Validictorian Speach

FrostyFrosty Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15667Members
Hey everybody, guess what, i am the validictorian of my high school (that means i have the highest GPA)

anyway the validictorian traditionaly gives a graduation speach. mine is all written and done and dandy, however i would like to get comments and thoughts from people who dont know me and wont be there. you know a completely unbiased opinion.
anywho here it is


Ladies and Gentlemen, distinguished faculty, one time students, and of course my fellow classmates in the red caps, I am honored to be here before you today. This is our graduation! Thirteen years of teachers, classrooms, and books, four of them in this building. We have traveled together through these halls a countless number of times. We have often crossed paths to speak of the weather, sports, favorite movies, gossip, once in a while we even went to class. And as one part of our lives becomes the next, I would like to say a few words.

Life is a journey, we acquire days and years as miles and leagues. From here we go on to our respective universities, jobs, and destinations unknown. One day we may even travel upon that legendary path they call “the real world.” There those among us who have already passed unto this real world of which people speak, and several that only think they have, and many, many more who are just beginning their transition from easy street to the world of real, who knows, there may even be a fortunate one or two out there that will never have to walk that path. Regardless we will all continue on our journey, passing little signs like paydays, parties, illnesses, and vacations. Occasionally we will pass massive billboards, like graduation, homeownership, marriage, and children. In the past we have changed our minds and had to change direction, nothing wrong with that, and in the future we may become lost and have to ask for direction, don’t worry it happens to the best of us. When lost it could even be the person standing next to you today that loans you their map. After all, the friends you forge on your way are with you ever after, even when you no longer share the same path. However, today our paths begin to diverge; some of our eyes are fixed on the express lane, ready to hop into the maelstrom and whiz by, wind in their hair. Others prefer the scenic rout, picking a wildflower and savoring the fragrance. But whether you take the highway or the road less traveled, your life is more than your location, it’s more than your destination, life is a journey, and we’ve been traveling it longer than we remember. Thirteen years of schooling behind us, and a lifetime of education still to come. We have traveled our paths together, and we have grown, and as the world is a small, small place, I’m sure we will travel together at least once more before it all ends. So until our paths meat again, farewell.
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Comments

  • pardzhpardzh Join Date: 2002-10-25 Member: 1601Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Frosty+May 20 2004, 03:00 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Frosty @ May 20 2004, 03:00 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Hey everybody, guess what, i am the validictorian of my high school (that means i have the highest GPA) <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    The irony is just raging here. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    Lower the register; it's too formal. I realise you will only know some of those you're speaking to, but hey, people will like the speech better if you seem a bit more casual and remove the distancing.

    Apart from that, it's fine <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TorgoTorgo Join Date: 2002-12-30 Member: 11626Members
    Sound a bit too generic...

    and metaphors are good when used sparingly...too much "life is a journey on the road" references.

    Other than most of it, it was really super.
  • DubbilexDubbilex Chump Join Date: 2002-11-24 Member: 9799Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Duff-Man+May 20 2004, 03:02 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Duff-Man @ May 20 2004, 03:02 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Frosty+May 20 2004, 03:00 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Frosty @ May 20 2004, 03:00 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Hey everybody, guess what, i am the validictorian of my high school (that means i have the highest GPA) <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    The irony is just raging here. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Math and gym are important classes too <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • docchimpydocchimpy Join Date: 2003-07-19 Member: 18266Members
    edited May 2004
    It just seems so...generic and conformist. If I was my high school valedictorian (Which I won't be) I'd mock the people on my hit list, insult the intelligence of most people, and generally be a real jerk. But the only valedictorians I've ever seen always spout the same inane stuff. It's a nice speech, but suffers from "the same as every valedictorian speech ever given in the history of mankind" syndrome. You should tell it like it is- remind them that most of them will end up at dead end jobs supporting their family, up to their eyeballs in debt until the peaceful oblivion that is death claims their being. This might explain why nobody ever claps at my speeches...

    EDIT: GG frosty for becoming Valedictorian!
  • FrostyFrosty Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15667Members
    i didnt take a gym exept freshman year, but i was captain of the wrestling team if that helps...


    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->It just seems so...generic and conformist. If I was my high school valedictorian (Which I won't be) I'd mock the people on my hit list, insult the intelligence of most people, and generally be a real jerk. But the only valedictorians I've ever seen always spout the same inane stuff. It's a nice speech, but suffers from "the same as every valedictorian speech ever given in the history of mankind" syndrome. You should tell it like it is- remind them that most of them will end up at dead end jobs supporting their family, up to their eyeballs in debt until the peaceful oblivion that is death claims their being. This might explain why nobody ever claps at my speeches...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    i thought about it, deaply, however, my folks would kill me if i did (my original speach was "see ya later suckas!," needless to say, if i went through with that one, i would be the definition of not getting money from the folks, ever.). Dont wory though, there will be much mocking at other times, in an award cerimony earlier i told everyone i going to study global conquest <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> .
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Members
    I'd take the Al Franken aproach, tell them the truth (that they have no real futures and that the first 18 or so best years of their lives have been wasted away and all that is in front of them is a life of toil, pain, and eventual death), but make em laugh about it. Be like "As I look out here at all these shining faces, it strikes me that perhaps only a quarter of you will ever make anything of yourselves, and that makes me very happy because that's still a helluvalot better than most of the country" or "Now that you've graduated high school you're only several failed oil businesses and a few million of daddy's money to being president!" you get the idea.
  • OttoDestructOttoDestruct Join Date: 2002-11-08 Member: 7790Members
    Stand up, grab the mic, walk over to the saludatorian (sp?), and very loudly:

    <span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>YOU GOT SERVED! BOOYAKA!</span>
  • Umbraed_MonkeyUmbraed_Monkey Join Date: 2002-11-25 Member: 9922Members
    Reenact the all-your-base thing and get your arse kicked by geeks and jocks alike!
  • NuketheplaceNuketheplace Join Date: 2002-09-02 Member: 1266Members
    Honestly you should include something about ns in your speech, maybe something like some of us will hover with out faping or we all encounter clorfs on our way to the lorks.
  • SnidelySnidely Join Date: 2003-02-04 Member: 13098Members
    "I feel it is my duty to be honest. None of you have a chance at life. None of you will know love or compassion. I know this, because...

    ...I have planted a bomb. Goodbye."

    <i>Click</i>






    That's what I wanted to do when I was at school. God, I hated that dump.
  • NarfwakNarfwak Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5258Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, Playtest Lead, Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Gold, Reinforced - Diamond, Reinforced - Shadow, Subnautica PT Lead, NS2 Community Developer
    <!--QuoteBegin-AllUrHiveRBelong2Us+May 20 2004, 02:50 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (AllUrHiveRBelong2Us @ May 20 2004, 02:50 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"Now that you've graduated high school you're only several failed oil businesses and a few million of daddy's money to being president!"<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'><b>****ING GOLD.</b></span>
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    I'm sure in other countries, the Valedictoran can <i>spell</i>. Not just spell valedictorian, but also words like "speech" and "traditionally." Oh well. Congrats on getting a nice GPA. I wouldn't sweat the speech too much: unless you do something stupid everyone (including you) will have forgotten it in a week.
  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    I am sorry, when we got our speech for this when I graduated, the speech was the same monotone boring dribble. I don't think anyone really cared much past the 2nd metaphor.

    Try and spice it up, a few *good* jokes and such, just so it doesnt put the crowd to sleep <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • FrostyFrosty Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15667Members
    most realy smart people have some sort of flaw, mine is spelling, and im bad with dates....

    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I am sorry, when we got our speech for this when I graduated, the speech was the same monotone boring dribble. I don't think anyone really cared much past the 2nd metaphor.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    worry not mi amigo, i stoped speaking in monotone in my sophmore year. there shall be both essence and flare in the reading.
  • docchimpydocchimpy Join Date: 2003-07-19 Member: 18266Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Narfwak+May 20 2004, 04:46 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Narfwak @ May 20 2004, 04:46 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-AllUrHiveRBelong2Us+May 20 2004, 02:50 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (AllUrHiveRBelong2Us @ May 20 2004, 02:50 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"Now that you've graduated high school you're only several failed oil businesses and a few million of daddy's money to being president!"<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'><b>****ING GOLD.</b></span> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Yes, I suppose several failed gold buisnesses would work too.

    Anyway, do something risque. This is the LAST time these people will be sitting together with the majority, if not the entireity of their class. Make it something to remember. BTW, where do you go? Maybe we could come watch you give your speech <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • FrostyFrosty Join Date: 2003-04-20 Member: 15667Members
    Crestview high, Florida. we're right next to the redneck capital of the worldon one side and a very large air force base on the other, so lots of realy top of the line smart guys, and lots of botom of the barrel ijits, which gives us a smaller middle group than most i think.
  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Frosty+May 20 2004, 08:00 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Frosty @ May 20 2004, 08:00 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->[speech]<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <img src='http://www.kcpublications.com/images/death_valley-lone_sagebrus.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
  • WheeeeWheeee Join Date: 2003-02-18 Member: 13713Members, Reinforced - Shadow
  • TestamentTestament Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4037Members
    Just don't give one. Go against what everyone wants you to do, say "Screw you losers, I'm gone!" and walk off.

    It's what I'd do.
  • Ashaman_JoeAshaman_Joe Join Date: 2003-11-11 Member: 22559Members, Constellation
    "I'm sure most of you don't know me or care who I am. Most of you are thinking 'when will this loser get off the stage'. The answer, friends, is right now. So long, suckas!" <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Wheeee+May 20 2004, 05:55 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Wheeee @ May 20 2004, 05:55 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> ouch, harsh <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Indeed. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • EEKEEK Join Date: 2004-02-25 Member: 26898Banned
    Since this is your first, and only time you'll get to do this, might as well make it count. Let me be honest: If your speech is long and thoughtful, ****, the only thing everyone wants to do then is grab their diploma and run. I didn't listen to a thing our Valedictorian said (considering her speech was about 15 minutes long, and it was driving freezing-cold rain didn't help), and the Saledictorian? Ha!

    Spice it up. Relate some inside jokes from your high school year (this is for high school, right?), relate some funny stories, and end on a high note. I just find what you have too generic and cliche.
  • EEKEEK Join Date: 2004-02-25 Member: 26898Banned
    <!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+May 20 2004, 05:43 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ May 20 2004, 05:43 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Frosty+May 20 2004, 08:00 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Frosty @ May 20 2004, 08:00 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->[speech]<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <img src='http://www.kcpublications.com/images/death_valley-lone_sagebrus.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' /> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I live there, you know <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • BurrBurr Join Date: 2002-11-19 Member: 9358Members
    throw in a "all your base are belong to us line" in there somewhere!
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    As many others have suggested, 1) shorten it 2) Make it not the generic boring speech they're expecting.

    I say make em laugh. Then people won't just be watching the second hand of the walk tick by till you stop talking.
  • camO_ocamO_o Join Date: 2004-04-19 Member: 28028Members
    i agree with most people - the speech seems too standard, and sounds like something you'd hear in a "Legally Dumb" etc. the first paragraph starts out great (if not especially cheesy), but the rest is an unneccessarily long extension of the "life is a journey" metaphor. you can only milk the cow so much before the cow kicks you in the face. my suggestion is to take a more casual approach to the speech. keep in mind that speeches aren't papers, write them as if you're actually talking to your classmates.

    try starting out your speech with a joke, and closing with something dramatic. try to relate to your friends and avoid sounding pompus (use "normal" vocab etc). write it as if it meant something to you... whether it does or doesn't. don't rewrite the whole thing, just try removing some of the life-journey stuff and talk a little bit about experiences in high school.

    also, please don't ****. just because someone has a high GPA does not neccessarily mean they're the greatest writer in the world - it means they've worked harder then most to excel in their classes, and probably made a lot more effort into getting there then you did in googling down some image of dustweed in order to reaffirm your superiority over someone on the internet. congratulations.
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    One more thing, since you're writing to high school seniors, be sure to keep the speech at a 6th grade level.
  • Umbraed_MonkeyUmbraed_Monkey Join Date: 2002-11-25 Member: 9922Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Burr+May 20 2004, 07:48 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Burr @ May 20 2004, 07:48 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> throw in a "all your base are belong to us line" in there somewhere! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I beat you to it...and put it to much further extremes too <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • JavertJavert Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15954Members
    Not bad.

    You may want to add in a sense of humor. Where's the YOU in this speech. This is YOUR moment on the podium so come out there and I'd like to see your style.
    Conformity/=boredom. You can spread moderately positive messages and still get away with some stuff that have graduates cheering.
    Isn't it kinda short? I don't know, our valedictorian gave a long arse one. You may want to take out the marriage, having kids-part, kinda depressing to me at least. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
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