Six Minutes In Ns_sanji
NinjaBurger
Join Date: 2002-11-25 Member: 9931Members
Join Date: 2002-11-25 Member: 9931Members
<div class="IPBDescription">(or, "what really happened")</div> six minutes in ns_sanji (a parody?)::
Part 1.1 :: what really happened
OMFG, ok, we were on ns_sanjii for like ever, crouching to hide our hit boxes and bunny-hopping down this long tunnel. And then like my ping went to like 900 and I was like "wtf" so I just stayed there for a minute. Behind me, Sh3ll@ck was like making noise and stuff, and I was like "omfg noob".
"Gridlok," Sh3ll@ck said, "Nano-gridloc. If the core is lik this, we better have a good com or we = dead."
"WTF?"
"Noob."
"OMFG you llama."
"STFU. Let's get back to the comm."
"Fine. Noobs," NSPlayer cursed.
All we had was lmg which suxors but oh well. We went down the long tunnel and stuff. There was like purple lighting in the map and it was pretty cool. Then some llama starting singing into the mic and I was like "WTF" and the Admin threatened to kick him so he shut up.
The map had ice and stuff. There was grey lighting. It was dark but I had my gamma jacked so I could see fine n e way.
"Comm we need 2 mov teh base." The base was like all ice and a bunch of Fades could just like acid bomb it in a few minutes.
The Com came on. "Anyone need anything?."
"HA HMG" said NSPlayer.
"HA HMG" said Sh3ll@ck.
"HA HMG" said M3rc33.
"HA HMG" said T3771g.
"Gimme Jetpack and shottie and I can take out teh hive," I said.
"STFU llama" said T3771g
I tried to swear but the server censored me.
"OK STFU we hav no resources n e way," said the Com. "Go to your waypoint, soldier."
We followed the waypoint back towards base. Except Sh3ll@ck, who was being a Rambo and went off into a vent by himself. That's when it happened.
Daring shouted "OMFG" and the Skulk popped out of the vent and hit Sh3ll@ck twice. We all emptied our clips into the air but missed.
"Aimbot" I said.
"STFU" said the Skulk. "Thers no aimbot for melee."
The Skulk jumped like a little llama and we couldn't hit him and then we were like out of ammo.
"I need ammo" said 4 marines simultaneously.
Sh3ll@ck said "Medpack". He was hurt bad but there was no blood or anything because Flayra doesn't want blood in teh game.
"Back to base" said the com.
"WTF was that?" asked T3771g.
"OMFG noob it was a Skul" I said.
"Medpack" said Sh3ll@ck.
"Use your menu" said the Com. "I cant find you with voice."
We got back to base and Com spammed us with medpacks.
"OK guard base and wait for waypoint. I'm upgrading the armory."
"Com ammo's not working WTF."
"OMFG noob I just said."
A second armory appeared. We all stared at it.
"Build the armory."
"I don't want to build" I said. "It's boring. I want a shottie."
"Follow orders or we will lose OK?" said the Com.
"Commander has been ejected" said the computer.
I got in the Com chair and dropped a jet pack and shottie, then jumped out again and picked it up.
"OMFG noobs. Someone Com. I go kill hive."
I jet packed out of the room and fell down the elevator and died. A few minutes later I respawned at base. Faj1d was Com now.
"Com need jetpack shottie" I said.
But Faj1d spammed us with phase gates and then left the Com.
"WTF" I said.
Faj1d F4'd and left the game. And then the Skulks came and ate us.
"Pwned" they said.
Teh end.
Part 1.1 :: what really happened
OMFG, ok, we were on ns_sanjii for like ever, crouching to hide our hit boxes and bunny-hopping down this long tunnel. And then like my ping went to like 900 and I was like "wtf" so I just stayed there for a minute. Behind me, Sh3ll@ck was like making noise and stuff, and I was like "omfg noob".
"Gridlok," Sh3ll@ck said, "Nano-gridloc. If the core is lik this, we better have a good com or we = dead."
"WTF?"
"Noob."
"OMFG you llama."
"STFU. Let's get back to the comm."
"Fine. Noobs," NSPlayer cursed.
All we had was lmg which suxors but oh well. We went down the long tunnel and stuff. There was like purple lighting in the map and it was pretty cool. Then some llama starting singing into the mic and I was like "WTF" and the Admin threatened to kick him so he shut up.
The map had ice and stuff. There was grey lighting. It was dark but I had my gamma jacked so I could see fine n e way.
"Comm we need 2 mov teh base." The base was like all ice and a bunch of Fades could just like acid bomb it in a few minutes.
The Com came on. "Anyone need anything?."
"HA HMG" said NSPlayer.
"HA HMG" said Sh3ll@ck.
"HA HMG" said M3rc33.
"HA HMG" said T3771g.
"Gimme Jetpack and shottie and I can take out teh hive," I said.
"STFU llama" said T3771g
I tried to swear but the server censored me.
"OK STFU we hav no resources n e way," said the Com. "Go to your waypoint, soldier."
We followed the waypoint back towards base. Except Sh3ll@ck, who was being a Rambo and went off into a vent by himself. That's when it happened.
Daring shouted "OMFG" and the Skulk popped out of the vent and hit Sh3ll@ck twice. We all emptied our clips into the air but missed.
"Aimbot" I said.
"STFU" said the Skulk. "Thers no aimbot for melee."
The Skulk jumped like a little llama and we couldn't hit him and then we were like out of ammo.
"I need ammo" said 4 marines simultaneously.
Sh3ll@ck said "Medpack". He was hurt bad but there was no blood or anything because Flayra doesn't want blood in teh game.
"Back to base" said the com.
"WTF was that?" asked T3771g.
"OMFG noob it was a Skul" I said.
"Medpack" said Sh3ll@ck.
"Use your menu" said the Com. "I cant find you with voice."
We got back to base and Com spammed us with medpacks.
"OK guard base and wait for waypoint. I'm upgrading the armory."
"Com ammo's not working WTF."
"OMFG noob I just said."
A second armory appeared. We all stared at it.
"Build the armory."
"I don't want to build" I said. "It's boring. I want a shottie."
"Follow orders or we will lose OK?" said the Com.
"Commander has been ejected" said the computer.
I got in the Com chair and dropped a jet pack and shottie, then jumped out again and picked it up.
"OMFG noobs. Someone Com. I go kill hive."
I jet packed out of the room and fell down the elevator and died. A few minutes later I respawned at base. Faj1d was Com now.
"Com need jetpack shottie" I said.
But Faj1d spammed us with phase gates and then left the Com.
"WTF" I said.
Faj1d F4'd and left the game. And then the Skulks came and ate us.
"Pwned" they said.
Teh end.
Comments
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Lmao, errrr nice story...
*chuckle*
-Ryan!
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
-- Edward De Bono
And its all the more awesome because its true... so true.
I are teh like! <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
ahahahahahhaaha!!!!!!! LOL DUDE lhaahha
That's probably exactly what would happen too.
I almost busted a gut reading this! Awesome Job!
All those people with their "The fatty / a misunderstood beast / but he can build stuff / yeah / etc" have NOTHING on this thread!
LMAO!!!
But don't you have build the armoury first to get a shotgun and the jp needs a whole ton of buildings or is this story just for laughs? <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
And this text makes me grateful I have a certain quote in my sig so I don't have to recite my edited Caligula manually <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tiny.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
<a href='http://www.natural-selection.org/sanjii_main.html' target='_blank'>>.<</a>
-Ryan!
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
-- Alice Kahn
Damn, that's exactly what I would've said. Well, not exactly, I would have had to be ramble and rant for a good page or two, but I'm sure you get the idea. Great piece of written satirical comedy, I'm still glowing from laughing so hard.
-- Edward De Bono <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
In that case, HAHAHAH <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->:D:D: LOLOLOLOL <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::lerk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/lerk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='lerk.gif'><!--endemo-->
-- Edward De Bono <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
In that case, HAHAHAH <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->:D:D: LOLOLOLOL <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::lerk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/lerk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='lerk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
/me watches as blood sugar levels drop enough for him to come down of that high...