Hey You! Ya You!
<div class="IPBDescription">Reading this, you!</div> English is your second language, isn't it? You don't have a first. Rumor has it that you are almost incomprehensible in person (as revealed by your desperate urge to babble nonsensically on message boards.) No doubt, this rumor is true.
You get even more ridiculous with every word that comes tumbling out your over-used mouth. You could type every thing you know on the subject on back of a microscopic postage stamp and still have room leftover for a shopping list. A long period of non-posting would be most welcome on your part. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
Reading your post is less interesting than watching paint dry. If wit was spit, your mouth would be drier than a shallow well in an African heat wave. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that you look like The Michelin Man man on steroids, or if you didn't have a face that makes your dentist treat you by mail-order. Nah, of course you would.
You're a message board freak. I know it's hard to accept the truth, but the truth it is, and accept it, you must.
<a href='http://www.insultmonger.com/generators/' target='_blank'>http://www.insultmonger.com/generators/</a>
You get even more ridiculous with every word that comes tumbling out your over-used mouth. You could type every thing you know on the subject on back of a microscopic postage stamp and still have room leftover for a shopping list. A long period of non-posting would be most welcome on your part. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."
Reading your post is less interesting than watching paint dry. If wit was spit, your mouth would be drier than a shallow well in an African heat wave. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that you look like The Michelin Man man on steroids, or if you didn't have a face that makes your dentist treat you by mail-order. Nah, of course you would.
You're a message board freak. I know it's hard to accept the truth, but the truth it is, and accept it, you must.
<a href='http://www.insultmonger.com/generators/' target='_blank'>http://www.insultmonger.com/generators/</a>
Comments
ROFL.
The Anti-Moron™ software on my PC went crazy when I started to read your post. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Have you ever noticed that whenever you sit behind a keyboard, some idiot starts typing? As Abba Eban so aptly said: "His ignorance is encyclopedic."
Reading your post is less interesting than watching paint dry. If wit was spit, your mouth would be drier than a shallow well in an African heat wave. Why don't you close your mouth before someone sticks an apple in it? Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you weren't so dumb that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that your local 'All-You-Can-Eat' buffet had to install speed bumps, or if you weren't so ugly that even the tide wouldn't take you out. No, come to think of it, you would.
In closing, I offer these heartfelt words: Go suck on a frozen pineapple, ****.
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Uh, this isn't about me. It's for my brother's....girlfriend's....mailman's.....cousin's......dog.
<!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/nerd.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I don't know what makes you such a worthless poster, but it really works! You must have a very large brain to hold such a vast amount of sheer ignorance. Reading your post makes blindness a wonderful thing to look forward to. As Ellen Glasgow once remarked: "He knows so little and knows it so fluently."
Reading your post is less interesting than watching paint dry. If wit was spit, your mouth would be drier than a shallow well in an African heat wave. You are like watching Amputee Field Hockey: pathetic, and very quickly disgusting. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if your brain cells weren't on the Endangered Species list; if your weren't so fat that buildings bounce when you haul your Sumo Wrestler mass down the street, or if you didn't have a face so ugly that even your mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on. Who am I kidding? You would.
In conclusion, sit down and shut up before trip over your own tongue and hurt yourself.
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You are an incalculably boorish contemptible delinquent and a decadent, irredeemably boring festering boil on the butt of humanity.
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Your value doesn't even amount to a festering discharge from a leper's rectum in Calcutta. There is nothing I'd like more than for you to go drink a gallon of poison wine, you Grandma-chasing bloomer fetishist.
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Dear Talesin_BatBat,
I don't think that we are right for each other. I need someone who doesn't think that Picasso is a brand of pasta, Talesin_BatBat. Living with you was about as entertaining as the worst-ever episode of "The Golden Girls." If there were a Pandora's Box of Tedium, life with you would be it. Being with you scared me: I didn't want to die of boredom. Sex with you was so mundane that the only ones having any fun were your bed mites. You get carried away with your own self-importance. The trouble is, you don't get carried far enough away. There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was. You remind me of a spinning top: always spinning around at a frantic pace, but never going anywhere. If you had even the faintest trace of honor and decency in your hideously deformed gimpmobile of a rat-runt's diseased carcass, you would immediately perform an act of ritual Hara-kiri by disembowelling yourself with a serrated Bowie knife while sitting in a pit of burning gasoline in attempted atonement for being such an ****. Talesin_BatBat, I suggest you climb back into your possum hole and don't pop your pointy head back up again in my life - in case I decide Groundhog Day came early and wallop it with a nail-spiked baseball bat, you clodhopping yokel.
Yours freely,
Quaunaut
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!!! GENIOUS! I LOVE THIS! THANK YOU!!!!!!
<a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=75722' target='_blank'>http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/in...showtopic=75722</a>
<a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=75722' target='_blank'>http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/in...showtopic=75722</a> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
PWNT!
w00t!
<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=genious' target='_blank'>Absolutely!</a>
You get even more ridiculous with every word that comes tumbling out your over-used mouth. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. As Ellen Glasgow once remarked: "He knows so little and knows it so fluently."
You have that certain nothing. Truly, you are about as interesting as watching a slug move slowly across a large rock. Any friend of yours is a lousy judge of character. Seriously, I've come across decomposing dog carcases that are less offensive to the senses than you are. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so stupid that even single-celled organisms out score you in IQ tests; if your weren't so fat that your cereal bowl has its own lifeguard, or if you didn't have a face that makes people ask: "Damn, is it Halloween already?" Who am I kidding? You would.
In conclusion, why don't you go away and play Russian roulette with all chambers fully-loaded?<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Wow. It's these forums. In a paragraph. There was actually a guy who played russian roulette with a semi auto... he only played it once however. Got a darwin award out of it.
[NinjaEdit]Missed a paragraph[/NinjaEdit]