Teamwork is essential it gives the enemy someone else to chomp at <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
Marines hiding in ambush or crucial locations whose position must remain a secret are soon to become aquainted with the ever-loving "Guy who likes to jump around and slash the knife in the air for no apparent reason".
The siege is always facing the wrong direction.
Skulks never manage to parasite you unless you happen to have 8 health.
Going lerk will immediately prompt everyone else to do the same. Including the gorge.
You only get welded when you aren't damaged.
Running out of HMG ammo and calling for ammo packs will always result in the commander dropping ammo directly ontop of you.... while you have your pistol readied.
Resource towers can never be mined unless there is no more physical wallspace left in the marine start to lay mines.
Killing the opposing team in anything resembling an effective manner will result in an admin_vote_kick (*waves at V-MAN*)
The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you have four buddies with HA and HMG's. When you're on your own in light armor with an LMG.
If your teammate get's the HMG, you'll die. If you get the HMG, you'll die. If the enemy get's the HMG, you'll die. The clanking is never a foot-step- it's a grenade with .5 seconds left on it's fuse. The "small force" attacking hive will always have at least five players with the firepower of a small planet. If you go through the phase gate alone, you die. If you go through as a team, you <i>all</i> die. If you weld the damaged building, a skulk will bite your face off. If you don't, the skulk will pulverise the building, and then proceed to tear you a new arse with a few of it's buddies. The man with a pistol <i>never</i> seems to miss. If you have the pistol, you'll never hit. You only have backup when there's a single skulk or OC to take down. You go in alone when there's the mother of all walls with Fade support. The combat sounds <i>never</i> bode well. You'll only win if the enemy has even less knowledge of Murphy than your team.
When you jump throught a PG to defend an outpost, you have to cycle ALL the PGs to reach your destination You know you have reached your destination when a skulk eats you
When you're chomping a marine outpost with some teammates, all the turrets fire at you When a marine comes throught a PG, he kills you just before the other skulks eat him
You just evolved to onos and you get stuck in the first WoL you try to jump All ways to marine base are blocked by HUGE WoLs When you eventually reach the base, the only building left is the arms lab and the last marine is hiding in a very tight spot
You always hear "The hive is under attack" when you're at the other side of the map If you run to the attacked hive, your teammates will kill the marines just before you get there If you don't run, marines kill the hive
marine will kill you just a split second before you finish evolving to onos the alien egg you are shooting evolves to onos and tramples you
The enemy always does more damage to you than you do to them.
When you've spent ages saving up to go Fade you will get stuck the first time you blink.
No matter how many resources you have coming in, you will always get shouted at for going gorge.
Whenever your team is losing, someone will always kindly explain how it's everyone else's fault but his as you're all clueless newbies.
The enemy can always hear you coming.
There will always be a newbie gorge who uses the entire quota of webs on a single doorway.
What manual?
The server will crash just as you're about to win an awesome victory.
It is rumoured that commanders have the magical ability to provide "waypoints" and "medpacks", but there is little evidence to support such wild claims.
Whenever you're a marine, you'll never get level 1 armor until the Kharaa have two hives.
Whenever you're a skulk, the marines'll get level 1 armor as soon your gorge says his 2nd resource tower is done. (note to commanders out there. There is nothing more annoying for skulks than having to bite three times instead of two.) Whenever the gorge and the rest of your team have agreed to use movements first, a newbie inevitably drops a sensory.
If you think you have the double res secured with the four marines in there, all four will get chomped by two skulks.
Whenever you for a change convince the commander NOT to use the various map exploits(processing), you lose.
Whenever you play ns_hera, the enemy marines will rush and relocate to processing-while your hive is at ventilation.
That_Annoying_KidSire of TitlesJoin Date: 2003-03-01Member: 14175Members, Constellation
hell, all the quotes are great, keep up the good work "murphy will always appear when you don't want him to" thats the best I can do without breaking out google
be shot as a fade and watch your hp/armor drop in 2seconds flat
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->If you go on a parasite-induced suicide run, you're a magnet for new structures. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
good lord that is SO @#*@_#@# ANNOYING!!!!!!!!! comms ONLY drop the dang RT near you when yer parasited and AREN'T ASKING FOR IT! But sit there and ask for 10min straight and you get ignored *growl* <!--emo&:angry:--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/mad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='mad.gif'><!--endemo-->
Here are more murphy's laws: <a href='http://m-joke.8m.com/murphys.htm' target='_blank'>here</a>
"Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades." Close only counts in sieges and...sieges.
"The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flexmount, while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know your position." The ping you heard was the blip of a motion tracking sensor 6 inches above your position, while an ambush was being called in on a squad of marines who now know your position.
"How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?" How come you are the only one with a mic? Corollary: When you aren't the only one with the mic, invariably someone plays crappy music into the mic and renders voicecomm useless.
"The one item you need is always in short supply." The one GL you need is always 3 rps away.
"Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone." Sniper's motto: reach out and pistol script someone.
"Mines are equal opportunity weapons." Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
"The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue." The JP's <b>always</b> come to the rescue.
"Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way." HAs that must work together, won't do it that way.
"Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support." People will hump the armory as soon as you need fire support.
"There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole." There is no such thing as an atheist in a vent. First Corollary: (marines) A skulk will always ambush you from the rear in a vent and kill you. Second Corollary: (aliens) A marine will always be at the end of a long vent you just entered. Third Corollary: (aliens) Even if you reach the marine at the end of a long vent without taking damage, the marine will proceed to knife you to death without taking any damage. Fourth Corollary: (marines) Even though you're crouching in the vent to hide your hitbox and knifing like crazy, the skulk will invariably bite you to death without taking damage.
"If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike." If at first you don't succeed, rambo the hive and call in a siege.
"Recoilless rifles - aren't." Recoilless rifles have a huge flash animation that obscures half of your screen.
"A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping." A retreating skulk is probably already behind you.
"Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps." Combat will occur on the ground where the commander cannot drop anything due to a bug.
"Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you." Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, set r_drawviewmodel to 0.
"The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map." The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is a comm building outside the map.
"If you whine about the weather, someone else will always whine louder." If you whine about the JP/HMG rush, someone else will always whine louder.
TalesinOur own little well of hateJoin Date: 2002-11-08Member: 7710NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators
<!--QuoteBegin--Deacon+Mar 21 2003, 10:56 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Deacon @ Mar 21 2003, 10:56 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> If you ninja to an empty hive location, the commander will completely ignore you. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Heh heh... sounds like you've played with me in the CC. Only it's 'Rambo', not 'ninja'. And even if I can afford a PG, all that I can drop a rambo is a crisp parsley garnish.
The one person on your team who can aim is also the one person on your team who thinks he can Comm better than you, but refuses to get in the CC.
Comments
The siege is always facing the wrong direction.
Skulks never manage to parasite you unless you happen to have 8 health.
Going lerk will immediately prompt everyone else to do the same. Including the gorge.
You only get welded when you aren't damaged.
Running out of HMG ammo and calling for ammo packs will always result in the commander dropping ammo directly ontop of you.... while you have your pistol readied.
Resource towers can never be mined unless there is no more physical wallspace left in the marine start to lay mines.
Killing the opposing team in anything resembling an effective manner will result in an admin_vote_kick (*waves at V-MAN*)
When you have four buddies with HA and HMG's.
When you're on your own in light armor with an LMG.
If you get the HMG, you'll die.
If the enemy get's the HMG, you'll die.
The clanking is never a foot-step- it's a grenade with .5 seconds left on it's fuse.
The "small force" attacking hive will always have at least five players with the firepower of a small planet.
If you go through the phase gate alone, you die.
If you go through as a team, you <i>all</i> die.
If you weld the damaged building, a skulk will bite your face off.
If you don't, the skulk will pulverise the building, and then proceed to tear you a new arse with a few of it's buddies.
The man with a pistol <i>never</i> seems to miss.
If you have the pistol, you'll never hit.
You only have backup when there's a single skulk or OC to take down.
You go in alone when there's the mother of all walls with Fade support.
The combat sounds <i>never</i> bode well.
You'll only win if the enemy has even less knowledge of Murphy than your team.
Only the eggsac you decide to knife contains an Onos
You know you have reached your destination when a skulk eats you
When you're chomping a marine outpost with some teammates, all the turrets fire at you
When a marine comes throught a PG, he kills you just before the other skulks eat him
You just evolved to onos and you get stuck in the first WoL you try to jump
All ways to marine base are blocked by HUGE WoLs
When you eventually reach the base, the only building left is the arms lab and the last marine is hiding in a very tight spot
You always hear "The hive is under attack" when you're at the other side of the map
If you run to the attacked hive, your teammates will kill the marines just before you get there
If you don't run, marines kill the hive
marine will kill you just a split second before you finish evolving to onos
the alien egg you are shooting evolves to onos and tramples you
When you've spent ages saving up to go Fade you will get stuck the first time you blink.
No matter how many resources you have coming in, you will always get shouted at for going gorge.
Whenever your team is losing, someone will always kindly explain how it's everyone else's fault but his as you're all clueless newbies.
The enemy can always hear you coming.
There will always be a newbie gorge who uses the entire quota of webs on a single doorway.
What manual?
The server will crash just as you're about to win an awesome victory.
It is rumoured that commanders have the magical ability to provide "waypoints" and "medpacks", but there is little evidence to support such wild claims.
The unprotected command chair will be chomped.
The enemy is behind you.
Whenever you're a skulk, the marines'll get level 1 armor as soon your gorge says his 2nd resource tower is done.
(note to commanders out there. There is nothing more annoying for skulks than having to bite three times instead of two.)
Whenever the gorge and the rest of your team have agreed to use movements first, a newbie inevitably drops a sensory.
If you think you have the double res secured with the four marines in there, all four will get chomped by two skulks.
Whenever you for a change convince the commander NOT to use the various map exploits(processing), you lose.
Whenever you play ns_hera, the enemy marines will rush and relocate to processing-while your hive is at ventilation.
Just as you think you can turn a loss into a victory, the onos will arrive
the only 'rine not getting chomped is the one in your LOS
Whenever the comm actually drops the turret factory it will be when 4 skulks are finishing off your intestines.
Whenever the comm drops the turret factory on time while you have 4 backup units you will all get owned in the face by a lone skulk.
The comm always drops you medpacks when you don't really need them or request them.
You will never recieve ammo or medpacks if you ask.
all of the quotes on the first page are great
"murphy will always appear when you don't want him to"
thats the best I can do without breaking out google
If you place a TF you're screwed.
Just when get your crosshair to the fat back of the gorge he turns, webs you and healsprays you to death.
If you can walk more than 20 meters without getting ambushed by skulks you are screwed.
When you finally get that hmg and heavy armor you get mowed down by a lone skulk in one bite.
They always come when you are alone but never if you're in a group.
They always go for YOU.
If you are a marine the turrets won't hit an onos from 2 feet away.
If you are an alien the turrets kill you before you can even see them.
Just as you are about to evolve to an onos they start sieging the dc next to you.
The commander will always drop the resource tower (above) if you say "I hear a skulk - wait a minute".
always keep your gun on safety so in tournament mode, you don't kill your teammates
If you go on a parasite-induced suicide run, you're a magnet for new structures.
The first time you hear "your base is under attack" or "the enemy approaches," it means some lone enemy got lost near your base, and is now dead.
The three hundred and forty-third time you hear it, it means a massive assault force is powering though your defenses.
be shot as a fade and watch your hp/armor drop in 2seconds flat
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->If you go on a parasite-induced suicide run, you're a magnet for new structures.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
good lord that is SO @#*@_#@# ANNOYING!!!!!!!!! comms ONLY drop the dang RT near you when yer parasited and AREN'T ASKING FOR IT! But sit there and ask for 10min straight and you get ignored
*growl* <!--emo&:angry:--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/mad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='mad.gif'><!--endemo-->
<a href='http://m-joke.8m.com/murphys.htm' target='_blank'>here</a>
"Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades."
Close only counts in sieges and...sieges.
"The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flexmount, while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know your position."
The ping you heard was the blip of a motion tracking sensor 6 inches above your position, while an ambush was being called in on a squad of marines who now know your position.
"How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?"
How come you are the only one with a mic?
Corollary: When you aren't the only one with the mic, invariably someone plays crappy music into the mic and renders voicecomm useless.
"The one item you need is always in short supply."
The one GL you need is always 3 rps away.
"Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone."
Sniper's motto: reach out and pistol script someone.
"Mines are equal opportunity weapons."
Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
"The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue."
The JP's <b>always</b> come to the rescue.
"Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way."
HAs that must work together, won't do it that way.
"Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support."
People will hump the armory as soon as you need fire support.
"There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole."
There is no such thing as an atheist in a vent.
First Corollary: (marines) A skulk will always ambush you from the rear in a vent and kill you.
Second Corollary: (aliens) A marine will always be at the end of a long vent you just entered.
Third Corollary: (aliens) Even if you reach the marine at the end of a long vent without taking damage, the marine will proceed to knife you to death without taking any damage.
Fourth Corollary: (marines) Even though you're crouching in the vent to hide your hitbox and knifing like crazy, the skulk will invariably bite you to death without taking damage.
"If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike."
If at first you don't succeed, rambo the hive and call in a siege.
"Recoilless rifles - aren't."
Recoilless rifles have a huge flash animation that obscures half of your screen.
"A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping."
A retreating skulk is probably already behind you.
"Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps."
Combat will occur on the ground where the commander cannot drop anything due to a bug.
"Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you."
Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, set r_drawviewmodel to 0.
"The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map."
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is a comm building outside the map.
"If you whine about the weather, someone else will always whine louder."
If you whine about the JP/HMG rush, someone else will always whine louder.
-Cheers!
Heh heh... sounds like you've played with me in the CC. Only it's 'Rambo', not 'ninja'. And even if I can afford a PG, all that I can drop a rambo is a crisp parsley garnish.
The one person on your team who can aim is also the one person on your team who thinks he can Comm better than you, but refuses to get in the CC.