The Question Of Me And Girls
<div class="IPBDescription">My thoughts: Criticize them please</div> Throughout everything I’ve seen in life so far, there appears to be two types of “I want a girl” type guy. There are those who are bold, and there are those who are shy. I suppose that I fit in the latter categorization, but it is not so much because I have trouble talking with girls. It is something else that interferes with me actually going out to find a girlfriend.
I do my best in adhering to Christian morals, and one thing that’s been made clear in the lessons that I’ve been taught: <b>Thou shall not fling</b>. I have no problem with this rule. In fact, I want any relationship with a girl to be a serious and mature one, not just one that lasts for a few months, limited just to high school, or simply breaks apart after one fight.
I have no beef with that rule… so what exactly is my problem?
I believe that all the problems I have in making the attempt to find a girlfriend lies on a stereotype I have for +90% of all girls: They want children. This is the excuse I give myself to blocking myself in finding a girlfriend.
So the next question posed: Why do I have a phobia of being a father?
1. Since I applied a stereotype to women, it would only be fair that a stereotype that is also slapped on me: the fear of responsibility, (in this case, being responsible for the lives of others). If I ever became a parent, I don’t ever want to parent the way that my dad does. Yet as time goes by, I notice striking resemblances between us, such as how stubborn we can both be at times. I can also be very laid back at times and not show importance to things that need attention. My biggest fear may be in enforcing discipline. Even at my age, I do show favour in the use corporal punishment, but I dread having to use it myself. I know discipline isn't necessarily restricted to corporal punishment, but I have doubts as to whether more mild-mannered discipline is truly effective or not. To not use discipline is just suicide; my kids would go nuts, and then I’d look like a jackass on shows like Maury for not knowing how to teach my kids and needing a bloody boot camp sergeant to teach own kids. MY OWN ******* KIDS. Should I reach this point, I feel it’s safe to say I failed as a father.
The positive side to this however, is that I’m interested in joining the army reserves. I just finished the 6-day military orientation advertised in my school bulletin yesterday, and I do intend to join the military. In terms of rank, I’d be willing to go up as high as a Sergeant, or a Master Warrant, (these ranks are from the Canadian military), so given time, I might be more inclined to use discipline, and effectively as well. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
2. I simply do not find today’s society fit for raising children. A crowded, urban life, where media and advertisements constantly bombard your face, is simply not fit for children. I’d much rather raise kids in a suburban area, or a rural area. Unfortunately I have zero experience with farm life, so I guess that leaves me with the suburbs. Still, I really pity what parents have to deal with their kids nowadays, than say fifty years ago. One thing that has truly changed is the family organization. My understanding now is that there is an increase in both parents going to work, instead of the traditional, husband gathers meat; wife attends to cave and children. I am in no way opposed to women wanting to get out in the open to do work, but honestly, I don’t think that a couple in which both spouses go to work should have children, unless they’re friggin super-machines that can dedicate energy effectively between, themselves, their children, and their work. Frankly, I don’t think I have what it takes to juggle all three successfully.
3. Related back to what was said in 2., my simple outlook on this world is that it sucks. Thus, why would I want to bring life into a world in which I deem to be unhealthy? In fact, my preference as of right now is that I’d rather <i>adopt</i> children, instead of having my own. There are kids out there that need help; I don’t have some retarded instinct concerning the need to “continue my genes “. To hell with that! <b>My</b> instinct is to help people. Orphans need help, so I’d be much more willing to care for an orphan than to bring yet another life to this world. Did I forget to mention that this world is already overpopulated?
Of course, the above three points obscure me based on the stereotype that girls want kids. Yet there must of course be a percentage of girls that don’t want kids. In fact, I’ve already met a girl that agrees with some of my ideas, and I’m a good friend with her. She herself isn’t interested in having kids either. However, I think she’s already stated that she’s not really into having a boyfriend, and I’m cool with that. In fact, there’s another girl I have a bit of a crush on, but I haven’t really talked to her too much. And honestly, if I did approach her, the first thing on my mind isn’t to ask her, “hey, do you want to have kids when you’re older?” Good God, that makes for a damn fine <b>scare tactic</b> when it comes to first impressions. But at the same time, I don’t want to have to spend so much time to her, and then having it all come to an end with our differing opinions on having kids. The positive side to it would be that I made a strong friend, BUT THAT’S NOT THE ORIGINAL POINT NOW, WAS IT?
There seems to be hope though. With the way society is going nowadays, it seems that women are becoming more interested in having a career than with having kids. Should this trend continue, then I might be pretty lucky in the near future. I think...
This concludes my thoughts.
Now please ridicule me.
I do my best in adhering to Christian morals, and one thing that’s been made clear in the lessons that I’ve been taught: <b>Thou shall not fling</b>. I have no problem with this rule. In fact, I want any relationship with a girl to be a serious and mature one, not just one that lasts for a few months, limited just to high school, or simply breaks apart after one fight.
I have no beef with that rule… so what exactly is my problem?
I believe that all the problems I have in making the attempt to find a girlfriend lies on a stereotype I have for +90% of all girls: They want children. This is the excuse I give myself to blocking myself in finding a girlfriend.
So the next question posed: Why do I have a phobia of being a father?
1. Since I applied a stereotype to women, it would only be fair that a stereotype that is also slapped on me: the fear of responsibility, (in this case, being responsible for the lives of others). If I ever became a parent, I don’t ever want to parent the way that my dad does. Yet as time goes by, I notice striking resemblances between us, such as how stubborn we can both be at times. I can also be very laid back at times and not show importance to things that need attention. My biggest fear may be in enforcing discipline. Even at my age, I do show favour in the use corporal punishment, but I dread having to use it myself. I know discipline isn't necessarily restricted to corporal punishment, but I have doubts as to whether more mild-mannered discipline is truly effective or not. To not use discipline is just suicide; my kids would go nuts, and then I’d look like a jackass on shows like Maury for not knowing how to teach my kids and needing a bloody boot camp sergeant to teach own kids. MY OWN ******* KIDS. Should I reach this point, I feel it’s safe to say I failed as a father.
The positive side to this however, is that I’m interested in joining the army reserves. I just finished the 6-day military orientation advertised in my school bulletin yesterday, and I do intend to join the military. In terms of rank, I’d be willing to go up as high as a Sergeant, or a Master Warrant, (these ranks are from the Canadian military), so given time, I might be more inclined to use discipline, and effectively as well. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
2. I simply do not find today’s society fit for raising children. A crowded, urban life, where media and advertisements constantly bombard your face, is simply not fit for children. I’d much rather raise kids in a suburban area, or a rural area. Unfortunately I have zero experience with farm life, so I guess that leaves me with the suburbs. Still, I really pity what parents have to deal with their kids nowadays, than say fifty years ago. One thing that has truly changed is the family organization. My understanding now is that there is an increase in both parents going to work, instead of the traditional, husband gathers meat; wife attends to cave and children. I am in no way opposed to women wanting to get out in the open to do work, but honestly, I don’t think that a couple in which both spouses go to work should have children, unless they’re friggin super-machines that can dedicate energy effectively between, themselves, their children, and their work. Frankly, I don’t think I have what it takes to juggle all three successfully.
3. Related back to what was said in 2., my simple outlook on this world is that it sucks. Thus, why would I want to bring life into a world in which I deem to be unhealthy? In fact, my preference as of right now is that I’d rather <i>adopt</i> children, instead of having my own. There are kids out there that need help; I don’t have some retarded instinct concerning the need to “continue my genes “. To hell with that! <b>My</b> instinct is to help people. Orphans need help, so I’d be much more willing to care for an orphan than to bring yet another life to this world. Did I forget to mention that this world is already overpopulated?
Of course, the above three points obscure me based on the stereotype that girls want kids. Yet there must of course be a percentage of girls that don’t want kids. In fact, I’ve already met a girl that agrees with some of my ideas, and I’m a good friend with her. She herself isn’t interested in having kids either. However, I think she’s already stated that she’s not really into having a boyfriend, and I’m cool with that. In fact, there’s another girl I have a bit of a crush on, but I haven’t really talked to her too much. And honestly, if I did approach her, the first thing on my mind isn’t to ask her, “hey, do you want to have kids when you’re older?” Good God, that makes for a damn fine <b>scare tactic</b> when it comes to first impressions. But at the same time, I don’t want to have to spend so much time to her, and then having it all come to an end with our differing opinions on having kids. The positive side to it would be that I made a strong friend, BUT THAT’S NOT THE ORIGINAL POINT NOW, WAS IT?
There seems to be hope though. With the way society is going nowadays, it seems that women are becoming more interested in having a career than with having kids. Should this trend continue, then I might be pretty lucky in the near future. I think...
This concludes my thoughts.
Now please ridicule me.
Comments
<b>boy:</b> "want to go out with me?"
<b>girl:</b> "sure... lets have kids"
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Just waiting for my response eh?
And yeah, I don't feel a strong need for a girlfriend yet either, I originally planned to never get married in the first place; thinking I could get all the companionship I needed from a pet. But as I thought about it further, I realized it was the "being a father" aspect that was most worrisome to me. Only time will tell...
Cheers to not having been created as an asexual species!
yeah always just be happy where your at
its your life dont let any peer pressure make u think o im weird im single!
its your life <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
alot of guys are afraid of that ^_^
cause its a commitment u can not back out of
and commitment scares alot of guys.
especially one with such responsiblity put on the father
so yeah u have every right to feel that way <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
Now, it's pretty obvious from the word 'go' that the internet communities will be filled with awkward and shy people, anti-social people, wacko people, religious people, illogical people, etc etc. And I don't know why I go to these threads. Maybe to show myself just how I SHOULD NOT be, how I SHOULD NOT think. I certainly don't go to them to help people - nothing short of a miracle or a revolution in your way of thinking could help you.
Anyway, I got sidetracked while i was writing this - my finger started bleeding. So I'll just end it here.