You May Live in Canada

Byeka · April 2011

<div class="IPBDescription">Question For the Americans</div>Question for all you Americans. I was recently forwarded this email from my dad. Needless to say, I agree with most of the things on here. What's more is I figured a lot of these were pretty typical for North American in general. Would all of these be really odd in the USA? I've never had a lengthy phone conversation with a wrong number but it is pretty common to measure distance in hours and consider -2 just a little chilly.

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has
To say about Canadians during a

Recent appearance at Caesers in

Windsor:

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .

(this is my favourite, because how true)

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

That_Annoying_Kid · April 2011

where is milk in bag remarks

also where is comprox?

Talesin · April 2011

Eh? Californians tend to measure distance by time, given that it's generally a sliding scale near the major metropolitan areas. Driving from A to B may take half an hour if you leave at 3pm, but leave at 4:30 or 5 and it's going to take three or four hours to get there. Especially if you need to take the 405 or 5 near Los Angeles.

It isn't *real* traffic until you've set your parking brake for five minutes at a time.

NeonSpyder · April 2011

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Talesin @ Apr 30 2011, 03:53 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1843333"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>Eh? Californians tend to measure distance by time, given that it's generally a sliding scale near the major metropolitan areas. Driving from A to B may take half an hour if you leave at 3pm, but leave at 4:30 or 5 and it's going to take three or four hours to get there. Especially if you need to take the 405 or 5 near Los Angeles.

It isn't *real* traffic until you've set your parking brake for five minutes at a time.</div>

Well where I live (British columbia, canada)going to the interior of the province takes between 4 to 6 hours depending on how you drive and how the mountain weather is that day.

Also the line about the speed limit being 80km and you're going 95km but everybody is still passing you? So godamn true. I was driving in the #1 highway last weekend and I was driving through a that kind of straddled the highway (Kamloops) and the speed limit dropped from 110km to 80 or 90km and everyone was still going 125km even though there were several intersections with lights on the street. How they managed to stop in time I'll never know.

Although one guy in a pickup truck was doing 50km and taking up a lane and a half, and he wasn't even merging or anything. I think he had a big propane tank in the back too, not one of those little barbaque ones either I mean it took up half the back. Talk about hazardous.

DiscoZombie · April 2011

The contrasts I find most true is that we definitely don't give strangers the time of day in the US, and people are horribly slow drivers especially during precipitation. If they see a single snowflake or raindrop, it's 35 mph on the highway all the way.

Thansal · April 2011

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (DiscoZombie @ Apr 30 2011, 11:43 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1843364"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>The contrasts I find most true is that we definitely don't give strangers the time of day in the US, and people are horribly slow drivers especially during precipitation. If they see a single snowflake or raindrop, it's 35 mph on the highway all the way.</div>

I would say the difference between the US and Canada is that Canada is a bit more homogenized than the US (to my knowledge).

Every one I know measures trips in time, not distance. But then I live in NYC, the quickest path is rarely a straight one when taking a subway.

The friendliness to strangers varies quite a bit in the US. New Yorkers actually tend to be fairly friendly, sure we aren't going to have a 2hr conversation with a wrong number (I'm calling shenanigans on that one tbh), but it's normal enough to get help from some one that doesn't work in the store you are in. Other places are more friendly, and others are less.

Deer? Weather? Completely depends on where you are from, and we run the Gamut, it's a fairly big country spread over a number of different terrain types and locals. I know there are a couple places with winters as harsh as in Canada (most places around a big lake), and then there is Florida.

Oh, and drivers range around also. NYers are fine in rain, but a couple flakes and we suddenly suck (despite regularly having fairly serious winters).

Thaldarin · April 2011

If you post silly threads
On to internet forums
You may be silly

Chris0132 · April 2011

My grandmother knows how to use jumper cables.

NeonSpyder · April 2011

On the topic of friendliness:

Vancouver is a real ###### of a city. Since we have so many panhandlers, homeless, addicts and so on roaming the streets and asking "Excuse me but..." followed by requests for money, Vancouverites have become detached a bit and tend to ignore, brush off and generally be ######ish to anyone on the sidewalks or for that matter on the roads.

Everywhere else in BC is really nice, just not there.

Byeka · April 2011

lol Neon, I'm looking into Vancouver Film School for their Graphic Design and VFX program. Not what I want to hear :P

Also, I can definitely agree to that other drivers ALWAYS want to go faster even when you're already going over the speed limit here. And usually the ones in front of you are going too slow.

NeonSpyder · April 2011

Don't get me wrong, I love Vancouver or at least I want to love it, but like an abusive relationship I just can't say no to the city.

Outside of certain specific circumstances like on hobo-strewn streetcorners the people are generally okay. The job market is lousy right now though. It's too much to go into but basically even though we're the most expensive city to live in in all of canada our average wage is the lowest and all our 'entry level' jobs require 2-3 years experience in the field. Don't move here unless you have a job lined up already.

Byeka · April 2011

Sounds exactly the same as here in Toronto. Word for word.

lolfighter · April 2011

The whole "entry-level" jobs requiring years of experience thing seems to be a problem in much of the western world at the moment. My guess is that the economic crisis has forced so many people into unemployment that employers can get away with sticking experienced people in entry-level jobs because people are desperate enough to take any job they can get, and there is a surplus of unemployed experienced workers.

It's going to be hilarious years from now when all the employers whine how there are no experienced workers, oblivious to the fact that it'll be a crisis of their own making because they refused to let unexperienced workers get experience through entry-level jobs.

Align · May 2011

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (DiscoZombie @ Apr 30 2011, 04:43 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1843364"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>The contrasts I find most true is that we definitely don't give strangers the time of day in the US</div>
That's really interesting, when I see people talk about how their visit to america was like (or americans talking about their visit to sweden) it's usually mentioned how much friendlier people are to strangers in the US, or how you could just strike up a conversation with someone on the bus. I wonder what that means...
(it's down to individuals and the specific locations you visit)

That_Annoying_Kid · May 2011

in my small Californian town we are super friendly

except to out of town hobos

those bums

Drfuzzy · May 2011

Lol I'd say the same about the roads in Kentucky. Some are so bad its unbelievable, there is one in my neighborhood I've thought of fixing myself because its like hitting a crater.

Comprox · May 2011

Ok, this one made no sense to me:

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

Maybe it's something regional but ours stay open all year? If you really are Canadian, you eat ice cream no matter how cold it is out. I must be missing the joke. The rest I laughed at as they were true or half true :)

On the topic of this though, maybe someone can answer it. The joke about Canadians being afraid of the dark? It's something I have only heard of in the past few years and I am not sure where it came from? Maybe it's because I live so far North, we get more hours of dark than light in the winter so we are quite used to it.

Byeka · May 2011

Hmm I hear you Comprox. That Dairy Queen one made no sense to me either. My guess is it has something to do with the original author of the post and that person assumed all DQ's are the same as where he lives.

I heard that afraid of the dark thing on How I Met Your Mother for my first time. Was a mystery to me as well. Found this - <a href="http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100714152758AAaAF0O" target="_blank">http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index...14152758AAaAF0O</a>

I have a feeling they created it as a joke for the show :S

Konohas Perverted Hermit · May 2011

I like Canada, personally I've gone there many a times just to look around and hunt.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (That_Annoying_Kid @ Apr 29 2011, 11:22 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1843309"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>where is milk in bag remarks

also where is comprox?</div>

Bag Milk, is awesome.

That_Annoying_Kid · May 2011

dude if they had in in the US I would rock it

Konohas Perverted Hermit · May 2011

Bag milk is smart too. Uses like 70% the plastic that milk jugs do.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTPgd4HUk4w" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTPgd4HUk4w</a>

Twiggeh · May 2011

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Comprox @ May 2 2011, 01:05 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1843551"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>Ok, this one made no sense to me:

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

Maybe it's something regional but ours stay open all year? If you really are Canadian, you eat ice cream no matter how cold it is out. I must be missing the joke. The rest I laughed at as they were true or half true :)

On the topic of this though, maybe someone can answer it. The joke about Canadians being afraid of the dark? It's something I have only heard of in the past few years and I am not sure where it came from? Maybe it's because I live so far North, we get more hours of dark than light in the winter so we are quite used to it.</div>

The darkness-thingie is probably a "How i met your mother"-joke brought to real life.

Panigg · May 2011

I live in Germany... what is a speed limit? Oo

lolfighter · May 2011

It's the kind you have <i>nearly everywhere.</i> Also remember that "die Fahrweise ist den gegebenen UmstÃ¤nden anzupassen." If I see one more mother-###### speeding through dense fog at 120 kph I will start throwing caltrops.

Kouji_San · May 2011

You May Live in Canada if you've been greeted by this guy

<center><object width="450" height="356"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sekLEG8xsOs"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sekLEG8xsOs" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="450" height="356"></embed></object></center>
<div align='center'><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sekLEG8xsOs" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sekLEG8xsOs</a></div>

NolSinkler · June 2011

I feel as if the vast majority of these statements apply to us Michiganders.

NeonSpyder · June 2011

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (NolSinkler @ Jun 2 2011, 11:26 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1849633"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>I feel as if the vast majority of these statements apply to us Michiganders.</div>

Michigan and North Dakota might as well be canada as far as the accents are concerned.

<3 Mich n' ND

You May Live in Canada

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