Our Bands First Song!

ByekaByeka Name changed from Freak83Toronto Join Date: 2003-03-13 Member: 14484Members, Constellation
edited June 2012 in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">Thoughts/Feedback?</div>My friend and I just released our first song for our band - Hyper Two. The song is called Convergence and it's along the lines of instrumental rock.

YouTube / SoundCloud / Facebook links provided for however you prefer to listen. Would love to hear your thoughts and feedback on it! :D

<center><object width="450" height="356"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xqvlLnoJqLA"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xqvlLnoJqLA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="450" height="356"></embed></object></center>

<a href="http://www.soundcloud.com/hypertwo/convergence" target="_blank">http://www.soundcloud.com/hypertwo/convergence</a>

<a href="http://www.facebook.com/HyperTwoMusic" target="_blank">http://www.facebook.com/HyperTwoMusic</a>


<b>EDIT/UPDATE: Our Second Song</b>

Hey guys, thanks again for all your feedback on the song! We took it into consideration with the release of our second song "<a href="http://soundcloud.com/hypertwo/hyper-two-a-forgotten-empire" target="_blank">A Forgotten Empire</a>". With the lack of vocals we tried to fill it up more with instruments and not make it as repetitive. Thoughts?

<center><object width="450" height="356"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KAffQFOcJyY"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KAffQFOcJyY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="450" height="356"></embed></object></center>
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Comments

  • AlignAlign Remain Calm Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5216Forum Moderators, Constellation
    edited June 2012
    'salright

    Perfectly listenable, if a bit weak in the climax department
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  • Konohas Perverted HermitKonohas Perverted Hermit Join Date: 2008-09-26 Member: 65075Members
    edited June 2012
    <img src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/7/16/128922540249061566.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" />

    Gotta agree though it is an alright song to listen to.
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  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    edited June 2012
    I keep expecting vocals, but it doesn't have any. As it stands, it sounds like you wrote it with vocals in mind, but couldn't find a good vocalist.

    Alternatively, there's an instrument missing in some parts of it. Or rather, it could do with another one. Something that either builds an additional melody on top of what you have, or harmonizes over the one that's already there.

    Throwing in some bass guitar might also be a good idea. That may just be personal taste though.

    Drums are maybe a bit too prominent and elaborate compared to the other instruments. Compare this song to something like NIN's "The Perfect Drug" (unfair, I know), which is a much more uptempo and, for lack of a better word, forceful song, and can therefore get away with a much more prominent drum beat.


    All of this is from someone with no formal training and no musical experience except vocals, so take it with a pinch of salt.
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  • ByekaByeka Name changed from Freak83 Toronto Join Date: 2003-03-13 Member: 14484Members, Constellation
    Thanks guys!

    The song actually was written without any intent for vocals although I agree that I'm sure vocals could be layered on top. You are however correct in that we do not have a vocalist. Neither my friend or I can sing very well, or are any good at writing lyrics which is why we try to write our songs just instrumentally.

    I posted this same thread on another message board as well and the common theme among responses seems to be that it needs "a little bit more" in some way or another.

    We are currently working on our next one and we'll be taking all your suggestions into account. We want to get as good as possible and then even better ;)

    The next song does have bass as well :P
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  • TheDestroyerTheDestroyer Tooobah Join Date: 2003-07-12 Member: 18123Members, Constellation
    It has some generic feelings, but it has some good ideas to build off of. It think the two big issues I have with it is the sectional nature of the song (musical idea after musical idea... it isn't until near the end where the ideas meld into another a bit) and the thin orchestration (I assume, though, that it is just two members...though thin orchestration can be done [one group I listen to is Drums and Tuba, which is basically just that.]). Going off what lolfighter said, the drums are a more elaborate that the rest of the instrumentals. However, more could be done with the instrumentals rather than taking away from the drums (adding rhythmic complexity/variation).

    In the end, it is a good start. The hardest part is getting a group together and actually making the music. After that point, things start to roll into place. Keep up the work!
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  • DeadzoneDeadzone Join Date: 2003-07-03 Member: 17911Members, Reinforced - Shadow
    For a first song, this isn't bad at all. It was catchy enough that kept humming an improvised melody, which means it was fun.

    The thing that I think you could improve on is on the "refrain" that the song keeps coming back to. Basically the riff that the lead guitar keeps doing is.... REALLY repetitive. There's not really any meat to that part of the song, despite coming back to it several times.

    I'd definitely listen to more.
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  • ByekaByeka Name changed from Freak83 Toronto Join Date: 2003-03-13 Member: 14484Members, Constellation
    Hey guys, thanks again for all your feedback on the song! We took it into consideration with the release of our second song "<a href="http://soundcloud.com/hypertwo/hyper-two-a-forgotten-empire" target="_blank">A Forgotten Empire</a>". With the lack of vocals we tried to fill it up more with instruments and not make it as repetitive. Thoughts?

    <center><object width="450" height="356"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KAffQFOcJyY"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KAffQFOcJyY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="450" height="356"></embed></object></center>
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  • ellnicellnic Join Date: 2010-07-19 Member: 72559Members, Reinforced - Shadow
    talking about Hyper Two - Convergence. Would be great to hear some vocals with that. You should team of with a song writer to see if you can get some lyrics that fit well with it. Apart from that, great beat.
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  • AlignAlign Remain Calm Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5216Forum Moderators, Constellation
    edited July 2012
    A clear improvement, but I still miss there being a definite climax - as the song is, it builds up really well, but it feels like there is no climax (that is, from 2:30 to the end felt like it was building up to a climax, but it just doesn't happen). I could see 2:30ish being the climax, but then it goes on for too long.
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  • ByekaByeka Name changed from Freak83 Toronto Join Date: 2003-03-13 Member: 14484Members, Constellation
    Thanks guys!

    @ellnic - I'm not sure if we'll do that for Convergence, however we do have at least 3 other songs in the works that we plan to have vocals for. We just need to find someone to sing them and help with writing them.

    @Align - I'm not sure I completely understand what you mean. Do you mean that it ends a little too quickly without any sort of final wrap up? From 3:35 onwards is what we had officially labelled as the "outro" in the sheet music. 2:30 is actually labelled as the pre-chorus / chorus even though it only plays once.
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  • AlignAlign Remain Calm Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5216Forum Moderators, Constellation
    There doesn't seem to be a climax, or if there is, it's soft enough to blend in with the rest of the song. So as I was waiting for the climax, the song ended, and I was confused.
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  • ellnicellnic Join Date: 2010-07-19 Member: 72559Members, Reinforced - Shadow
    <!--quoteo(post=1948305:date=Jul 2 2012, 05:24 AM:name=Byeka)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Byeka @ Jul 2 2012, 05:24 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1948305"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->@ellnic - I'm not sure if we'll do that for Convergence, however we do have at least 3 other songs in the works that we plan to have vocals for. We just need to find someone to sing them and help with writing them.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->


    Thanks a shame, would really like to of heard that with a good song. Would be intrested to hear the others if and when you get someone to sing for you
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  • remiremi remedy [blu.knight] Join Date: 2003-11-18 Member: 23112Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS2 Developer, NS2 Playtester
    What'a'bump.
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