Two Strange Stories
<div class="IPBDescription">Funny...</div> I wrote these two stories in school during one physics lesson. The first one is not so funny, but the second one is mutch better. Enjoy!
The way to victory.
Both sides stood on the opposite sides of the field. Each one ready to attack. Each one ready to defend. And each one was eager to use their weapons. On one side sttod the greenskins. The Orcs, with their axes and swords, surrounded by a river of goblins, and gretchins. On the other side stood the long rows of Chaos Warriors. In their heavy armour, enscripted with unknown runes, and with large weapons of different kind. Shouts where heard from both sides, curses and simple words. ”Come here you horned freak!” came from one side. While from the other ”Wanna taste my steel?!”. And so they stood there. Days went on. But no one gave up the fight. When finally both sides charged. They ran on each other. When suddenly the orks turned to run. The Chaos army stopped and looked at each other with surprise. Then they heard something from behind and so decided to turn around, and found a tornadoe going their way. You can guess the rest...
The Orkish cook book (Recept no. 567)
How to prepare a Maggot stake...
The Tv flashed on. First came the title: ”Cook talent night”. And then the Hobbit presenter introduced the contestants. Ther was an Elf (the winner of the past contests), a human, and obviously an Ork (that usually got the last place) Each contestant had 15min to prepare some meal. Than the Jury would taste each one and introduce the winner. The clock started ticking. The camera first showed the elf, that prepared some strange meal. Than they showed the human who obviously prepared some type of pork. And they showed the ork... and well... errr... well going on. When all the meals were ready, then came the Jury. First they came to the elf. Obviously the comments were: ”Hmmm, Good food. Correct ingrideants. Etc.” Then they came to the Human: ”Yes... too many spices, and this fat...” (one member of the jury was taken off to hospital, because of food poison) And then came the time for the Orkish meal. It actually looked good, smelled... nice. And the Jury was surprised wit hits taste. The Ork won the contest. And because it won it could give the name of the meal, and how to prepare it. The Ork started.” Well, First you take a fat maggot (The jury looked at the Ork), you cut off its head, you chop it into slices, (The jury started to turn green themselves) and fry it, adding some spice!” What continued was a series of strange sound and something pouring all over the floor... (no comments)
Note: Prepare this only on your own responsibility.
The way to victory.
Both sides stood on the opposite sides of the field. Each one ready to attack. Each one ready to defend. And each one was eager to use their weapons. On one side sttod the greenskins. The Orcs, with their axes and swords, surrounded by a river of goblins, and gretchins. On the other side stood the long rows of Chaos Warriors. In their heavy armour, enscripted with unknown runes, and with large weapons of different kind. Shouts where heard from both sides, curses and simple words. ”Come here you horned freak!” came from one side. While from the other ”Wanna taste my steel?!”. And so they stood there. Days went on. But no one gave up the fight. When finally both sides charged. They ran on each other. When suddenly the orks turned to run. The Chaos army stopped and looked at each other with surprise. Then they heard something from behind and so decided to turn around, and found a tornadoe going their way. You can guess the rest...
The Orkish cook book (Recept no. 567)
How to prepare a Maggot stake...
The Tv flashed on. First came the title: ”Cook talent night”. And then the Hobbit presenter introduced the contestants. Ther was an Elf (the winner of the past contests), a human, and obviously an Ork (that usually got the last place) Each contestant had 15min to prepare some meal. Than the Jury would taste each one and introduce the winner. The clock started ticking. The camera first showed the elf, that prepared some strange meal. Than they showed the human who obviously prepared some type of pork. And they showed the ork... and well... errr... well going on. When all the meals were ready, then came the Jury. First they came to the elf. Obviously the comments were: ”Hmmm, Good food. Correct ingrideants. Etc.” Then they came to the Human: ”Yes... too many spices, and this fat...” (one member of the jury was taken off to hospital, because of food poison) And then came the time for the Orkish meal. It actually looked good, smelled... nice. And the Jury was surprised wit hits taste. The Ork won the contest. And because it won it could give the name of the meal, and how to prepare it. The Ork started.” Well, First you take a fat maggot (The jury looked at the Ork), you cut off its head, you chop it into slices, (The jury started to turn green themselves) and fry it, adding some spice!” What continued was a series of strange sound and something pouring all over the floor... (no comments)
Note: Prepare this only on your own responsibility.
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