The Complex Way To Get A Girl's Number

AlienCowAlienCow Join Date: 2003-09-20 Member: 21040Members
<div class="IPBDescription">...Method #1</div> So I spent hours considering this last night, me being the most nervous and shy and generally scared person in the world. I came up with an excellent way of getting the aforementioned girl, <b>S</b>, to get to know me a bit better.

<u>Apparatus Required</u>:

1 imminent Valentine's Day celebration.
1 rose.
1 piece of card and a pen.
1 friend, <b>D</b>, who already knows <b>S</b>. All parties involved should own phones.

<u>Method</u>:

<b>Step 1</b>: Write a message on the piece of card with the pen. In this case, the message "Thank you." That is, thank you for adding a little light to my dark and depressing life.

<b>Step 2</b>: Attach to rose.

<b>Step 3</b>: Send rose and card to <b>S</b>, via her school.

<b>Step 4</b>: <b>S</b> receives rose, and wonders who it could be from. After all, there's no name on it. S decides to ring some of her male friends, including <b>D</b>, in the hope that they can enlighten her.

<b>Step 5</b>: <b>D</b> casually drops the hint that he may know who sent it, <b>AlienCow</b>. <b>D</b> gives <b>S</b> <b>AlienCow</b>'s mobile phone number.

<b>Step 6</b>: <b>S</b> contacts <b>AlienCow</b> and the two live happily ever after together.

<b>Step 7</b>: Thank <b>D</b> for his good work, and invite him to the wedding.

<u>Results</u>:

N/A

<u>Conclusion</u>:

Make sure that aforementioned girl, <b>S</b>, is not interested in someone else before <b>Step 1</b> is approached.

<u>Evaluation</u>:

I should have made sure that aforementioned girl, <b>S</b>, was not interested in someone else before I considered approaching <b>Step 1</b>. Crap. I hate living.
«1345

Comments

  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    edited February 2005
    Method 2 [note: this is the correct method]:

    Obtain testicles.
    Apply testicles.
    Approach girl.
    Joke around with girl.
    Ask girl for number.
    Record number.
    Joke.
    Leave.

    Edit: Any other method is doomed to fail. Hooking a girl through trickery, even assuming that it works at all, won't assure that you have the mental/testicular fortitude to actually sustain a worthwhile relationship. The moral of the story? If you don't have the guts to woo the girl yourself, you won't have the guts to entertain a proper [on any level] relationship.
  • duvelduvel Join Date: 2004-02-09 Member: 26318Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    euh yea right, like method 1 was good in the '60 - these days girls want method 2

    buy yourself good looking shoes and whatever fits the body, a nice parfum, get a haircut and then method 2, eventually that is life, nothing is forever and it must be done over and over, man is a hunter and she must be hunted.

    not my girl but her sister and her mom abuses the method 1 guys and the money she gets out of them to buy new stuff with to then again use method 2 on guys still practising with method 1.

    scary huh <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • SpetsnazSpetsnaz Join Date: 2003-12-26 Member: 24761Members, Constellation
    or know girl through High School
    Get to college
    break up long term relationship that she has with another guy, happens to be a best mate
    get with girl!

    seems my method deffently needs tweaking
  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-mayer+Feb 8 2005, 10:57 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (mayer @ Feb 8 2005, 10:57 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> not my girl but her sister and her mom abuses the method 1 guys and the money she gets out of them to buy new stuff with to then again use method 2 on guys still practising with method 1. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Hey, that money was just going to be wasted anyway, right? May as well be on her than on someone else <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Also, what the hell is 'parfum'?
  • MouseMouse The Lighter Side of Pessimism Join Date: 2002-03-02 Member: 263Members, NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Shadow
    Narrow Down the field early on
    Make idle chatter interspersed with witty quips
    Rummage through her bag with her permission (know thy enemy)
    Notice that you're not the only one pining for her fjords (so to speak)
    Recruit friends to run interception on this third party.
    Exchange numbers.
    Part ways.
    Taunt the third party who failed to recieve her number.
    Attempt to go somewhere together.
    Fail thanks to conflicting schedules.
    Move into an apartment that's a 90 minute drive from her home
    Lack a car
    Wimper as your efforts are rendered null and void.
    Move on.
  • JezpuhJezpuh Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15157Banned
  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    I NEED MORE RES NODES
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Mouse+Feb 8 2005, 05:01 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Mouse @ Feb 8 2005, 05:01 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Narrow Down the field early on
    Make idle chatter interspersed with witty quips
    Rummage through her bag with her permission (know thy enemy)
    Notice that you're not the only one pining for her fjords (so to speak)
    Recruit friends to run interception on this third party.
    Exchange numbers.
    Part ways.
    Taunt the third party who failed to recieve her number.
    Attempt to go somewhere together.
    Fail thanks to conflicting schedules.
    Move into an apartment that's a 90 minute drive from her home
    Lack a car
    Wimper as your efforts are rendered null and void.
    Move on. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Take what this guy says with a grain of salt. His usual pickup line is "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
  • DepotDepot The ModFather Join Date: 2002-11-09 Member: 7956Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-AlienCow+Feb 8 2005, 08:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (AlienCow @ Feb 8 2005, 08:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><u>Conclusion</u>:

    Make sure that aforementioned girl, <b>S</b>, is not interested in someone else before <b>Step 1</b> is approached.

    <u>Evaluation</u>:

    I should have made sure that aforementioned girl, <b>S</b>, was not interested in someone else before I considered approaching <b>Step 1</b>. Crap. I hate living.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Your Conclusion and Evaluation could very well be incorrect. Unless it's your best friend's g/f or her b/f is a 350lb sumu wrestler or maybe sleeps with a pistol under his pillow, or maybe even is an escaped felon, go for it - all is fair in love and war bro.

    This isn't speculation on my part, it's my philosophy gained from actual experiences. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • esunaesuna Rock Bottom Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15175Members, Constellation
    You're all going through too much trouble.

    Step 1: Stalk girl home so you find out her address.
    Step 2: Call directory enquiries (or similar) and get the phone number to the address you stalked her to.
    <s>Step 3: Profit.</s>
    Step 3: Call her up and breathe heavily down the phone.
  • V_MANV_MAN V-MAN Join Date: 2002-11-03 Member: 6217Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-emperor awesome+Feb 8 2005, 01:22 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (emperor awesome @ Feb 8 2005, 01:22 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Method 2 [note: this is the correct method]:

    Obtain testicles.
    Apply testicles.
    Approach girl.
    Joke around with girl.
    Ask girl for number.
    Record number.
    Joke.
    Leave.

    Edit: Any other method is doomed to fail. Hooking a girl through trickery, even assuming that it works at all, won't assure that you have the mental/testicular fortitude to actually sustain a worthwhile relationship. The moral of the story? If you don't have the guts to woo the girl yourself, you won't have the guts to entertain a proper [on any level] relationship. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    ^^^^

    Bite the bullet and go ask he out
  • MouseMouse The Lighter Side of Pessimism Join Date: 2002-03-02 Member: 263Members, NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Shadow
    <!--QuoteBegin-esuna+Feb 8 2005, 11:33 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Feb 8 2005, 11:33 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> You're all going through too much trouble.

    Step 1: Stalk girl home so you find out her address.
    Step 2: Call directory enquiries (or similar) and get the phone number to the address you stalked her to.
    <s>Step 3: Profit.</s>
    Step 3: Call her up and breathe heavily down the phone. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Step 4: Finally admit that your mother doesn't love you.
  • kidakida Join Date: 2003-02-20 Member: 13778Members
    step 1:

    "yo what's up. your like so hawt... hollla me back babe...omg you make me so h@rd...wow! and great bodz... totally hip like agulera...u like? yeah, she is totally hawt too. well, i mean...not as hawtz as you! but damz u have nice ****...honestly..can i have your number?"
  • AlienCowAlienCow Join Date: 2003-09-20 Member: 21040Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-kwikloader+Feb 8 2005, 01:26 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (kwikloader @ Feb 8 2005, 01:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Your Conclusion and Evaluation could very well be incorrect. Unless it's your best friend's g/f or her b/f is a 350lb sumu wrestler or maybe sleeps with a pistol under his pillow, or maybe even is an escaped felon, go for it - all is fair in love and war bro.

    This isn't speculation on my part, it's my philosophy gained from actual experiences. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Well I'm waiting to see what happens lol, I've ordered the rose, and rumour has it she really wanted one...she'll get it, but who knows what kind of reaction there'll be ^_^

    And don't make fun of my cheesy method, I'm a hopeless romantic wise beyond my years. Not wise enough though.

    And luckily I live in the UK, so there shall be no pistols at dawn. Or any other time of the day.
  • kidakida Join Date: 2003-02-20 Member: 13778Members
    edited February 2005
    hey man. all the more power to you for taking a next step that most of us "in reality" losers and loners cannot; who are infact stuck with the geeky botanist, who also happens to work in a flower and porno store combined shop.

    true story.
  • EpidemicEpidemic Dark Force Gorge Join Date: 2003-06-29 Member: 17781Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-kwikloader+Feb 8 2005, 02:26 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (kwikloader @ Feb 8 2005, 02:26 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-AlienCow+Feb 8 2005, 08:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (AlienCow @ Feb 8 2005, 08:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><u>Conclusion</u>:

    Make sure that aforementioned girl, <b>S</b>, is not interested in someone else before <b>Step 1</b> is approached.

    <u>Evaluation</u>:

    I should have made sure that aforementioned girl, <b>S</b>, was not interested in someone else before I considered approaching <b>Step 1</b>. Crap. I hate living.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Your Conclusion and Evaluation could very well be incorrect. Unless it's your best friend's g/f or her b/f is a 350lb sumu wrestler or maybe sleeps with a pistol under his pillow, or maybe even is an escaped felon, go for it - all is fair in love and war bro.

    This isn't speculation on my part, it's my philosophy gained from actual experiences. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    You better hold onto your wife then <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • SidSid Corwid of the Free Join Date: 2003-01-28 Member: 12903Members, Constellation
    Be yourself.




    ...If that doesn't work, Horse Tranquilizers usually do. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • ShzarShzar Join Date: 2003-09-21 Member: 21098Members, Constellation
    This post is serious until the very last bit.

    I actually think it's a good idea, AlienCow. I would buy my own girlfriend flowers, if she weren't allergic to them. I sould suggest writing something else, or something additional, to 'Thank you' on the note, however. I can't really help you there, maybe something like 'AN IMP SPAWNS BEHIND YOU'.
  • Owen1Owen1 Join Date: 2003-04-13 Member: 15457Members
    meh... most of the serious women i've had were brought about by violence and drama. Ended similarly too. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Best option for you is to actually put your name on the card, mysteriousness can just turn you into a stalker or some slimey guy.
  • StormLiongStormLiong Join Date: 2002-12-27 Member: 11569Members
    hmmm
    well Ive tried this with no success (or maybe I am crap at it)

    1. Spot the person you like (M)
    2. Chat up with M
    3. Get to know M and while in the process become close friends with M
    4. Figure out if M is really the one to go for
    5. Once figured out, and answer is yes, scheme an elaborate plan to confess to her

    You have two choices from there on
    5.1 Just say it plainly and to the point
    5.2 Make up some story and hint along the way

    Finally
    6. Wait for her reaction

    You will probably get the reaction
    6.1 She feels the same way and woot happy life
    6.2 She says "lets just be friends"
    6.3 She screams that you had the galls to even confess to her and end friendship ;p

    Lets just say for me, 6.1 never happened ;p But i did gain some good friends

    Still I think nanites shud help alot
  • im_lostim_lost TWG Rule Guru Join Date: 2003-04-26 Member: 15861Members
    edited February 2005
    I thought the use of a letter rather than a pseudonym was kind of funny.

    Anyway, you should definitely go for it AlienCow, heeding whatever advice here from others seems useful.
  • ToneeTonee Wub wuB UK Join Date: 2003-10-25 Member: 21926Members, Constellation
    ALL YOUR PLANS ARE FOILED FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SCARED TO TALK TO WOMEN

    MUHHAHAHA... o that includes me...
  • AlienCowAlienCow Join Date: 2003-09-20 Member: 21040Members
    (Incidentally, as I'm home ill at the moment I got my mate to send it for me, pretty sure he put my name on it)

    Anyways, thanks for the "advice" from some of you, and the real advice from others lol.

    I have vaguely got to know her previously, although I only met her a couple of weeks ago at a party. We stayed up till about 8 am talking, I just thought we seemed to click. And I was being serious about her bringing light into my dingy existence, I'm a generally depressed person, and just talking to her has made me feel better about myself recently.

    Still, gotta wait and see what happens next..
  • kidakida Join Date: 2003-02-20 Member: 13778Members
    man. i really hope this works out for you. i'm rooting for you...

    go alien!
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    Say a random name directed at a nice girl
    Apologise, saying she looked like one of your hot friends.
    Tell her she's nice, you would like to go for a drink but you haven't got time now as you got to find your "friend" who isn't there.
    Ask for number.


    ^^ Its worked twice for my mate, and he's tried it twice, never had to use it myself though.
  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-kida+Feb 8 2005, 08:54 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (kida @ Feb 8 2005, 08:54 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> step 1:

    "yo what's up. your like so hawt... hollla me back babe...omg you make me so h@rd...wow! and great bodz... totally hip like agulera...u like? yeah, she is totally hawt too. well, i mean...not as hawtz as you! but damz u have nice ****...honestly..can i have your number?" <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Always works on the girls that are 18< or have that mentality.
  • SupernornSupernorn Best. Picture. Ever. Made. Ever. Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7608Members, Constellation
    Hey, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
    Heh, if the girl were stupid enough to smell it then you probably didn't need the chloroform after all.
  • MulletMullet Join Date: 2003-04-28 Member: 15910Members, Constellation
    edited February 2005
    Just make her think you have lots of money and you're good to go. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
    Step 1: Lying is good
    Step 2: Pretend to be rich
    Step 3: When you get into a more serious relationship with her, insult her, maybe smack her around a bit. Cheat on her. They love it (Why else would they insist on staying with that kind of guy)
    Step 4: Get her pregnant and run like the wind.
    Step 5: Find new girl. Repeat steps 1-4.

    Welcome to society, enjoy your stay.
Sign In or Register to comment.