My Turn For A Story From Work
<div class="IPBDescription">you gotta love northeners.</div> ok so, i was at work... and we got a new german lady started for us, now personally i dont mind germans too much <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> j/k...
but yeah anyway!
3 girls come in, blonde, aged about 17...
and this is the dialogue
*coke on counter*
me: hey, just that?
them: hehe are you an american? (now for anyone who knows me, i am technically american, but grew up etc in this country.. and come from near london.. and have a southern accent.)
me: no, no im not.
german lady : what did they think?
them : OH youre american though?
german : no, im from germany.
them : i thought germanies were illegal.
me: *look of horror*
them : no i mean, i thought you people were banned
me: *choking with laughter*
them : are you an incester? (which i later found out they meant immigrant.)
german lady : ok thats 99p then please.
i genuinely nearly wet myself...... until you have heard a **** scouse **** say ' i thought germanies were illegal' you havent lived <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
just thought i would share... to make this into an actual thread.. post about stupidity in your workplace!
but yeah anyway!
3 girls come in, blonde, aged about 17...
and this is the dialogue
*coke on counter*
me: hey, just that?
them: hehe are you an american? (now for anyone who knows me, i am technically american, but grew up etc in this country.. and come from near london.. and have a southern accent.)
me: no, no im not.
german lady : what did they think?
them : OH youre american though?
german : no, im from germany.
them : i thought germanies were illegal.
me: *look of horror*
them : no i mean, i thought you people were banned
me: *choking with laughter*
them : are you an incester? (which i later found out they meant immigrant.)
german lady : ok thats 99p then please.
i genuinely nearly wet myself...... until you have heard a **** scouse **** say ' i thought germanies were illegal' you havent lived <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
just thought i would share... to make this into an actual thread.. post about stupidity in your workplace!
Comments
Ta.
TBH, i'd write this off to the fact they were blonde rather then from Liverpool <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
TBH, i'd write this off to the fact they were blonde rather then from Liverpool <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
try
(everything in german though <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> )
In class:
Teacher to me: Tell us why world maps have to change.
Me: The maps need to be *refreshed* because political parties change.
Blonde girl in class starts giggling: What does refresh mean *giggle*
<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I actually said "aktuell" which means up to date.
*Pre-Warning* People not liking stories of a suggestive nature should look away now */warning*
Lesbian porn. Has to be one of the most prevelent things in any sweep of the PC (Customer say "I know one of my family has been looking at dirty things, can you get rid of all of it". THOSE kinds of sweeps)
You'll need a bit of background here.
Luke has a tendancy to overblow things, making them seem more serious.
Jim just says whatever comes to mind first.
Customer: Did you remove all those dirty things from my PC. I don't approve of that kind of thing.
Luke: Yep. Do you want to know what kind of things we have removed?
Customer: Ok
Luke: Kazaa, viruses, spyware, and a load of lesbian porn.
Customer: Lesbian porn?!
Luke: Does your son use the PC at all? (Customer brought PC in with a son and 2 daughters)
Customer: My son doesn't touch the PC. He doesn't know the password.
Jim (from round the corner in the Engineering bay, rather loudly): Oh well, there you go...
The entire 15 seconds of talking managed to stun all of us into silence, and caused the woman's entourage to start giggling. And had me try to suppress fits of laugher from my desk.
I know, you had to be there to see the humour in it, but hey, this is for the stupid things said at work.
Another one.
Customer brings in PC (Shat-ard Bell, old **** thinger). Plonks it down on the counter. And says...
Customer: My PC won't write CD's...
Luke looks at PC for a few seconds. I glance at it and walk off laughing...
Luke: It hasn't got a bloody CD writer! It's only a CDROM!
Luckily, we knew the guy who brought the system in. If not, someone might have got bollocked for that one...
Quoted for incredulity.
Quoted for incredulity. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Notice he just said "Coke on counter", he didn't say can. It may have been a bottle or something.
but yeah anyway!
3 girls come in, blonde, aged about 17...
and this is the dialogue
*coke on counter*
me: hey, just that?
them: hehe are you an american? (now for anyone who knows me, i am technically american, but grew up etc in this country.. and come from near london.. and have a southern accent.)
me: no, no im not.
german lady : what did they think?
them : OH youre american though?
german : no, im from germany.
them : i thought germanies were illegal.
me: *look of horror*
them : no i mean, i thought you people were banned
me: *choking with laughter*
them : are you an incester? (which i later found out they meant immigrant.)
german lady : ok thats 99p then please.
i genuinely nearly wet myself...... until you have heard a **** scouse **** say ' i thought germanies were illegal' you havent lived <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
just thought i would share... to make this into an actual thread.. post about stupidity in your workplace! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Did they by chance have unnaturaly red eyes?
Quoted for incredulity. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Notice he just said "Coke on counter", he didn't say can. It may have been a bottle or something. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Good point.
not really. some kids are just plain stupid.
not really. some kids are just plain stupid. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
no they just choose not to learn so they can be kool. Then when they stop being a chav, in later life, and want a decent job, they cant get one cause they have no education.
I'd attribute it more to the parents, but yes, the education system plays a part. :/ Kids ought to be learning on their own, outside of school, though. (And I'm not talking about homework. I believe that homework should be eliminated.)
I haven't got any stupid work stories because... Well... I haven't got a job yet. So I'll tell you guys a brief, unfunny (It's more "*smacks forehead* Oh god") pet owner-related story.
First, some backstory. My grandparents live in a nursing home. They have a boxer that can't stay there all the time, so he stays with their son and I bring the dog up to visit them every day. (It's about a mile there and back, so I walk. I need the exercise, and so does he).
I'm walking along the street and as I pass by the house with the dog, some lady calls out from her doorway.
Lady: Excuse me!
Me: Hmm?
L: Is your dog fixed?
M: Yep.
L: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking for a boxer to breed mine with!
You don't deserve to have a dog if you're asking random people on the street if they want to breed their dog with your dog. Their dog could have any manner of illness or genetic defect that they would pass on to the puppies. Especially so when you clearly live in an area where there is a severe stray animal problem, because why isn't your damn dog spayed?
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> no they just choose not to learn so they can be kool. Then when they stop being a chav, in later life, and want a decent job, they cant get one cause they have no education.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You can always go back to school. It's never too late to learn. Ever.
If it's kool to avoid school, that's a failure of the educational system, as well.
I have probably been beaten here already, but not all northerners are scousers. I come from the north west and i have to say, that is definitely not a decent representation of the people up here. We have our fair share of idiots, but from experience i can say that the south does as well.
Also, 99p for a can/bottle of coke? Bloody hell mate, that is steep. All the local shops around here sell cans for 55p and bottles for 80p.
If it's kool to avoid school, that's a failure of the educational system, as well. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Bah, I wouldn't say its the educational systems fault that kids don't have the common sense to realize they need an education to do something worthwhile with their lives.
Most kids don't like school, its just that simple. The issue is that parents these days aren't buckling down and just shoving the little buggers off to school whether they like it or not.
or, even if they are shoving the kids off to school, they are letting them get away with tons of other things, allowing them to grow into the habit of just getting away with things, eventually ending with them being able to get away with not being at school.
Its like saying that its the fault of a game rating system (the ESRB and such) that younger kids are getting their hands on games like GTA. Even though their are signs, warnings and fines in place to stop these kids from getting them, the parents still come in and let them have the games.
Not really. The education system system is far from great, but it is still fairly good. Like ANeM said, it is not really the schools who are at fault, but the culture in which the children grow up. If a parent <i>forced</i> the child to go to school, and there was a system put in place to stop people from simply skiving then they would go to school and at least be placed in an atmosphere where a few things might be learnt. The schools could still do a hell of a lot to fix this problem though.
Schools need to concentrate less on academic studies and more on the practical side of schooling, I think. Advanced maths may help me get an A level and eventually a degree, but I’ll be arsed if it will help me in the real world. I would much rather take basic maths and make sure that I know it, then spend more time studying social skills (how to use a bank, career advice, writing signatures, etc) and a trade or two (apprenticeships are really rare in Britain. Adding a proper craft system to schools would go a long way to eliminate this problem.)
Instead of coming out of high school with loads of GCSE's (half of them in computing, because it is **** easy. The other half in advanced maths and science that I will rarely, if ever, use in the real world), I would much rather come out of school with a basic understanding of maths, English and science, along with a decent understanding of a trade or two. If the school had a decent selection of trades (woodwork, metalwork, painting, plastering, etc), then many of the less academic students would have an incentive to go, as they would come out of school at 16 (18 if they chose to get some A levels) and get a job in a small plastering firm or something. The academic kids could instead focus on science, English and maths and then take A levels in them, then go to Uni.
The government is actually trying this out in a few schools in my area, but it is still too early to see if it will really make a difference.
I have probably been beaten here already, but not all northerners are scousers. I come from the north west and i have to say, that is definitely not a decent representation of the people up here. We have our fair share of idiots, but from experience i can say that the south does as well.
Also, 99p for a can/bottle of coke? Bloody hell mate, that is steep. All the local shops around here sell cans for 55p and bottles for 80p. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
i agree, my gf who was from downsouth moved up here when she was 9 she has managed to attain grades etc...
but yeah, learning isnt cool... i get that... but jesus christ... ive never seen anything so stupid, it wasnt a joke in the slightest they were dead serious...
i mean... seriously.. and i know that down south has idiots too, but i moved up here 6 months ago now, and i have never met so many narrow minded ignorant fools ever. fact.
EDIT: Highschool and middle school that is.
If it's kool to avoid school, that's a failure of the educational system, as well. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I'd say it's more of a failure of the social system.
And DrSureDeath: I can't speak for the entire US, but in my school in central Jersey, we don't even stand up for the pledge anymore. The call generally comes over the television right before the student-run morning announcements, but most teachers don't even bother to turn the tv on in time.
Oh yeah, and sneaking out of school, especially during lunchtime, is quite easy as long as you're not gone too long. All depends on whether or not your teacher cares if you're late, cause the doors are wide-open.
<!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
As far as i know, there is no school in the UK that forces its students to sing the national anthem, thank god.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
As far as i know, there is no school in the UK that forces its students to sing the national anthem, thank god. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Most schools (starting around junior HS/Middle school) don't have you sing anymore.
And technicaly you are generaly not alowed out of the grounds, but most schools don't care.
And will Will not go off on customers...
not atm, as I am at work <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->