Food! Share Your Cooking Secrets
<div class="IPBDescription">Natural Selection Gourmet Course 101</div> <Nick Riviera voice>
Hi everybody!
</Nick Riviera voice>
I just thought that I'm sort of getting bored of the stuff I'm cooking from week to week, and thought that I'd like to try something different. Unfortunately, cook books are prohibitively expensive, and also annoyingly conservative (atleast here in Finland), so I can't try out anything more exotic because all they offer here are recipes for meatballs and oven baked fish. That's why I thought I'd turn to the NS community for a helping hand, so...
What do you cook at home for yourself, or your SO/family? Macaroni and cheese? Mutton tandoori? Fillet Mignon? Share with me the ingredients and the size of the portion (ie. how many people is it intended for). All kinds of stuff from snacks to dessert sweets to wedding cakes is welcome.
To help things get started, I'm offering a good recipe for pork & beef chili (with a vegetarian alternative) for about 3 to 4 people, so here you go:
Ingredients:
400 grams of sliced pork
400 grams of sliced beef (replace these with tofu if you're not carnivorous)
2-3 fresh tomatos
1 can of pureed tomato (a small 70 gram can will do)
1 can of hacked tomatos (a peasoup sized can of about 400 grams is ideal)
fresh chilis (the amount varies depending on size and fieriness, and your tastes of course - I use 6-8 medium sized, fiery peppers for a good kick)
4 cloves of garlic
beans - if you like them
1 whole fresh onion
various spices (I prefer mixed groud pepper, ground bell pepper and salt)
spaghetti
a small bottle of red wine (optional)
Put a kettle with water on the stove and heat until boiling, then drop the fresh chilis in. Let them boil for about 20-30 minutes, depending on size, or until so soft that a fork can pierce them easily. Then lift them out, cut the ends away (do please be careful to keep the seeds, they are what makes it hot) and strip the peels away with your fingers. If the chili doesn't peel easily, or the peel rips the flesh of the vegetable along with it, boil it some more until it does. Then cut the peeled chilis into 1 inch bits.
Now, cut the centers away from the tomatos. This is done by cutting a circle along the top of the tomato around the core, then cutting a small X on the bottom of the tomato, then pushing the circular cut with your thumb until the core comes out through the cut in the bottom. Place the tomatos into boiling water, let boil for about 5 minutes, then remove and peel just like the chilis.
Cut the cloves of garlic and the onion into small bits. Then heat a pan and fry the beef and the pork. Add salt and spices to your tastes after frying. Now put the fried meat into a cast iron pot, put the pot on the stove at a very low heat setting, and place the cut onion and garlic in the pot with the meat. Now put the can of hacked tomatos, the can of pureed tomatos and the peeled fresh tomatos into the pot and stir well. Then apply the chilis and stir some more. At this point, you may pour a glass or a glass and a half of red wine into the pot to add some taste.
Then comes the boring part: put the lid on the pot and let it simmer on slow heat for 2-3 hours, until the meat is so tender and soft it practically melts away in your mouth. Then cook some spaghetti to go with it and you are done. Enjoy! Best served with a bagel and liberal amounts of beer or coke.
For a vegetarian alternative, put everything else into the pot except for the meat (duh), let simmer for about 20-30 minutes, then fry some tofu on a pan and add it in. Tasteh.
Now, time to share your secrets. Vamos!
Hi everybody!
</Nick Riviera voice>
I just thought that I'm sort of getting bored of the stuff I'm cooking from week to week, and thought that I'd like to try something different. Unfortunately, cook books are prohibitively expensive, and also annoyingly conservative (atleast here in Finland), so I can't try out anything more exotic because all they offer here are recipes for meatballs and oven baked fish. That's why I thought I'd turn to the NS community for a helping hand, so...
What do you cook at home for yourself, or your SO/family? Macaroni and cheese? Mutton tandoori? Fillet Mignon? Share with me the ingredients and the size of the portion (ie. how many people is it intended for). All kinds of stuff from snacks to dessert sweets to wedding cakes is welcome.
To help things get started, I'm offering a good recipe for pork & beef chili (with a vegetarian alternative) for about 3 to 4 people, so here you go:
Ingredients:
400 grams of sliced pork
400 grams of sliced beef (replace these with tofu if you're not carnivorous)
2-3 fresh tomatos
1 can of pureed tomato (a small 70 gram can will do)
1 can of hacked tomatos (a peasoup sized can of about 400 grams is ideal)
fresh chilis (the amount varies depending on size and fieriness, and your tastes of course - I use 6-8 medium sized, fiery peppers for a good kick)
4 cloves of garlic
beans - if you like them
1 whole fresh onion
various spices (I prefer mixed groud pepper, ground bell pepper and salt)
spaghetti
a small bottle of red wine (optional)
Put a kettle with water on the stove and heat until boiling, then drop the fresh chilis in. Let them boil for about 20-30 minutes, depending on size, or until so soft that a fork can pierce them easily. Then lift them out, cut the ends away (do please be careful to keep the seeds, they are what makes it hot) and strip the peels away with your fingers. If the chili doesn't peel easily, or the peel rips the flesh of the vegetable along with it, boil it some more until it does. Then cut the peeled chilis into 1 inch bits.
Now, cut the centers away from the tomatos. This is done by cutting a circle along the top of the tomato around the core, then cutting a small X on the bottom of the tomato, then pushing the circular cut with your thumb until the core comes out through the cut in the bottom. Place the tomatos into boiling water, let boil for about 5 minutes, then remove and peel just like the chilis.
Cut the cloves of garlic and the onion into small bits. Then heat a pan and fry the beef and the pork. Add salt and spices to your tastes after frying. Now put the fried meat into a cast iron pot, put the pot on the stove at a very low heat setting, and place the cut onion and garlic in the pot with the meat. Now put the can of hacked tomatos, the can of pureed tomatos and the peeled fresh tomatos into the pot and stir well. Then apply the chilis and stir some more. At this point, you may pour a glass or a glass and a half of red wine into the pot to add some taste.
Then comes the boring part: put the lid on the pot and let it simmer on slow heat for 2-3 hours, until the meat is so tender and soft it practically melts away in your mouth. Then cook some spaghetti to go with it and you are done. Enjoy! Best served with a bagel and liberal amounts of beer or coke.
For a vegetarian alternative, put everything else into the pot except for the meat (duh), let simmer for about 20-30 minutes, then fry some tofu on a pan and add it in. Tasteh.
Now, time to share your secrets. Vamos!
Comments
<i>Mountain Dew Surprise</i>
Ingredients:
- 1 Can of Mountain Dew.
Open the can, drink the contents, and say "surprise" when you're done.
1 Box of Grapenuts (the cereal, you know?)
1 bowl
2 eggs
1 fork
1 spoon
1 microwave
1 thing of milk
Okay, first you take the eggs and crack them and put the yolk in the bowl. Then you stir it with the fork for a long time. Then you pour a little bit of milk, but not too much, and stir it again for a long time. Then, you can add some sugar if you have a sweet tooth or some raisins. Pour in the grapenuts, as much as you want, just not so much as you fill it all the way to the top of the bowl. Toss it in the microwave for about 2 minutes. Once it's done, eat with a spoon! It's really really yummy!
Toast with lots of garlic and cheese.
Take 2-3 cloves of garlic, squash them in one of them garlic squasher things and spread on a freshly toasted slice, add a few slices of cheese and enjoy.(do NOT drink soda pops, after having eaten lots of raw garlic soda pops will create a very strong burning sensation on your tongue for some inexplicable reason.)
~4 slices serves 1.
Put grated horse radish on just about anything bland and taste less and it will be a bit nicer(e.g. mashed potatos, sandwiches).
Noodle soup: prepare ~100 g noodles by cooking in ~0.8 l of water. Add stuff, tasty stuff(such as chili sauce, thyme, paprika, basil,jalapeños, pepper, tomato puré), then add some MSG(found in chinese food stores mostly, you need just a small pinch) or salt according to taste.
Cashew nuts: everyone likes cashews (except those who puff up or break out in hives or otherwise need medical attention), yet cashews are never served as a little snack to dinner for some reason. They're certainly healthy enough...
Never use ketchup when you can use tomato puré instead. It's not as disgustingly sweet and tastes much more tomato.
Peasoup with garlic: Make pea soup, add lots-o-garlic.
I'm serious.
Tater's n' Noodles.
Ingredients:
Instant potatoes, prepared by description on box (un-heated for now, just mixxed)
Add in a few pinches of parsely, some pepper, some salt, and some cajun seasoning, leaving out things you dont like, of course. Open one can of chicken noodle soup, drain the liquid, add the noodles to the taters, heat in microwave.
Voila, a messy goop with albino worms that tastes suprisingly good.
I'm serious.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
MSG is better <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->. Not healthier but indeed much tastier.
1 can pizza sauce (should be naturally fat free; I prefer Contadina)
1 loaf crusty french baguette (from a bakery - again, naturally fat free)
1 package fat-free mozarella
1 package turkey pepperoni
1 yellow onion
1 green pepper
Fresh or dried basil and oregano
Dried, crushed red peppers
Some Pam fat-free olive oil spray
Quarter your pepperoni slices, chop onion and peppers. Spray bread with Pam olive oil, spread sauce thickly on bread, then cover with vegetables and pepperoni. Add seasonings, then cover liberally in mozarella. Bake at 450 for 15 minutes. Should work out to about 1-3 grams of fat per 6-inch piece, depending on how thickly you laid on the pepperoni.
Tastes almost exactly like normal fattening french-bread pizza, but is actually quite healthy. Certainly tastes 100 times better than store bought 'healthy' pizzas, which are more bland than an Englishman's taste in women.
I'm serious.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
MSG is better <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->. Not healthier but indeed much tastier. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Personally I don't enjoy the taste of ulcers. But to each his own I guess.
All this posted by someone who is made from people. <i><b>HE'S MADE FROM PEEEOOOPPPLLLE!!!!!</b></i>
1 can pizza sauce (should be naturally fat free; I prefer Contadina)
1 loaf crusty french baguette (from a bakery - again, naturally fat free)
1 package fat-free mozarella
1 package turkey pepperoni
1 yellow onion
1 green pepper
Fresh or dried basil and oregano
Dried, crushed red peppers
Some Pam fat-free olive oil spray
Quarter your pepperoni slices, chop onion and peppers. Spray bread with Pam olive oil, spread sauce thickly on bread, then cover with vegetables and pepperoni. Add seasonings, then cover liberally in mozarella. Bake at 450 for 15 minutes. Should work out to about 1-3 grams of fat per 6-inch piece, depending on how thickly you laid on the pepperoni.
Tastes almost exactly like normal fattening french-bread pizza, but is actually quite healthy. Certainly tastes 100 times better than store bought 'healthy' pizzas, which are more bland than an Englishman's taste in women. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Almost exactly the same recipe, but instead of Pizza sauce, reduce one can of chopped tomatoes in a pan on a high heat for approx 8 minutes, mixing in tomatoe puree, some pinapple juice and some of the dried herbs, and seasoning to taste. Then use this mixture instead of crappy shop bought stuff.
Damn you MonsE, stealing my culinary masterpieces!
- Boil yourself up some angel hair, linguine, thin spaghetti, whatever for ~10 minutes
- Once it's al dente (yeah I know, I'm throwing around these cooking terms, but stay with me) pour over some good olive oil, not too dark though, that stuff is kinda bleh
- Toss in Romano and Parmesan cheeses, along with a good helping of salt and pepper
- Crush in some garlic, or even used that jarred stuff, doesn't much matter
- Stir about with a fork
Alternatively, toss in some of that spicy red pepper to make it kinda hot. You know, the kind you usually see in pizza parlors to put on your pizza. Serve all this with a slice of garlic bread and a drink of your choice, it's quick, reaaaaalll good, and filling too.
<i>EAT!</i>
Ingredients:
1 Handful of Uncooked Noodles
1 Pot Full of Water
1 Bottle of Cold Ketchup
Instructions:
Grab your handful of noodles (preferably with dirty, unwashed hands, it adds flavor) and throw them into your pot full of water. Boil the water until the noodles get soft, the mushier the better. When noodles are done, pour them onto a plate. Take your bottle of cold ketchup, remove the cap, and pour generously over noodles. Serve with slice of bread or a banana.
Feeds 2 kids, 1 adult.
Enjoy.
<i>Mountain Dew Surprise</i>
Ingredients:
- 1 Can of Mountain Dew.
Open the can, drink the contents, and say "surprise" when you're done. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
ROFL
them, you so do win
[edit]
1 english muffin
1 slice of ham
1 slice of processed american cheese
toast or grill
[/edit]
<i>Mountain Dew Surprise</i>
Ingredients:
- 1 Can of Mountain Dew.
Open the can, drink the contents, and say "surprise" when you're done. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
**Points to 3 24 packs of dew in the corner**
--
I always love a nice unhealthy sandwich.
Just take everything from the fridge, and stick it between to pieces of bread...make sure the bread is toasted <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Damn you MonsE, stealing my culinary masterpieces! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Bah nubikin - I know what passes for pizza sauce in your land - I definitely agree that if you are British you should NEVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER use pizza sauce from a can, and instead follow Fam's directions. However, if you are in a normal country, good quality canned sauce is fine.
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Edit: in fact, if you are British then you should really just order out for all your meals - I recommend you call France on their 800 number.
I was thinking more of the common allergic reactions and "Chinese food syndrome"(temporary reaction to high intake of MSG.) rather than it's fictional or unproven properties.
edit: If you don't like ulcers avoid stress and caffeine which both have strong links to ulcers. I can't even find any site claiming any link between ulcers and MSG even on the conspiracy theory looney pages, they do claim alot of other bad stuff about just about anything though, such as MSG being a cause of AIDs and parasites in milk being a major cause of cancer... urgh, it's like I can feel myself getting dumber reading that crap...
Jolly good!
I was thinking more of the common allergic reactions and "Chinese food syndrome"(temporary reaction to high intake of MSG.) rather than it's fictional or unproven properties.
edit: If you don't like ulcers avoid stress and caffeine which both have strong links to ulcers. I can't even find any site claiming any link between ulcers and MSG even on the conspiracy theory looney pages, they do claim alot of other bad stuff about just about anything though, such as MSG being a cause of AIDs and parasites in milk being a major cause of cancer... urgh, it's like I can feel myself getting dumber reading that crap... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
No I was actually saying that MSG is MADE of ulcers. Little known fact.
In all seriousness though, you just can't beat simple sodium chloride. Less is more in this chemical compound!
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Dude, that doesn't even make sense as a joke <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->. edit: unless I've missed the latest "funny" flash or something :o
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->In all seriousness though, you just can't beat simple sodium chloride. Less is more in this chemical compound!<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Good, then there's more ammonium chloride for me.
All this posted by someone who is made from people. <i><b>HE'S MADE FROM PEEEOOOPPPLLLE!!!!!</b></i> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
My sides... they are splitting... can't stifle laughter. Now all we need is a member named Iguana Bob to show up and offer some spit roast recipes.
<i>Programmer's Fuel</i>
24 x 1 - Can of Dr. Pepper
post real recipes for real food you .... youngish.. folk-type people.. YEARGH!!
i cooked in a restaurant before, and learned a few basics, and basically go hog wild on my own. most of these recipes are for a ncei dinner party, or to impress some girl/guy (hey, i'm not judgin <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo--> ).
Owleh's Roast
-special equipment:
blender, or hand blender
meat thermometer
roasting pan
preheat oven to 450
-one nice beef round, say, 2-4 lb's or so
*oh crap..i have to put measurements here...*
-a handful of whole ground peppercorn
-4-7 cloves of garlic
-1 twig of rosemary, just the leaves (the twig should be about 4 inches)
-1 tblspoon of sea salt
-4 or so tablespoons of vegetable oil (enough to make anice paste with yer seasonings)
toss everything but the beef into a blender and make a nice puree. cover said beef with puree. put beef on rack, put rack in oven, PROFIT! i mean, uh. wait. should take anywheres between 2-3.5 hours, depending on how thick of a cut of meat you picked.
check at 1.5 hr mark with meat thermometer (should have the ranges of proper meat temps on the meat thermometer), i don't have the numbers on me atm. this is a good time to see abouts how much time you have left.
if you are feeling the ubar adventure, save the drippings to make a nice gravy, which i will detail later if requested <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
goes well with scrambled egg toast, steaks, sandwiches, hamburgers and almost everything :D
onions, chopped into rings, then into halves
any type of mushrooms, chopped into slices
salt n sugar
butter
melt butter in sauce pan till its frothing and dump in the other ingredients in . Let it cook under low heat, stiring constantly until golden brown and the onions have caramelised and taste sweetish. Next, add a bit of salt n sugar to taste and its done :D
you can keep em in a tupperware and they'll last long in the refridgerator and they go well with pretty much everything
NOTHING is better for the programmer than pure, unadulterated Caffiene intake!
as for taste 24 x 1 - Can of Dr. Pepper > Owleh's Roast
Seriously... French food can beat British food any day. When I was in England half the stuff available was unrecognizable, and the other half was tea (which is one thing that's done very well). I think the only thing worse than British food is McDonalds (not sure if that counts as "food" or not)
In France on the other hand, there's bakeries everywhere and the bread is spectacular. Not to mention the distinct lack of a legal drinking age (or if there is one it sure isn't enforced). I think the only two things in French food that I absolutely cannot stand are escargot and frog legs... That was just disgusting. But the rest of it's awesome.
NOTHING is better for the programmer than pure, unadulterated Caffiene intake! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
but nothing brings the object of your affection closer than goood cookin!
1.) Stroll up to the menu, look at the happy Meal. Thats right...you get a toy for free.
2.) Wait for the.....host ( if thats what you call them )....to say "Hello, Welcome to McDonalds, what can I get for you?"
3.) Reply back with, "I'd like the Happy Meal with (insert drink here. I prefer Powerade)
4.) They add it up and say, "Is that all for you?".
5.) You say no...."I'd like a McFlurry also!"
6.) Then they give you the price for it, in which you stroll on down to windows #1.
7.) Upon aproach to window #1, be sure to have the exact amount of money for your meal. You hand them the money like an underground drug exchange, and pull on up to Windows #2.
8.) - The Home Stretch - Now your finally there....WINDOW #2. An employee of McDonalds should hand you your drink first (if not, complain like no other....), then they finally hand you your meal.
9.) Make sure you got your toy with the Happy Meal, and your all set to go. Enjoy your meal....<i><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>American Style.</span></i>