When You Get A Card With Money In It...
<div class="IPBDescription">Underlying emotions?</div> Alright, we've all gotten them at one point or another (woe to the person who has not) and that is a card with some amount of money held within it. However, what do you say to the person who has given you the card?
Obviously, there are four choices:
1 Thank ~ for both the card and money
2 Thank ~ for the card
3 Thank ~ for the money
4 Say nothing
Before i proceed, i should mention why i am posting this; currently, i was at a family function at which the above happened. There was i, my brother, and two of my cousins. The function was held in a restaurant, so it was in a public place and we were all somewhat close to eachother. We all received cards, however, since we were all in good view of eachother we (or at least i) noticed how we all reacted to getting the cards. I (2), my brother (1), my cousin (3), and my other cousin (4)(the youngest) all reacted differently.
This lead me to make this post about how we can <i>unknowingly hurt</i> someone emotionally at the time, but only after the fact do we notice it. Say you give a hand-made card to a friend, with some sum of money in it. How would you feel if they responded as a (3)? or even a (4)? Certainly worse then if they had responded as a (2) or a (1), im sure.
Any ideas on WHY, though? I thanked her for the card because it was a nice Hallmark card. As well, i am generally considerate of other people's emotions... So does that make my cousins' responses unconsiderate of others, and instead considerate of only themselves?
It looks like a good topic for a morality and psyche post to discuss, so...
Discuss.
Obviously, there are four choices:
1 Thank ~ for both the card and money
2 Thank ~ for the card
3 Thank ~ for the money
4 Say nothing
Before i proceed, i should mention why i am posting this; currently, i was at a family function at which the above happened. There was i, my brother, and two of my cousins. The function was held in a restaurant, so it was in a public place and we were all somewhat close to eachother. We all received cards, however, since we were all in good view of eachother we (or at least i) noticed how we all reacted to getting the cards. I (2), my brother (1), my cousin (3), and my other cousin (4)(the youngest) all reacted differently.
This lead me to make this post about how we can <i>unknowingly hurt</i> someone emotionally at the time, but only after the fact do we notice it. Say you give a hand-made card to a friend, with some sum of money in it. How would you feel if they responded as a (3)? or even a (4)? Certainly worse then if they had responded as a (2) or a (1), im sure.
Any ideas on WHY, though? I thanked her for the card because it was a nice Hallmark card. As well, i am generally considerate of other people's emotions... So does that make my cousins' responses unconsiderate of others, and instead considerate of only themselves?
It looks like a good topic for a morality and psyche post to discuss, so...
Discuss.
Comments
Some people would see the both the money and the hand crafted card, but only verbally acknowledge both items as the card or the money depending on how the individual regards each of the items. For one person the card would essentially be the gift, the money being a part of the card, while for another the money would be percieved as the gift and the card being a part of the gift.
It's similar to brand name recognition. Some of us ask for a kleenex even though they mean tissue paper.
If, however, it isn't accompanied by a gift, then the giver gets thanked for the card, then the money.
Seconded.
And if there are a lot of people around I don't flaunt the fact that the card contained money, and if it is a folded check I don't even bother opening it (in front of everyone).
I don't know if there is a 'right' way to do it - But through my highschool and college graduation and then my wedding I was in a lot of these similar situations. And TBH I like NOT knowing the amount of money when I say thanks. I'd feel stupid if I knew it was some huge amount and I did the obligatory "THAAAAAAANK YOU!!!!!" But I'd feel worse if for some selfish reason I felt short changed by the card that had a petty $5 in it as opposed to all the $20+ cards and I responded with a short terse 'thanks'.
So yes, just say thank you whether the card contains money or not - don't make a big scene.
Don't we all love playing the "Great Game"
Cookie for those that get the reference.
<span style='color:white'>***Moved.***</span>
*opens up Google*
*searches for "Daes De'mar"*
Do I get a cookie for my 20 matches on Google?
I still don't get it though...
*opens up Google*
*searches for "Daes De'mar"*
Do I get a cookie for my 20 matches on Google?
I still don't get it though... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Wheel of time my friend, wheel of time.
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As for a response I would just thank them in general. Any response of gratitude should be worth something. The importance should be on your relationship with that person, not their gifts. The true gift is having a friend or relative that matters to you in some way.
Damn that sounds corny, but you know what I meant.
Anyway, it still applies very much so, after all it is all about interpeting what people are thinking and that is what WoT is saying.
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As to be more relevant, I would just say thank you for the gifts, that would allow them to interpet it as card and money, or just card, or just the money. Really doesn't allow for much wiggle room on their behalf and keeps you looking half-way decent in their eyes, and anyone else's whose may be watching/listening.
just "thanks alot granny. i love you alot." or something to that degree.
I do appreciate the cards though, they have more meaning than the money, just not the functionality <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I don't go into the specifics of why i'm thanking them, I just strive
to get the point across that i've grateful they got me anything at all.
Select people also get a hug <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I'm all 'bout the hugs.
I'm not much of a talking person when it comes to stuff like that or relationships. More of a "let the actions speak" kind of thing. Too shy I guess. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
If someone I knew who wasn't exactly doing well money-wise gave me a card with money in it they'd get an elated huggle and lots of excited thanks, if someone with lots of money gave me the same amount and a generic card they just get 'thanks' as I go add it with the other notes :p
It's the thought that counts though and more often than not the card shows the real think-work than the £££ inside :3
(I once recieved a big sack of mono sodium glutamate as a gift. I've also gotten ~half a cubic meter of those styrofoam packing chips in a huge, unmarked cardboard box with nothing else but packing chips in it ).
That is when you say "thanks for the card", and only then because I pity him because I knew I was probably making more an hour than he was (and I was minimum wage)
I actualy fully get it, does that count!
And this is after a 12 hr day yester day and another 8 hr today (gota love stupid managers at RS <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
so fried.
I realy need to get my hands on all of the books and reread them straight through, by that time the next book should be out <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Oh, and I just say thanks when ever some one gives me anytihng (unless they somhow manage to tag sometyhing that is beyond cool and exactly what I want <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> then they get are realy ****en big thankyou! And generaly a bear hug)
I <i>like</i> money. I've always thought it's far better to get $5 from ten people and buy something nice than get ten crappy $5 gifts.
As for thanks... well, similar situation as with any present: a "thank you" when they hand it over and a "thank you" when you see what it is, certainly an enthusiastic "thank you" if there happens to be a <i>lot</i> of money in the card. If they've clearly gone to some effort in choosing the card (either because it's particularly wity, they made it, or both) I'll thank them for it particularly (even if I don't think it's that fantastic. It pays to be gracious).
Basically, grattitude is proportional to effort. If someone gives me a blank white card with a bland message an a $2 coin taped to the inside I'm not going to do cartwheels...