Amckerns' First Fan Fiction
amckern
Join Date: 2003-03-03 Member: 14249Members, Constellation
Join Date: 2003-03-03 Member: 14249Members, Constellation
<div class="IPBDescription">Please read and crit</div> Fan Fiction for natural selection forums
Day off class writing
MUST BE DONE BY THE 7th December 2003
Introduction
Before you read this, please keep an open mind about my character, and take my story into consideration. In my story, the player will be a marine fighting both aliens and marines.
( Part I )
The ship was anything but luxurious. Rust covered it all over. It was hard to tell that its original color used to be dark green. This ship’s pilot was deep into his work. He seemed spaced out, staring at the panels of the ship’s control system.
The ship, in its hay day was used for Resource accreditation, Resource accreditation was what the corporate’ of the foundling planet did when the planet was not exporting its share of income, from its operations, such as raw resource, being trees, minerals, clean water, or what ever the planets industries could make cheaper then on earth, or where not made on earth. These Resource accreditation missions would needed a full Battalion – 10 of these LM67 class ships, to go to the planet, and claim anything that was of worth, to sell back on earth, and keep the peace of the populace, that thought it was not part of the corporate it was founded under. However the last Resource accreditation mission was some 50 years ago, and the last LM67 was produced 5 years before that mission. The Lament Machinery Works was now closed up; so getting spare parts for the LM67 was harder with each flight. It would be better if the Earth Geocentric required you to replace most parts after 10000 hours space flight, instead of the 5000 hours that is law.
My name is Jason Roth; I’m a computer technician. I have virtually no field experience. I am the new guy. I have joined TSA to see if I can straighten out my life. My past was anything but clean. I used to be the head of a major crime operation. We were caught, and I was forced to choose between jail time and the military. Now, my conscience was clear, I was a part of a team that worked towards a better future.
My squad and I were to meet at the mess hall for our final briefing. Our squad leader, Major Eric McCloud, gave his speech. “Our objective is very simple, it seems too my superiors that a number of rouge and terrorist agencies have been communicating subliminally using the communications computer on the Kharaa infested planet, Eden. That computer is our target. Our computer technician Jason Roth must be escorted down to the communications computer by two of our grunts, Corporal Mark Adrian and Corporal Bryan Taggart. Jason must then tap the communications computer so that we hear everything they say. It is Exactly eleven minutes until we are in range to Phase dirt side, so get yourselves ready. That is all, dismissed”. As Eric left the room, both Mark and Bryan gave me strange stares, almost as if they knew something I didn’t. I have a history of feeling paranoid, feeling like someone else controlled my every step, feeling like my future is written and out of my control. This however … this was something else. Their stares cut straight through me. I don’t know what it was, but I knew they knew something I didn’t.
There was three minutes left until we where to use the Phase Gate. Being only a technician, I was armed only with a thin Kevlar vest, knife, 10mm pistol, and a standard TSA issued 9mm Light Machine Gun. Mark and Bryan were both armed with TSA issued Heavy Machine Guns, Heavy Armor, knives, and welders to repair each other's armor. The three of us walked into the phase room where an armored personnel carrier (APC) was waiting for us.
The phase took only a few seconds, but that short time, cost the TSA quite a few nanites, and getting back to the ship would be at least a 7 hour wait, even if we Phased into a Kharaa hive. The ship had 10 onboard Resource Collection Towers, for the nanites, but with the ship being over 70 years old, this made the collection process slow, and tiresome.
Mark took the wheel of the APC, which left Bryan and I in the back to wait until we reached the target. Again, Bryan gave me his dirty stare. Amazingly, he said nothing, I thought he would at least insult me, but he just sat there and stared.
Every so often I would hear the APC’s automated guns go off. All that meant was that there was some light resistance in the area, probably renegade Kharaa, nothing to be really scared of when you have two fully armed grunts at your side. We reached a low corridor inside the institution. The APC was now useless to us.
Bryan got up and exited the APC, followed by Mark, then me. Bryan walked up front, killing all Kharaa in our way, almost mechanically. While Bryan was busy with his killing, Mark and I walked in back. I noticed after about ten minutes of walking that Mark was also yet again staring at me. I tried to pretend I didn’t notice. Another ten minutes of walking brought us to our target, the communications computer. It was then that I finally heard Mark and Bryan talk, they said to me “Do your job” almost mechanically. I began tapping the computer, linking it to TSA intelligence so we could hear everything they say, encrypted or not. While I was working, I picked up a signal from another agency, I decided to listen in. “TSA… has overrun… we can’t stop them… stealing our oil… our natural resources… need help… they are slaughtering… women… children… need help…”
It became clear to me. TSA wasn’t a grand corporation working for a better tomorrow. They are just power hungry tyrants killing women and children and controlling other nation’s natural resources much like the Resource accreditation of the bygone era. I then realized what I was doing… I was aiding them. Perhaps because of me, more will suffer and die. What was I doing? What was I to do? I could not run. Obviously Mark and Bryan knew this, if I tried to run, they would kill me with no emotion. I couldn’t kill them with their heavy armor and my weak weaponry. It was then that I heard the click of two pistol hammers. I turned my head to see Mark and Bryan pointing their 10mm’s at me. They told me “Finish”. They must have known I figured out what was happening because my work speed vastly slowed down. Of course, there was nothing I could do, I had to finish or they would kill me. I was a coward; I would not take a bullet to save others. I’m not that brave. Once I finished the link, I would not be able to break it. That would require absolute destruction of the communications computer, which would require high explosives. I finished the link. Mark and Bryan gently released their pistols hammer, and then Bryan beat me over the head with his HMG.
I woke up who knows how long later in pure darkness. I was still right next to the communications computer. I activated my wrist flashlight. I saw that my LMG and 10mm lay right next to me. They haven’t completely disarmed me. I realized that the TSA has left me in this infested institution so that I can die. Even if I did somehow escape, I could not prove what the TSA is doing to these innocent people. I could do nothing. My mind was filled with rage. The feeling of knowing that I could not help those innocent people burned my mind. It was then that one single word echoed inside me over and over, “Revenge”. The fact that I could not help the innocent then became my advantage. It meant I had nothing to lose. The rage inside me benefited me I was ready to draw blood. Off in the darkness, I could hear them crawling around, the Kharaa. I picked up my LMG and 10mm. I had a bandolier full of ammo, so I was ready. I aimed my LMG off into the darkness and fired. I did not stop firing. I could hear their screams. It fed my urge to kill. I kept firing, never even seeing their faces. My LMG then clicked. I reloaded, and then continued firing. When I emptied my second magazine, their crawling noises stopped. I reloaded again and continued down the long dark corridor. I knew what I had to do. With nothing to lose, it would be my duty to take down TSA. That was my primary objective. Then, my secondary objective would be to end the threat to the entire human race, I would have to eliminate the primary Kharaa hive.
TBC
amckern
Day off class writing
MUST BE DONE BY THE 7th December 2003
Introduction
Before you read this, please keep an open mind about my character, and take my story into consideration. In my story, the player will be a marine fighting both aliens and marines.
( Part I )
The ship was anything but luxurious. Rust covered it all over. It was hard to tell that its original color used to be dark green. This ship’s pilot was deep into his work. He seemed spaced out, staring at the panels of the ship’s control system.
The ship, in its hay day was used for Resource accreditation, Resource accreditation was what the corporate’ of the foundling planet did when the planet was not exporting its share of income, from its operations, such as raw resource, being trees, minerals, clean water, or what ever the planets industries could make cheaper then on earth, or where not made on earth. These Resource accreditation missions would needed a full Battalion – 10 of these LM67 class ships, to go to the planet, and claim anything that was of worth, to sell back on earth, and keep the peace of the populace, that thought it was not part of the corporate it was founded under. However the last Resource accreditation mission was some 50 years ago, and the last LM67 was produced 5 years before that mission. The Lament Machinery Works was now closed up; so getting spare parts for the LM67 was harder with each flight. It would be better if the Earth Geocentric required you to replace most parts after 10000 hours space flight, instead of the 5000 hours that is law.
My name is Jason Roth; I’m a computer technician. I have virtually no field experience. I am the new guy. I have joined TSA to see if I can straighten out my life. My past was anything but clean. I used to be the head of a major crime operation. We were caught, and I was forced to choose between jail time and the military. Now, my conscience was clear, I was a part of a team that worked towards a better future.
My squad and I were to meet at the mess hall for our final briefing. Our squad leader, Major Eric McCloud, gave his speech. “Our objective is very simple, it seems too my superiors that a number of rouge and terrorist agencies have been communicating subliminally using the communications computer on the Kharaa infested planet, Eden. That computer is our target. Our computer technician Jason Roth must be escorted down to the communications computer by two of our grunts, Corporal Mark Adrian and Corporal Bryan Taggart. Jason must then tap the communications computer so that we hear everything they say. It is Exactly eleven minutes until we are in range to Phase dirt side, so get yourselves ready. That is all, dismissed”. As Eric left the room, both Mark and Bryan gave me strange stares, almost as if they knew something I didn’t. I have a history of feeling paranoid, feeling like someone else controlled my every step, feeling like my future is written and out of my control. This however … this was something else. Their stares cut straight through me. I don’t know what it was, but I knew they knew something I didn’t.
There was three minutes left until we where to use the Phase Gate. Being only a technician, I was armed only with a thin Kevlar vest, knife, 10mm pistol, and a standard TSA issued 9mm Light Machine Gun. Mark and Bryan were both armed with TSA issued Heavy Machine Guns, Heavy Armor, knives, and welders to repair each other's armor. The three of us walked into the phase room where an armored personnel carrier (APC) was waiting for us.
The phase took only a few seconds, but that short time, cost the TSA quite a few nanites, and getting back to the ship would be at least a 7 hour wait, even if we Phased into a Kharaa hive. The ship had 10 onboard Resource Collection Towers, for the nanites, but with the ship being over 70 years old, this made the collection process slow, and tiresome.
Mark took the wheel of the APC, which left Bryan and I in the back to wait until we reached the target. Again, Bryan gave me his dirty stare. Amazingly, he said nothing, I thought he would at least insult me, but he just sat there and stared.
Every so often I would hear the APC’s automated guns go off. All that meant was that there was some light resistance in the area, probably renegade Kharaa, nothing to be really scared of when you have two fully armed grunts at your side. We reached a low corridor inside the institution. The APC was now useless to us.
Bryan got up and exited the APC, followed by Mark, then me. Bryan walked up front, killing all Kharaa in our way, almost mechanically. While Bryan was busy with his killing, Mark and I walked in back. I noticed after about ten minutes of walking that Mark was also yet again staring at me. I tried to pretend I didn’t notice. Another ten minutes of walking brought us to our target, the communications computer. It was then that I finally heard Mark and Bryan talk, they said to me “Do your job” almost mechanically. I began tapping the computer, linking it to TSA intelligence so we could hear everything they say, encrypted or not. While I was working, I picked up a signal from another agency, I decided to listen in. “TSA… has overrun… we can’t stop them… stealing our oil… our natural resources… need help… they are slaughtering… women… children… need help…”
It became clear to me. TSA wasn’t a grand corporation working for a better tomorrow. They are just power hungry tyrants killing women and children and controlling other nation’s natural resources much like the Resource accreditation of the bygone era. I then realized what I was doing… I was aiding them. Perhaps because of me, more will suffer and die. What was I doing? What was I to do? I could not run. Obviously Mark and Bryan knew this, if I tried to run, they would kill me with no emotion. I couldn’t kill them with their heavy armor and my weak weaponry. It was then that I heard the click of two pistol hammers. I turned my head to see Mark and Bryan pointing their 10mm’s at me. They told me “Finish”. They must have known I figured out what was happening because my work speed vastly slowed down. Of course, there was nothing I could do, I had to finish or they would kill me. I was a coward; I would not take a bullet to save others. I’m not that brave. Once I finished the link, I would not be able to break it. That would require absolute destruction of the communications computer, which would require high explosives. I finished the link. Mark and Bryan gently released their pistols hammer, and then Bryan beat me over the head with his HMG.
I woke up who knows how long later in pure darkness. I was still right next to the communications computer. I activated my wrist flashlight. I saw that my LMG and 10mm lay right next to me. They haven’t completely disarmed me. I realized that the TSA has left me in this infested institution so that I can die. Even if I did somehow escape, I could not prove what the TSA is doing to these innocent people. I could do nothing. My mind was filled with rage. The feeling of knowing that I could not help those innocent people burned my mind. It was then that one single word echoed inside me over and over, “Revenge”. The fact that I could not help the innocent then became my advantage. It meant I had nothing to lose. The rage inside me benefited me I was ready to draw blood. Off in the darkness, I could hear them crawling around, the Kharaa. I picked up my LMG and 10mm. I had a bandolier full of ammo, so I was ready. I aimed my LMG off into the darkness and fired. I did not stop firing. I could hear their screams. It fed my urge to kill. I kept firing, never even seeing their faces. My LMG then clicked. I reloaded, and then continued firing. When I emptied my second magazine, their crawling noises stopped. I reloaded again and continued down the long dark corridor. I knew what I had to do. With nothing to lose, it would be my duty to take down TSA. That was my primary objective. Then, my secondary objective would be to end the threat to the entire human race, I would have to eliminate the primary Kharaa hive.
TBC
amckern
Comments
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
The rage inside me benefited me I was ready to draw blood.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
try
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
The rage fueled my anger, I took out my weapon in search of blood.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Also, in your last paragraph you started like 70% of the sentences with "I."
[/criticism]
this looks tight
interesting plot twist with the TSA being corrupt and evil
MORE!