Se 5
That_Annoying_Kid
Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
<div class="IPBDescription">again another POV</div> <b>Re-edited version and I'm much happier with the way it turned out, comments, pointing out typos, etc are always appreciated <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->, tell me what you think</b>
Somehow he knew that he could build the nozzle he stood next to, he couldn?t have done it several minutes ago when he was moving up towards this location the hive had spoken of. He had encountered minor problems with getting the door that was behind him open, but that was solved by a glob of spit to one of the strange switches that was midway up the stairs. The door had hissed open and, allowing him to approach the bare gray nozzle. He had passed a threshold and concentrated on the organism that helped him convert the life giving sludge to a product that was useful to him and the rest of the brood. There was a squishing sound as he expelled the contents of his stomach and it immediately formed into the resource tower. It fell several feet to the ground, twitched, and used its tentacles to pull itself snug over the nipple. It was building, but the hive mind had commanded him to make his hive as soon as possible. He extended his two proboscises out towards the still building organism, as soon as they contacted it; he started to assist the building. He nurtured the creature and greatly helped it to fight off the nano machines that were trying, but failing, to remove it. As soon as the creature was built, it would be able to fight the nano machines off by itself and collect resources for the hive. He knew the organisms that the creature on top of the node was derived from; they were actually a good species. That thought puzzled him for a second, never before had he bothered to think about anything except what the hive commanded. He started to reach out to the hive mind to inquire as to what was happening to him when he heard motor servos strain as they moved the bulk of something behind him.
He stopped feeding the tower, which was half built, but would still take a while if not being nourished by him, and spun around to face the intruding sounds. The massive doors that he had taken no notice of before were rotating, and that could only mean one thing. Them?. In a flurry to hide himself, he pleaded to the partially built creature to hide him. It wasn?t sentient and didn?t care, it wasn?t storing any resources in the big sac that rested atop of it, and even though it wasn?t built it could somehow tell that the small panicked one had helped it grow and it gladly opened the sack up to allow the tiny creature a place of refuge. A veritable sigh of relief echoed from his body as he settled into the thin sac of the node, watching as the massive door swung to a halt, revealing a massive form that clunked forward. It stopped when it spied his hiding spot. He was deathly silent, and didn?t dare move as the tall thing looked at him. The next thing he knew, his word was crashing around him in a cataclysm of bright colors and pain. The creature giving him refuge also cried out silently as it hemorrhaged from the blast. From his damaged hiding spot he could see that the mechanical bringer of pain had gone to shoot bright light at one of the vents. Taking a chance, he cried out to the rest of his brethren, but the only one who could get there in time was in a protective egg at the bottom of the elevator, almost done with it?s evolution to the same species as him. It would offer assistance, no question about it, the hive was very specific in that protecting the one hidden in the node took priority over blocking the entrance. The joy that help was coming was short-lived, as he knew it was too late. The human had stopped doing whatever it was, and had fixated it?s gaze on the damaged node again, this time bringing a metal rod to bear upon it, one hand pumped it and it made a sound that could only be trouble. Suddenly there was another massive implosion, the node could no longer sustain itself against the sonic siege upon itself and the nano machines that attacked it on a molecular level, it immediately evaporated back into the same nanite sludge that had been converted by the bacterium and molded by the little one to give it a short uncompleted life.
As the node dissipated around him suddenly he found himself being propelled thru the air by an unseen force, his fat little legs flailing as he uncontrollably spun around. He flew through the air and hit the wall that was at the bottom of the stairs, breaking many of the bones in his body and leaving him in much pain. Unfortunately, he was still level with the top stair. Begrudgingly, he emulated the pain bringers with something that he remembered them saying before they were annihilated, it was a sort of Kharaa ?oh sh*t this is going to suck? as the artificial gravity pulled him down 10 feet, smacking him into the cold steel of the ship with a sickening thump and causing even more damage to his already battered form. He lay beaten and broken, knowing he had failed. Even though he had almost enough sludge stored to build his hive, he was even more upset because he knew one of them would come and snuff him out. Suddenly there stood two big lumbering metallic feet, and the creature that had caused so much pain to him. It looked at him with its ?shotgun? aimed right at him. Knowing all was lost and lying in a pool of his own green fluids he waited for the last blast of pain that would send his consciousness back to the hive mind and leave his shell of a body to be reabsorbed. He was most puzzled when the creature turned and walked away, the door hissing shut, leaving the gorge in stunned silence. Seconds later, his body started to rebuild, repairing ruptured organs and sucking fluids back into their appropriate cavities. He rolled over and stood on his short legs, thanking whatever creature had spared him, knowing that now he could make his hive and succeed in doing the hive mind?s bidding. The ghost of the un-built hive came into view, just before he was going to expel all of his saved sludge to create his hive, he heard the other who had pledged assistance. It was now by his former res node and was wondering where he was. He scoffed at it because its mind was still a prisoner to the hive, following orders like an automaton. Then something happened that explained all to him, it was a reality dawning: the hive had let him become smarter and self-thinking because the task it needed was a special one. He knew that he was building a hive, something that is done many times all over the Ariadne arm at any given second and wasn?t much a thing to behold, but this hive was different in some way. He turned and focused on the hive and instantly it materialized and dropped down, un-built, unfinished, but a token of beauty in and of itself. He couldn?t assist it in building, but he could protect it. The other little sensing that the one it was tasked to protect was safe, and that the third hive was going up in the ?engine room?. So it went back to it?s main objective, ignoring the nagging in the back of its peonic mind that this hive was somehow different. It waddled over to the airlock and used all the res in its stomach to spawn a bunch of the pseudo plant chambers that attacked any that threatened their existance, and these organisms are so heavily hive modified that anything except the hive and it?s disciples were attacked instantly. This would keep them from spreading their pain in this direction for a while. The hive mind was momentarily happy with the reports of the moment, so it gave the gorge outside the airlock a moment of sentience as a reward for doing its bidding, and the creature took that moment to let out a faint chuckle.
Somehow he knew that he could build the nozzle he stood next to, he couldn?t have done it several minutes ago when he was moving up towards this location the hive had spoken of. He had encountered minor problems with getting the door that was behind him open, but that was solved by a glob of spit to one of the strange switches that was midway up the stairs. The door had hissed open and, allowing him to approach the bare gray nozzle. He had passed a threshold and concentrated on the organism that helped him convert the life giving sludge to a product that was useful to him and the rest of the brood. There was a squishing sound as he expelled the contents of his stomach and it immediately formed into the resource tower. It fell several feet to the ground, twitched, and used its tentacles to pull itself snug over the nipple. It was building, but the hive mind had commanded him to make his hive as soon as possible. He extended his two proboscises out towards the still building organism, as soon as they contacted it; he started to assist the building. He nurtured the creature and greatly helped it to fight off the nano machines that were trying, but failing, to remove it. As soon as the creature was built, it would be able to fight the nano machines off by itself and collect resources for the hive. He knew the organisms that the creature on top of the node was derived from; they were actually a good species. That thought puzzled him for a second, never before had he bothered to think about anything except what the hive commanded. He started to reach out to the hive mind to inquire as to what was happening to him when he heard motor servos strain as they moved the bulk of something behind him.
He stopped feeding the tower, which was half built, but would still take a while if not being nourished by him, and spun around to face the intruding sounds. The massive doors that he had taken no notice of before were rotating, and that could only mean one thing. Them?. In a flurry to hide himself, he pleaded to the partially built creature to hide him. It wasn?t sentient and didn?t care, it wasn?t storing any resources in the big sac that rested atop of it, and even though it wasn?t built it could somehow tell that the small panicked one had helped it grow and it gladly opened the sack up to allow the tiny creature a place of refuge. A veritable sigh of relief echoed from his body as he settled into the thin sac of the node, watching as the massive door swung to a halt, revealing a massive form that clunked forward. It stopped when it spied his hiding spot. He was deathly silent, and didn?t dare move as the tall thing looked at him. The next thing he knew, his word was crashing around him in a cataclysm of bright colors and pain. The creature giving him refuge also cried out silently as it hemorrhaged from the blast. From his damaged hiding spot he could see that the mechanical bringer of pain had gone to shoot bright light at one of the vents. Taking a chance, he cried out to the rest of his brethren, but the only one who could get there in time was in a protective egg at the bottom of the elevator, almost done with it?s evolution to the same species as him. It would offer assistance, no question about it, the hive was very specific in that protecting the one hidden in the node took priority over blocking the entrance. The joy that help was coming was short-lived, as he knew it was too late. The human had stopped doing whatever it was, and had fixated it?s gaze on the damaged node again, this time bringing a metal rod to bear upon it, one hand pumped it and it made a sound that could only be trouble. Suddenly there was another massive implosion, the node could no longer sustain itself against the sonic siege upon itself and the nano machines that attacked it on a molecular level, it immediately evaporated back into the same nanite sludge that had been converted by the bacterium and molded by the little one to give it a short uncompleted life.
As the node dissipated around him suddenly he found himself being propelled thru the air by an unseen force, his fat little legs flailing as he uncontrollably spun around. He flew through the air and hit the wall that was at the bottom of the stairs, breaking many of the bones in his body and leaving him in much pain. Unfortunately, he was still level with the top stair. Begrudgingly, he emulated the pain bringers with something that he remembered them saying before they were annihilated, it was a sort of Kharaa ?oh sh*t this is going to suck? as the artificial gravity pulled him down 10 feet, smacking him into the cold steel of the ship with a sickening thump and causing even more damage to his already battered form. He lay beaten and broken, knowing he had failed. Even though he had almost enough sludge stored to build his hive, he was even more upset because he knew one of them would come and snuff him out. Suddenly there stood two big lumbering metallic feet, and the creature that had caused so much pain to him. It looked at him with its ?shotgun? aimed right at him. Knowing all was lost and lying in a pool of his own green fluids he waited for the last blast of pain that would send his consciousness back to the hive mind and leave his shell of a body to be reabsorbed. He was most puzzled when the creature turned and walked away, the door hissing shut, leaving the gorge in stunned silence. Seconds later, his body started to rebuild, repairing ruptured organs and sucking fluids back into their appropriate cavities. He rolled over and stood on his short legs, thanking whatever creature had spared him, knowing that now he could make his hive and succeed in doing the hive mind?s bidding. The ghost of the un-built hive came into view, just before he was going to expel all of his saved sludge to create his hive, he heard the other who had pledged assistance. It was now by his former res node and was wondering where he was. He scoffed at it because its mind was still a prisoner to the hive, following orders like an automaton. Then something happened that explained all to him, it was a reality dawning: the hive had let him become smarter and self-thinking because the task it needed was a special one. He knew that he was building a hive, something that is done many times all over the Ariadne arm at any given second and wasn?t much a thing to behold, but this hive was different in some way. He turned and focused on the hive and instantly it materialized and dropped down, un-built, unfinished, but a token of beauty in and of itself. He couldn?t assist it in building, but he could protect it. The other little sensing that the one it was tasked to protect was safe, and that the third hive was going up in the ?engine room?. So it went back to it?s main objective, ignoring the nagging in the back of its peonic mind that this hive was somehow different. It waddled over to the airlock and used all the res in its stomach to spawn a bunch of the pseudo plant chambers that attacked any that threatened their existance, and these organisms are so heavily hive modified that anything except the hive and it?s disciples were attacked instantly. This would keep them from spreading their pain in this direction for a while. The hive mind was momentarily happy with the reports of the moment, so it gave the gorge outside the airlock a moment of sentience as a reward for doing its bidding, and the creature took that moment to let out a faint chuckle.
Comments
By the way, theres a sentence, "..sent his body spinning uncontrollable..", should be uncontrollably. And you spelled sentience wrong.
as for your miraculous escapes, cant you just give them redemption?
Z.X. and as for giving him redemption/the marine walking away...warriors on the battlefield know when the enemy is owed a debt, and honor and morals often allow have it be paid back... *cought* future refrence *cough*
karma: yeah I was chapped I couldn't spell sentience right, but I knew someone would correct me
delta: I'm working on the errors, and this alien is special, we shall see why
Vash:<!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:angry:--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/mad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='mad.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->
many thanks to Vash for editing that printed version, I've put those changes into effect and cleared some parts of it up, and i'm much happier with it now <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
read it again and give more feedback <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
TAK: <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
pwned
thanks I apreciate it
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
and I'm working on 6 now
BOTH OF US! We should make an alien story together...hm... hmm...hm....hmmm....hmmmm.....
hmm..
read mine here---> <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=6&t=33326' target='_blank'>Bigger Faster</a>
go check out his work if you haven't
however lucid, my story combines elemets from kharaa POV and the marine squad
beat that! <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
khaz, what do you think of my story?!