"natural Selection" As A Punchline

r4m3n_n00dles · July 2004

<div class="IPBDescription">Infamous IRC quotes from bash.org</div> <a href='http://www.bash.org/?search=%22natural+selection%22&sort=0&show=25' target='_blank'>From bash.org</a>, a site that collects quotes submitted by anyone from an IRC conversation to preserve for postarity.

<b>#274554</b>
<@ITV|VimAtWk> oops
<@ITV|VimAtWk> just heard a kid fell off our local multi-storey car park today
<+chrisss> how high?
<@ITV|VimAtWk> high enough for some natural selection

<b>#140338</b>
<+BarkerJr> why is 'crontab -r' one key away from 'crontab -e'?
<@Paladin> Natural Selection

<b>#38223</b>
<Supe> <Beelzebub> www.xxxxxxxxx.com/gulfgirls2004 SeX SeX SeX !!
<Supe> beelze are you trying to harbour viruses?
<Beelzebub> nothing wrong with viruses
<Beelzebub> they are part of the natural selection process on the internet

<a href='http://www.bash.org/?top' target='_blank'>Some of the best</a> that aren't natural selection...

<a href='http://www.bash.org/?23396' target='_blank'>#23396</a>
<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE **** UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

<a href='http://www.bash.org/?99835' target='_blank'>#99835</a>
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

Zig · July 2004

those last two are WOW old.

Mantrid · July 2004

This is much better. Had me in tears:

<Galactic> you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
<Galactic> I mean that is just some **** UP ****
<Galactic> the Trix rabbit, for example
<Galactic> I dunno man... if I were him I'd be freaking KILLING some kids
<Galactic> I remember a commercial where the **** rabbit WENT INTO A **** STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN **** MONEY.
<Galactic> **** kids came outta NOWHERE and basically **** mug the poor stupid **** rabbit
<Galactic> "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
<Galactic> **** rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
<Galactic> **** NO that wouldn't fly with me
<Galactic> I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those **** ****
<Galactic> and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them **** and THEN beat the **** out of them some more.
<Galactic> and WTH is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a **** kid?
<Galactic> I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot **** RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
<Galactic> "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
<Galactic> NO.
<Galactic> I'd be thinking
<Galactic> "that's a 6 foot **** RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the **** was I just smoking?"
<Galactic> another thing... WTH is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
<Galactic> last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
<Galactic> they show a big **** bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a **** grapefruit... who the **** eats a breakfast that big
<Flaming_Duck> not me
<Flaming Duck> I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
<Flaming_Duck> I mean, I eat when I get up
<Flaming_Duck> but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
<FLaming_Suck> ****, you make my freaking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the freaking money
<Flaming_Duck> don't give me that ****.
<Galactic> Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> freaking LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the freaking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of freaking 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your **** **** has got to have a "Blow the freaking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those ****.
<Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic> ....
<Galactic> KILL THEM, ****!
<Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic> it's just always bothered me."

Omegaman · July 2004

genjer: so my sister asks me if this shirt makes her look fat
genjer: and I was like, "no the fat underneath does"

<img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

X_Stickman · July 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Mantrid @ Jul 21 2004, 05:18 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> This is much better. Had me in tears:

<Galactic> you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
<Galactic> I mean that is just some **** UP ****
<Galactic> the Trix rabbit, for example
<Galactic> I dunno man... if I were him I'd be freaking KILLING some kids
<Galactic> I remember a commercial where the **** rabbit WENT INTO A **** STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN **** MONEY.
<Galactic> **** kids came outta NOWHERE and basically **** mug the poor stupid **** rabbit
<Galactic> "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
<Galactic> **** rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
<Galactic> **** NO that wouldn't fly with me
<Galactic> I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those **** ****
<Galactic> and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them **** and THEN beat the **** out of them some more.
<Galactic> and WTH is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a **** kid?
<Galactic> I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot **** RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
<Galactic> "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
<Galactic> NO.
<Galactic> I'd be thinking
<Galactic> "that's a 6 foot **** RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the **** was I just smoking?"
<Galactic> another thing... WTH is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
<Galactic> last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
<Galactic> they show a big **** bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a **** grapefruit... who the **** eats a breakfast that big
<Flaming_Duck> not me
<Flaming Duck> I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
<Flaming_Duck> I mean, I eat when I get up
<Flaming_Duck> but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
<FLaming_Suck> ****, you make my freaking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the freaking money
<Flaming_Duck> don't give me that ****.
<Galactic> Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> freaking LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the freaking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of freaking 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your **** **** has got to have a "Blow the freaking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those ****.
<Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic> ....
<Galactic> KILL THEM, ****!
<Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic> it's just always bothered me."  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
The first time i read that i fell out of my chair and i could barely breathe. I could just imagine this guy going completely insane over some trix. ahaha

DOOManiac · July 2004

For all your stupid and nonfunny IRC quote needs, turn to <a href='http://nsbash.voogru.com' target='_blank'>NSBash</a>. :P

(I hear the guy who coded it is a l33t d00d)

;)

dr_d · July 2004

...So the plumber turns to the corn farmer's borther the rabbi and his pregnant wife's sister the ex-communist and says, "That's just natural-selection."

UnderDOG · July 2004

By far the best:

#244321 +(4884)- [X]

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

or this

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in freaking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our freaking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! **** **** ****
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

Jimmeh · July 2004

Your all wrong.

The best one is:

#76304
<Volt|sleep> lemme give you an idea of how nerdy engineering is
<Volt|sleep> im in a lab today
<Volt|sleep> and two guys are arguing over something
<Volt|sleep> and it's gettign pretty heated
<Volt|sleep> and one guy says "Yo you wanna fight?!"
<Volt|sleep> and the other is like "yeah man! where at?"
<Volt|sleep> and the first guy says
<Volt|sleep> "Starcraft" "Oh you play starcraft?" "Yeah, bring it on"

dr_d · July 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jimmeh @ Jul 21 2004, 02:54 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Your all wrong.

The best one is:

#76304
<Volt|sleep> lemme give you an idea of how nerdy engineering is
<Volt|sleep> im in a lab today
<Volt|sleep> and two guys are arguing over something
<Volt|sleep> and it's gettign pretty heated
<Volt|sleep> and one guy says "Yo you wanna fight?!"
<Volt|sleep> and the other is like "yeah man! where at?"
<Volt|sleep> and the first guy says
<Volt|sleep> "Starcraft" "Oh you play starcraft?" "Yeah, bring it on"  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
*complete and utter silence*

SoulSkorpion · July 2004

Just go <a href='http://www.bash.org/?random1' target='_blank'>here</a> if you want bash quotes, and stop spamming them here. <i>We've read them all already</i>.

Infinitum · July 2004

Shhhh party pooper~

<a href='http://www.bash.org/?364676' target='_blank'>364676</a>
<philosophiliac> lol this arvo some guy started quoting the 2nd amendment at a teacher after knocking some crow out of a tree
<MissBitch> hahahahaha
<philosophiliac> with a shoe
<MissBitch> ...
<philosophiliac> seriously he goes
<philosophiliac> "the 2nd amendment states that all citizens have the right and obligation to bear arms"
<philosophiliac> "and shoes"
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> "we made it very clear to those terrorists that we would tolerate no more attacks"
<philosophiliac> and lockie here just got shat on"
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHAHHA
<philosophiliac> we have decided it is time to attack with neccessary force to show the crows that we mean business"
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> if they hit us"
<philosophiliac> we hit back
<philosophiliac> HARD
<philosophiliac> with whatever comes to hand
<MissBitch> im holding my nose so i dont burst out laughing here
<philosophiliac> and we cannot be held responsable for a war they started
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
<philosophiliac> in the war on crowism, ur either with us
<philosophiliac> or ur against us
<MissBitch> hahahahahahaha
<MissBitch> thats just so hilarious
<philosophiliac> oh yeah
<philosophiliac> the teacher was in hysterics
<philosophiliac> but the guy got a detention neway
<MissBitch> hahahaha
<MissBitch> oh well
<MissBitch> woulda bn worth it!
<philosophiliac> yeah
<philosophiliac> we were basically on the ground we were laughing so hard
<MissBitch> hahahahaha
<philosophiliac> and he didn't crack up once
<philosophiliac> and as the teacher leads him away he goes
<MissBitch> if i didnt want to wake my parents, id b killin myself laughin
<philosophiliac> "u can lock me up, but this war is a neccessary one"
<MissBitch> oooooooooooooh
<MissBitch> lol
<philosophiliac> "and one that will be contnued by freedom loving students with shoes everywhere"
<MissBitch> HAHAHAHHAHA ROFLMAO

Best. Quote. Ever.

Mullet · July 2004

<img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /> one of my quotes is at nsbash....stalkers!

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><Mullet> Today at school we had to miss 5th period to watch these dancers
<Mullet> and when I got to the assembly, the dancers were only 6-7 years old
<Mullet> I've never felt like more of a pedophile than I did during that 5th period</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

I don't remember telling anyone that, but I do remember that day..... 0_o

john_sheu · July 2004

Best short one:

#23601
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

SoulSkorpion · July 2004

In that case:
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>#61810 +(123)- [X]

<i386> <a href='http://www.bash.org/?21858' target='_blank'>http://www.bash.org/?21858</a> <----- ROFL!
<illusi0n> haha
<i386> <a href='http://www.bash.org/?7755' target='_blank'>http://www.bash.org/?7755</a> <---- ABHHHAHHAH! <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /> SO SO TRUE!
<i386> <a href='http://www.bash.org/?4395' target='_blank'>http://www.bash.org/?4395</a> <--- muahah, Linux Conf 2003
<i386> <a href='http://www.bash.org/?31318' target='_blank'>http://www.bash.org/?31318</a> <--- hehe, reminds me of atomic
<BenZor> ^^____ HAHA SHUT THE **** UP YOU LAME ****ING BASH.ORG LINKING N00b, WE'RE ALL ****ING ADDICTED AND HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

john_sheu · July 2004

Best undervalued one (not on the front page):

#80036
*** Locke1` (~greens15@206.170.3.42) has joined #square
<Locke1`> am i still banned?
<Deadcounter> Locke: yes
<Locke1`> ****
<Locke1`> i'll leave now
<Locke1`> sorry
*** Locke1` (~greens15@206.170.3.42) has left #square
<Deadcounter> eheheh
<ift> amazing

"natural Selection" As A Punchline

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