The end of the world.

TheSaviorTheSavior Join Date: 2003-10-14 Member: 21688Members
edited March 2007 in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">Irony!</div>So, I'm pretty much assured that the world's gonna end somehow, but I've come up with the perfect ending that embodies the sheer irony of mankind's existence.

I believe a foreign celestial rogue object will, of course, be the end of us. An asteroid, comet, Captain Picard, etc.

However, mankind's end can't be THAT freaking simple. We can't have an asteroid plummet into the Indian ocean, flooding the entire Asian and African continents, and the resulting fallout blotting out the sun leaving those less fortunate souls who didn't die immediately at the hands of a 1,500 foot tall wave of whale-sperm infested waters to die a slow, painful death of starvation as life wanes away under the coming darkness.

No, no, no. We can't have something so simple. Plus, that'd just suck for those who have to starve to death. I prefer my apocalypse scenarios to be quicker... with more irony.

Rather, mankind is going to see the celestial body flying towards us at a zillion miles per hour from somewhere just outside the edges of our Solar System. We are then going to design and implement a team of men and women to planet a device on the celestial body which will detonate on it's surface, deflecting it away from Earth's trajectory.

NASA and the World Leader's, who have banded together in combating this crisis, will overlook one less-than-minor detail.

Our moon.

The celestial body will be successfully deflected away from Earth's trajectory straight into the Moon's trajectory. The ensuing impact will then drive the moon into Earth, splitting earth in half, killing everyone.

Anyone else got any interesting, hopefully ironic, theories on Earth's impending doom?

Edit : This is my first topic created since the forums died many years ago. :x
«1

Comments

  • TyrainTyrain Join Date: 2003-01-03 Member: 11746Members
    That is just wrong.

    Srsly , we all know it, we'll die of lung cancer anyway.
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    I figure that if I made a flywheel / compulsator setup that was large enough, I could have enough stored energy to split the earth in half. 1 ton titanium rim-weighted flywheel spinning at 300,000 RPM holds an un-imaginable amount of kinetic energy. Just convert that into electrical and you've got yourself something.

    Or make a time machine!
  • waterbusterwaterbuster Join Date: 2006-12-17 Member: 59117Members
    God will kill us.



    And then the christians will eat lamb.
  • MerkabaMerkaba Digital Harmony Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 22Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester
    If the moon does fly into the earth, I hope it lands on england. Or, wherever I happen to be. How freakin cool would it be to see the MOON coming toward you? Cooler than Zelda: Majora's Mask anyway.
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612820:date=Mar 8 2007, 11:02 PM:name=Merkaba)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Merkaba @ Mar 8 2007, 11:02 PM) [snapback]1612820[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    If the moon does fly into the earth, I hope it lands on england. Or, wherever I happen to be. How freakin cool would it be to see the MOON coming toward you? Cooler than Zelda: Majora's Mask anyway.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Ask Chewbacca.
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612821:date=Mar 8 2007, 08:03 PM:name=Xyth)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Xyth @ Mar 8 2007, 08:03 PM) [snapback]1612821[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Ask Chewbacca.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Low blow.

    If the world ends any time soon, it's going to be our fault, not some magical celestial body or Captain Picard, who would never do anything to harm us (Locutus is another matter but whatever). If we don't completely destroy the environment, we'll probably end up skipping the middleman and killing each other.
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    I can't remember where I read it but it mentioned that to create "Nuclear winter" it would only take 12 nuclear weapons. Assuming each one lands on a major city. This is because after the nuclear weapon goes off, the burning city itself releases something in the ball-park of 1000 times the energy of the blast over the next 3 days of fire. It's the ash from these fires that would cloud out the sun.

    The great part is: You can find way more then 12 cities of suitable size in the middle-east. There really wouldn't be crap anybody could do about it either if they decided just to blow themselves up.

    Fun fact: When a nuke goes off the very pavement on the streets catch on fire.
  • LofungLofung Join Date: 2004-08-21 Member: 30757Members
    microsoft will save the day
  • ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet&#33; Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612813:date=Mar 8 2007, 07:53 PM:name=TheSavior)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TheSavior @ Mar 8 2007, 07:53 PM) [snapback]1612813[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Rather, mankind is going to see the celestial body flying towards us at a zillion miles per hour from somewhere just outside the edges of our Solar System. We are then going to design and implement a team of men and women to <b>planet a device on the celestial body which will detonate on it's surface, deflecting it away from Earth's trajectory.</b>
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Unfortunately for your apocalyptic fantasy, NASA seriously considered and shelved that idea many, many years ago. Whatever the method and explosive used, they could not rule out the possibility that the 'roid would simply fragment and several of its pieces would still hit the Earth and kaboom us all anyway.

    Instead, the current plan is to manufacture a very large spacecraft that can travel to meet the object, and exert a gravitational pull upon it that will drive it off course.

    In either case, you're really selling NASA short. That's interesting, because they're some of the most brilliant minds we've got. If you add up the mental capacity of everyone here in O/T, the sum would probably not match one of the (hundreds of) scientists that would be assigned to such an operation. We might forget the moon is there, but there's not a chance in hell that the whole team of NASA scientific analysts will overlook it.

    You can always dream, though.
  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Members
    Zombies would be the ultimate way of destroying all we know.
  • Shadow_SporkShadow_Spork Join Date: 2005-01-07 Member: 33306Members
    edited March 2007
    Well, unless our children comes up with amazing ways to deflect or destroy asteroids, chances are we are screwed by default. This solar system will go 5 billion years from now, and by that time, who knows what humanity is like by then, because there can be so much factors to a point where it's astronomical.

    Now to throw in an obligatory link relating to this topic...

    <a href="http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php" target="_blank">The End</a>
  • XythXyth Avatar Join Date: 2003-11-04 Member: 22312Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612835:date=Mar 8 2007, 11:56 PM:name=Shadow_Spork)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Shadow_Spork @ Mar 8 2007, 11:56 PM) [snapback]1612835[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Well, unless our children comes up with amazing ways to deflect or destroy asteroids, chances are we are screwed by default. This solar system will go 5 billion years from now, and by that time, who knows what humanity is like by then, because there can be so much factors to a point where it's astronomical.

    Now to throw in an obligatory link relating to this topic...

    <a href="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/06/endofworld.html" target="_blank">The End</a>
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Uggggh ebaumsworld ewwww.

    You couldn't link to any of the other 23456 places that host that?
  • TheSaviorTheSavior Join Date: 2003-10-14 Member: 21688Members
    edited March 2007
    <!--quoteo(post=1612828:date=Mar 9 2007, 12:30 AM:name=Zig)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Zig @ Mar 9 2007, 12:30 AM) [snapback]1612828[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->

    In either case, you're really selling NASA short. That's interesting, because they're some of the most brilliant minds we've got. If you add up the mental capacity of everyone here in O/T, the sum would probably not match one of the (hundreds of) scientists that would be assigned to such an operation. We might forget the moon is there, but there's not a chance in hell that the whole team of NASA scientific analysts will overlook it.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->


    I'm not selling NASA short. They put Space Camp in Alabama. I know, I attended it for 4 years straight. >_>

    Who puts something that advanced in a place so backwards? (Then again, I'm 12 miles from the MS/AL state line, but on the MS side)

    God I cried inside when they dismantled the centrifuge.

    Also, I was responsible for the complete destruction of our crew by releasing the solid fuel boosters 1 minute 19 seconds early one year. That was great. >_>

    I miss it all, but theres one thing I miss above everything else.

    Dippin' dots. EVERYWHERE.

    Also, you sell O/T short. We'se a brilliant bunch we sure is. Uh-hyuk.
  • GreyFlcnGreyFlcn Join Date: 2006-12-19 Member: 59134Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1612827:date=Mar 9 2007, 04:23 AM:name=Lofung)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Lofung @ Mar 9 2007, 04:23 AM) [snapback]1612827[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    microsoft will save the day
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    With Microsoft <i>Matrix</i>
    The only OS which requires you to drill a hole in your skull <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />
  • UltimaGeckoUltimaGecko hates endnotes Join Date: 2003-05-14 Member: 16320Members
    If we don't get an awesome zombie apocalypse I will incite it - somehow.


    If it's <i>still </i> out of the question, well, I figure a red giant sun will incinerate humanity and Earth nicely. The problem is, is that it's very unlikely that we'd be able to permanently de-life Earth; heck, it may even be nearly impossible to kill every human on Earth. A 5.9742 × 10^24kg object is something very difficult to destroy.

    I think irony would be if England or France nuked wherever President Bush was - guess who found the WMDs!

    (...maybe that's too personal-oriented)




    ...I'd also love to see a source for this 12 cities theory, since...well, there was tons and tons of destruction in WW2 (including two (weakly) nuked cities), and I don't recall a very dramatic climate change in the late 40s and 50s).
  • MantridMantrid Lockpick Join Date: 2003-12-07 Member: 24109Members
    As weird as it sounds, I almost sort of hope for the end. Not of everybody, I would want to survive, and rebuild. I picture my post-apcolyptic world as part Mad Max, part Fallout, part Jericho, and part Deadwood. I always thought that civilization after the end would be like the Old West. Wild, lawless, with lots of new territory to explore and tame, and many different business opportunities.
  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    While crashing the moon into the earth would indeed mean a quick, fiery death for everyone (and even those who survived would die anyway - the moon is rather vital to our survival), it wouldn't be enough to destroy the planet. Oh, it'd to a hell of a lot of damage and leave a permanent scar, but it wouldn't destroy the planet in all likelihood. We need a much bigger object than that. Mars could do the trick, but it'd have to move at very high speeds.
  • CplDavisCplDavis I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
    Quick end of the <a href="http://www.nerf-herders-anonymous.net/DeathStar.gif" target="_blank">World?</a>

    gg <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/marine.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="::marine::" border="0" alt="marine.gif" />
  • SloppyKissesSloppyKisses omgawd a furreh&#33; Virginia Join Date: 2003-07-05 Member: 17942Members, Constellation
    edited March 2007
    WTH screw the roids, blow the sun up then we will all die of -9999999999999999999999999999999999999999F temps.

    thats a gg

    actually if the sun blew up we wouldnt freeze our entire solar system would collapse and be engulped by the hugeeee explosion of the sun and kabooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom
  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    I hear sanity is going to be all the rage in a few months' time.
  • AbraAbra Would you kindly Join Date: 2003-08-17 Member: 19870Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1612825:date=Mar 9 2007, 05:12 AM:name=Xyth)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Xyth @ Mar 9 2007, 05:12 AM) [snapback]1612825[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->

    The great part is: You can find way more then 12 cities of suitable size in the middle-east. There really wouldn't be crap anybody could do about it either if they decided just to blow themselves up.

    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    The whole middle east is "they"?
  • CplDavisCplDavis I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
    <!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--> QUOTE(Xyth @ Mar 9 2007, 05:12 AM) *
    The great part is: You can find way more then 12 cities of suitable size in the middle-east. There really wouldn't be crap anybody could do about it either if they decided just to blow themselves up.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->


    <!--quoteo(post=1613023:date=Mar 9 2007, 01:31 PM:name=Abra)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Abra @ Mar 9 2007, 01:31 PM) [snapback]1613023[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    The whole middle east is "they"?
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Well I suppose he could have stated "The great part is: You can find way more then 12 cities of suitable size in the middle-east. There really wouldn't be crap anybody could do about it either if Afganistan, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bahrain, Georgia, Israel, Iraq, Iran, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Oman, Qutar, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Turkey, the United Arab Emirates, and Yemen decided just to blow themselves up."

    i think he used "they" to refer to the whole region..... <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=";)" border="0" alt="wink-fix.gif" />

    of course though only Israel is the only one to officialy have nukes so i dont see Xyths scenario happening. Unless Israel is invaded. And I have a good idea based off of what Israeli leaders have said in the past they they would indeed use their nukes as well if they really felt the need too.
  • arcticaarctica Shindiggery innit Join Date: 2005-02-18 Member: 41646Members
    Dippin' Dots!

    Houston is Dippin' Dot city <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin-fix.gif" />
  • Kouji_SanKouji_San Sr. Hινε Uρкεερεг - EUPT Deputy The Netherlands Join Date: 2003-05-13 Member: 16271Members, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    I vote for a black hole entering our system...
  • PulsePulse To create, to create and escape. Join Date: 2002-08-29 Member: 1248Members, Constellation
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a <a href="http://ualuealuealeuale.ytmnd.com/" target="_blank">ualuealuealeuale</a>.
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    <!--quoteo(post=1612813:date=Mar 9 2007, 03:53 AM:name=TheSavior)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TheSavior @ Mar 9 2007, 03:53 AM) [snapback]1612813[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Anyone else got any interesting, hopefully ironic, theories on Earth's impending doom?

    Edit : This is my first topic created since the forums died many years ago. :x
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Well firstly after reading the first post I can see why you haven't created any topics since the forums first come back online, you chat crap <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />

    Secondly I think god will smite us all and the Earth will just explode. The irony? Religion loses.
  • TheSaviorTheSavior Join Date: 2003-10-14 Member: 21688Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1613086:date=Mar 9 2007, 05:23 PM:name=Thaldarin)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Thaldarin @ Mar 9 2007, 05:23 PM) [snapback]1613086[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Well firstly after reading the first post I can see why you haven't created any topics since the forums first come back online, you chat crap <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />

    Secondly I think god will smite us all and the Earth will just explode. The irony? Religion loses.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->


    Yus, my threads are usually long-winded and utterly pointless/and or stupid.


    But they pass the time... Also - 2 pages! this might even get to 3! One of my better posts, apparently.
  • lolfighterlolfighter Snark, Dire Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15693Members
    Most likely end of the earth? Same as the rest of the universe. There's a good chance that it'll survive Sol's death, in which case it'll just continue to orbit the slowly cooling remains of our star until the universe itself comes to whatever end it comes to. The likelihood of anyone demolishing it is remote.
  • MantridMantrid Lockpick Join Date: 2003-12-07 Member: 24109Members
    <!--quoteo(post=1613134:date=Mar 9 2007, 04:48 PM:name=lolfighter)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(lolfighter @ Mar 9 2007, 04:48 PM) [snapback]1613134[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
    Most likely end of the earth? Same as the rest of the universe. There's a good chance that it'll survive Sol's death, in which case it'll just continue to orbit the slowly cooling remains of our star until the universe itself comes to whatever end it comes to. The likelihood of anyone demolishing it is remote.
    <!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Especially since we can complain about any possible demolition at our local planning office in Alpha Centauri.
  • GwahirGwahir Join Date: 2002-04-24 Member: 513Members, Constellation
    a large solar flare will destroy Earth's magnetic field and normal solar radiation will kill all life on the planet. Except certain backteria like the kind that grows on nuclear reactor rods.
Sign In or Register to comment.