Operation Watchtower

reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
edited November 2003 in Fan-Fiction Forum
<div class="IPBDescription">My first (good) NS story</div> If you guys like it let me know, I have more planned but no point in continueing if no one likes it. So heres the first part, hopefully many more, enjoy <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->


I stepped through the light, expecting to see chaos and death, I found nether. I flashed in, and stepped off the portal quickly, having heard stories of what happened to those who lingered to long on the portals. I looked around and the scene was quite calm, the machinery hummed and the turrets stationed at the door made a reassuring beep. Two marines were standing guard at the armory, alert and tense among the seeming calm.
I walked over grabbed two extra clips for my light machine gun and one extra for my pistol; I walked towards the turrets at the door and looked around. They had chosen a good place for our base, only one entrance a large metal door, and no vents, which the aliens loved to hide in. I looked up at the roof which was mostly glass and saw the red sky of the planet; I looked at my display map and saw I was in the top of an observation tower, a good place for our base indeed. ?Soldier move out to your waypoint and meet up with your squad? the commanders voice boomed into my earpiece, on my map a small blue dot appeared. I hit the blue button next to the large metal door and waited as it opened vertically into the roof; I looked out and saw a fairly steep decline of a hallway flatting out to another large metal door. Next to the door I saw my squad, all three of them, I jogged quickly down as they watched me approach. ?Hey about time you got here? said the guy closest to the door ?Enjoying the scenery of our base I would bet?.
?Alright lets get acquainted before we move out, my names Jim; I?ll be your squad leader for this mission. Over here is Kevin and Sara?. I didn?t even notice Sara until Jim pointed her out, and I was surprised I missed her. ?Yea not too many woman in the TSA, but don?t worry she?s our medic, so hopefully no frontline combat for her today.? ?Ah I didn?t know the TSA had medics? I said. ?Well technically we don?t but for larger operations such as these, they come in handy for taking some of the pressure of our commander, not like it takes a medical degree to work a medpack? Jim said with a grin, she gave him a glare. ?Hey just playing around, I hope your that serious when were out on the field? I noticed that Jim had a LMG like mine, Kevin had a large looking shotgun, and Sara had only a pistol and a bag I assumed was filled with medpacks. ?Alright you four enough chit chat, our res base at the south loop is under heavy attack move out to your waypoint and hurry? The commanders voice sounded a bit agitated, I was glad I didn?t have his job. Jim hit the blue button and the door opened. We moved out into a large open room with tables, my map said it was the cafeteria. ?So far so good, let?s move down towards this hall at the end of the room, Kevin watch our six? Jim said, and started towards the hallway. We never even made it halfway there, I heard Kevin?s shotgun go off twice and turned around, two skulks lay dead and one was leaping right towards Kevin. I fired half a clip at it and caught it along the side; I could have sworn some of the bullets bounced off, as it flew into a table. I thought it was dead and started to reload, ?Son of a?? Jim never finished, it leaped off the table into the air, making a high pitched whine and exploded into pieces with a deafening roar. I was flung back as tables and chairs shot up all around me, I remember hearing Sara scream and Kevin?s shotgun go off one last time, then it all went black.
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Comments

  • Jeb_RadecJeb_Radec Join Date: 2002-08-09 Member: 1128Members
    um its pretty good man, the content is decient, maybe i just dont like ur writing style too much but its good, you should keep writing.
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    edited November 2003
    Well heres part two, if you take the time to read it please post a reply, I'm writeing it as I go along so anything you like or don't like I can take into consideration. Enjoy <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

    Part two:

    When I came through I felt pain wash all over my body, then just as quickly as it came it was gone. I opened my eyes, wondering how I could still be alive, and what would happen to me now. Sara was kneeling beside me; a smile crossed her face as she saw me try to stand up. ?Hey now slow down these nanites don?t work that fast.? I looked over and saw Jim, he was crouched down with his LMG at his shoulder, alert and tense, nothing was going to sneak past him. ?Good he?s up, lets get moving this room is to big for us to cover.? ?Wait, where?s Kevin?? I said rubbing the back of my head gingerly.
    ?He didn?t make it? Sara said with a horribly sad look, ?he stepped in front of me and took most of the blast, if it weren?t for him we would all be dead.? Then I looked across the room and saw the ruined body, not even nanotech could hope of saving that. I looked quickly away, ?You?re right let?s get moving.?
    We made it to the hallway entrance untroubled, Jim took a quick look back then hit the button and the door opened, we moved in and the door shut quietly behind us.

    ?Alright our waypoint is down this hallway and then through a room on the left, stay close, and you watch our six? He pointed at me then started down the hallway. I followed looking back every other second, I didn?t see how anything could get behind us in this hallway. We reached the other end safely, by now we could hear faint gunshots and what sounded like screaming. Jim stopped and looked at the door nervously. ?Alright this is it, move quickly into the room on the left, and shoot anything that moves.?

    He hit the button hard and the door slid open. Before he even had a chance to move three spike like objects hammered into his breastplate and knocked him sprawling on the floor. I didn?t hesitate I quickly stepped to the side and put a good 20 shots into the strange spiked structure, Sara did the same emptying her pistol clip into it. The thing exploded showering the area with a runny green liquid. Jim was back on his feet just as it exploded, he looked at his armor, cracked all over but he said he was unhurt, and motioned us quickly into the next room.

    It was covered in a strange moss like fungi, I wanted to stop and observe it for a second but Sara grabbed me by the arm and led me into the room on the left. By now the gunshots and yelling were easy to make out, we rounded a corner and came to a door that was blocked halfway by some tables. We stopped and stared, in a heartbeat a marine popped up from behind the table, and for a second I thought I was dead, he looked scared and I thought he was going to empty his clip into me. He looked at us for a second then lowered his LMG ?good to see you, sorry about that but you?re the first thing to come round that corner that I didn?t have to shoot.? He didn?t seem so scared anymore, he helped us over the blockade, and I looked back and saw a large amount of dried green blood, I supposed, all over the wall. We were quickly ushered to the front line, which turned out to be more tables stacked up on each other. I lost track of Sara who had gone off to help some injured marine.

    The base was small, walls on the left and right with an about 18 foot gap blocked off with tables in the front. In the middle was a res tower and an armory, and some marines were setting up what they said was the second turret factory. I went up to a table and laid down prone next to Jim. We both had our guns mounted in the gap from one table to the other, I looked out, it was a long hallway that extended past my line of sight into darkness, a momentary shiver went down my spine as I thought that something could be watching me from that darkness. I knew how fast they could close the gap of this hallway. I looked over at Jim ?You think these tables are going to stop anything?? ?I know they won?t but don?t worry, nothing should make it that close.? He motioned to the six other marines lying prone around us. ?It?s just like training, think of it as a shooting gallery, where the targets shoot back and bite? He said with one of his trademark grins. He seemed so calm and I was glad he was there, and managing to stay in a good mood after all that had happened so far.

    ?Here they come, take aim for the center!? one of the marines screamed. Then I saw them, six of them two skulks on ether side and four fades in the center. It was the first time I had seen a fade, and I was terrified and repulsed, I knew what they could do, and took aim at the leading ones head. Just as I squeezed the trigger all four fades disappeared into thin air, there was some momentary gun fire as bullets hit where the fades had been and the skulks were dispatched. Then there was a second of uneasy quiet, ?what the hell, where are they??
    Yelled one marine, I looked down the hallway and saw nothing. Then in a flash a clawed foot appeared almost on top of my gun barrel, I threw myself back in horror. The four fades were right on top of us, cutting through the tables in seconds. One of the marines failed to get back in time and was split in half before he could fire off a shot. Jim and I unloaded simultaneously into the nearest fade severing its arms and splitting it open, it let out an almost human like scream and fell to the floor unmoving. I looked for another target but just as quickly as they had come, they were gone.

    Two other marines lied dead on the floor cut nearly in half like the first; they were quickly removed along with the remains of the fade. We went to work setting up what was left of the tables, when the commanders voice rung loud and clear into our ear pieces. ?Good work men, the turret factory is up, build these turrets and we can move into the hive room, it?s time to take this sucker out.? I looked and before my eyes six turrets appeared, I went to work setting up the nearest.
  • AlignAlign Remain Calm Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5216Forum Moderators, Constellation
    Needs more spacing, it makes it hard to read, and the brain automatically skips large chunks of text that look uninteresting(so you have to concentrate quite a bit to read your story.)...
  • JimmehJimmeh Join Date: 2003-08-24 Member: 20173Members, Constellation
    Good story, but i found it hard to read due to lack of paragraphs in the second half
  • zoobyzooby Join Date: 2003-08-26 Member: 20236Members
    very nice.

    yea, what they said. ya gotta hit the enter key twice after every graph.
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    Yea sorry about that, fixed it up <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • noobynooby Join Date: 2003-04-21 Member: 15717Members
    Good story, still need to split it more. I find a good rule to be five or six lines then paragraph unless it splits the mood of a paragraph. You shoiuld do a spell and grammar check too.

    Question: Why didn't one of them pick up the shotgun?
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    edited November 2003
    Heres the next bit, hope you enjoy it.
    As for the shotgun, just assume they wern't trained how to use it, or it broke in the explosion, its a story not a game of NS <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

    Part 3:

    We finished setting up the turrets and walked over to the armory, no one had much to say we all knew what was coming. I took three clips for my LMG and one extra for my pistol. We gathered at the front of the base and waited for our way point.

    Once again I had the feeling eyes were watching me from the darkness at the end of the hall. Something grabbed at my shoulder and I jumped, ?Whoa calm down there just thought I?d check in on you.? I turned around and saw Sara her dark blond hair tied back in pony tail and a slight sheen of sweat across her forehead, she was quite pretty. Then a thought struck me ?You?re not coming to the hive with us our you?? I asked. ?Of course I am why wouldn?t I from what I saw here you guys are going to need me more then an extra gunman.? She was right but I knew I was going to worry about her, I don?t know why I had only just met her, but she had saved my life before in the cafeteria. ?Well just stay back, or on second thought?.stay in the middle? I said with an ironic grin. ?Well thank you commander I?ll keep that in mind? she said and jabbed me with her pistol ?You just watch out for yourself.?

    Jim walked over and looked at me ?ever see a hive before?? ?No? I said. ?Well you?re in for a treat, in fact?? Just then the commanders voice came booming into our earpieces ?Ok men stick together and move out to your waypoint if things get to messy pull back and we can try a siege, try to be quick men, word is they got another hive over on the west side of the complex.? Not very motivating words, a blue dot appeared on our maps and we began to advance down the hall 15 strong. We made it down to the darkened part and turned on our flashlights, bacteria and fungus were growing all over the walls and bursting out of the light fixtures, the smell was horrible.


    The fact that we hadn?t been attacked yet was nerve-racking what were they waiting for, what did they have in store for us? Then I heard a small click and one of the marines yelled out ?**** what the hell was that? he grabbed at his neck which was bleeding slightly. ?Well they all know were here now? Jim moaned ?Lets make a run for the hive before every damn alien in the complex gets here? We did just that sprinting towards our way point unchallenged.

    We neared the hive room; it was so close just around the corner, bacteria was all over the floors and walls. ?Lerk? yelled one of the marines who had rounded the corner; it was too late for him though, the winged creature swooped down and tore into his throat, blood spewed all over the wall. It flew back down the way we came spraying a yellow powder all over us we fired at it but the bullets merely stopped two feet from the barrel.

    Sara ran up toward the marine who was injured and turned him over, almost half his throat was missing, and it seemed he must have lost nearly all his blood in seconds, no pulse of course. Before we had a chance to recover two fades rounded the corner disappeared, and then reappeared in the center of our group, I tried to shoot at them but there were too many marines in my way. They slashed down four before anyone knew what happened. I was trying to aim when the marine in front of me went down; I had a clear shot, ?****? I yelled as I tripped over a fallen marine, I fired my gun on the way down and just nicked the fade in the throat as it came at me.

    It slowed, a deadly mistake as seven marines took aim and cut it to shreds. Its ruined body fell to ground beside me and I quickly got up and away from it. I looked around the second fade was lying on the ground its skull split in half and two combat knifes lodged in its chest.
    Jim bent over and pulled a knife from its side ?I?ll take that back you ****.?


    Sara already had two of the downed marines up again; they had only received slashes to the chest, the other three were not so lucky, cut open from face to scrotum, nothing could save them. We glanced into the hive room, and to our horror we found a marine literally pinned to the wall by spikes, at least seven in his chest, and a good five in his head, if it wasn?t for the armor we wouldn?t have been able to tell. ?Must have run in during the confusion.? Said one marine, ?Alright lets fall back were going to have to use the siege? Jim yelled.

    We moved back into the small room close to the hive chamber. ?Commander we need a turret factory the assault did not work, I have five men down and the hive is heavily guarded? Jim sounded on edge and rightly so, the marine who was killed by the lerk was our squad leader, now command fell upon him. ?Roger that, turret factory on the way, get it up quick, I?m picking up a lot of movement in your area.?

    The turret factory appeared in the center of the room and four marines began working on it instantly. I stood guard outside the room at the beginning of the short hallway that led to the hive; Jim came over and stood next to me. ?I think we can make this work.?

    Just as he said that gunshots erupted in the room, followed by a howl, then strangely enough congratulations, ?What?s going on in there?? Jim yelled ?We got that damn lerk, took its head clean off!? ?Good work men, that turret factory up yet?? ?Affirmative, were waiting for the upgrade.? Jim turned towards me ?So far so good, let?s just hope our luck holds out.?
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    No replys, come on the suspence must be killing you.... <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • zoobyzooby Join Date: 2003-08-26 Member: 20236Members
  • AlignAlign Remain Calm Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5216Forum Moderators, Constellation
  • noobynooby Join Date: 2003-04-21 Member: 15717Members
  • UnknownUnknown Join Date: 1970-01-01 Member:
    Nooo continue or else.... <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • uranium_235uranium_235 Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9478Banned
    Reasa, when someone is talking back and forth, each person talking gets a new paragraph.

    "Hey. How's it going." "Not bad, and you?" "Lost me legs to a skulk..." "Tough luck, eh?"

    SHOULD look like:



    "Hey. How's it going."

    "Not bad, and you?"

    "Lost me legs to a skulk..."

    "Tough luck, eh?"
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    Well I see you want more; I'll have the next bit up before tomorrow night.

    Uranium, I don't read many books that do what you suggest, I'm not going to make it so you can read it easily in a half drunken stupor. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • uranium_235uranium_235 Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9478Banned
    <!--QuoteBegin--reasa+Nov 22 2003, 11:04 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (reasa @ Nov 22 2003, 11:04 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Well I see you want more; I'll have the next bit up before tomorrow night.

    Uranium, I don't read many books that do what you suggest, I'm not going to make it so you can read it easily in a half drunken stupor. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    What kind of books are you reading, comic books? Seperating lines of speech is a rule of the english language.
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    edited November 2003
    Heres the next part, Enjoy.

    “Siege is ready to go commander” Jim boomed into the intercom. “Alright guys lets move out, no mistakes this time were going to take this hive.” We moved down the bacteria encrusted hallway I could hear the sounds of the scanner in the hive room, then a loud and distinctive boom as the siege went off.

    We rounded the corner, the few alien defenses that were left attacked I dived to the ground a spike just missing my head and crawled behind a box. Our squad had fanned out in the room, all the defenses were down, there was a momentary quiet, the eye of the storm.

    The room was huge, my display said it was the cargo bay, boxes were scattered around covered in a thick fungus. I poked my head over the box and rested my LMG on it; there in the center of the room hanging from a large light fixture was the hive. The commanders voice broke the momentary silence “The little **** took down our siege already, two of you watch the rear, the rest of you finish off that hive now!” At that gun fire erupted and the hive began to shutter and squeal, me and another marine, I didn’t know his name were closest to the rear, we kept watch.

    “****!” The marine by my side went down, I could hear a mashing the sound of teeth slicing through armor. I looked down the skulk was on him tearing into his chest, I hesitated I didn’t want to shoot him to kill the beast, but his screams were too much, I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. When I looked again, then dead thing was lying on top of him, red and green blood oozed on the ground. “Medic! I need help here now!”

    I heard a loud splash, green liquid flooded the floor the marines attacking the hive let out a cheer. “Commander hive down, I repeat hive down” I heard Jim say. Sara came running over from behind a box “What’s wrong, oh…I see I’ll try and do what I can.” She didn’t look very hopeful, but I let her get to work without question, and ran over to Jim. “Commander come in, we have the hive requesting a phase gate, and turret factory, if you want us to hold it, Commander, come in.” My stomach lurched, I didn’t need any training to know that was a bad sign. Just then the commanders garbled voice came in “Were…..under…heavy attack….I can give you……the phas…gat..get bak…to base.”


    A dead silence feel over us, I took a quick head count, nine of us not counting the marine that it appeared Sara had just given up on, how could we stop anything that was taking down a base as strong as ours. A phase gate appeared in the center of the room, breaking the silence, “Build that thing, as soon as it’s up we go in one at a time, I’ll go in first, Sara you go in last.” Jim didn’t look to happy about any of this, his voice had an iron edge, no one questioned what he said.

    “Phase up, sir!” a warm yellow glow filled the entire room, “Alright, I don’t know what we’ll find but lets hope it’s not to bad, follow in after me, good luck men.” With that he stepped into the center of the light and disappeared with a flash. Two more marines followed, I checked my gun nervously by mistake I glanced over at the marine Sara couldn’t save, I prayed that would not be my fate. The line thinned, the gate was before me, an almost blinding light, I stepped into it and with a flash I was in another room.


    I had no time to orientate myself, I felt the glass of the gate shatter beneath my feet, I went to fall down but a massive horned head caught me on my side and sent me flying into a wall. My head throbbed, and I could bet one of my ribs was broken, but I stood up. The room I had come into was our base, but it was not the base I had left hours ago.

    Things were torn up, our structures were in pieces on the floor, gunshots were being fired left and right, and a loud constant pounding. My eyes focused and I saw the monstrosity that was the target of every gunshot. It was gigantic, something like a mutant cross between a rhino and an elephant, I had never been told about this creature in training. The bullets seemed to bounce off it as it stomped about the room smashing structures with its large horns, and christ it had tusks to!


    I looked for my LMG but it was no where in sight, I ducked down behind a piece of debris, and got out my pistol. I peaked over the top, the thing threw away the armory that two marines had been hideing behind. It screamed and reared its front legs in the air bringing them down on the two marines, one managed to roll away in time, the other was crushed in a bloody splat.

    The marine who rolled away got to his feet and fired his gun while backing away towards the command center, the last intact structure in the room. I had to do something, I fired my clip into it, all ten shots hitting it directly in the rear, it didn’t even appear to notice. It caught the marine with a vicious swing of its head, its horn cutting him nearly in half and tossing him like a rag doll through the air.

    I reloaded quickly, the thing was advancing on the command center, only slightly hindered by the four marines defending it. I fired my last clip into its rear again, and again no affect the stupid brute had no idea I was there. Just then I had an idea, it was a crazy suicidal idea, but hey “I’m gonna die anyway” I told myself. I grabbed my combat knife, ran out from my cover and ran screaming at the creature.
  • noobynooby Join Date: 2003-04-21 Member: 15717Members
    Go for broke, why not?
  • UnknownUnknown Join Date: 1970-01-01 Member:
    MORE MORE!! I CRAVE MORE!!!! *acts like a druggie that just got fake drugs, like flour or sugar*
  • VigilVigil Join Date: 2003-10-28 Member: 22066Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Uranium, I don't read many books that do what you suggest, I'm not going to make it so you can read it easily in a half drunken stupor. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    I'm having trouble reading it, and I'm sober. Using proper spacing is what makes text actually readable, so, please, do what Uranium asks.
  • ChargeCharge Join Date: 2003-02-05 Member: 13144Members
    MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE
  • UnknownUnknown Join Date: 1970-01-01 Member:
    My precious *snickers* MUST HAVE MORE!!!!!!
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    Right, I'll get the next bit up for you tonight or tomorrow. And I'll try to add more spaces... <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • noobynooby Join Date: 2003-04-21 Member: 15717Members
    Good. We'll have you winning the awards soon. Next bit please.
  • zoobyzooby Join Date: 2003-08-26 Member: 20236Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--reasa+Nov 25 2003, 03:25 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (reasa @ Nov 25 2003, 03:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Right, I'll get the next bit up for you tonight or tomorrow. And I'll try to add more spaces... <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Now i normally don't do this, but

    Arggh!! You lied to us! Someone hack into his computer and retrieve his work, ala valve/halflife2-style!!
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    your story looks good, I like the perspective, you need to work on the spacing just a bit, but thats the universal complaint of the fan-fic forums.

    <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->


    more!
  • reasareasa Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 8010Members, Constellation
    edited December 2003
    OK so I lied to you, I'm sorry. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo--> Thanksgiving was a little hectic and I just celebrated my birthday so It's safe to say I was busy <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> Thank you for all the nice comments I'm very glad you all like the story and want more. So without further ado, I give you more.



    I ran to its leg climbed up to it?s back, I remember it had these tentacles or something growing out of it I used them to hang on. It didn?t even seem to notice, I laid down flat took my combat knife and stabbed it where I thought a spine would be.

    I kept stabbing and digging green blood spurted out from the wound all over my face. The beast had noticed me by now it started swinging me violently, I held on and kept stabbing. Finally it started to scream with a huge swing it slammed its head off the ground and sent me flying into a corner, I hit my head things started to get fuzzy.

    I saw the four marines who were behind the command center run out, they ran to the side of the beast and shot into its gut. It fell and didn?t move again, then I blacked out.

    ?Medpack commander this ones still alive? I felt new life surge into me, I felt little things inside me moving my rib back in place, fusing it back together. I felt the blood rush to my head, then leaving just as quickly taking the pain with it.

    ?That was some stunt you pulled, but I think you saved our lives kid?
    Two marines were standing over me, they helped me up to my feet.
    ?Where?where is it?? I asked them, one pointed to the door
    "We tossed it out there, let it be a warning for the others.?


    I took a look around, the other two marines were trying to build our base back up again, all we had now was the command center and a badly damaged resource tower. ?Here I thought you might want this back, had to dig it out of the thing.? He handed me my very dirty combat knife back.
    ?Thanks?I think?
    ?You?re going to get big props for this kid if we ever get out of here alive.?
    ?Did the commander make it?? I asked, and then his voice came over my speaker.
    ?Yes thanks to you I made it just fine, however your friends at the hive aren?t doing so well, build this phase and I want you three to go in and help them out. We can?t afford to lose that hive.?

    A phase appeared in the center of the room, where the old one had been the two marines by my side started building it. I looked around the room and found my LMG tossed in the corner opposite of where I had been hiding only moments ago. It was a little banged up, I test fired a shot at the wall and it worked fine. ?Phase up!?


    ?Alright you three in you go, I?ll have this base back up before you get back.?
    The two marines stepped in, I followed them, the warm rush of light swept me up again then a second later I was back in the hive room. I stepped off, no one was in the room I started to panic. ?Get over here, keep quiet? They motioned me to a box, I ran behind it.

    ?What?s wrong??
    ?Their all over the place, but they won?t show themselves we can hear them well enough.?
    ?Just stay low and keep an eye out, the commander said he?ll give us some turrets as soon as he can.? I saw Sara and gave her a wry smile, and then a horrible thought hit my mind like a train. Jim?what?how could I have forgotten, that beast killed him?I saw it but my mind was too stunned to register it, I know why I remember now, back with his squad. I moved over to Sara ?What are you doing, keep a watch.? She whispered, I noticed not everyone I left was here behind the box with us, I didn?t ask what happened.
    ?Jims dead? Was all I could manage to say.
    ?Oh...?

    But there was no time for consolation, in the rafters we heard a clicking sound then a screech, three small forms began falling from the high ceiling. No one waited to see what they were exactly we all opened fire. Three dead skulks fell to the floor with a loud distinctive thud.

    One marine got up and ran over to them, ?Well that?s the stupidest thing I?ve ever seen them do scene they started blowing themselves up.?
    He yelled back poking one in the head with his gun barrel. In the blink of an eye something like a deformed water balloon shot across the room colliding with the marines head and explodeing in a shower of green and red liquid. He spun through the air and landed screaming and convulsing on the ground, we looked in horror as his entire face was eaten away, then he went still.

    ?What the **** was that, and where the hell did it come from!? someone yelled. ?I have to go help him? Sara started to get up, I grabbed her arm ?Don?t it?s a trap.?


    (If you don't like the spaceing, tough <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> )
  • zoobyzooby Join Date: 2003-08-26 Member: 20236Members
    ooh nice. I don't see what the problem with spacing is, anyway. Guess what, some authors use a nice -- for dialogue like

    -- That's nice

    while some don't even use quotes

    Come here, he says, let me look at your face.

    No one cares (at least they shouldn't <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
  • aonomusaonomus Dedicated NS Mastermind (no need for school) Join Date: 2003-11-26 Member: 23605Members, Constellation
    You must write more!!!!!!
  • noobynooby Join Date: 2003-04-21 Member: 15717Members
    Where is the rest hmm, making the tension build.
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