Leigh Ann Palone, THEMOVIECHICKS.COM

And the best one:

"If someone recommends you see Alone in the Dark, assume that person hates you or at least dislikes you."
-- Mark Dujsik, MARK REVIEWS MOVIES

2 of those review snippets don't actually put the movie down, like

""Alone In The Dark" isn't going to set the world on fire, but it largely succeeds with what it has to work with. Just don't take it seriously and you'll have a fun time."
-- Michelle Alexandria, ECLIPSE MAGAZINE

So, pffft, someone needs to go put 'Eclipse magazine' out of business <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /> .

Shockeh · January 2005

Tara Reid's acting is actually quite sweet.*

* - And by sweet, I mean it's unsavory.

Much like a raging infero, she's pretty to look at, but you can't help but wonder why it happened in the first place.

- Shockwave

UKchaos · January 2005

Anyone got a link to the original craptastic trailer? The current one actually makes it look like an ok movie...

<a href='http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/aloneinthedark/' target='_blank'>http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/aloneinthedark/</a>

AllUrHiveRblong2us · January 2005

Thank you Uwe Boll, for giving home Misties everywhere the greatest ammo we could ask for. House Of The Dead was one of the easiest films to riff I've ever seen, with the possible exception of Hide And Seek (which is funny for entirely different reasons, like watching Roberrt Deniro's career sink further and further down into the depths of terribleness).

TychoCelchuuu · January 2005

I seem to recall Alone in the Dark having more haunted houses and less aliens and machineguns. But that might be just me. The graphics were bad back then so maybe the old guy sneaking around actually WAS a squad of marines and a flaming helicopter.

Sky · January 2005

Heh, yeah. I'd never heard of the game before I saw it on "Icons", but somehow they turned a supposedly horror game.....into a "OMG TEH MUNSTRS R GONA RAPE JOO!!" movie. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' />

Drfuzzy · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (BadKarma @ Jan 30 2005, 05:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Uwe Boll is a terrible person.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Bet 10 bucks he could improve the doom movie tenfold <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' />

Mantrid · January 2005

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Drfuzzy @ Jan 30 2005, 06:40 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (BadKarma @ Jan 30 2005, 05:39 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Uwe Boll is a terrible person. </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
Bet 10 bucks he could improve the doom movie tenfold <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' />  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Define "improve".

Windelkron · January 2005

who's doing the doom movie?

Alone In The Dark Is An Awesome Movie!

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