Cannabilism Website?
the_x5
the Xzianthian Join Date: 2004-03-02 Member: 27041Members, Constellation
the Xzianthian Join Date: 2004-03-02 Member: 27041Members, Constellation
<div class="IPBDescription">what!?</div> I was looking for information on the freezing point for human flesh (it's close to 0 degree but a little bit below it and lower for different tissues), and this came up:
<a href='http://www.cannibalism.org.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=5' target='_blank'>http://www.cannibalism.org.uk/modules.php?...e=article&sid=5</a>
At first I was like <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->, but then I realized it was just a joke.
Do you guys think this is funny? <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <s>I don't get the joke.</s> nevermind *rolleyes* <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
~edit~
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I read a joke recently which many people might find offensive, whereas I found it funny. The joke goes thusly:
Q - "What's blue and knocks on the window?"
A - "A Baby in a fishtank."
Now I found that funny. But if I actually saw a baby in a fishtank, drowning, I would not be so quick to laugh. For me it's the unexpected twist in the answer which makes the joke funny. I'm not laughing at the idea of a drowning child, I'm laughing at, to borrow an excellently turned phrase, "the confounding of my expectations".<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ok that I can understand while I myself find that offensive and would save the child and attack the responsible criminal without any hesitation I can understand the "confounding of my expectations" bit.
PS: Didn't really find the information on freezing I wanted so a wind chill chart will have to suffice for my reply to the Cryogenics thread. brb.
~edit~
I get it now. Ok post your best versions of this style of humor.
<a href='http://www.cannibalism.org.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=5' target='_blank'>http://www.cannibalism.org.uk/modules.php?...e=article&sid=5</a>
At first I was like <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->, but then I realized it was just a joke.
Do you guys think this is funny? <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <s>I don't get the joke.</s> nevermind *rolleyes* <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
~edit~
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I read a joke recently which many people might find offensive, whereas I found it funny. The joke goes thusly:
Q - "What's blue and knocks on the window?"
A - "A Baby in a fishtank."
Now I found that funny. But if I actually saw a baby in a fishtank, drowning, I would not be so quick to laugh. For me it's the unexpected twist in the answer which makes the joke funny. I'm not laughing at the idea of a drowning child, I'm laughing at, to borrow an excellently turned phrase, "the confounding of my expectations".<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ok that I can understand while I myself find that offensive and would save the child and attack the responsible criminal without any hesitation I can understand the "confounding of my expectations" bit.
PS: Didn't really find the information on freezing I wanted so a wind chill chart will have to suffice for my reply to the Cryogenics thread. brb.
~edit~
I get it now. Ok post your best versions of this style of humor.
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
-You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork!
What makes it funny is it's so out there, so beyond tasteless, that you can't help but laugh. Or atleast I can't. You haven't by chance been the BonsaiKitten.com have you?[/COLOR]
What's the difference between a Lamboghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lamby in my garage.
The thing is, the joke's finish so completely unexpected that you just chuckle.
Kinda like: What's the difference between a dog?
A: Because elephants don't eat pancakes!
We can have a baby on your doorstep within hours of your order. No checks, no social worker visits, no-thing. All for a reasonably reasonable price.
For a slightly greater cost AHC will also gift wrap the baby and deliver it as a gift to any UK address. We'll even write the card! For your total baby-delivering experience the AHC is the only choice you need to make.
DISCLAIMER: Please note that, for safety reasons, we cannot deliver more than 4 babies a week to the same address.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Here's a particulary horrible one, not neccessarily baby oriented but, mean none the less
How do you keep Helen Keller busy?
Either answer works:
Rearrange her furniture
or
Give her a basketball to read
<.< I've got a lot of these
Q: How did Helen Keller loose her arm?
A: Reading road signs. *whoosh*
That kind of funny? <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
PS: I have 1337 posts!!! WOOHOO!
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->The court case of Richard Langott set a legal precedent in July 1982 when Langott was cleared of murdering his wife of 20 years due to his cannibalism. Langott, a registered cannibal, said he was "hungry after working all day" and returned home to find his wife, Rachel, had not cooked his meal. Desperate for nourishment he had killed her and eaten her. Richard was let off as the judge ruled he acted in self-defence - in that had he not eaten his wife she may have let him starve to death<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->The AHC would like to state publicly that bomb threats are not a valid form of protest<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<img src='http://www.cannibalism.org.uk/original/images/cancon/cancon03logo.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
<!--QuoteBegin-canni slang+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (canni slang)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
Long pig
Human flesh
Ninging the meat
Process of starving victims to remove excess fat
Killjoy-Silk
Meat from a person against cannibalism<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Either answer works:
Rearrange her furniture
or
Give her a basketball to read
<!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Q. Why can't Hellen Keller drive?
A. Because she's a woman.
A: With a Blendor!
Q: How do you get them back out again?
A: With tortilla chips!
Ive got way too many of these also...
oh, and dead baby jokes ftw!
note, mine tend to be worse then others, so stop reading now <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->
why did the dead baby fall out of the tree?
Because it was Dead.
Why did the second dead baby fall out of the tree?
Stapled to the first one.
Why did the 3rd dead baby fall out of the tree?
hit by the first 2.
Whats worse then 10 dead babies in a trash can?
One dead baby in 10 trash cans.
Whats worse then a pile of dead babies?
The Live one in the center?
Worse then that?
Its trying to eat its way out.
Worse then that?
It succeded and its coming your way!
What is white, read and has problems getting through doors?
Baby with a spear in its head.
the last few are just wrong, even I ahve to be realy tired before I find them funny (like right now)
What do you get from a dead baby?
I don't know about you, but I get a raging hardon.
Whats 12" long and makes women scream all night?
Crib Death.
A: Art.
answer 1: take your foot off its head.
answer 2: a cup of milk and 2 scoops of dead baby.
a baby with forks in its eyes.
<span style='color:red'>***Locked.***</span>