Unfortunately, no one can be *told*
coil
Amateur pirate. Professional monkey. All pance. Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 424Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
Amateur pirate. Professional monkey. All pance. Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 424Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
<div class="IPBDescription">What natural selection is.</div>You must experience it for yourself.
Flayra called CmdrFenix (a playtester from the Fists of Ra clan) on the phone to discuss one of the playtest servers; we playtesters entertained ourselves in the meantime.
***************
[20:46] <Plaguebearer> 'Fenix? Do you know who this is?' 'Flayra?' 'Yeeesss. Do you still want to know what the Readyroom is?'
[20:46] <Fam> Monse is the Oracle?
[20:46] <DOOManiac|NS> hahah
[20:46] <Compro> rofl
[20:46] <joev> does he bake cookies?
[20:47] <Plaguebearer> he bakes little hand-grenade shaped cookies
[20:46] <[FoR]PacMan> Pac, we need an exit.
[20:46] <Jacius> "Those are Bobs holding him. 3 of them."
<span style='color:white'>[20:47] <DOOManiac|NS> "They're coming for you Fenix" "who?" "Bobs."</span>
[20:47] <tommyd> 'you take the blue pill, you become a TSA marine, you take the yellow pill, you become a skulk and i show you how deep the hive mind goes'
[20:47] <Compro> "arrgghhh!!!" *crashes through wall hand attacking a skulk*
[20:47] <Plaguebearer> Follow the White Gorge.
[20:47] <[FoR]PacMan> Nobody has ever beaten a lvl 5. We have survived by running from them, but they are the gate keepers.
[20:48] <[FoR]PacMan> They are holding all the nodes, and they have all the upgrades.
[20:48] <KFS[WatchingNU|PSUGame]> There is no ak47.
<span style='color:white'>[20:48] <Plaguebearer> 'What, are you telling me i can wallhack?' "Nooooo, Fenix, I'm telling you that when you play NS, you won't need to.'</span>
[20:49] <citixen> What good is a voice-com Mr. Fenix when you are no longer able to speak?
[20:52] <[FoR]PacMan> 'What do you need?' 'HMG's, lots of HMGs!'
[20:50] <Plaguebearer> 'How did you do that?' "What?" 'You move like a Lerk does. I've never seen anyone move that fast.' "Jetpack."
[20:51] <tommyd> "what did you see? i saw a black skulk, and then another just like it. the deja vu is a glitch in the server. they've changed something."
[20:51] <[FoR]PacMan> 'Were you listening to me? Or were you looking at the marine in the red dress? Look again.'
[20:51] <Compro> *level 5 uncloaks by marine in red dress*
<!--EDIT|coil|Sep. 14 2002,21:01-->
Flayra called CmdrFenix (a playtester from the Fists of Ra clan) on the phone to discuss one of the playtest servers; we playtesters entertained ourselves in the meantime.
***************
[20:46] <Plaguebearer> 'Fenix? Do you know who this is?' 'Flayra?' 'Yeeesss. Do you still want to know what the Readyroom is?'
[20:46] <Fam> Monse is the Oracle?
[20:46] <DOOManiac|NS> hahah
[20:46] <Compro> rofl
[20:46] <joev> does he bake cookies?
[20:47] <Plaguebearer> he bakes little hand-grenade shaped cookies
[20:46] <[FoR]PacMan> Pac, we need an exit.
[20:46] <Jacius> "Those are Bobs holding him. 3 of them."
<span style='color:white'>[20:47] <DOOManiac|NS> "They're coming for you Fenix" "who?" "Bobs."</span>
[20:47] <tommyd> 'you take the blue pill, you become a TSA marine, you take the yellow pill, you become a skulk and i show you how deep the hive mind goes'
[20:47] <Compro> "arrgghhh!!!" *crashes through wall hand attacking a skulk*
[20:47] <Plaguebearer> Follow the White Gorge.
[20:47] <[FoR]PacMan> Nobody has ever beaten a lvl 5. We have survived by running from them, but they are the gate keepers.
[20:48] <[FoR]PacMan> They are holding all the nodes, and they have all the upgrades.
[20:48] <KFS[WatchingNU|PSUGame]> There is no ak47.
<span style='color:white'>[20:48] <Plaguebearer> 'What, are you telling me i can wallhack?' "Nooooo, Fenix, I'm telling you that when you play NS, you won't need to.'</span>
[20:49] <citixen> What good is a voice-com Mr. Fenix when you are no longer able to speak?
[20:52] <[FoR]PacMan> 'What do you need?' 'HMG's, lots of HMGs!'
[20:50] <Plaguebearer> 'How did you do that?' "What?" 'You move like a Lerk does. I've never seen anyone move that fast.' "Jetpack."
[20:51] <tommyd> "what did you see? i saw a black skulk, and then another just like it. the deja vu is a glitch in the server. they've changed something."
[20:51] <[FoR]PacMan> 'Were you listening to me? Or were you looking at the marine in the red dress? Look again.'
[20:51] <Compro> *level 5 uncloaks by marine in red dress*
<!--EDIT|coil|Sep. 14 2002,21:01-->
Comments
[20:49] <DOOManiac|NS> <Flayra> We shall go to, the readyroom! <Merks> Readyroom? <Greedo386> Readyroom! <coil> Readyroom! <Monse> its only a model...
[20:52] <KFS[WatchingNU|PSUGame]> "I hearby order you to..." *Raaaaawwrrr!!* "Charlie Cleveland!" "Run away!"
[20:51] <DOOManiac|NS> "there!" "what? behind the skulk?" "it IS the skulk!" "you mean that little skulk there" "he's a demonic creature, with big pointy teeth!!!"
[20:51] <KFS[WatchingNU|PSUGame]> fetchez l'onos!
[20:51] <KFS[WatchingNU|PSUGame]> quoi?
[20:51] <KFS[WatchingNU|PSUGame]> Fetchez l'onos!!
[20:52] <DOOManiac|NS> "we found a gorge! BURN HER!"
<!--EDIT|coil|Sep. 14 2002,20:50-->
[20:52] <Plaguebearer> LUKE... I... AM YOUR COMMANDER!
[20:52] <Plaguebearer> nooooooooooooooo
--Scythe--
the_only_scythe@subdimension.com
Good stuff. Although I don't recognize what movie the second group is parodying. Maybe I'm dense.
Oh, I assume this appeared in IRC. I don't want to be a bother, but I seem to have some trouble getting anyone to appear for me in #naturalselection. I know, I know, I'm an idiot, but forgive me this once, please.
Edit: Bozman, you were right on the nose...I was on the wrong server. I figured it out just before coming back to this post, inteding to delete my last comment before anyone realized how stupid I can be, but you beat me to it.
-Ryan!
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
-- Henry Cate VII
Villager: She turned me into a skulk!
*pause*
Villager: Well, I got better.
****************************************
Flayra: Old Woman!
Villager: Man!
Flayra: Man, sorry. Who lives in that command console over there?
Villager: Im thirty seven.
Flayra: What?
Villager: Im thirty seven. I'm not old!
Flayra: Well I can just say "man".
Villager: Well you could say Dennis.
Flayra: Well I didn't know you were called Denis.
Dennis: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
Flayra: I did say sorry about the old woman, but from behind-
Dennis: What I object to is you treating me like an inferior!
Flayra: Well, I am the commander...
Dennis: Oh, commander eh, very nice. An' how'd you get to be? By exploitin' the other marines, by 'anging on to outdated militaristic dogma which perpetuates the economic and militaristic differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progresss-
Woman: Dennis, theres some lovely filth down here. Oh, how d'ya do?
Flayra: How do you do, good lady. I am Flayra, commander of the marines. Whose command console is that?
Woman: Commander of who?
Flayra: The marines.
Woman: Who are the marines?
Flayra: Well, we all are. We're all marines and I am your commander.
Woman: I didn't know we had a commander. I thought we were and autonomous division.
Dennis: You're fooling yourself. We live in a dictatorship. A self perepetuating autocracy in which the working marines-
Woman: Oh there you go, bringing marines into it again
Dennis: That's what it's all about if only people would-
Flayra: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that command console?
Woman: No one lives there.
Flayra: Then who is your commander?
Woman: We don't have a commander.
Flayra: What?
Dennis: I told you. We're an anarcho syndicalistic platoon. We take turns to act as a sort of executive commander for the week.
Flayra: Yes.
Dennis: But all the decisions of that commander have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
Flayra: Yes, I see.
Dennis: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs, -
Flayra: Be quiet!
Dennis: -but by a two thirds majority in the case of more-
Flayra: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Woman: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?
Flayra: I am you commander!
Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Flayra: You don't vote for commanders.
Woman: Well, 'ow did you become the king then.
Flayra: The Lady of the Lake (singing), Her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, spawned me next to the command console signifying by Divine Providence that I, Flayra, was to command (stop singing). That is why I am your commander!
Dennis: Listen- strange women lying in ponds spawning people is no basis for a system of leadership. Surpreme power derives from a mandate for the masses, not from so farcical aquaitc ceremony.
Flayra: Be quiet!
Dennis: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart stuck you at a spawn point!
Flayra: Shut up!
Dennis: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was commander just because some moistened bink had lobben a console near me they'd put me away!
Flayra: Shut up! Will you shut up!
Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
Flayra: Shut up!
Dennis: Oh! Come see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
Flayra: Bloody marine!
Dennis: Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you hear that, eh? Thats what I'm on about- did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you?
Marine 2: Yeah, whatever, i dont care.
<b>*CHOMP*</b> <b>*CHOMP*</b> <b>*CHOMP*</b>
Skulk: Me kill u next!
Marine 2: Yeah, whatever, i dont care.
<b>*CHOMP*</b> <b>*CHOMP*</b>
Marine 3: Hey skulk, cut that s*** out! Marine 2 had a hard day today.
Skulk: Me kill u all next!
Marine 2: Riiiiight. Yeah, whatever.
Skulk: ME KILL U ALL!
Marine 2: *BOOM* <b>*SpLaTtEr*</b> *click-ic*
Marine 2: Dun bug me. Im thinkin'.
Onos: Oh that's great, i'm sure chocolate in the cryogenic system really ups the resale value.
Marine: You don't have to worry, they have a thin candy shell. Surprised you didn't knwo that.
Onos: I think your head is covered by a thick candy shell.
Marine: Well... your head has the... shell on it!
Onos: Did yo say somthing?
Marine: Shut up Fam
Funniest NS thread i've ever read. Makes me want to form a clan called 'the knights who say Bob'.
<!--EDIT|ChromeAngel|Sep. 15 2002,20:19-->
i dont know if anyone answered this already since i only looked through the first page of the topic.
its a parody of Star Wars
The third group is a parody of Star Wars. The second group is Monty Python, I am told.
Maybe I should make it a Blockbuster night.
-Ryan!
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-- Pablo Picasso
(pardon me for any butchering, my memory is a bit hazy of this particular scene)
Comander: Now, these gunshot wounds on this skulk tell you two things. What are they?
Marine A: They shot him at a downward angle... its hullsize is only that of a crouched marine!
Comm: Good, what else?
Marine B: They... shot him at a downward angle?
Comm: *sigh*
Marine C: There were two marines.
Comm: Yes!
Marine B: Now wait, huh?
Comm: The angle of the wounds means that a single marine would have had to hold an HMG in each hand, and #### his elbows out to the side. Now, two marines standing right next to eachother could have held their HMGs with 2 hands and angled towards the middle of the skulk. Which do you think is more likely?<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Greedo=WINNAR!
/me bakes a batch of cookies for Greedo.
I like the dialogue...
-Ryan!
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
-- Emo Phillips
Marine 1: Flarya's always got rope...
Marine 2: Allright, go get your stupid ****ing rope...
[twong]
[baaaa]
Holy Healthkit!
[thud]
HIVE GUARD: Allo, dappy human k-niggets and Monsieur Evil, who has the brain of a duck, you know. So, we Fade fellows outwit you a second time!
EVIL: How dare you profane this place with your umbra! I command you, in the name of the TSA, to open the webs of this sacred hive, to which Flayra Himself has guided us!
HIVE GUARD: How you humans say, 'I one more time, mac, unclog my snout in your direction', sons of a console-dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us Fade folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior?! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric Onos-bottom biters.
EVIL: In the name of the Commander, we demand entrance to this sacred hive!
HIVE GUARD: No chance, human armor-wetting types. I burst my lesions at you and call your web-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other marine's bottoms!
EVIL: If you do not open this web, we shall take this hive by force!
[splat]
In the name of Flayra and the glory of our--
[splat]
HIVE GUARDS: [laughing]
EVIL: Agh. Right! That settles it!
HIVE GUARD: Yes, depart a lot at this time, and cut the approaching any more or we fire parasites at the tops of your heads and make babblers out of your testicles already! Ha ha haaa ha!
EVIL: Walk away. Just ignore them.
HIVE GUARD: And now, remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! And, if you think you got a nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet, dappy human k-nnniggets! Thpppt!
(Don't take that personally, MonsE. <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo--> )
***Marine dropships swoops by and the turret mounted on the under side shots the hisorian***
***Historian's wife runs up to his corpse weeping.***
Makes sense, and I figured that, seeing as how it's in his damn signature and he mentioned it so much in that picture thread we had before.. <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->
Commander: WEll, it's sort of like the 7/11 stores...
It's not always doing business, but it's aaaaalways open.
DOOM now officially=1337.
EDIT: Surge... my "Damn" signature?
*singing*
We're marines, marines with guns!
Good guns!
We run around the spaceship fraggin for fun!
We maaay look like stormies (stormtroopers)
But don't get us wrong, or our turret'll punch out your lights!