New Canadian Rant
<div class="IPBDescription">google pwns me</div> I found this on my friends webpage:
I was born here in Canada, but I am a minority in Vancouver, Richmond, Banff, Toronto, and in every damned casino in this country.
I was born in 19**, and yet I am responsible for some greedy Indian's great-great-grandfather who screwed himself out of his land back in the1800's.
I live in Canada, but I pay import taxes on cars made in Ontario.
I am allowed to skydive, bungee-jump, and smoke, but I am not allowed to drive a car without wearing a seat belt.
All the money that I make up until the middle of July must go to pay taxes to support an "official language" that I do not speak, and the cultural celebrations of new immigrants who hate the culture of the people that let them in. I could go to jail just for saying this, and yet I still believe that I am free.
I live and work amongst people who believe that Americans are all ignorant bastards. These are the same people who cannot name this country's newest Territory.
Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft Dinner, and I don't have a pot to pee in, I can still sleep well, knowing that I've helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled Chinese refugee.
And although they are completely unpatriotic and are constantly trying to separate, Quebec still provides my nation's Prime Ministers.
Ninety-five percent of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.
My government tells me that I'm supposed to call black people "African-Canadians". Although I am quite sure that very few of them have ever been to Africa.
Oh, and I believe that paying a two hundred percent tax on alcohol is fair.
Yes, and even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave my Dad when he was fourteen, I will still be considered a criminal if I don't register it by January and it happens to be in my basement.
I often bad-mouth the United States, and then I vacation there every summer.
I am led to believe that some lazy-assed unionised government-employed broom- pusher who makes seventeen thirty five an hour is underpaid, and therefore must go on strike; but paying ten dollars an hour to some young guy who works twelve hour shifts at forty-below zero on an oil rig is fair.
And I firmly believe that paying thirty million dollars for three red stripes on white canvas ("The Voice of Fire") by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though ninety-nine percent of this country did not want it - or will ever see it.
When I look at my pay stub and realise that I take home just a third of what I actually make, I sigh and say "Oh well, at least we have a better health care system than the Americans".
My National Anthem has two versions, one in both official languages; and yet I was never taught either of them. I was taught, however, that all my ancestors were racist bigots. I was taught that the veterans who fought for my country were war-mongering imperialists fighting for sexist capitalism.
My country's history cannot be taught in schools because it might awaken a sense of national pride, and undermine the government's agenda to make Canada into the great multi-cultural socialist state dreamed up by Pearson and Trudeau, and that it might offend the new immigrants who do not speak my language and have only lived here for three years, but will vote for the Liberal Party and keep them in power forever.
And Canada is the highest-taxed nation in North America, the biggest military buffer for the United States, and the number one preferred destination for all fleeing boat-people and international terrorists.
I am not an angry white male/female.
I am an angry broke taxpayer.
My name is mirrodin and I AM CANADIAN!!!
I was born here in Canada, but I am a minority in Vancouver, Richmond, Banff, Toronto, and in every damned casino in this country.
I was born in 19**, and yet I am responsible for some greedy Indian's great-great-grandfather who screwed himself out of his land back in the1800's.
I live in Canada, but I pay import taxes on cars made in Ontario.
I am allowed to skydive, bungee-jump, and smoke, but I am not allowed to drive a car without wearing a seat belt.
All the money that I make up until the middle of July must go to pay taxes to support an "official language" that I do not speak, and the cultural celebrations of new immigrants who hate the culture of the people that let them in. I could go to jail just for saying this, and yet I still believe that I am free.
I live and work amongst people who believe that Americans are all ignorant bastards. These are the same people who cannot name this country's newest Territory.
Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft Dinner, and I don't have a pot to pee in, I can still sleep well, knowing that I've helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled Chinese refugee.
And although they are completely unpatriotic and are constantly trying to separate, Quebec still provides my nation's Prime Ministers.
Ninety-five percent of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.
My government tells me that I'm supposed to call black people "African-Canadians". Although I am quite sure that very few of them have ever been to Africa.
Oh, and I believe that paying a two hundred percent tax on alcohol is fair.
Yes, and even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave my Dad when he was fourteen, I will still be considered a criminal if I don't register it by January and it happens to be in my basement.
I often bad-mouth the United States, and then I vacation there every summer.
I am led to believe that some lazy-assed unionised government-employed broom- pusher who makes seventeen thirty five an hour is underpaid, and therefore must go on strike; but paying ten dollars an hour to some young guy who works twelve hour shifts at forty-below zero on an oil rig is fair.
And I firmly believe that paying thirty million dollars for three red stripes on white canvas ("The Voice of Fire") by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though ninety-nine percent of this country did not want it - or will ever see it.
When I look at my pay stub and realise that I take home just a third of what I actually make, I sigh and say "Oh well, at least we have a better health care system than the Americans".
My National Anthem has two versions, one in both official languages; and yet I was never taught either of them. I was taught, however, that all my ancestors were racist bigots. I was taught that the veterans who fought for my country were war-mongering imperialists fighting for sexist capitalism.
My country's history cannot be taught in schools because it might awaken a sense of national pride, and undermine the government's agenda to make Canada into the great multi-cultural socialist state dreamed up by Pearson and Trudeau, and that it might offend the new immigrants who do not speak my language and have only lived here for three years, but will vote for the Liberal Party and keep them in power forever.
And Canada is the highest-taxed nation in North America, the biggest military buffer for the United States, and the number one preferred destination for all fleeing boat-people and international terrorists.
I am not an angry white male/female.
I am an angry broke taxpayer.
My name is mirrodin and I AM CANADIAN!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
Damn, that's harsh.
Well, I am Albertan, so I just need to say... it's true. I am a simple minded dweeb. All countries have problems. and we can bash all day long. Meh <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
But I will leave this locked, since no good will come out of it.