I'm In A Rut

camO_ocamO_o Join Date: 2004-04-19 Member: 28028Members
I feel bad.

Normally, I strut through my days in complete denial of my many faults, while stubbornly clinging to the belief of my ultimate superiority to everyone else. I know this is not true, but when I walk around my school campus, watching as a bunch of overweight, overmakeupped blonde chicks duke it out over their boyfriends, it makes me feel superior, like I'm "better then them."

I came to a realization today that made me realize just how wrong I was. I might be smarter, harder working, or know more about why Bush is a terrible president more then most of them, but I'm still lacking in one vital thing.

A friend.

While I occassionally spend time "hanging out" with people, I've realized that I've never considered these people friends. On AIM, I'm actually not at all interested in any conversations I have, and the fact that I've been spending less and less time with people online sort of reflects this. I don't know why I'm feeling like this today, it's probably because I've been reading Love Hina again. Man, Love Hina gets to me >_<.

In short, my angst meter is full up today, and I need to vent. Fin.

Oh and ya, don't bother pointing out that this is an obvious cry for sympathy. What else could it be?
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Comments

  • jumpingjodajumpingjoda Join Date: 2003-12-14 Member: 24367Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    Live like you would like to live.
    Do things that make you happy and such. Sometimes i feel like you now, well it goes away.
  • ChronoChrono Local flyboy Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18989Members
    this thread makes me feel superior, like I'm "better then them." <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    if you need a friend just find some random person on the boards and start messeging them alot of people have done it to me <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • WheeeeWheeee Join Date: 2003-02-18 Member: 13713Members, Reinforced - Shadow
    o_O@ joda's sig

    anyway, it's hard to make friends if you are arrogant. dunno if you act like that, but since you feel it, it's pretty likely.
  • jumpingjodajumpingjoda Join Date: 2003-12-14 Member: 24367Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    <!--QuoteBegin-Wheeee+Sep 20 2004, 08:54 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Wheeee @ Sep 20 2004, 08:54 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> o_O@ joda's sig

    anyway, it's hard to make friends if you are arrogant. dunno if you act like that, but since you feel it, it's pretty likely. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    OLOLOLOLOL didnt know there is a member called Wheee... Sweet irony <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
    It has nothing to do with you.
  • camO_ocamO_o Join Date: 2004-04-19 Member: 28028Members
    I've had people randomly IM me or PM me on message boards and NEVER LET GO. It scares the crap out of me, quite frankly. I don't want to do that -.-.

    I don't act stuck up or arrogant in class, although I tend to make early assumptions about people. I've been feeling especially crappy with this new school... there's no one I would classify as my type and I've pretty much just sat around talking to the wall all day long. The plus side to it is that my grades have been +++ recently...
  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Members
    Express your self more, make an effort to throw out who you are to everyone. Don't judge people for a little while, use them to get to know other people, and once they are all used up, throw them aside in a little ball of judging if you so choose. Try to get the hardcore extroverts to attach to you, they know pretty much everyone after a very short while (unfortuneately alot of them are probably fat blonde and stupid <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->), so if you are doing the rounds with them you should find alot more people like yourself than if you were to just wander around antisocially on your own.
  • camO_ocamO_o Join Date: 2004-04-19 Member: 28028Members
    That's where the second problem comes up. I'm anti-social. I have terrible communication skills. My conversations tend to go weak, limp, and die. I enjoy staring at people accusationally for the fun of it. Meh, getting to know people is very hard for me. Most of the people I got to know from my previous school were because I've known them for a long time, they were persistent in getting to know me, or we were in a group project and we managed to get a convo going. I am not a people person.
  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Members
    edited September 2004
    That's why I say latch onto compusive extroverts, they don't know anyone well, they just know everone a little bit. They are the easiest people in the world to talk to because all you have to do is say "hi, how are you doing" or maby make a comment about how hard your homework is, and you spend the next hour hearing about the weather, sports, and half thier life story. They are horrible people to really befriend, but if you hang around with them, and ask them about the people they tend to avoid, then you will probably find alot of other people that have alot more in common with you then the people who you would meet on your own wanderings. Make a comment to one of them about how well your computer is running or something when you get a chance to talk to them relitively alone. If they look at you funny, screw it, its not like anyone else is gonna ever hear about it, if they use it as a conversation starter, get their name and congradulate yourself, you just started making a friend.

    [edit]#1 important thing, different personality types are ok between friends, but don't try to make freinds with people who have absoulty no common hobbies with you.
  • camO_ocamO_o Join Date: 2004-04-19 Member: 28028Members
    I'll take your advice. There's this guy in psych class who seems bright - but won't shutup. Let's see how this goes >:)
  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Members
    edited September 2004
    I hope it works out for you <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    <span style='font-size:7pt;line-height:100%'>because if it doesn't I'll feel crappy for giving you bad advice ;(</span>
  • coilcoil Amateur pirate. Professional monkey. All pance. Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 424Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    The short, I'm-on-my-way-to-work version:

    A friend is someone who actually knows you. Someone who could cut you down in a heartbeat... and doesn't, because he/she is your friend.

    Friendships are about trust. They don't form quickly or simply, especially later in life. Don't expect an instant fix, and don't give up just because something doesn't seem to be working yet.

    Try something completely new to you, one of the activities offered by or near your school. One activity that helped me make connections and form new friendships in college was swing dancing. Frankly, I recommend it to just about anyone because (1) it's fun, (2) it's good exercise, (3) it's a social event by necessity (you have to dance *with* someone), and (4) the vast majority of swing dancers I know/have met are *extremely* nice, especially to newcomers. It's also a widely disparate group brought together by one thing that they all have in common: dancing. It's variety.
  • BirdyBirdy Join Date: 2003-05-29 Member: 16825Members, Constellation
    I think i feel exactly like you, although i'm not in highschool anymore.
    Now i'm stuck at home and work while being anti-social. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    You're like me in your superiority complex, but at least I had a few friends. A year on, they've all buggered off to uni so I'm not very sociable at the mo. The people at my part-time job are quite fun, but they're not the kind of people I'd normally befriend.

    The weird thing is, I'm never sure if this affects me or not. I don't feel any major loss, but I'm sure I'd prefer having friends (not just amiable acquaintances) I could talk to face-to-face rather than over the internet.
  • SnidelySnidely Join Date: 2003-02-04 Member: 13098Members
    I've found that friends are a bit of a drag. They'll always let you down in the end. Then again, I have issues, so you should probably do the opposite of what I do and try to make friends.
  • Private_ColemanPrivate_Coleman PhD in Video Games Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7510Members
    I have no true friends. They're all the kind that you talk to seriously, but they aren't serious people. And I am in fact (suprisingly) a very serious person. Everyone thinks I'm 25-26 when I'm only 17... <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • KungFuDiscoMonkeyKungFuDiscoMonkey Creator of ns_altair 日本福岡県 Join Date: 2003-03-15 Member: 14555Members, NS1 Playtester, Reinforced - Onos
    edited September 2004
    I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I talk to more people from the NS community (more specificially mapping community) than people I actually know in person. It is kinda rough sometimes not having too many people to talk to in person but the people in the ns community are lots of fun to talk to.

    Edit: and Love Hina rocks. Great series <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • NEO_PhyteNEO_Phyte We need shirtgons&#33; Join Date: 2003-12-16 Member: 24453Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-camO.o+Sep 20 2004, 03:09 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (camO.o @ Sep 20 2004, 03:09 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> That's where the second problem comes up. I'm anti-social. I have terrible communication skills. My conversations tend to go weak, limp, and die. I enjoy staring at people accusationally for the fun of it. Meh, getting to know people is very hard for me. Most of the people I got to know from my previous school were because I've known them for a long time, they were persistent in getting to know me, or we were in a group project and we managed to get a convo going. I am not a people person. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    ...brother?
  • acer_r2acer_r2 Join Date: 2004-06-04 Member: 29099Members
    oh..ahhahahahahahahahahaahahahahahha
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Area88+Sep 20 2004, 09:58 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Area88 @ Sep 20 2004, 09:58 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> oh..ahhahahahahahahahahaahahahahahha <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    This is what we call "not helpful."
  • SnidelySnidely Join Date: 2003-02-04 Member: 13098Members
    edited September 2004
    On the contrary, laughing manically for no apparent reason is a sign of madness. It might help in getting him shipped off to a padded cell.
  • MoquiaoMoquiao Join Date: 2003-05-09 Member: 16168Members
    like is what you make of it..


    no more no less... if you are going to walk around thinking your superior dont be shocked when you are billy no mates ya know?

    heres a good tip remember no matter what you do no matter who you are, if you are good at a certain something like say shooting. there will always be somebody out there who could whip your **** at it. never believe you are the best..

    but always strive to hit that target. as its an impossible target you will keep aiming higher and higher...
  • jumpingjodajumpingjoda Join Date: 2003-12-14 Member: 24367Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    ...and higher.... perhaps, you can kill god!
    Now that would be superior...
  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    I'm definitely in the same boat. I've pushed away so many friends and potential friends for so many reasons, like being lazy and being too picky... but I know there's no such thing as the perfect friend... I think it all boils down to a fear I developed in middle school of being dumped by my friends - because my best middle school friend got bored of playing video games and hanging out with me, and decided he wanted to be a professional womanizer instead... and I was always too shy to be like that, so my best friend basically became a stranger... so I haven't made any truly good friends since then...
  • ForlornForlorn Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 2634Banned
    edited September 2004
    Hey, just look at me I'm the most arrogant f*** you could ever meet, I've still got my share of best friends, aquitences, booze, and... oh yeah, how could I forget my enemies <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    I'm not a people person but I can walk up to any girl and start up a conversation, (or boy) and the secret is this:

    Just let go. Let go of any fear you may have. Find a potentially interesting subject, and talk for the hell of it. The most recent example I have of this was two days ago, where I knocked on a random girl's dorm room and held a 5 min coversation. The reason I talked with her was because my friends dared me too, and being the confidant P.O.S. that I am, I did it without any fear of what may happen.

    If you wanna make friends, you gotta talk. Just a few times a day. Everyone is different, some people require less social interaction to be satisfied. Some people need social interaction every hour, others need it a few times a week. And, as you get older you will change your social preferences frequently. If you can't adapt to these changes you will go postal.

    So instead of just walking around minding your own buisness, if you find yourself walking down a hallway next to some random dude, ask him why your teacher is such a *****, or why "...", or just something. It could be as simple as one sentence and he does is nod, but who cares.

    What I have noticed in my short 18 years is that people who avoid talking with others is being immature.
  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Members
    edited September 2004
    <!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Sep 20 2004, 06:53 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Sep 20 2004, 06:53 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> You're like me in your superiority complex, but at least I had a few friends.  A year on, they've all buggered off to uni so I'm not very sociable at the mo.  The people at my part-time job are quite fun, but they're not the kind of people I'd normally befriend.

    The weird thing is, I'm never sure if this affects me or not.  I don't feel any major loss, but I'm sure I'd prefer having friends (not just amiable acquaintances) I could talk to face-to-face rather than over the internet. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    The superiority complex is pretty much a generic human trait. Pretty much all succsessful humans belive themselfs to be, at very least, superior to the people around them. It goes so far that many people construct thier worldviews around it, valuing greatness in thier hobbies and skills above all other pursuits in humanity.

    I'm no psychologist, but I would theorize, from my best observations, that any person that doesn't have some manifested version of a superiority complex is mentally unbalanced, and probably suffering from at least intermediate depression.
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    Yay I'm not alone! Camo.0 knows my pain. Of course, in my university I'm a giant bloody minority so that makes it somewhat harder than it would normally be. That and gamers don't exist at TCU. Oh how I hate valley girls.
  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    ~blink~

    you know supposedly gamers are actually a highly sociable type of person... some of them just don't know how to interact =3

    I'm kinda weird with friends; I'll always be there through thick or thin for you when I'm around but if I'm not you'll probably have trouble getting much of a chat out of me, let alone much else. I tend to cut ties a bit too easily but I'm fiercely loyal to friends who I have around me at any one time.

    Go figure huh? ^^

    I'm generally chatty and outgoing unless I'm feeling moody which isn't often so catching acquaintances isn't a problem. Friends are just something that come with time as long as you bother to make with the niceness =D

    If some stranger suddenly starts chatterng away to you while you're waiting at a bustop with them it's probably me <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
    Supposedly I'm a good listener though so I'm not like those people swift described =P
  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Members
    edited September 2004
    Post a lan party notice with your phone # cold, I can just about gaurenttee you that gamers do exist, they are probably just hiding under valley girls. Even if you never end up having the party, at least you have talked to some fellow nerds, and possibly set up some future social interaction on that front.

    [edit] Just because a person is a compusive extrovert, doesn't make them a poor listener, it ussually just means they are practically incapable of holding deeper relationships. Interaction with people for them is pretty much how much fun you can have together and what kind of crap you can get into together. They don't run very deeply into other people's lives, at least not very often... Awesome people to hang out with at a party, or a trip to the mall though <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Introverts get tired when they have to juggle relationships, but thier social requirements are the same, so consequently they keep a few close relationships which they ussually take a long long time to develop. But once its there, its like coil said, the person could easily cut you down, but they don't because they are a real friend.

    [edit2] Sorry gem, that didn't sound right, I'm not trying to pin down your personality type, its just a subject that interests me, so when you leave an opening I jump it <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    Well most people consider me an introvert but in high school I made friends with every person under the sun. I hung out with the Goths. I hung out with the Preps. The gamers. The Anime freaks (as in addicts). The Science club kids. The Academic Decathlon kids. The Emo kids. I knew all the people from all the different groups and I had different times of the day when I met with each of them. But my high school was really really diverse you see. But when I came to my university I was practically snow-blinded I'd never seen so many Caucasian people in one place before. (Not to be offensive but they were about 30% of the population at my old high school.)

    But that really isn't the big reason why I'm having trouble at this place. The <i>biggest</i> reason, or reasons I should say is because A.) I commute, so I have 2-4 hours in the morning everyday to meet people and make friends before I head home and B.) I have nothing in common with those people. They all have their country clubs and their second homes while my single-parent home shakes on its foundation because of my father's negligence. What do I talk to these people about? How can I relate to them? The answer is: I can't. Hell I can't even hold a lan party and find out where the gamers are there because since I don't live on campus, I can't have the party closer than a 30 minute drive away.

    I apologize, this isn't my thread and I ranted in it. You are under no circumstances obligated to read that. ^
  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    This is why I believe doing university from home rather than taking student accomodation is just bad overall. sure you save money and stuff but you miss out on too much =/

    As for my 'type' I wouldn't worry... I don't really click into categories well but I don't think many people do. I fit my star sign to a T but that's about it really ^^
    I'm definitely closer to the extrovert than introvert by a good long mile though =3

    Still there's a big difference between acquaintances, friends and super mega closest bestest friends XD
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