When You Get A Card With Money In It...

MavericMaveric Join Date: 2002-08-07 Member: 1101Members
<div class="IPBDescription">Underlying emotions?</div> Alright, we've all gotten them at one point or another (woe to the person who has not) and that is a card with some amount of money held within it. However, what do you say to the person who has given you the card?

Obviously, there are four choices:
1 Thank ~ for both the card and money
2 Thank ~ for the card
3 Thank ~ for the money
4 Say nothing

Before i proceed, i should mention why i am posting this; currently, i was at a family function at which the above happened. There was i, my brother, and two of my cousins. The function was held in a restaurant, so it was in a public place and we were all somewhat close to eachother. We all received cards, however, since we were all in good view of eachother we (or at least i) noticed how we all reacted to getting the cards. I (2), my brother (1), my cousin (3), and my other cousin (4)(the youngest) all reacted differently.

This lead me to make this post about how we can <i>unknowingly hurt</i> someone emotionally at the time, but only after the fact do we notice it. Say you give a hand-made card to a friend, with some sum of money in it. How would you feel if they responded as a (3)? or even a (4)? Certainly worse then if they had responded as a (2) or a (1), im sure.

Any ideas on WHY, though? I thanked her for the card because it was a nice Hallmark card. As well, i am generally considerate of other people's emotions... So does that make my cousins' responses unconsiderate of others, and instead considerate of only themselves?

It looks like a good topic for a morality and psyche post to discuss, so...
Discuss.

Comments

  • MrRadicalEdMrRadicalEd Turrent Master Join Date: 2004-08-13 Member: 30601Members
    Me.. I would count it as a gift, but this almost always falls on how the person perceives the gift.

    Some people would see the both the money and the hand crafted card, but only verbally acknowledge both items as the card or the money depending on how the individual regards each of the items. For one person the card would essentially be the gift, the money being a part of the card, while for another the money would be percieved as the gift and the card being a part of the gift.

    It's similar to brand name recognition. Some of us ask for a kleenex even though they mean tissue paper.
  • Pepe_MuffassaPepe_Muffassa Join Date: 2003-01-17 Member: 12401Members
    Thank em for the envelope.
  • CForresterCForrester P0rk(h0p Join Date: 2002-10-05 Member: 1439Members, Constellation
    I would personally just say "Thank you so much", rather than specifying anything. They can interpret it how they want to.
  • Lt_PatchLt_Patch Join Date: 2005-02-07 Member: 40286Members
    If I get a card with some money in, then it is normally with a gift, ie, on my birthday, or at Christmas. In which case, The giver gets thanked for the card, and the gift. No mention of the money, as I class it as part of the gift.

    If, however, it isn't accompanied by a gift, then the giver gets thanked for the card, then the money.
  • GrayDuckGrayDuck Join Date: 2003-05-08 Member: 16134Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-CForrester+Mar 28 2005, 06:07 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (CForrester @ Mar 28 2005, 06:07 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I would personally just say "Thank you so much", rather than specifying anything. They can interpret it how they want to. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Seconded.

    And if there are a lot of people around I don't flaunt the fact that the card contained money, and if it is a folded check I don't even bother opening it (in front of everyone).

    I don't know if there is a 'right' way to do it - But through my highschool and college graduation and then my wedding I was in a lot of these similar situations. And TBH I like NOT knowing the amount of money when I say thanks. I'd feel stupid if I knew it was some huge amount and I did the obligatory "THAAAAAAANK YOU!!!!!" But I'd feel worse if for some selfish reason I felt short changed by the card that had a petty $5 in it as opposed to all the $20+ cards and I responded with a short terse 'thanks'.

    So yes, just say thank you whether the card contains money or not - don't make a big scene.
  • CyndaneCyndane Join Date: 2003-11-15 Member: 22913Members
    Daes De'mar

    Don't we all love playing the "Great Game"

    Cookie for those that get the reference.
  • Nemesis_ZeroNemesis_Zero Old European Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 75Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    Lan, getting a reference from you consists of opening Wikipedia and searching for Wheel of Time <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    <span style='color:white'>***Moved.***</span>
  • Lt_PatchLt_Patch Join Date: 2005-02-07 Member: 40286Members
    Hmm, *scratches head*

    *opens up Google*

    *searches for "Daes De'mar"*

    Do I get a cookie for my 20 matches on Google?












    I still don't get it though...
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Lt Patch+Mar 30 2005, 02:06 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Lt Patch @ Mar 30 2005, 02:06 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Hmm, *scratches head*
    *opens up Google*
    *searches for "Daes De'mar"*
    Do I get a cookie for my 20 matches on Google?
    I still don't get it though... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Wheel of time my friend, wheel of time.
    =========
    As for a response I would just thank them in general. Any response of gratitude should be worth something. The importance should be on your relationship with that person, not their gifts. The true gift is having a friend or relative that matters to you in some way.

    Damn that sounds corny, but you know what I meant.
  • CyndaneCyndane Join Date: 2003-11-15 Member: 22913Members
    Yes, I make the references so easy. I really should try harder.. but that would require thinking at work, and we all know RS employees can't think.

    Anyway, it still applies very much so, after all it is all about interpeting what people are thinking and that is what WoT is saying.

    -----------------
    As to be more relevant, I would just say thank you for the gifts, that would allow them to interpet it as card and money, or just card, or just the money. Really doesn't allow for much wiggle room on their behalf and keeps you looking half-way decent in their eyes, and anyone else's whose may be watching/listening.
  • XenoXeno Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 2343Members
    yeah, i wouldn't get specific. like "thanks so much for the hallmark card and the $20 that was contained within it".

    just "thanks alot granny. i love you alot." or something to that degree.
  • AlienCowAlienCow Join Date: 2003-09-20 Member: 21040Members
    Dunno, just thank the annoying relative probably. In my heart it's the money I love, but you probably shouldn't say that to aforementioned relative.
  • CabooseCaboose title = name(self, handle) Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13597Members, Constellation
    Whenever I open a card with money inside it, I imidiatly remove the money from the card and place it under as if I was more interested in the card. I then read the card, pretending to more interested in it than the money. Depending on the contents of the card, I either laugh slightly and look up at the person who gave me the card and thank them as best I can, or look serious and get all teary eyed and thank them the best I can.

    I do appreciate the cards though, they have more meaning than the money, just not the functionality <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • DY357LXDY357LX Playing since day 1. Still can&#39;t Comm. England Join Date: 2002-10-27 Member: 1651Members, Constellation
    I'm also one of those people who gives a "general" thank-you.
    I don't go into the specifics of why i'm thanking them, I just strive
    to get the point across that i've grateful they got me anything at all.

    Select people also get a hug <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    I'm all 'bout the hugs.
  • HazeHaze O RLY? Join Date: 2003-07-07 Member: 18018Members, Constellation
    I hate giving out thankyous for recieving a gift, but its not because of the fact that I dont want to, <i>I truely do,</i> but its the fact that I dont really believe my thankyou is <i>enough,</i> it feels hallow to me no matter how sincere I try and make it. The fact that I get money in it makes it all the worse.

    I'm not much of a talking person when it comes to stuff like that or relationships. More of a "let the actions speak" kind of thing. Too shy I guess. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    Depends on lots and lots of factors.

    If someone I knew who wasn't exactly doing well money-wise gave me a card with money in it they'd get an elated huggle and lots of excited thanks, if someone with lots of money gave me the same amount and a generic card they just get 'thanks' as I go add it with the other notes :p

    It's the thought that counts though and more often than not the card shows the real think-work than the £££ inside :3
  • Soylent_greenSoylent_green Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11220Members, Reinforced - Shadow
    edited March 2005
    My family has the silly tradition of occasional joke gifts snuck in between the real ones. I once gave someone the equivalent of ~50 $ in ~300 coins(swedish 'kronor') into stacks of 100 and these 3 stacks put togheter into a 3 sided thing and packed very tightly with lots of paper so it wouldn't make noise. Including the absolutely untearable plastic giftwrap style paper on the outside with plenty of tape and a ribbon tied around it for extra annoyance. That thing must have weighed a bit more than a kg. It sure was hillarious to see the excitement at what this extremely dense gift could be, and then the total let down when a hundred or so of the coins just poured out on the floor.

    (I once recieved a big sack of mono sodium glutamate as a gift. I've also gotten ~half a cubic meter of those styrofoam packing chips in a huge, unmarked cardboard box with nothing else but packing chips in it ).
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    Back on Christmas 96, I was 16 and had been working on my own job for about 3 months. My older brother (he was in his late 30's at the time) gave me a card with $5 in it. But that wasn't the funny part. He then says to me "Have you ever have $5 before?" (as if I was working for finger nail clippings...).

    That is when you say "thanks for the card", and only then because I pity him because I knew I was probably making more an hour than he was (and I was minimum wage)
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
    /me pokes Lan

    I actualy fully get it, does that count!

    And this is after a 12 hr day yester day and another 8 hr today (gota love stupid managers at RS <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->)

    so fried.

    I realy need to get my hands on all of the books and reread them straight through, by that time the next book should be out <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->


    Oh, and I just say thanks when ever some one gives me anytihng (unless they somhow manage to tag sometyhing that is beyond cool and exactly what I want <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> then they get are realy ****en big thankyou! And generaly a bear hug)
  • SoulSkorpionSoulSkorpion Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 423Members
    Well...

    I <i>like</i> money. I've always thought it's far better to get $5 from ten people and buy something nice than get ten crappy $5 gifts.

    As for thanks... well, similar situation as with any present: a "thank you" when they hand it over and a "thank you" when you see what it is, certainly an enthusiastic "thank you" if there happens to be a <i>lot</i> of money in the card. If they've clearly gone to some effort in choosing the card (either because it's particularly wity, they made it, or both) I'll thank them for it particularly (even if I don't think it's that fantastic. It pays to be gracious).

    Basically, grattitude is proportional to effort. If someone gives me a blank white card with a bland message an a $2 coin taped to the inside I'm not going to do cartwheels...
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