950 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG

Omegaman

<div class="IPBDescription">HILARIOUS</div><a href="http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html" target="_blank">http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html</a>

154. I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.

252. I can not order the Druid to transform and roll out.

282. Even if laughter is the best medicine, it still doesn't restore any of my HP.

295. When my enemy blinks does not give me an attack of opportunity.

389. My samurai is not required to commit seppuku if he fails to hit the monster.

740. Not allowed to give my character a name from a bushman click language.

742. Apparently Chaotic Angry and Neutral Hungry aren't real alignments either.

762. Fighter can't put points in Perform just so he can hammer dance after each fatal critical hit.

846. Doesn't matter if it's an anime style game, I don't get a bonus to hit with eyepokes.

893. Invisibility is all or nothing, can't just target their clothes.


<img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" /> <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" />
Oh man, this is gold stuff. Check it out!

P.S. Also, share your funny DnD stories.

TychoCelchuuu

I don't want to get sucked into reading the whole list all over again to find my favorite ones, but there are some real gems there.

64. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God"
74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"
355. My monk's battlecry is not "Round 1: Fight!"
420. "For the King" is an example of a good battle cry. "Smoke the Mother" is not.
485. My Mossad agent's battlecry is not "Torah, Torah, Torah"

Lt_Patch

15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.

That one is just me in a nutshell. I get killed doing a mission on anything involving guns, I go back, buy and even BIGGER gun, and bring them the pain <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink-fix.gif" />

Ratonetwothreetwoone

<!--quoteo(post=1601178:date=Jan 23 2007, 12:10 PM:name=Lt_Patch)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Lt_Patch @ Jan 23 2007, 12:10 PM) [snapback]1601178[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.

That one is just me in a nutshell. I get killed doing a mission on anything involving guns, I go back, buy and even BIGGER gun, and bring them the pain <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink-fix.gif" />
<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

haha... reminds me of hitman... the shotgun, assault rifle, and smg have no purpose in the game other than taking frustration out on every living thing in the mission...

NEO_Phyte

<a href="http://wiki.rpg.net/index.php/1001_and_more_Things_that_the_worst_party_in_Eberron_is_forbidden_from_doing" target="_blank">1001+ Things that the worst party in Eberron is forbidden from doing</a> is better.

pardzh

17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.

That was my favorite.

semipsychotic

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->"Trust me." Don't.
"I have a plan." It wont work.
"This should work." No, it shouldn't.
"We can take them." No, you can't.

"Trust me, I have a plan. This should work, I think we can take them." Roll up a new character.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

SkulkBait

503. Dwarves do not get Beard Cancer.

I think I pulled something with that one.