Advertising within ns?

F_o_RStormF_o_RStorm Join Date: 2002-08-05 Member: 1076Members
<div class="IPBDescription">The results would be spooky.</div>After a PT, we somehow we brought up the discussion of what it would be like to have advertising completely take over NS. We came up with some damn hilarious conclusions:


<tommyd> if you think about it...  how would a lv4 produce a huge projectile like an acid rocket in <1 sec?
<TheAlmightyHat> Don't ask me, I'm not an fade-ologist!
<[FoR]Storm> He drinks a lot of sunny d before he goes into battle..
<[FoR]Storm> How should we know tommy?
<Plaguebearer> if the bug that causes them to hit the firer when you try to shoot them is taken out, then the selfdamage problem will take care of itself
<TheAlmightyHat> It would be cool if attached to his back were canisters of sunny d
<[FoR]Storm> lol
<[FoR]Storm> Yeah NS could become a sellout game!
<[FoR]Storm> Why is lvl 4 so strong? He drinks sunny d! That's why!
<TheAlmightyHat> Marines wear New Balance boots
<tommyd> lol sponser tags on the marine uniforms
<tommyd> like racecar drivers
<[FoR]Storm> lol!
<[FoR]Storm> The cc has a big pepsi sticker slapped on it.
<tommyd> 'id like to thank my sponsers, Marlboro and Tide for this amazing victory against the aliens'
<TheAlmightyHat> 'Gee Mr. Marine, how do you fly around in that jetpack so well?' 'Well you see, Timmy, I use the best kind of boots out there. New Balance! If you don't wear them, you suck at everything!' 'Thanks, Mr. Marine!' 'No problem Timmy!'
<[FoR]Storm> LOL
<[FoR]Storm> holy damn, so funny. Laughing so hard.
<tommyd> yea, pretty soon you'll see Flayra whering a Nike hat 24/7 like Tiger Woods
<[FoR]Storm> lol
<TheAlmightyHat> 'Pepsi Armory, for those who think young! *wink*'
<pac|h0m3w0rK> ALiens get a Coca-Cola hive. Crush the Pepsi humans!
<pac|h0m3w0rK> It's a coke can with vines.
<tommyd> Pepsi VS Coke gamemode!
<TheAlmightyHat> The lerk shoots spikes with Sprite stickers on them
<TheAlmightyHat> His chuckle turns into 'Quench your thirst!'
<Comprox> pepsi colored grenades <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->
<[FoR]Storm> One marine sponsored by pepsi, the other by coke. They begin to pistol whip each other in the face.
<[FoR]Storm> Woah. Pepsi coloured?
<Silverfox> ...
<coil-m0v13> wait!
<TheAlmightyHat> Yes, brown grenades
<Silverfox> lol, you guys have problems ..
<coil-m0v13> that's the MvM scenario!!!!!!!!
<[FoR]Storm> Naw.
<coil-m0v13> RIVAL SPONSORS!
<TheAlmightyHat> haha
<[FoR]Storm> Brown grenade. How trendy!
<TheAlmightyHat> But make the sponsors like 'MacDonalds' and 'Burger King'
<pac|h0m3w0rK> Satan vs Jesus!
<tommyd> im gonna post this on the forums
<TheAlmightyHat> What's the McDonalds slogan? We love the way you smile?
<Comprox> Mircosoft and Apple "No, our command console software is better&#33<!--emo&;)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=';)'><!--endemo-->
<TheAlmightyHat> Marine1: 'We love the way you smile, biotch!' Marine2: 'Have a Whopper, from my grenade launcher!
<tommyd> ROOOOFL
<Fam> Ive got a whopper right here!
<[FoR]Storm> So typical of a marine.
* Fam reads up a bit.
<Fam> Oh, sorry, nm.
<Silverfox> its 'we love to see you smile ...'
<Silverfox> =P
<TheAlmightyHat> Oh
<TheAlmightyHat> Well
* TheAlmightyHat committs seppeku
<Silverfox> good
<Grendel> What the hell are you crack heads talking about?
<Silverfox> lol
<TheAlmightyHat> Oh I know, I know, the alien infestation could be sponsored by Microsoft
<tommyd> 'i like to polish my new prototype lab with Turtle Wax, can't beat that shine'
<TheAlmightyHat> And the marines are Linux
<TheAlmightyHat> Little penguins on their jetpacks
<Comprox> Enron Marine - "Ok aliens, if we give you these fake stock options, which you can exercise in a year, become millionaries and buy out the human race, will you not kill us?"
<Silverfox> lol
<Fam> Pfft.
<TheAlmightyHat> 'When I'm in the heat of battle with an Ohnos, I like to know that my sweat won't bother me. That's why I use Icy-Hot deoderant. That way, when I'm running in terror, I won't be distracted by my sweaty armpits!'
<Plaguebearer> Seriously, though, hopefully in MvM mode, and in AvA, we can get different models for each team.  Just changing colours would suck.
<Fam> Throw in Leeloo dallas and Ripley, its a blockbuster plot!
<Grendel> Leeloo? What would my cat be doing in it?
<Greedo386> yes, I'm sure there'll be different models
<Fam> Grendel, you sad, sad man.
<Comprox> Mircsoft marine = "man, I love this new HUD on my googles! Hey...wait, it just went all blue! I can't see!"
<Grendel> I didn't know it was a name. The lack of capitalisation threw me. <!--emo&;)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=';)'><!--endemo-->
<TheAlmightyHat> Meow Mix = Marine: I feed my Lerk good ol' fashioned Meow Mix! Lerk: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow Marine: Meow Mix! It wor*CHOMP*---AUGH!!!
<Fam> Nokia Marine : "I can download new games for my visor from the TSA website!"
<tommyd> 'what would you do for a Klondike bar?  Would you jump in a pit of 12 skulks?'
<Fam> Not now Skulk, I am playing Snake4!
<KungFuSquirrel> We need an NS version of the retirement at with that Colin guy from who's line is it anyway, heh
<TheAlmightyHat> 'When you just can't talk, try our new Verizon Wireless voiceless phone. Comes in handy when you're running away screaming like a little girl from a gade.'
<TheAlmightyHat> *Fade
<TheAlmightyHat> I can't think of any more
<Grendel> So, are there enough people here to actually play NS?
<KungFuSquirrel> or perhaps grenade? I think little girls running away from a live grenade is more amusing than running away from some frightening alien. <!--emo&:p--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':p'><!--endemo-->
<KungFuSquirrel> perhaps that's just me
<[FoR]Storm> Posted
<Comprox> Marine wandering around the level over voice comm "Can you hear me now? Good!"
<Comprox> Verizon voiecomm, what every marine should use
<TheAlmightyHat> Commander: Yes I can hear you! Build the resource tower!
<Greedo386> Can you hear me now?  *mute* Hello?  Hey, you there?
<Comprox> lol
<TheAlmightyHat> Now comes with a handy mute feature, when that pesky commander gets on your nerves.
<[FoR]Storm> Grendy: we just finished a pt
<[FoR]Storm> But I'll play again.
<KungFuSquirrel> Dude! You're gettin' a Dell ™ Arms Lab!

<KFS[StoryDueTomorrow]> We sealed one skulk in this generic zipper bag and another in our patented Glad ultra-lock bag with dual zippers and color stripe. Which one would you rather be locked in a... err... oh, ####. *double skulk pounce*
<TheAlmightyHat> Don't get Mad, get Glad. Glad easyware containers, for when you can't find anything else to put those severed limbs in.
<pac|h0m3w0rK> *Kid opens lunch bag, marine head inside, kid frowns.* Next day *Kid opens lunchbag, skulk clings to his face*
<tommyd> 'when you are about to indulge in an intimate session with a female marine, do the right thing - Trojan Heavy Armor condoms'



<!--EDIT|[F.o.R]Storm|Sep. 15 2002,21:55-->

Comments

  • Bacon_BitsBacon_Bits Join Date: 2002-02-05 Member: 167Members
    you people are strange... but I love ya ;-P
  • humbabahumbaba That Exciting Tales From the Frontline Guy Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 86Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    CURSES! I missed that. Hah hah hah. Funny stuff. VERY funny.
  • DruBoDruBo Back In Beige Join Date: 2002-02-06 Member: 172Members, NS1 Playtester
    Icy-hot isn't deodorant. it's a pain relief ointment. You're thinking of Degree.

    Otherwise, ROFL.
  • BattousaixBattousaix Join Date: 2002-06-25 Member: 822Members
    LOL!!!!
    Marine1: Damn this turret its off.... I think the battery is really low..... Damn this cheap batteries!!
    Marine2: My turret it´s still up and... HISSS!! TRATRATA TA TRA TA TA TA *body hits floor* well.... it works as you can see, that´s because i use Duracell.........
  • Sgt_XSgt_X Join Date: 2002-03-01 Member: 261Members
    Who would've thought the lifting of the NDA would cause this influx of PT humour.
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    Marine: COMMANDER! Low on health, refinery
    Commander: Gotcha.
    Marine: Hurry Up
    Commander: I have to wait for the sound byte to finish playing
    Sound Byte: So, you've got a marine needing medical attention in the field, eh? Well, how about you slap a nice refreshing pepsi one in that medpack? Only 1 calorie! Mr. Marine will still have abs of steel to fight the aliens, while getting the taste he needs!
    Marine: COMMANDER!
    Onus: hehe...
  • JurrgenJurrgen Join Date: 2002-08-16 Member: 1178Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> </td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->
    Icy-hot isn't deodorant. it's a pain relief ointment. You're thinking of Degree.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Ah, well, thanks for the info. I'll keep that in mind next time I'm satiring advertisements.

    Regards,
    Jürrgen
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    Like it really matters  <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->
  • RhoadsToNowhereRhoadsToNowhere i r 8 Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 33Members
    One abbreviation, five words:

    LMFAO.
  • elitebearelitebear Join Date: 2002-05-29 Member: 696Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--RhoadsToNowhere+Sep. 15 2002,22:23--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (RhoadsToNowhere @ Sep. 15 2002,22:23)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->One abbreviation, five words:

    LMFAO.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    he speaks for all of us <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->
  • FreemantleFreemantle Join Date: 2002-06-16 Member: 783Members
    Fact:  Four out of five aliens spend all day eating humans. Not all of them are carrying a toothbrush. When you can't brush, chew on this.... Trident.
  • BedwettingTypeBedwettingType Join Date: 2002-07-26 Member: 1001Members
    ROFL!  That was great, especially the last part. <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->
  • HBNayrHBNayr Join Date: 2002-07-13 Member: 930Members
    Very rarely do I laugh out loud to something I read.  I might chuckle, or smile, or scoff, but rarely laugh.

    But this, especially the, "This new HUD software from Microsoft is great!  Just look at these feat- what the?  My HUD has gone blue!  I can't see anything!" was just...

    I laughed.  Out loud.  Very loudly.

    -Ryan!


    Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
    -- Emo Phillips
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    *Focus on Skulk*
    He brushed his teeth today
    *Focus on Gorge*
    So did he
    *Show Skulk about to eat marine*
    But his toothpaste will stop working right here

    Buy Crest or Trident or whatever I'm selling, lasts past the first marine!
  • TzarconTzarcon Join Date: 2002-02-28 Member: 259Members
    I can't stop laughing, that last line made me spit out my coke all over the floor
  • GwahirGwahir Join Date: 2002-04-24 Member: 513Members, Constellation
    though still, I would want to even think of two marines in heavy armor attempting such a thing.

    ...

    GAH!
  • WillowWillow Join Date: 2002-06-27 Member: 829Members
    aye, or when in a fire fight a salesmen suddenly appears and starts talking about "smelly bob´s new armor polish", ending in a nice tea party between the marines and aliens sponsored by "little mary joe´s fine tea´s".

    Advertising doesnt work in NS, only if there fictional brands and are pasted on bill bords on the various colonial outposts/ships.

    I rest my case, over to you..... Bob
  • alius42alius42 Join Date: 2002-07-23 Member: 987Members
    Pst...It was a joke. <!--emo&;)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=';)'><!--endemo-->
    Very funny btw.
  • ZcaliberZcaliber Join Date: 2002-01-26 Member: 93Members
    That's some funny shnizzle right there I say! <img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/Skin/SKIN-2/PostIcons/icon2.gif" border="0">

    Unfortunatly, I can't think of any good slogans at the moment... methinks that could be a good time killer in the off topic forums!
  • Shuvit_ViperShuvit_Viper Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 62Members
    <span style='font-family:ocr a extended'><span style='font-size:9pt;line-height:100%'>OMG, Zcaliber, your avatar is the best...</span></span>
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