Write a Divorce Paper!

ZeroByteZeroByte Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 3057Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">Valentine's day retardedness</div>Alright, so its V-day right about now and some people at my school have put up a *gag* "Marriage Booth". To counter this rather sick idea I want to set up a divorce booth across theirs. However its 3 am right now and I'm too tired to write a funny divorce paper for the divorcees to sign, besides which my sense of humour is not very good. I need your help on this! The basic format that I've come up with is this:

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->CONTRACT OF DIVORCE

I <name> hereby declare the dissolution of my marriage to <name of partner> on February 14th 2007 for reasons of:

[ ] <option>

The following are conditions for the dissolution of this marriage:

[ ] <option>

Upon dissolution of marriage:

[ ] <option><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

I'm not really bitter about not having anyone on valentines day, I just find the idea of the marriage booth rather retarded. If I can't draw up a funny enough contract by this morning, I'm calling it off. Contributions will be credited of course and I'll add a tinyurl link to the forum of the contract.
Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome

Comments

  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    edited February 2007
    CONTRACT OF DIVORCE

    We __________, __________(print) and _________, __________(print) hereby announce the dissolution of and annul all previous contracts of marriage between us this <u> 14th </u> of <u> February </u>, <u> 2007 </u>.


    Reason (check all that apply):
    [ ] Conflict (spouse)
    - Details: ___________________
    [ ] Conflict (relatives)
    - Details: ___________________
    [ ] Sex (spouse uncooperative)
    [ ] Sex (he can't get it up)
    [ ] Sex (she wants kids)
    [ ] Homosexual marriage has ruined our sanctity.


    We ____(initial) and ____(initial) hereby agree to the following:
    The first vehicle (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The second vehicle (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The third vehicle (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The house (or place of residence) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The gambling debt goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The first child (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The second child (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The third child (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The fourth child (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The other item (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The other item (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The other item (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The other item (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her
    The other item (__________) goes to: [ ] Him [ ] Her


    We ____(initial) and ____(initial) hereby also agree to the following:
    I _________(print) ____(initial) hereby agree to give my spouse the amount of $______.___ per [ ] Week [ ] Month [ ] Year in child support.
    I _________(print) ____(initial) hereby agree to give my spouse the amount of $______.___ per [ ] Week [ ] Month [ ] Year in child support.


    Initial here: ______ if you would like to file for a restraining order against __________, __________(print).
    Initial here: ______ if you would like to file for a restraining order against __________, __________(print).


    Signed:
    x_______________, this <u>14th</u> of <u>February</u> of the year <u>2007</u> and
    x_______________, this <u>14th</u> of <u>February</u> of the year <u>2007</u>
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • RustySpoonRustySpoon Join Date: 2003-07-10 Member: 18069Members
    What if it's a ###### couple? You're not a homophobe, BM, I hope?
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    I wholeheartedly approve of this thread.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    I hope one of your parents file for divorce tomorrow so you can see how unfunny this thread becomes <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1606175:date=Feb 13 2007, 02:34 PM:name=RustySpoon)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(RustySpoon @ Feb 13 2007, 02:34 PM) [snapback]1606175[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    What if it's a ###### couple? You're not a homophobe, BM, I hope?
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    [X] Homosexual marriage has ruined our sanctity.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • AbraAbra Would you kindly Join Date: 2003-08-17 Member: 19870Members
    What, you have anything against homophobes? Are you a homophobephobe?

    <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    Here The Black_Mage, have a trophy!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • RoverRover blargh Join Date: 2003-09-23 Member: 21139Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1606196:date=Feb 13 2007, 10:23 PM:name=Black_Mage)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Black_Mage @ Feb 13 2007, 10:23 PM) [snapback]1606196[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    [X] Homosexual marriage has ruined our sanctity.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    [X] I didn't know the other guy was homosexual.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1606193:date=Feb 14 2007, 08:18 AM:name=Thaldarin)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Thaldarin @ Feb 14 2007, 08:18 AM) [snapback]1606193[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    I hope one of your parents file for divorce tomorrow so you can see how unfunny this thread becomes <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    My parents are filing for divorce, it's still funny.. or would be, if he had done it humorously and not bitterly. Stop being such a woman.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • Speed_2_DaveSpeed_2_Dave Join Date: 2002-11-15 Member: 8788Members
    [X] The Hourly shots weren't nearly as effective as I thought, and there isn't enough _______ (Poison of Choice) in the world.


    /simpsons reference for the first half.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    rover and speed:
    [ ] Conflict (spouse)
    - Details: ___________________
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • MantridMantrid Lockpick Join Date: 2003-12-07 Member: 24109Members
    Singles Awareness Day brings out the best in everyone!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • RoverRover blargh Join Date: 2003-09-23 Member: 21139Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1606167:date=Feb 13 2007, 08:51 PM:name=Black_Mage)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Black_Mage @ Feb 13 2007, 08:51 PM) [snapback]1606167[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    [ ] Sex (spouse uncooperative)
    [ ] Sex (he can't get it up)
    [ ] Sex (she wants kids)
    [ ] Homosexual marriage has ruined our sanctity.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    [ ] Sex (gender)
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BlooBloo Village Fool of UWF Join Date: 2006-11-09 Member: 58497Members
    edited February 2007
    <!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->[X] Homosexual marriage has ruined our sanctity.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <3

    Imagine growing up with two dads. (Homosexual Adoption. May god forbid... no, wait. He already did)

    <!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->What, you have anything against homophobes? Are you a homophobephobe?<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    That one i will remember for the rest om my life. May i pleeeeaaase put it in my sign?


    [X] This tread made my day.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • SloppyKissesSloppyKisses omgawd a furreh&#33; Virginia Join Date: 2003-07-05 Member: 17942Members, Constellation
    I wish i had a ###### mom, that would be hawt. zomg wheres your dad!?! You mean my other mom? WHAT!?!? yeah shes a ######.....
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1606338:date=Feb 14 2007, 04:25 AM:name=emperor_awesome)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(emperor_awesome @ Feb 14 2007, 04:25 AM) [snapback]1606338[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    My parents are filing for divorce, it's still funny.. or would be, if he had done it humorously and not bitterly. Stop being such a woman.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    You really do miss the point of sarcasm, I didn't believe what guys in IRC said until now but you really are the forums biggest asshat at the moment.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1606414:date=Feb 14 2007, 09:51 AM:name=Bloo)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bloo @ Feb 14 2007, 09:51 AM) [snapback]1606414[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    <3

    Imagine growing up with two dads. (Homosexual Adoption. May god forbid... no, wait. He already did)[...]<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Are you freakin' KIDDING? That'd be great! You could win ALL the playground arguments!

    Other kid: "My dad could beat up your dad!"

    You: "Yeah but meanwhile my other dad would sneak up from behind and put YOUR dad in a limp-wristed chokehold and then my other dad would get back up and kick YOUR dad in the nuts repeatedly!"

    *other kid runs away crying*
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • Lt_PatchLt_Patch Join Date: 2005-02-07 Member: 40286Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1606497:date=Feb 14 2007, 02:42 PM:name=lolfighter)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(lolfighter @ Feb 14 2007, 02:42 PM) [snapback]1606497[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Are you freakin' KIDDING? That'd be great! You could win ALL the playground arguments!

    Other kid: "My dad could beat up your dad!"

    You: "Yeah but meanwhile my other dad would sneak up from behind and put YOUR dad in a limp-wristed chokehold and then my other dad would get back up and kick YOUR dad in the nuts repeatedly!"

    *other kid runs away crying*
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    WIN!
    Here's to the end of playground arguments... Homosexual adoption!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • RoverRover blargh Join Date: 2003-09-23 Member: 21139Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1606507:date=Feb 14 2007, 04:06 PM:name=Lt_Patch)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Lt_Patch @ Feb 14 2007, 04:06 PM) [snapback]1606507[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    WIN!
    Here's to the end of playground arguments... Homosexual adoption!
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Beat up other dads, enlist now to become homosexual!
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • Femme_FataleFemme_Fatale Join Date: 2005-06-21 Member: 54310Members, Constellation
    whaat?
    valentines day
    pffft
    just a cheap excuse (well not for some,it can probably become quite expensive)
    to get laid


    can i get a meanwhile!
    ..

    whatever X_x
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • AbraAbra Would you kindly Join Date: 2003-08-17 Member: 19870Members
    edited February 2007
    <!--quoteo(post=1606414:date=Feb 14 2007, 09:51 AM:name=Bloo)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bloo @ Feb 14 2007, 09:51 AM) [snapback]1606414[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    <3

    Imagine growing up with two dads. (Homosexual Adoption. May god forbid... no, wait. He already did)

    <!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->What, you have anything against homophobes? Are you a homophobephobe?<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    That one i will remember for the rest om my life. May i pleeeeaaase put it in my sign?
    [X] This tread made my day.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Iam highly quoteable. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile-fix.gif" />
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BlooBloo Village Fool of UWF Join Date: 2006-11-09 Member: 58497Members
    Thank you Abra ^^
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BlooBloo Village Fool of UWF Join Date: 2006-11-09 Member: 58497Members
    Valentines day is Commercialism! Americas way of tainting our people, brainwashing them to believe that the American run government means us no harm. That they are here to help. NO we my brothers and sisters, WE must fight the filthy Americans and cleanse them from our land!


    Femme:

    I guess you won't be needing that 1000 $ Red, diamond embraced Silk dress i bought for you then. eh ; )

    Nor the heart shaped box. filled with chocolates of the best quality?

    Guess I will just have to Wear the dress and eat the chocolate myself...
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • RoverRover blargh Join Date: 2003-09-23 Member: 21139Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1606561:date=Feb 14 2007, 06:55 PM:name=Bloo)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Bloo @ Feb 14 2007, 06:55 PM) [snapback]1606561[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Valentines day is Commercialism! Americas way of tainting our people, brainwashing them to believe that the American run government means us no harm. That they are here to help. NO we my brothers and sisters, WE must fight the filthy Americans and cleanse them from our land!
    Femme:

    I guess you won't be needing that 1000 $ Red, diamond embraced Silk dress i bought for you then. eh ; )

    Nor the heart shaped box. filled with chocolates of the best quality?

    Guess I will just have to Wear the dress and eat the chocolate myself...
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Pictures please.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • AbraAbra Would you kindly Join Date: 2003-08-17 Member: 19870Members
    of bloo in the dress, or the choclate?
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • BlooBloo Village Fool of UWF Join Date: 2006-11-09 Member: 58497Members
    The dress stupid...
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
  • hoilahoila usa Join Date: 2016-08-27 Member: 221771Members
    I think divorce paper writing is not an easy task but if you have knowledge of writing an essay you can write any paper. Just you need to have knowledge about writing. However I recommend to order custom papers aussie that can solve the divorce paper matter easily.
    Off Topic Disagree Agree Awesome
This discussion has been closed.