Redemption

CrematorCremator Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 27Members
in Fan-Fiction Forum
I've been pretty sick early this week, too sick to even map.  So instead, I quickly wrote up some fan fiction to give some plot to my map, ns_redemption.  It's short, but sweet.  Please tell me what you think.  I included the text file.
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Comments

  • pielemuispielemuis Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 72Members, NS1 Playtester
    nice Cremator, few spelling mistakes, but nobody's perfect <!--emo&:p--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/tounge.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':p'><!--endemo-->
    Good story, only thing is that it's wierd that the Royal Navy doesn't lend them any support, or that those truckers on that planet did so well, during that infestation.
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  • Shuvit_ViperShuvit_Viper Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 62Members
    yep its really a nice story. i think the truckers managed to live above the aliens 'in peace with them' not confronting each other that much. Then the attacks came and the marines went in to kill the hives, and that is what made the aliens so aggresive
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  • CrematorCremator Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 27Members
    thanks for the compliments!  i've never been much of a writer, so i wasn't sure if it would pass...
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  • CyonProCyonPro Join Date: 2002-02-02 Member: 154Members
    Great story, I don't like long reads so this was just perfect for me (I even read it out loud and it didn't take that long.....don't ask <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->). The method of using a character as the narrator is effective, and the situation is quite original. Besides the few mechanical errors, this story should prove to be a nice backstory to the map.
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  • FlayraFlayra Game Director, Unknown Worlds Entertainment San Francisco Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 3Super Administrators, NS2 Developer, Subnautica Developer
    Great work, Cremator.  Next time, just run the spellchecker and it will be even better.

    There's a GREAT line in here, that's good enough to use as the line on the cover (assuming NS ever has a cover):

    "We've got the guns, and they've got everything else."

    I love this.  The story was bleak, but it made me cackle with glee.  Nice.
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  • GreedoGreedo Bounty Hunter Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 37Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    This story was nice.  I liked the different style of narration you had going.  I would have liked a bit more character development or action, though.


    (Sorry to bring up old posts, but I'm just now making my way through this forum)
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