Unknown enemy: the sector 12 conflict

RobRob Unknown Enemy Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 25Members, NS1 Playtester
<div class="IPBDescription">One more trip back down memory lane</div>I'm utterly pleased to present, in cooperation with Tzarcon, the complete, two part story of the Sector 12 Conflict.  This is where Wilcox got the name "Romeo."

<a href="http://members.fortunecity.com/rob6264" target="_blank">Read it here</a>

Whatcha think?



<!--EDIT|rob6264|April 14 2002,16:25-->

Comments

  • XTS_HighlanderXTS_Highlander Join Date: 2002-04-13 Member: 429Members
    Hey rob, real great, you're definately a talented story teller with a vivid sense of mood and conflict.  But I still don't understand one thing:  how does Wilcox get named Romeo?  All of sudden one of his squadmates calls him it...
  • RobRob Unknown Enemy Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 25Members, NS1 Playtester
    His mission call sign is Alpha-Romeo.
  • Spyder_MonkeySpyder_Monkey Vampire-Ninja-Monkey Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 8Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Grr... our firewall scripts prohibit me from viewing this site... "explicitly forbidden, reason: chat". <!--emo&:(--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':('><!--endemo-->  I'll have to wait 'til I get some free time at home to read it.
  • JedisarJedisar Join Date: 2002-03-03 Member: 264Awaiting Authorization
    How ironic..it considers it chat, but not the forums! <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->
  • RobRob Unknown Enemy Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 25Members, NS1 Playtester
    Bah, well that's depressing...I thought someone actually read it <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->
  • XTS_HighlanderXTS_Highlander Join Date: 2002-04-13 Member: 429Members
    Ahh ok thanks rob, I must have missed that particular element in the story.  Perhaps you could make it a bit more obvious so morons like myself don't miss it and make fools of ourselves on the forums?  lol thanks.
  • SlycasterSlycaster Limited Edition Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 24Members, NS1 Playtester
    Very nice rob, your story is incredible, screenplay quality, really. <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->
  • HellockeHellocke Join Date: 2002-04-13 Member: 432Members
    Most excellent story, Rob. Being the critical little 14 year old I am... (Yeah, I know, this is where I SHOULD shut up...)
    But, try and draw some of the parts out. Like when they're sniping that VIP... And also, as  Highlander said, maybe add the name Romeo in more. Other than that... Jeez, that's good.
  • Spyder_MonkeySpyder_Monkey Vampire-Ninja-Monkey Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 8Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Again, very good job ther Robbie. ***Spoiler***<span style='color:"222222"'>I got a chill when the TSA marines were almost being over-run by the USS, when I read that a phase gate opened up, I breathed a sigh of relief.</span> Way to keep me on the edge of my seat. <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->



    <!--EDIT|Spyder Monkey|April 16 2002,07:33-->
  • RobRob Unknown Enemy Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 25Members, NS1 Playtester
    Thanks everyone.
    Hellocke, thanks for the comments.  I see where you're coming from, but I don't like to change previous chapters.  That said, I will do my best to take your suggestions into account when writing Chapter 7, which is what's coming next.

    I love constructive critisim, and that's a good example of it, thanks again.
  • Spyder_MonkeySpyder_Monkey Vampire-Ninja-Monkey Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 8Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Good friggin' God. Note that color code "222222" is the exact color of the gray background. It took me 15 minutes to find that. Playing around with an HTML color generator, then finally wising up and reading the page's source code. /me is pathetic.

    edit** Bah, 2 seconds too late, why does this always happen to me?



    <!--EDIT|Spyder Monkey|April 16 2002,07:35-->
  • RobRob Unknown Enemy Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 25Members, NS1 Playtester
    <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->  It's okay Spyder...we all have our dumb moments.
  • GreedoGreedo Bounty Hunter Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 37Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    I told you I'd read it when I was good and ready.  (At least you have other people commenting on your story.)  <!--emo&:p--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':p'><!--endemo-->

    So, yeah, this was good.  I really, really liked the bit near the end where <span style='color:222222'>Warren made his emotional, inspiring speech</span>.

    Give us Chapter 7 soon.
  • TzarconTzarcon Join Date: 2002-02-28 Member: 259Members
    Well, excellent job rob, As I would expect from you. The story was excellent, well written, but I don't think it sparked for me, probably because I already knew what was going to happen <!--emo&:p--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':p'><!--endemo-->

    I'll have to talk to you about some character stuff though
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