Programmer Humour :)

SoulSkorpion

Especially directed at anyone who's doing\done a Computer Science course <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->

English:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you're happy and you know it,
And you really want to show it,
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Discrete mathematics:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
for all x, Happy(x) ^ Knows(it, x) -> ClapHands(x)
for all x, Happy(x) ^ Knows(it, x) -> ClapHands(x)
for all x, Happy(x) ^ Knows(it, x) ^ ReallyWantsToShow(it, x) -> Happy(x) ^ Knows(it, x) -> ClapHands(x)
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Pseudocode:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
LOOP twice
?IF happy AND know it
? ?clap hands
?END IF
END LOOP
IF happy AND know it AND really want to show it
?IF happy AND know it
? ?clap hands
?END IF
END IF
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

C++:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
//ClapHands.cpp
#include <world>

namespace globals
{
?extern std::person *you
}

int main()
{
?for(int c = 0; c < 2; c++)
?{
? ?if( globals::you == HAPPY && globals::you->Know(IT))
? ?{
? ? ?globals::you->ClapHands();
? ?}
?}
?if( globals::you == HAPPY && globals::you->Know(IT) && globals::you->WantToShow(IT|REALLY) )
?{
? ?globals::you->ClapHands();
?}

?return 0;
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Java:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
//ClapHandsClass.java
public class ClapHandsClass
{

public static void main(String [] args)
{
?for(int counter = 0; counter < 2; counter++)
?{
? ?if( Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].GetIsHappy() && Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].Know(IT) )
? ?{
? ? ? Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].Clap( Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].BodyParts[HANDS] );
? ?}
?}
?if( Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].GetIsHappy() && Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].Know(IT) && Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].ReallyWantToShow(IT) )
?{
? ?if( Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].GetIsHappy() && Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].Know(IT) )
? ?{
? ? ? Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].Clap( Java.Lang.Object.World.People[YOU].BodyParts[HANDS] );
? ?}
?}
}

}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

C:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
//ClapHands.c
#include <world.h>
extern PERSON you;

int main(){
?int c;
?for(c=0;c<2;c++){
? ?are(&you,HAPPY|KNOW_IT)?Clap(&you,HANDS):;
?}
?are(&you,HAPPY|KNOW_IT|REALLY_WANT_TO_SHOW_IT)?Clap(&you,HANDS):;
?return 0;
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->

[edit]believe it or not, I'm actually having to debug this code <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->[/edit]

lolfighter

I got discrete mathematics and pseudocode. Since I wasted my youth on computer games instead of learning to code, C, C++ and Java are closed books to me. Meaning I'll have to study hard for several years to get a job. Pity me.
Anyways, this was funny.

SpceM0nkey

yeh thats cool. Doomaniac did a thread putting shakespeare into pseudo code, it was pretty cool.
I get everything except c++, although i can follow it, but wouldnt be able to code it.

The java one looks alot longer than it needs to be.....
me thinks about it.

tankefugl

Oh, I love the C version! It's quite "readable" <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->

Infinitum

C: DOS
C: DOS run
run DOS run

SoulSkorpion

<!--QuoteBegin--Sp@ceM0nkey+Aug 20 2003, 08:48 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Sp@ceM0nkey @ Aug 20 2003, 08:48 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> The java one looks alot longer than it needs to be.....
me thinks about it. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah, that was intentional. I was trying to caricature the languages, you could say <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

Thansal

lol @ the java

/me waits for some one to right the 2 line scheam one <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

amusing side line:
One of our projects was to write a program (java) that would turn any fraction (x/y) into an egyption frac (just adding things like 1/x + 1/y + 1/z ... never repeating a denomenator, yah it sucks)

Well our programs all ran horribly (some just wouldn't) then one of the seniors showed me his program that did the same thing in scheam. It took longer to print the ans then to calculate it... Stupid delta.... <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

Soylent_green

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I got discrete mathematics and pseudocode.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

lolfighter... you didn't get the english one? <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->

Nil_IQ

<!--QuoteBegin--lolfighter+Aug 20 2003, 07:33 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (lolfighter @ Aug 20 2003, 07:33 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I got discrete mathematics and pseudocode. Since I wasted my youth on computer games instead of learning to code, C, C++ and Java are closed books to me. Meaning I'll have to study hard for several years to get a job. Pity me.
Anyways, this was funny. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
NOOOO! Must learn C++ before I turn into Lolfighter!!!

Hehe, seriously though, that sounds the way i'm going if I don't actually buckle down in this next year at college..... <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif'><!--endemo-->

WolfmanNCSu

HA HA, funny thread. I feel like I am the only one that actually liked the JAVA version. I honestly like JAVA over other languages, but mainly because it was the one I really learned first. I had only played with other languages like C/C++ and basic, but once I started my degree, it was mostly JAVA ever since.

p4Samwise

Hm. My Scheme is a bit rusty, but:

((if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) (really-want-to-show-it())) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands()))

ph34r the parens. PH34R!!!

RustySpoon

<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>I AM SURROUNDED BY GEEKS!!!</span>[/CODE]

Quaunaut

Who shall kill you, DaMu.

I understood all of the C++ one....yay

Hooray for "C++ FOR DUMMIES v.4"!!!

Tonstar

hahaha the HTML one is so funny!

p4Samwise

For even more fun, see:

<a href='http://99-bottles-of-beer.ls-la.net/' target='_blank'>http://99-bottles-of-beer.ls-la.net/</a>

Examples:

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->#include <iostream>
using namespace std;

int main()
   {
   int bottles = 99;
   while ( bottles > 0 )
       {
       cout << bottles << " bottle(s) of beer on the wall," << endl;
       cout << bottles << " bottle(s) of beer." << endl;
       cout << "Take one down, pass it around," << endl;
       cout << --bottles << " bottle(s) of beer on the wall." << endl;
       }
   return 0;
   }
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->(define bottles
 (lambda (n)
   (cond ((= n 0) (display "No more bottles"))
         ((= n 1) (display "One bottle"))
         (else (display n) (display " bottles")))
   (display " of beer")))

(define beer
 (lambda (n)
   (if (> n 0)
       (begin
         (bottles n) (display " on the wall") (newline)
         (bottles n) (newline)
         (display "Take one down, pass it around") (newline)
         (bottles (- n 1)) (display " on the wall") (newline)
         (newline)
         (beer (- n 1))))))

(beer 99)
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->ALWAYS beer;

rule Drink {
   for tenbeers in 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 "" {
       for beers in 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 {
           b = $(tenbeers)$(beers);
           if ( $(b) != 99 ) {
               ECHO "$(b) bottles of $(<) on the wall!";
           }
           if ( $(b) = 0 ) {
               EXIT "No more $(<)!";
           }
           ECHO "$(b) bottles of $(<) on the wall. $(b) bottles of $(<). Take one down,";
           ECHO "pass it around...";
       }
   }
}

Drink beer;
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

cshank4

Ya wanna knwo whats sad, just from doing some random coding in a game I play I can understand C++ better then all of those <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->

Thansal

aint learning coding from messing with games great <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

actauly the java one is wrong, seeing how it usses no oop <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

I meen the only thing you could do was crreate a clap hands sub routine, but you could and it would be fun <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

Asraniel

I think this java version is more readable....


<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
//ClapHandsClass.java
public class ClapHandsClass
{
import Java.Lang.Object.World.People;

public static void main(String [] args)
{
for(int counter = 0; counter < 2; counter++)
{
  if( People[YOU].GetIsHappy() && People[YOU].Know(IT) )
  {
     People[YOU].Clap( People[YOU].BodyParts[HANDS] );
  }
}
if( People[YOU].GetIsHappy() && People[YOU].Know(IT) && People[YOU].ReallyWantToShow(IT) )
{
  if( People[YOU].GetIsHappy() && People[YOU].Know(IT) )
  {
     People[YOU].Clap( People[YOU].BodyParts[HANDS] );
  }
}
}

}


<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Fam

<!--QuoteBegin--[p4]Samwise+Aug 20 2003, 07:31 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> ([p4]Samwise @ Aug 20 2003, 07:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> ((if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) (really-want-to-show-it())) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())) <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I can read that and understand. Help me.

p4Samwise

<!--QuoteBegin--Fam+Aug 20 2003, 01:14 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Fam @ Aug 20 2003, 01:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--[p4]Samwise+Aug 20 2003, 07:31 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> ([p4]Samwise @ Aug 20 2003, 07:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> ((if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) (really-want-to-show-it())) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())) <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I can read that and understand. Help me. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Enough beer will purge even the most durable skills and/or memories.

Fam

<!--QuoteBegin--[p4]Samwise+Aug 20 2003, 11:30 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> ([p4]Samwise @ Aug 20 2003, 11:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--Fam+Aug 20 2003, 01:14 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Fam @ Aug 20 2003, 01:14 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--[p4]Samwise+Aug 20 2003, 07:31 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> ([p4]Samwise @ Aug 20 2003, 07:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> ((if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())(if ( (and (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) (really-want-to-show-it())) clap-hands())(if ( (and (pred-happy()) (pred-knowit())) ) clap-hands())) <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I can read that and understand. Help me. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Enough beer will purge even the most durable skills and/or memories. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Don't I know it! Ive already erased all knowledge of ADA!

Sycophant

Could be worse..... <b>assembly</b>!!

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
eeprom  equ $b600
option  equ $1039
portc   equ $1003
ddrc   equ $1007
scdr   equ $102f
scsr   equ $102e

LCD_stdScr1 fcc "Are you happy?"
LCD_stdScr2 fcc "a:"
LCD_ss1_chars equ 14
LCD_ss2_chars equ 2
LCD_statusG fcc "*claps hands*"

  org eeprom
  lds $01fb
  ldaa #%10100000
  staa option
  jsr LCD_StdScr
  cli

main   ldaa    #%00010000
  staa    adctl

main_happy ldaa portc
  ldab $ff
  cba
  ble main_isHappy
  jsr LCD_happy
  bra main

LCD_isHappy ldd LCD_statusG
  lsra
  lsra
  lsra
  lsra
  anda #%00001111
  oraa #%00110000
  jsr LCD_sendChar

  ldd LCD_statusG
  anda #%00001111
  oraa #%00110000
  jsr LCD_sendChar
  rts

LCD_sendChar psha
sendChar_loop ldaa scsr
  bpl sendChar_loop
  pula
  staa scdr
  rts

  end
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Okay, so it looks terrible in the forums. Actually, I doubt that program would even run - I'm dead tired, haven't touched ASM in at least a year, and can't remember most of the commands. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->


.....honestly, that's just a hack job from a similar program I wrote many many moons ago. Can't even remember what the program did, but it was close to a simple user input program.

SoulSkorpion

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->HA HA, funny thread. I feel like I am the only one that actually liked the JAVA version. I honestly like JAVA over other languages, but mainly because it was the one I really learned first. I had only played with other languages like C/C++ and basic, but once I started my degree, it was mostly JAVA ever since.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
C++ was my second language, Java my third. So Java annoys the hell out of me, because of all the nice little things I can't do any more in it (one example: no default parameter values).

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->For even more fun, see:

<a href='http://99-bottles-of-beer.ls-la.net/' target='_blank'>http://99-bottles-of-beer.ls-la.net/</a><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
That C++ one made me laugh out loud <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->actauly the java one is wrong, seeing how it usses no oop<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
There's more wrong with it than that. There's also the fact that "world" is not inside Java.Lang.Object. It's a joke <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Could be worse..... assembly<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Heh... I was going to do an IJVM version, but I kinda forgot.

...

Anyway, here's another one.

Whitespace:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->











<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->

DOOManiac

r00fles. Me likey.