[sigh]
<div class="IPBDescription">trying too hard?</div> i think i try too hard to find something deep, at this age. the closest thing i have... i can't really bring myself to talk about.
but.. i'm 16. i'm a junior in HS. should i even be looking for something meaningful at this age? i usually just go by what i observe, and think these things out myself.. but i want to know what everyone here thinks.
the last thing i was working on was with this freshman girl. i thought she was mature, but i let her go when she couldn't handle things. i got too serious. no, not physical, she's not the dry humping one. we hadn't even kissed. but i had strong feelings, and i think i saturated her. it wasn't good for her, so i just let her go. things are alright between us, but it's not about that.
it's just that.. maybe i'm looking in the wrong places. i'm talking to some senior girls... their personalities seem more developed, maybe because they've been through more. but even so, they could be the shallow, tiresome thing i'm trying to avoid. i don't know.
any thoughts? =\
but.. i'm 16. i'm a junior in HS. should i even be looking for something meaningful at this age? i usually just go by what i observe, and think these things out myself.. but i want to know what everyone here thinks.
the last thing i was working on was with this freshman girl. i thought she was mature, but i let her go when she couldn't handle things. i got too serious. no, not physical, she's not the dry humping one. we hadn't even kissed. but i had strong feelings, and i think i saturated her. it wasn't good for her, so i just let her go. things are alright between us, but it's not about that.
it's just that.. maybe i'm looking in the wrong places. i'm talking to some senior girls... their personalities seem more developed, maybe because they've been through more. but even so, they could be the shallow, tiresome thing i'm trying to avoid. i don't know.
any thoughts? =\
Comments
Read the Bible. Try and believe it, intensely. Don't scoff at this, I KNOW that this always works. Just try it. Don't go to church, don't talk with christians, just read the bible. That stuff comes later for someone looking for the "reality" of everything.
Read the Bible. Try and believe it, intensely. Don't scoff at this, I KNOW that this always works. Just try it. Don't go to church, don't talk with christians, just read the bible. That stuff comes later for someone looking for the "reality" of everything. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
explain, please?
Believe me, "tis better to have loved and lost" IS REALLY REALLY TRUE.
I just can't make inroads with any girl that i'm attracted to at all... perhaps I hate myself inadvertantly, but everyone I seem to like is out of reach or I can't bring myself to talk to.
We'll grow out of it, hopefully <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Girls at our (I'm 16 too) don't have a freaking clue what they want. IT'll be another 8 years or so before they're sure of that.
Take it easy, have fun with it, build emotional connections sure, but realize that in the grand scheme of htings, it probably means little.
I'm trying to get the same bit of advice through my own head.... I'll describe my situation if you want but... meh, I don't feel like throwing it out there if it's not going to help anyone.
You can't really say that seniors have been through more. It depends on personal experience. Many HS seniors haven't gone through relationships so some could just be as inexperienced as the next freshman. As for personalities, they are shaped by their peers (to be accepted...to fit in). Personalities can change in a matter of months. A personality can also come from within, too. Self-realization can quite possibly be one of the hardest things to do as it comes from the inside. This process can begin whenever you feel like it, whether you're 16 or 21. We like to call this "being ourselves" and I'm sure that many of us aren't.
Mental preparation is the key (or at least one of them) in a relationship. Taking time to think is good, just don't overdo it ^_~.
Most you can really do is just be cool, don't get into it too much because that scares women away. Just act like a nice guy, just don't go too far.
It'll happen, don't sweat it.
edit: I'm about 99% sure that the bible will not help you in this situation. Like communist said, it'll be another year or two before things start getting really good. My best advice is, just don't worry about it, seems like pretty lame advice but theres really no other way.
we talk about life, and about love. she's told me outright she loves me and all... i think i should just be happy with what we've got. i guess i must be lucky, at my age.
but on a serious/personal note, I graduated HS in a class of 9 pplz. 2 of them were womens. I didn't have a snowball's chance, so consider yourself lucky you've had decent romantic experiences already. After that, I found love online =P and stuck with her for 5 years. Keep an open mind and an open eye and the right way to handle things will open itself up to you...
Please forgive me when I say that that sounds like a BS line. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
what's BS? you think he doesn't really have someone who loves him? or that love is fake and he's therefore not really lucky? but anyway, yah, I wish I had someone who freely admitted she loved me at 16... =P I was a shy little turd back then who couldn't even look a girl in the face.
Please forgive me when I say that that sounds like a BS line. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
what's BS? you think he doesn't really have someone who loves him? or that love is fake and he's therefore not really lucky? but anyway, yah, I wish I had someone who freely admitted she loved me at 16... =P I was a shy little turd back then who couldn't even look a girl in the face. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ok, looking back, I was not quoteing what I thought I was, so disregard that, I thought there was something else in that quote but I guess there wasn't, so I guess I'll just admit to being dumb in this case and move on.
hives, no hard feelings. i was asking for any ideas or thoughts, and so i'm accepting all ideas and thoughts presented.
wrong guy, i've never adminned at an NS server, silly.
i go by the names venom6 or Jin-Roh on NS. haven't changed to Zig.
That's just uncalled-for.
i go by the names venom6 or Jin-Roh on NS. haven't changed to Zig. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
my bad, sorry mustve been somebody else, now back to the topic, jsut a silly misunderstanding <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Uh.. yes I do. If I didn't know what I wanted then I wouldn't have any feelings or emotions at all, both of which constitute "wants" Now these current "wants" could be totally different than those 8 years down the line, but they are still what I want.
Uh.. yes I do. If I didn't know what I wanted then I wouldn't have any feelings or emotions at all, both of which constitute "wants" Now these current "wants" could be totally different than those 8 years down the line, but they are still what I want. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
i know, i'm just ignoring that. i've been through a lot. meaningless things, one-sided things, ecstatic highs and sh*t stain lows.
i'm accepting all ideas here. food for thought.
edit: i didn't make it very clear before. the girl who i'm closest to right now is also going to college soon, and we both know there's a full possibility she'll meet someone there. i'd like to think it's the same for me, but most likely it's not, because of the HS scene and all.
Believe me, "tis better to have loved and lost" IS REALLY REALLY TRUE.
I just can't make inroads with any girl that i'm attracted to at all... perhaps I hate myself inadvertantly, but everyone I seem to like is out of reach or I can't bring myself to talk to.
We'll grow out of it, hopefully <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I'm going to have to disagree with you there (the "tis better..." part, since I know nothing of your personal life). As anyone who's read a few of my posts. I knew a girl, I loved a girl, a girl returned to her home country, I lost a girl, I'll never see said girl again.
Looking back I feel retarded for getting sortof involved (not like, big dates or whatever; there was a dance though...heh)with someone I knew I'd probably never see again. Then again, I'm to emotional, my memory is to good for it's own self.
In life I've found the following two phrases untrue:
"Out of sight, out of mind" ...for people anyway...err...for me.
" 'tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." ...loving and losing makes you question yourself to much, of course, if it's someone dieing, it's probably slightly different. Of course, never having loved is pure innocence...You should at least love your family (and for the devout Christians, I think it says that God comes before your family...but whatever).
Hopefully, I'll meet someone in college (go there in 2 days...yay freshmen? <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> ). However I'll probably muck that up somehow. In conclusion, don't listen to me, in fact, forget everything I just said. I'm just a forlorn pascifist, that can't spell, mourning his bad decisions.
...I need one of them flashy thingys from Men in Black...
...I need one of them flashy thingys from Men in Black... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Oh the things that cause memory loss? I have one, its called a nightstick.
Guys, please...get that silly notion out of your head that women are insane.
Perhaps they see things much more differently than you do, and there remains the question of whether or not you are sensitive to their thoughts and feelings. Instead of looking at situations like a normal guy, try taking into consideration of what a woman would think.
about her... no, she's not in HS. read carefully =\
I think he means "we persue that which retreats from us" =P (coincidentally a line from the Tao Te Ching mentioned above). Rent the movie, <i>The Tao of Steve</i>. Tis funny and on-topic.
anyway, translation: the less interested in a girl you act (to an extent), the more interested in you she'll be... and I know some ppl will want to argue with it, but don't bother; it's a fact of life. If you hang on a girl and act like she's the only one in the world and you could never stand to lose her... well, while it may be romantic, she'll think one of 2 things, if not both: "this guy's a loser who knows he'll never be able to get anyone besides me. that means I can do better," or, "wow, if this guy is so insane for me, I must really be awesome. that means I can do better." in both cases, they look for someone else... now, if you play it cool and hard-to-get, she'll think, "why doesn't this guy like me more? I'll keep after him, because if I can't win his heart, I must really suck."
it sucks that people can't just be happy with each other, and sometimes they can, but it takes a verry delicate balancing of neuroses... that is, it takes a silent agreement that you both know you could find other people with different qualities if you wanted, but you still choose each other...
I think he means "we persue that which retreats from us" =P (coincidentally a line from the Tao Te Ching mentioned above). Rent the movie, <i>The Tao of Steve</i>. Tis funny and on-topic.
anyway, translation: the less interested in a girl you act (to an extent), the more interested in you she'll be... and I know some ppl will want to argue with it, but don't bother; it's a fact of life. If you hang on a girl and act like she's the only one in the world and you could never stand to lose her... well, while it may be romantic, she'll think one of 2 things, if not both: "this guy's a loser who knows he'll never be able to get anyone besides me. that means I can do better," or, "wow, if this guy is so insane for me, I must really be awesome. that means I can do better." in both cases, they look for someone else... now, if you play it cool and hard-to-get, she'll think, "why doesn't this guy like me more? I'll keep after him, because if I can't win his heart, I must really suck."
it sucks that people can't just be happy with each other, and sometimes they can, but it takes a verry delicate balancing of neuroses... that is, it takes a silent agreement that you both know you could find other people with different qualities if you wanted, but you still choose each other... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
*Tosses Discon the thumbs up*