Funny Stories!

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• Two_Eyed_Human Join Date: 2002-11-21 Member: 9589Members

  November 2002 edited November 2002

  We were playing in eclispe and our base was nearly destroyed. Me and this other guy were hiding inside a vent in Keyhole. The comm built a comm chair and spawn portal there. Our base was wiped out and our whole team was in that vent. All of us rushed their maintenance hive and took it out. Then the Onos came and we all died. We all spawned inside that vent again. After that a lerk found us and spore clouded us to death.

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• Kung_Fool Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4092Members

  November 2002 edited November 2002

  Please note: This story was made by me when drinking too much beer, and it is totally untrue. Nothing of it really happened, but I was just too drunk to stop writing, so sorry about that. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  
  I just had a game today on ns_nothing where my alien team was completely overrun by the marines who had 4 players. We only had 2 hives left, our 3rd one fell viction to a couple of siege turrets and we knew that it would be over soon, so we tried to make a desperate last stand. Thankfully, we had 3 sensory chambers, so when I went for the upgrades as a skulk I chose cloaking and regeneration, mainly to annoy the marines for some more minutes before they would destroy me.
  
  We could allready hear them coming. I planned to make a rush to the marine base, sending a silent prayer to the lord. I rushed through the hallways, using the vents whenever I could and I never stopped because of my desperation. I did get shot once to about 4 health by a HA marine, but thankfully, my regen made up for it pretty fast. Then I came to the room with the bridge and the resource nozzle. I was at full health and armour so I simply rushed into their base, ignoring the turrets firing at me. Rushing through it I quickly scanned the area... a hella lot of turrets, but thankfully there were none one at the command chair. I just got behind the chair to chomp it down when I heard the hivemind saying: "HIVE IS UNDER ATTACK!". The remaining 2 hive icons were blinking, and a couple of icons indicated: *some marine* killed *some alien*.
  
  I cursed my own idiocy, but I realized that another skulk wouldn?t have made a difference against 4 HA marines, wielding HMGs. So I did what seemed to be best: I evolved into a fade right inside the marine base. While I evolved I looked behind me. There was a marine infantry portal. Just after I evolved I ducked behind the CC and looked back at the 2 hive icons... both were grey. I checked the scoreboard... all names were red except mine. "**obscenity**!" I thought, knowing that it was over, but they wouldn?t get me without a fight! I quickly turned around and began to whack their portal, praying that it was the only one they had. After it was destroyed I began to whack the CC. It went down after a minute and all of a sudden at least 4 turrets started firing at me again. I hightailed the hell out of there, using the other exit of the marine spawn and went into a corner to regenerate.
  
  Then I heard them coming from the other side. They just entered their spawn and one of them typed: "Come out you freakin?alien! We got your friends, and we will get you too!" They slowly advanced into my direction, either not realizing that their CC was gone or it simply didn?t matter to them anymore because they won the game anyway. They went through their spawn, entering the room where I was. I just stood there, heart pounding. I just hoped that they didn?t have motion tracking, because that would certainly have been my death. My body made a sloshing sound as I was healed, and the marines noticed it. They fired through the room, in nearly every corner except mine. Thankfully, I stopped regenerating soon, and they slowly went past me. One of them stopped, looked right at me, and for a moment I was entirely sure that they just played a last, terrifying game with me before mowing me down. Thankfully, he moved on, heading back to their spawn while his comrades advanced through the corridor. I quickly jumped him, using my last remaining weapon: the swipe. After I hit him 3 times he turned around, pointing his gun at me. I circle-strafed around him, slashing like a maniac while he fired in all directions. I was down to about 50 health when he finally had to reload. I hit him one last time, and he keeled over. I just stood there... victory! But I didn?t have much time to be proud of it because his buddys were coming back.
  
  I went back into a corner and cloaked, knowing that it was over now. As soon as they saw their dead buddy they knew that there was something wrong. 2 of them blocked the corridor while the 3rd one began to spray the walls with hundrets of bullets. There only was one way I could get out of there: through their base. I didn?t think, I just reacted and decloked, running through the base while half a dozen turrets were firing at me. I managed to get out of there after strafing like mad and I ran for my life, back to the bridge room and down the stairs and the turrets nearly shot me to death. Then I saw one marine typing: "Why isn?t he respawning?", and then they knew what was going on.
  
  I had the luck not to run into any more turrets while running through the corridors. After I totally regenerated I found an elevator, leading to one of my team?s resource nozzles. The elevator was at the bottom so I jumped down and stood there for a couple of seconds, thinking about what to do next. I just stood there thinking, and then I heard them coming. "Spread out!" one of them typed. "He must be here somewhere." I pushed the button to send up the elevator, hoping to get some more time before they heard me anyway. Obviously, they all walked in different directions but one of them seemed to get suspicious when he heard the elevator coming. He jumped on it and pushed the button. The elevator went down and I was standing right in front of it, cloaked. I knew that they would find me soon anyway so I wanted to get it over with. He walked right in front of me, and I chuckled. He frantically spun around and I began to slash him. One time, two times... he died. I wondered if he got injured before but it didn?t really matter to me because I heard the third marine coming.
  
  He jumped down, and I wasn?t fully cloaked again! I could nearly hear him saying: "Aha!" before he opened fire. I knew that I was screwed so I ran right at him. Thankfully, he only had a light LMG so I didn?t take too much damage before taking him down. I waited for the sloshing sound... nothing. Neither health or armour came back, and I looked at the right side of my screen. The fourth marine had taken out the last defense chambers, and also the sensory chambers. "F**k!" I thought and began to run. I ran for about a minute and when I came to the "Power Silo", I bumped right into the last marine. I didn?t even bother moving because with my low health, he would have killed me anyways. He pulled the trigger... *click*. He looked at his HMG and then quickly pulled out his pistol. "Showdown", I thought and quickly tried to close the distance as fast as possible while he fired at me, all the time strafing from one side to another, but he did get a few good shots on me. He finally switched to his knife while I tried to rip his head off, and I found out that I underestimated him. He dodged like a mouse trying to escape from a cat, and he hit me a couple of times more than I did him. At one point, we both paused for a second. I could tell that he was heavily injured but the same applied for me, and I knew that I wouldn?t survive another strike from him. Then he charged me, and I made a step aside so that he ran past me, showing me his juicy back. I quickly hit him and he keeled over.
  
  The battle was over, and I chuckled one last time before spawning to the ready room where everybody of the aliens, and even some of the marines, congratulated me for my victory.

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