Wrath, anger, feelings of betrayal

BiomechanoidBiomechanoid Join Date: 2002-02-12 Member: 203Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">Confusion of the utmost degree</div>I don't know what to think.

I had/am helping out a very close friend of mine (my ex actually) while she goes through rehab by paying 2/3 of her rent and half of her car insurance. This is someone I still care for and want to see them get their lives back on track.
So what am I to think and or do when I get a call from her saying she's back here (tampa, Florida, she's supposed to be in seattle, washington) and is going to be here for a while. She still had 6 months left before completion of rehab last time I checked...

what am I to think? was she using me all this time so she could continue her coke fix? but I've seen her monthly progress reports from her rehabilitation center and support groups... she's been on a progressive track...

My new Girlfriend understands why I continued to send my ex money... but... I feel like I've been betrayed. and have rashly stopped payment on her rent check I wrote a few days ago

I've never felt this enraged towards anyone I know, let alone care about. I don't know what to do... I'm too furious about her skipping rehab to even hold a coherent conversation with her...

<!--emo&:(--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':('><!--endemo-->


a very emotionally unstable Justin
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Comments

  • GencideGencide Join Date: 2002-05-30 Member: 698Members
    Personal problems like this get alot of heat from posters. I don't think you should ask us or tell us too much about stuff like this, its just not good practice.
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  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    The mods don't mind these (usually) as long as they are not too gross and such. Heck, I have no idea what to say, as I know no one in these situations. Keep it nice guys, and we don't mind it.
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  • GencideGencide Join Date: 2002-05-30 Member: 698Members
    I'm not trying to be mean if thats what you are getting from my post, I just don't like seeing these kinda things because it:

    1. Makes me feel bad for them
    2. They could get flamed by some jerk and then it goes into a big flame war
    3. Claims for "this post was made for attention" and stuff like that get started, but not all the time.

    But other than that, I don't know what to say about his problem, its complicated and if he wants to tell us all about it, then he can, just saying its probably in his best interest to leave it personal, ya know?
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  • SpoogeSpooge Thunderbolt missile in your cheerios Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 67Members
    Care about her with your heart, not your wallet.  Do yourself a favor and cut her loose.
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  • f3rretf3rret Join Date: 2002-05-29 Member: 686Members
    Have you talked to her since she got out of rehab or something? Did you check with the rehab place and ask why she left?

    I think you need more info before you can make any judgements.
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  • TacticianTactician Join Date: 2002-02-19 Member: 228Members
    I agree with Spooge.  She's dug her own hole and she ought to climb back out herself.  If she keeps getting money she hasn't really earned, she's not learning anything about how to live.
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  • SentrySteveSentrySteve .txt Join Date: 2002-03-09 Member: 290Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--Gen()cide+Aug. 02 2002,02<!--emo&:0--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'><!--endemo-->3--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (Gen()cide @ Aug. 02 2002,02<!--emo&:0--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':0'><!--endemo-->3)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->Personal problems like this get alot of heat from posters. I don't think you should ask us or tell us too much about stuff like this, its just not good practice.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I think he is refering to me, taking action <a href="http://www.natural-selection.org/cgi-bin/ikonboard/ikonboard.cgi?act=ST;f=10;t=3267;hl=deadlocke666" target="_blank">here against the shemale.</a>  I only made that post becuase all 'she' ever talked about was 'her' 'brother' who went on crazy adventures.  Like getting molested and cutting himself.  'She' just recently, maybe at the begining of this month made a post actually about ns!  It was a stupid post, asking if there was going to be a manual with ns.  As long as its not some crazy stupid thing every other day, we have no problem with you posting personal things on this forum.
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  • Umbrella_MasterUmbrella_Master Join Date: 2002-07-12 Member: 915Members
    "The world is tough, though your emotions are tougher."  Yeah, I heard that crappy true quote before, and it is true. I agree with the others, cut her loose, tell her she needs to stay on rehab, and try to help her without money and with as much affection as you can.  Sorry, but I had a friend like this who I never really told it was wrong, I just went with it.  Just my suggestion, dont go with it at all.  Make sure you tell them you think it's sh*t.  That's the mistake I made, dont make the same one I did.  <!--emo&???--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='???'><!--endemo-->

    Good luck man!
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  • pielemuispielemuis Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 72Members, NS1 Playtester
    listen to ferret, you really don't have enough info, we can't tell you what to do, we don't know you or her, get some more info, talk to her, you'll work it out
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  • TacticianTactician Join Date: 2002-02-19 Member: 228Members
    Yes, by all means make sure you understand the current situation before doing anything.  Assumption is the mother of all ****ups.

    ..I expected the boards to edit that automatically.
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  • LegionnairedLegionnaired Join Date: 2002-04-30 Member: 552Members, Constellation
    yeah, something's been wrong with that the last couple days.

    That seriously sucks. Obviously, you've moved on, and it's understandable you'd want to ensure quality of life for anotehr human being.

    But people have free will <!--emo&???--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='???'><!--endemo-->. Sometimes the will choose the right thing, sometimes not.

    If you wanna try to help her some more, that's great, and honorable, but if not, I don't think anyone in the world would challenge your decision.
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  • BiomechanoidBiomechanoid Join Date: 2002-02-12 Member: 203Members
    Adressing the topic at hand...

    I was finally able to have a long (read 8 hours) talk with Jen, and... summary is she thinks that since she was doing so well in rehab that she doesn't need to finish the next 6 months- I think that there is a reason it's a 10 month program and not a 4 month one, and I took the stance that I'll still be here for her if she needs someone to talk to and everything, but I'm cutting the money- she can get a 2nd job to pay for her expenses with all the freetime that NOT going to rehab gives her. <!--emo&:(--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sad.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':('><!--endemo--> I feel bad for taking this stance, but... I think unbrella's tagged it best. She knows I'm royally ###### about her skipping out on rehab, but I think we'll still communicate in the future- I'm also really mad about the fact that she never told any of her friends out west that she was going back to her parents for "a few months," and for getting (at least the one that I know) her friends upset for just leaving.


    As for the attention getting shiznit- take this as you will-> sometimes situations are too exotic for some people to rationally deal with and I just ask out randomly in the vain hope someone has been there before, and can perhaps offer a word or two to get me headed in a good direction.

    BTW..... what ever happened to that locke chick? or is that the shemale (crossdresser?<!--emo&???--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/confused.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt='???'><!--endemo-->) that you were refrerring to?

    [edit]
    oh! I never did read locke's sympathy posts with a grain of salt. eheheheheh crossdresser is the name he deserves

    [edit]
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  • LegionnairedLegionnaired Join Date: 2002-04-30 Member: 552Members, Constellation
    Well, im glad you got it sorted out. I hope things get better for you (and her) in the future.
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