Two Crazy Weeks
Har_Har_the_Pirate
Join Date: 2003-08-10 Member: 19388Members, Constellation
Join Date: 2003-08-10 Member: 19388Members, Constellation
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">Explosions, Car wrecks, idiots, mayhem</div> Well i just got done with my first two weeks of work at Jiffy Lube. Not a bad job but not the most exciting, or usually they say. My first two weeks however have been great.
<b>Car crashes</b>
The firts involved me. I was sitting at a insection goin to work, for the passed minute, 1 small truck behind me. Look in my rear view mirror and think wow that chick is hot. Then I see a white mustang goin about 25 miles per hour and slams into the truck behind me. They than get slammed into me. Me and the other truck pull off the side of the road but the bastard chick in the mustang burns rubber out of there (her car is pretty messed up) The truck behind me is also messed up in the rear. My bumper is tweaked about 7 inchs or so, nothing too bad. Meanwhile the chick behind me is freaking the hell out. OMG OMG OMG what should i do? Calm down is a good start i tell her. Than cops arrive 1 minute later and are unable to apprehend the crazy mustange women.
The second was at the insection by work. I didnt see it but I heard honking than the worlds biggest crash in the world. And a white mustang is totaled to crap (not the same one that was involved with me, this one was new, i think got just dont like white mustangs.) Pretty cool looking if it was on real tv. Any, the big ford or dodge truck didnt really take to much damage. It was raised and was on top of the front of the mustang.
No one hurt in either
<b>Mayhem/Explosions</b>
THis is pretty fun, this guy Tony, is a lil, slow, good guy just a lil slow. He was filling up the transmission fluid on acar. , him and another guy are just talkin. He had the hose over the whole fluid cap, letting so air in, Finally he takes off the hose and the transmission fluid goes everywhere. all over. He just stood there all confused. Kinda felt bad but couldnt help but laugh. his shirt was soaked, the car was soaked, It was just hilarious for some reason. While cleanin it up we were still laughing. i guess you had to be there
<b>Idiots/Funny</b> stupid stupid questions here
customer :you guys do oil changes?
me: no we sell tires and do grochery service ( ithought he was joking the way he said it)
customer: Im here for my free oil change
me : HUH? we do free top off's between oil changes
customer: are you sure?
me: I think so, but let me get my manager (i love doin that, just to annoy the manager)
customer: do you sell tires here?
me : im sorry, we mainly do engine maintnance such as oil changes, engine flushes etc (while thinking, do you friggen see any tires here
customer: where do they sell tires around here
me: Across the street they sell tires ("McCarren tires and car detailing" in big huge friggen sign across street)
customer: do you know what kind?
me: well, probably car tires (half jokingly)
me: can you drive up to the orange cone plz?
them: (they drive right over it and out the front and back door looking confused as hell)
me :WTH is goin on and telling her to stop
them:oh i didnt see the cone, im so sorry
me:its quite alright mam, at least no one was hurt (while thinking old people should never touch a steering wheel ever again)
them: do you guys change oil for automatics too
me: uhh yeah
them: can i pay this inside or do i have to do it online?
me:... ( would have thought someone to askt he opposite)
them: do you like working in the cold?
me: oh yeah, its a real joy (thanks you butt hole, while rain is seeping inside <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> )
them:do you guys wash the windows too?
me: yes we do, (as i have a squeegie in my hand and am scrubbing a window)
<b>Car crashes</b>
The firts involved me. I was sitting at a insection goin to work, for the passed minute, 1 small truck behind me. Look in my rear view mirror and think wow that chick is hot. Then I see a white mustang goin about 25 miles per hour and slams into the truck behind me. They than get slammed into me. Me and the other truck pull off the side of the road but the bastard chick in the mustang burns rubber out of there (her car is pretty messed up) The truck behind me is also messed up in the rear. My bumper is tweaked about 7 inchs or so, nothing too bad. Meanwhile the chick behind me is freaking the hell out. OMG OMG OMG what should i do? Calm down is a good start i tell her. Than cops arrive 1 minute later and are unable to apprehend the crazy mustange women.
The second was at the insection by work. I didnt see it but I heard honking than the worlds biggest crash in the world. And a white mustang is totaled to crap (not the same one that was involved with me, this one was new, i think got just dont like white mustangs.) Pretty cool looking if it was on real tv. Any, the big ford or dodge truck didnt really take to much damage. It was raised and was on top of the front of the mustang.
No one hurt in either
<b>Mayhem/Explosions</b>
THis is pretty fun, this guy Tony, is a lil, slow, good guy just a lil slow. He was filling up the transmission fluid on acar. , him and another guy are just talkin. He had the hose over the whole fluid cap, letting so air in, Finally he takes off the hose and the transmission fluid goes everywhere. all over. He just stood there all confused. Kinda felt bad but couldnt help but laugh. his shirt was soaked, the car was soaked, It was just hilarious for some reason. While cleanin it up we were still laughing. i guess you had to be there
<b>Idiots/Funny</b> stupid stupid questions here
customer :you guys do oil changes?
me: no we sell tires and do grochery service ( ithought he was joking the way he said it)
customer: Im here for my free oil change
me : HUH? we do free top off's between oil changes
customer: are you sure?
me: I think so, but let me get my manager (i love doin that, just to annoy the manager)
customer: do you sell tires here?
me : im sorry, we mainly do engine maintnance such as oil changes, engine flushes etc (while thinking, do you friggen see any tires here
customer: where do they sell tires around here
me: Across the street they sell tires ("McCarren tires and car detailing" in big huge friggen sign across street)
customer: do you know what kind?
me: well, probably car tires (half jokingly)
me: can you drive up to the orange cone plz?
them: (they drive right over it and out the front and back door looking confused as hell)
me :WTH is goin on and telling her to stop
them:oh i didnt see the cone, im so sorry
me:its quite alright mam, at least no one was hurt (while thinking old people should never touch a steering wheel ever again)
them: do you guys change oil for automatics too
me: uhh yeah
them: can i pay this inside or do i have to do it online?
me:... ( would have thought someone to askt he opposite)
them: do you like working in the cold?
me: oh yeah, its a real joy (thanks you butt hole, while rain is seeping inside <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> )
them:do you guys wash the windows too?
me: yes we do, (as i have a squeegie in my hand and am scrubbing a window)
Comments
*EDIT* Oh so <i>this</i> is the thread you want to stay.
yeah im really bored...
edit:... lots of sp errors ...
Well i just got done with my first two weeks of work at Jiffy Lube. Not a bad job but not the most exciting, or usually they say. My first two weeks however have been great.
Car crashes
The firts involved me. I was sitting at a insection goin to <span style='color:red'>the strip club</span>, for the past minute, 1 <span style='color:red'>monster</span> truck behind me. Look in my rear view mirror and think wow that chick is hot. Then I see a white mustang goin about <span style='color:red'>125</span> miles per hour and slams into the truck behind me. They than get slammed into me. Me and the other truck pull off the side of the road but the bastard chick in the mustang <span style='color:red'>is laying dead on her steering wheel with a large metal pole through her eye</span> (her car is pretty messed up) The truck behind me is also <span style='color:red'>on fire</span>. My bumper is <span style='color:red'>on fire too</span>, nothing too bad. Meanwhile the chick behind me is <span style='color:red'>runnin around on fire...... nude</span>. OMG OMG OMG what should i do? <span style='color:red'>put your face on the ground and get ready for some pyrophelia</span> is a good start i tell her. Then cops arrive 1 minute later and<span style='color:red'>, afraid theyll discover my past felonys, i open fire, killing five police officers</span>
The second was at the insection by work. I didnt see it but I heard honking than the worlds biggest crash in the world. And a white mustang is totaled to crap (not the same one that was involved with me, this one was new, i think got just dont like white mustangs.) Pretty cool looking if it was on real tv. Any, the big ford or dodge truck didnt really take to much damage. It was raised and was on top of the front of the mustang. <span style='color:red'> and the driver had a face full of tail pipe.. meaning he/she was dead... with a tail pipe through his/her face.... eye...</span>
No one hurt in either<span style='color:red'>, except for the hermaphrodite</span>
Mayhem/Explosions
THis is pretty fun, this guy Tony, is a lil, slow, good guy just a lil slow. He was filling up the transmission fluid on acar. , him and another guy are just talkin. He had the hose over the whole fluid cap, letting so air in, Finally he takes off the hose and the transmission fluid goes everywhere. all over. He just stood there all confused. <span style='color:red'> i found out the stuff wasnt really transmission fluid as much as it was gasoline, so i lit a match and burned him to the ground. </span>Kinda felt bad but couldnt help but laugh. <span style='color:red'>he was dead, the car was on fire</span>, It was just hilarious for some reason. While cleanin it up we were still laughing. i guess you had to be there
Idiots/Funny stupid stupid questions here
customer :you guys do oil changes?
me: no<span style='color:red'>, but ill shoot you in the face</span>
customer: Im here for my free oil change
me : HUH?
customer: <span style='color:red'>an oil change, i want one, for free</span>
me: <span style='color:red'>*shot him in the face</span>
customer: do you sell tires here?
me : im sorry, we mainly do engine maintnance such as oil changes, engine flushes etc (while thinking, do you friggen see any tires here
customer: where do they sell tires around here
me: Across the street they sell ti<span style='color:red'>... oooh my god IS GODZILLA ACROSS THE STREET!! RUUUN</span>
me: can you drive up to the orange <span style='color:red'>bomb please</span>
them: (they drive right over it and out the front and back door looking confused as hell)
me :WTH is goin on and telling her to stop
them:oh i didnt see the <span style='color:red'>bomb</span>, im so sorry
me:its quite alright mam, at least no one was hurt <span style='color:red'>till i shove this bomb down your throat</span>
them: do you guys change oil for automatics too
me: uhh yeah <span style='color:red'>*mged in the face</span>
them: can i pay this inside or do i have to do it online?
me: <span style='color:red'>inside please</span>
them: do you like working in the cold?
me: <span style='color:red'>no, because im really a demon, searching for souls to recruit for satans army, so that we may overthrow the earth, and then... HEAVENNNNNN</span>
them:do you guys wash the windows too?
me: <span style='color:red'>i wash your face!
them: *squeegied in the face*</span>
Wow! So big it's redundant!