The Kharaa Springer Show!
bren
Join Date: 2002-11-06 Member: 7276Members
Join Date: 2002-11-06 Member: 7276Members
"Well, hello everyone and welcome to another edition of the Kharaa
Springer show!"
[Wild applause which sounds squishy with assorted tentacles and
appendages]
"Well, today we have a ripper of a show, it's called 'My slimeball
ain't treatin me right and boy do I have a secret for him!'. So lets
welcome our guest, this is Chantal!"
[Wild applause which sounds squishy with assorted tentacles and
appendages.]
"Hey Chantal, how are you doin?"
"I ain't doin' too good Kharaa, my man ain't been treatin me right!"
[Boos all around]
"What's gone wrong?"
"Well, when we first met, he was all about me. He'd be skulking about
my house all night serenading me and everything. It was very
romantic. So we got married and for a while things were fine, but then
his interest in me seemed to fade and now he just doesn't seem to want
to be with me at all!"
"Well, sounds like things have gone badly wrong there Chantal, lets
bring out your man, Elmore!"
[Boos and applause and one high pitched squeal]
"Hey there Kharaa!"
"Hey Elmore, so, we've been talking to Chantal here and she isn't too
happy with the way you've been treating her lately?"
"Whu? Whut's she been sayin?"
"Well, she thinks you just don't fancy her anymore."
"Fancy her, man take a look at her, she must be 250lbs! She gone and
got all fat and ugly!"
[boos and two high pitched squeals]
"Oh Kharaa, you see how he treats me now! I ain't fat, I'm still all
that Elmore, and look at you, you must be twice my size, I think the
onus is on you to git yourself sorted."
"Girl, you just be sitting around the place all day long gorging yourself,
using up my hard earned resources!"
"Why you pig! I cook for you, I clean for you, I build defensive
turrets for you, and what do you do for me? You do nuthin except hang
around dark corners with your buddies!"
"I work woman! I put the damn humans on the damn table!"
"Talk to the tentacle, cos the head aint listening! You haven't worked
in a long time, especially in the bedroom!"
[Whoots and catcalls]
"Don't you be saying that! I just don't want to be wasting my
adrenaline on your whale's ****!"
"Hey hey hey, lighten up there Elmore for a second. Chantal has
brought you here for a reason. She has something to tell you, don't
you Chantal."
"I sure do Kharaa, Elmore, you been ignoring me for too long. While
you is out there plodding around the place, I've been getting it on
with someone else!"
[OOH! Whoot!!]
"Whu? Whut the hell you sayin? You been with some slimeball behind my
back? Why you...!!"
[Bouncers intervene to prevent physical assault]
"I SURE HAVE!! I BEEN GETTIN IT REAL GOOD ELMORE!!"
"WITH WHO!! IS IT THAT DAMN SKULK LEROY??"
"Not exactly Elmore, Chantal, tell him."
"I been with Tanya!!"
"TANYA?? My hive-sister Tanya?? How could you two fat gorges do this
to me??"
"That ain't all Elmore, there's something else...I used to be a MAN!!"
[Pandemonium]
"WHU? *choke* A man?? What you sayin? You trippin??"
"No Elmore, I used to be a man and I underwent a complete genetic
rewriting operation cos I always knew I was a gorge inside!"
"I can't believe it! I'm gonna kill you!!"
[Bouncers restrain again and Kharaa moves to the side]
"Well folks, there you have it. Well, what have we learned this week?
Well, you better pay attention to your gorge-ous womenfolk boys, or
the whole damn hive may come tumbling down. And also, perhaps that
maybe there is a little human inside all of us and not just the bits
we had for dinner."
bren
Springer show!"
[Wild applause which sounds squishy with assorted tentacles and
appendages]
"Well, today we have a ripper of a show, it's called 'My slimeball
ain't treatin me right and boy do I have a secret for him!'. So lets
welcome our guest, this is Chantal!"
[Wild applause which sounds squishy with assorted tentacles and
appendages.]
"Hey Chantal, how are you doin?"
"I ain't doin' too good Kharaa, my man ain't been treatin me right!"
[Boos all around]
"What's gone wrong?"
"Well, when we first met, he was all about me. He'd be skulking about
my house all night serenading me and everything. It was very
romantic. So we got married and for a while things were fine, but then
his interest in me seemed to fade and now he just doesn't seem to want
to be with me at all!"
"Well, sounds like things have gone badly wrong there Chantal, lets
bring out your man, Elmore!"
[Boos and applause and one high pitched squeal]
"Hey there Kharaa!"
"Hey Elmore, so, we've been talking to Chantal here and she isn't too
happy with the way you've been treating her lately?"
"Whu? Whut's she been sayin?"
"Well, she thinks you just don't fancy her anymore."
"Fancy her, man take a look at her, she must be 250lbs! She gone and
got all fat and ugly!"
[boos and two high pitched squeals]
"Oh Kharaa, you see how he treats me now! I ain't fat, I'm still all
that Elmore, and look at you, you must be twice my size, I think the
onus is on you to git yourself sorted."
"Girl, you just be sitting around the place all day long gorging yourself,
using up my hard earned resources!"
"Why you pig! I cook for you, I clean for you, I build defensive
turrets for you, and what do you do for me? You do nuthin except hang
around dark corners with your buddies!"
"I work woman! I put the damn humans on the damn table!"
"Talk to the tentacle, cos the head aint listening! You haven't worked
in a long time, especially in the bedroom!"
[Whoots and catcalls]
"Don't you be saying that! I just don't want to be wasting my
adrenaline on your whale's ****!"
"Hey hey hey, lighten up there Elmore for a second. Chantal has
brought you here for a reason. She has something to tell you, don't
you Chantal."
"I sure do Kharaa, Elmore, you been ignoring me for too long. While
you is out there plodding around the place, I've been getting it on
with someone else!"
[OOH! Whoot!!]
"Whu? Whut the hell you sayin? You been with some slimeball behind my
back? Why you...!!"
[Bouncers intervene to prevent physical assault]
"I SURE HAVE!! I BEEN GETTIN IT REAL GOOD ELMORE!!"
"WITH WHO!! IS IT THAT DAMN SKULK LEROY??"
"Not exactly Elmore, Chantal, tell him."
"I been with Tanya!!"
"TANYA?? My hive-sister Tanya?? How could you two fat gorges do this
to me??"
"That ain't all Elmore, there's something else...I used to be a MAN!!"
[Pandemonium]
"WHU? *choke* A man?? What you sayin? You trippin??"
"No Elmore, I used to be a man and I underwent a complete genetic
rewriting operation cos I always knew I was a gorge inside!"
"I can't believe it! I'm gonna kill you!!"
[Bouncers restrain again and Kharaa moves to the side]
"Well folks, there you have it. Well, what have we learned this week?
Well, you better pay attention to your gorge-ous womenfolk boys, or
the whole damn hive may come tumbling down. And also, perhaps that
maybe there is a little human inside all of us and not just the bits
we had for dinner."
bren
Comments
using up my hard earned resources!"<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Lmao, and the one about hanging in dark areas with buddys.. Hahaha