How To Participate In An Internet Flame War
Caboose
title = name(self, handle) Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13597Members, Constellation
in Off-Topic
I found <a href='http://www.velvet.com/barb/humor/flaming.html' target='_blank'>this</a> today, thought I'd share. It made me giggle.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 1. Tell your opponent that the argument is over, because it's degenerated into pointlessness.... doing so at the end of your post giving you the lengthy last word in it.
2. Predict the imminent death of the Internet. ("Film at 11!")
3. Call your opponent a Nazi.
4. Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.
5. Post some horribly vicious and insulting note about your opponent.... several minutes later, post a profuse apology, claiming that you'd intended to send the message privately to a friend.
6. a: Refer frequently to pretend hordes of lurking supporters, who have mailed you privately to express their agreement and gratitude.... but aren't willing to come out publicly and say anything. (See also here.)
b: Accuse your opponent of trying to intimidate your hordes of supporters.... add indignantly that you "will not be silenced".
7. Attempt to impress/silence your opponent by discussing your professional credentials and experience related to the topic at hand, which clearly make your opinions better and more correct than anyone else's.... be vague about details if your credentials and experience aren't actually all that impressive. (Also known as "dueling resumes".)
8. Accuse your opponent of being overly sensitive, or suggest in a patronizing tone that they "must be having a bad day".
9. Claim that an insult or other rudeness was "just a joke", and suggest that your opponent has no sense of humor.
10. Claim that *everything* is a matter of opinion, that there are no such things as facts or truth.
11. a: Claim that facts are absolute.... that there's never any such thing as dispute or disagreement about a fact.
b: Assume that everything you learned in college, no matter how many years ago nor how much a field has advanced in the meantime, is completely unchanged.
12. Redefine words to mean whatever you want them to mean. (Also known as the "Humpty Dumpty" defense.)
13. Refuse to look something up, if challenged to do so.... no need, surely your memory is perfect.
14. Ask your opponent to supply lengthy and detailed references for their every statement.
15. Claim that if something works for you/your spouse/your kid/your parent/your best friend/your boss/your hairdresser's first cousin's dog's veterinarian, it will always work for everyone.... and if it doesn't, it's because they're not doing it right. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> 1. Tell your opponent that the argument is over, because it's degenerated into pointlessness.... doing so at the end of your post giving you the lengthy last word in it.
2. Predict the imminent death of the Internet. ("Film at 11!")
3. Call your opponent a Nazi.
4. Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.
5. Post some horribly vicious and insulting note about your opponent.... several minutes later, post a profuse apology, claiming that you'd intended to send the message privately to a friend.
6. a: Refer frequently to pretend hordes of lurking supporters, who have mailed you privately to express their agreement and gratitude.... but aren't willing to come out publicly and say anything. (See also here.)
b: Accuse your opponent of trying to intimidate your hordes of supporters.... add indignantly that you "will not be silenced".
7. Attempt to impress/silence your opponent by discussing your professional credentials and experience related to the topic at hand, which clearly make your opinions better and more correct than anyone else's.... be vague about details if your credentials and experience aren't actually all that impressive. (Also known as "dueling resumes".)
8. Accuse your opponent of being overly sensitive, or suggest in a patronizing tone that they "must be having a bad day".
9. Claim that an insult or other rudeness was "just a joke", and suggest that your opponent has no sense of humor.
10. Claim that *everything* is a matter of opinion, that there are no such things as facts or truth.
11. a: Claim that facts are absolute.... that there's never any such thing as dispute or disagreement about a fact.
b: Assume that everything you learned in college, no matter how many years ago nor how much a field has advanced in the meantime, is completely unchanged.
12. Redefine words to mean whatever you want them to mean. (Also known as the "Humpty Dumpty" defense.)
13. Refuse to look something up, if challenged to do so.... no need, surely your memory is perfect.
14. Ask your opponent to supply lengthy and detailed references for their every statement.
15. Claim that if something works for you/your spouse/your kid/your parent/your best friend/your boss/your hairdresser's first cousin's dog's veterinarian, it will always work for everyone.... and if it doesn't, it's because they're not doing it right. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
EDIT:
This:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I found this today, thought I'd share.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Should be this:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I found this today, so thought I'd share.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Your mutliating the English language.
EDIT:
This:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I found this today, thought I'd share.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Should be this:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I found this today, so thought I'd share.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Your mutliating the English language. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Well, that's your opinion. Good thing there's no such thing as actual truth.
EDIT:
This:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I found this today, thought I'd share.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Should be this:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I found this today, so thought I'd share.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Your mutliating the English language. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Well, that's your opinion. Good thing there's no such thing as actual truth. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I want proof, send me links.
I have plenty of friends on this forum who think sleeping with goats is fine.
Oh, the irony.
theclam is such a flipping little ****, always bitching and moaning about all the smallest things "LOL U SPELLED THIS WRONG" why don't you look at your own posts, ***.
I have plenty of friends on this forum who think sleeping with goats is fine. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah, you're just being prejudiced against those who sleep with goats you capitalist communazi fascist.
That was supposed to be a PM to Cold-NiTe, ****.
That was supposed to be a PM to Cold-NiTe, ****. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
F--. clearly.
Oh, the irony.
theclam is such a flipping little ****, always bitching and moaning about all the smallest things "LOL U SPELLED THIS WRONG" why don't you look at your own posts, ***.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thanks to idiots like you, the internet will degenerate into random garbage populated by simian dolt 13 year olds without a little ability called <span style='color:red'><span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>SELF CONTROL.</span></span>
I don't even get why you bash people who did nothing. You know it just ticks me off.
This is pointless though, because I can in no way influence the way you post. Your opinions are your own. Good luck with them and god be with you. You warped, disturbed little man.
*EDIT*
Yeah I'm <b>waiting...</b>
Oh, the irony.
theclam is such a flipping little ****, always bitching and moaning about all the smallest things "LOL U SPELLED THIS WRONG" why don't you look at your own posts, ***.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thanks to idiots like you, the internet will degenerate into random garbage populated by simian dolt 13 year olds without a little ability called <span style='color:red'><span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>SELF CONTROL.</span></span>
I don't even get why you bash people who did nothing. You know it just ticks me off.
This is pointless though, because I can in no way influence the way you post. Your opinions are your own. Good luck with them and god be with you. You warped, disturbed little man. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
flipping Nazi ***, shut up.
Oh, the irony.
theclam is such a flipping little ****, always bitching and moaning about all the smallest things "LOL U SPELLED THIS WRONG" why don't you look at your own posts, ***.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thanks to idiots like you, the internet will degenerate into random garbage populated by simian dolt 13 year olds without a little ability called <span style='color:red'><span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>SELF CONTROL.</span></span>
I don't even get why you bash people who did nothing. You know it just ticks me off.
This is pointless though, because I can in no way influence the way you post. Your opinions are your own. Good luck with them and god be with you. You warped, disturbed little man. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
flipping Nazi ***, shut up. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Capitalize the first letter of your sentence, fob.
I guess your just having a bad day though, you know, since life is so hard having to go through middle school. Makes you want to cut yourself, huh? Getting that Emo! tingle, eh? Feeling like you need to call Coleman and "talk"?
I have many supporters who think you are a jerk, you nazi, I will not be silenced!
Thanks for stealing my post, you infantile little rat-child.
<!--QuoteBegin-Caboose+Apr 19 2005, 11:52 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Caboose @ Apr 19 2005, 11:52 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->why should he? Can you show me the rule that says that the first letters of a sentence have to be <b>capitolized?</b>
I have many supporters who think you are a jerk, you nazi, I will not be silenced!<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
...
<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=capitolized' target='_blank'>Hmm...</a>
This is all pointless though. I believe we are at an ends to this and being the bigger man I will bow out.
He went to sleep 6 mins. ago, but if you want I'll keep responding. I don't think this thread will last though. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
What do you know about animal-rights? I worked with an animal shelter for 5 years and saved hundreds of animals from death. It's cruel monsters like you who would rather see them all shot. I also volunteer on a regular basis and once I even helped a woman give birth to a child. My father flew planes in the war too. Unlike yours who was probably a drunk on the streets.
There, #14 done.
I'm sure everyone here agrees with me.
I'm sure everyone here agrees with me. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
If by agrees you mean disagrees, then yes.
...
Wow. Anyone else getting that pleasant "Discussion Forums" vibe?
I'm sure everyone here agrees with me. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
If by agrees you mean disagrees, then yes.
<!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
/me Watches the joke sail over Cold's head <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
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