Bees

funbagsfunbags Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17099Members
<div class="IPBDescription">A little story.</div> I hate bees. I hate them. I've been stung 30 times. 4 incidents total. 1 here and there, then 27 when I opened the lid to a farmer's colony of honeybees to get at the honey. (I love honey. I love it.) Today, I found a wasp's nest inside a birds nest on my patio. I thought for awhile about what I should do, and came up with a plan:

The only way out for those suckers is via the big hole for the birds, which is small enough so I could duct tape it shut (I love duct tape. I love it.) It took me about 10 minutes to get all my materials together (Paintball mask, Gasoline, Matches, Tape, Escape route.) Then, an extra 3 minutes for my balls to inflate big enough so I could let myself willingly smack a wasps nest. (Even though I was smacking tape on the front.)

BAM. Then I unhung the birds nest (Made of wood) from the tree. I sprinted to the firepit in my lawn. I tossed it in, and doused it with gasoline. I lit it. I redoused it 6 or 7 times because I hate bees. I hate them. And I love fire. I love it. I put out the fire, and kicked open the roof of the nest. To my surprise, the hive itself wasn't destroyed at all and neither were the larvae. All the wasps were dead, though. (PHEW.) After 5 minutes of just staring at it, I got REALLY curious. I got a few needles and a razor blade. I started disecting the queen I found, and various larvae. I was genuinly fascinated. My grandma came out and yelled at me cause it was 12:30 in the morning. I saved the hive parts, and will continue my "research" tomorrow because it's so flipping cool. My hatred for bees has become a respectful fascination.
«1

Comments

  • SinSpawnSinSpawn Harbinger of Suffering Join Date: 2002-11-12 Member: 8359Members
    For a moment I thought you were going to explain about the 'birds and bees' <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • funbagsfunbags Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17099Members
    I'm sorry to disappoint.
  • JaspJasp Join Date: 2003-02-04 Member: 13076Members
    Is their only me that finds this post very distasteful.

    All things have a right to exist.
  • PulsePulse To create, to create and escape. Join Date: 2002-08-29 Member: 1248Members, Constellation
    <img src='http://img13.echo.cx/img13/7532/bees3bz.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Members
    Good for you. Bees suck. If they sting me I like....die. One time one stung me right above the eye, and my eyelid swelled up to the size of an egg. I couldn't see out of it for days and I looked like Quasimodo. Wasn't fun.
  • panda_de_malheureuxpanda_de_malheureux Join Date: 2003-12-26 Member: 24775Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Pulse+May 12 2005, 08:25 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Pulse @ May 12 2005, 08:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <a href='http://img13.echo.cx/img13/7532/bees3bz.jpg' target='_blank'>http://img13.echo.cx/img13/7532/bees3bz.jpg</a> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I completely agree.
  • Private_ColemanPrivate_Coleman PhD in Video Games Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7510Members
    I've never been stung! I'm like a bee dodging ninja.
  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Jasp+May 12 2005, 03:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jasp @ May 12 2005, 03:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Is their only me that finds this post very distasteful.

    All things have a right to exist. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Yes. Bees and wasps are evil bastards who I refuse to share my livingspace with, at all costs.

    Every summer, without fail, I put up happy joy bee jars. At first it's just a jar with honey and sugar in there, but once you knowtice some traffic, dumb a good half a bottle of rubbing alcohol in and give her a good shake. Leave the thing out and you get a jar littereally swimming with dead wasps. The entertainment value alone is astonishing.
  • PulsePulse To create, to create and escape. Join Date: 2002-08-29 Member: 1248Members, Constellation
    Notice. It's <i>notice</i>.

    I know this sounds kind of petty, but you need to stop that. Every time I see it, part of me dies.
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    Bees like me. They land on me all the time, but they don't make an noise and I don't feel it since they're on my clothes and not my skin. When I notice them I'm like "AGRAJRAJGAJA" and dance around until they fly away, slightly miffed and wondering what the heck is up with me. Then they just land on me again.
  • Private_ColemanPrivate_Coleman PhD in Video Games Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7510Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-TychoCelchuuu+May 12 2005, 06:45 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (TychoCelchuuu @ May 12 2005, 06:45 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Bees like me. They land on me all the time, but they don't make an noise and I don't feel it since they're on my clothes and not my skin. When I notice them I'm like "AGRAJRAJGAJA" and dance around until they fly away, slightly miffed and wondering what the heck is up with me. Then they just land on me again. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    You are cursed.
  • SupernornSupernorn Best. Picture. Ever. Made. Ever. Join Date: 2002-11-07 Member: 7608Members, Constellation
    Bees are fine. Its the bloody wasps you need to avoid.
  • Black_ViperBlack_Viper Join Date: 2003-12-08 Member: 24157Members
    Good thing u didnt get hit by one of them wasps, they sting multiple times, i know i had a nest land on me, some 10 wasps... I ran around the garage and jumped into my pool before they stoped... from 10 wasps, only 3 stung me, and there was 3 or 4 punctures per wasp... aka 9-12 little stinging holes in me...


    But Bee's are worse, they have a small amount of venom/poisen in the stinger that remains in the skin, not only does it hurt but it makes other bee's go crazy... Ive never been stung by a bee, but wasps hurt too...



    Oh ya, i burned the nest after i was done crying my eyes out... (I was only 6)



    What would win, a nest of Bee's or a Nest of Wasps?

    Im putting my money on Bee's...
  • Nil_IQNil_IQ Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15520Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Swiftspear+May 12 2005, 04:21 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Swiftspear @ May 12 2005, 04:21 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Jasp+May 12 2005, 03:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jasp @ May 12 2005, 03:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Is their only me that finds this post very distasteful.

    All things have a right to exist. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Yes. Bees and wasps are evil bastards who I refuse to share my livingspace with, at all costs. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Amen.

    Wasps are FAR more evil than bees, although when you see a blur of buzzing yellow and black hurtling towards you, it's pretty hard to tell the difference.

    We tend to get the beginnings of a wasp's nest in our shed every year, the little buggers don't seem to learn that it's a bad idea to build there.

    The first year there were two of them building, and my dad just bugsprayed em.

    The second year there was only one, my dad had no bugspray to hand, but he DID have a can of metallic spray-paint. He later showed us the "terminator wasp" he had created.

    The year after they tried yet again; only one this time. My dad smokes, so he always has a lighter on him. There was also a can of WD40 on the table. Pfwoosh!

    They haven't come back for the last 3 years now <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • CyndaneCyndane Join Date: 2003-11-15 Member: 22913Members
    I would like to state for the record as long as you are not allergic to bee stings they are a lot less severe then wasps. Due to the muliple strings and the fact wasps have like 564648948465465 stronger muscles in their abdomens.

    I've been stung by both, it sucks.
  • panda_de_malheureuxpanda_de_malheureux Join Date: 2003-12-26 Member: 24775Members
    I've never been stung.. by anything. Is there something wrong with me?

    <span style='font-size:2pt;line-height:100%'>I am not bubble boy.</span>
  • funbagsfunbags Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17099Members
    Bees are pretty much harmless, unless you **** them off. They mind their own business untill you screw with their hive, which is understandable and their sting (Which they can only do once) isn't as bad as a wasps bite.

    Bumble Bees (Honey Bees) are fine, and sometimes cute. And I love honey.

    Wasps are aggressive, painful, and serve no purpose to me.
  • antifreezeantifreeze The guy with the goods&#33; Join Date: 2003-05-12 Member: 16232Members, Constellation
    All wasps need to be napalmed. Bees i have no problem with, they understand if they sting you they will die, so don't sting.
  • SvenpaSvenpa Wait, what? Join Date: 2004-01-03 Member: 25012Members, Constellation
    In 5th grade I had maximum bad luck. I were going to take my bike home and while I strpped on my helmet and a little SoaB wasp flew in under the strap and stung me in the throat. Since then I've had wasp foobie. I also started hanging up half apples, as they swarm it I take out my gun and shoot as many of them as I can (They aint even trying to flee) <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::lerk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/lerk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='lerk.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Fog_cartoonsFog_cartoons Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20658Members
    Bees are the amazing creatures of the world. Within all reason they shouldn't be able to fly as they are right tubbies but they do anyway, serriously Bees are always happy until something pisses them off, whether its you or someone else...


    Now Hornets, they are BAAAAADDDDDDDDD.....
  • SLizerSLizer Join Date: 2003-11-07 Member: 22363Members, Constellation
    Yes im always fraking with them to. Im hugily allergig to our finnish mosqitoes and I wont even want to image bee sting...
  • AlienCowAlienCow Join Date: 2003-09-20 Member: 21040Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Jasp+May 12 2005, 08:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jasp @ May 12 2005, 08:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Is their only me that finds this post very distasteful.

    All things have a right to exist. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    You're only saying that coz Jasp is close to Wasp, and you could be next.

    But yeh, I think thats remarkably cruel, despite how much I like fire.
  • DepotDepot The ModFather Join Date: 2002-11-09 Member: 7956Members
    edited May 2005
    Labor Day 2004, the day after the hurricane passed through (don't ask me which one, 5 struck Florida last season). I was raking yard debris off of my elevated walkway that winds from the patio down through the yard to the water's edge.

    The river was swollen due to the storm and came about 1/4 of the way up my back yard, covering my boat slip and part of said walkway. I got to the water's edge making my last swoop with the rake and WOWZA ... a swarm of yellowjackets covered me in a black cyclone like you see in the cartoons.

    Seems the swollen waters had forced them to relocate, and bees HATE rain as it washes the pollen from the flowers and they can't eat - it highly agitates them. At first I thought they were fire ants they were so small, but as soon as they engulfed me and it got dark I knew I was in deep khakha ...

    I ran towards the house swatting them off left and right, then I tripped and fell. They ate me alive and I screamed at the top of my lungs and swatted them till I was black and blue. Neighbors heard screams but water makes sound travel funny, plus I was lying down at the time, so no one could see me.

    I made it to the house and hosed them off. I ran in through the garage and got naked as they were still inside my clothes. Then I ran in the house to take a shower, toweled off and called 911. they arrived like 90 seconds later and treated me for an allergic reaction on the way to the ER (I found out later I never had a reaction).

    I have never EVAR been in that much pain in all my life. They estimated I suffered nearly 50 stings on EVERY damn part of my body. Yellowjackets don't lose their stinger (few bees do) and can sting you multiple times. The good news is each subsequent sting will have less poison on it. After I was released from the ER I went home to house without electricity for 4-1/2 days and suffered like hell ... <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Paid $135.00 USD to get that damn hive exterminated. There's STILL a hole under the deck the size of a soccer ball ... meh.
  • SwiftspearSwiftspear Custim tital Join Date: 2003-10-29 Member: 22097Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-AlienCow+May 12 2005, 02:11 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (AlienCow @ May 12 2005, 02:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Jasp+May 12 2005, 08:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jasp @ May 12 2005, 08:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Is their only me that finds this post very distasteful.

    All things have a right to exist. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    You're only saying that coz Jasp is close to Wasp, and you could be next.

    But yeh, I think thats remarkably cruel, despite how much I like fire. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Get over yourself. Those ****ers would burn you alive and eat your flesh if they had the opposible limbs and intellegence to do so.
  • DaJMastaDaJMasta Join Date: 2005-01-10 Member: 34750Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Svenpa+May 12 2005, 11:38 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Svenpa @ May 12 2005, 11:38 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> In 5th grade I had maximum bad luck. I were going to take my bike home and while I strpped on my helmet and a little SoaB wasp flew in under the strap and stung me in the throat. Since then I've had wasp foobie. I also started hanging up half apples, as they swarm it I take out my gun and shoot as many of them as I can (They aint even trying to flee) <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::lerk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/lerk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='lerk.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    haha same experience except it was 1st grade and square in the back of the neck...



    Man i would have enjoyed doing that burning stuff is fun.
    O, and u seem to love and hate quite a bit, a little bit bipolar of a post? <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Kouji_SanKouji_San Sr. Hινε Uρкεερεг - EUPT Deputy The Netherlands Join Date: 2003-05-13 Member: 16271Members, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    Aren't hornets and wasps the same creature o.O

    These are 100% of the time agressive and will attack anything that gets in their way or simply annoys them

    Honey Bees and Bumble bees (you know the fatties):

    These only live to collect as much nektar to create their honey. Sometimes the get stuck in my garage. I just catch them and release them, all they do then is fly of and go on with their work.

    Did the same thing with a wasp one time and it flipping turned on me. That's gratitude for ya <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • RatonetwothreetwooneRatonetwothreetwoone Join Date: 2004-03-23 Member: 27504Members
    oooh nurse the larvae and breed your own wasps... teach them to attack on command and create a new colony of funbags bees!

    this reminds me of a thing i saw on the national geographic channel about giant asian hornets.. like 50 at a time will attack an asian honey bees nest and kill every-frickin-bee in there.. just tear them apart.. literally.. grab them and rip them in half... then bring the bodies back to their young to eat... sooo flipping badass... and the honeys bees defense is to collect themselves around a hornet and vibrate raising the temperature of the hornet to like 100 degrees or so, since the hornets max body temp is less than the honey bees.. it truly is fascinating..
  • DepotDepot The ModFather Join Date: 2002-11-09 Member: 7956Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Kouji San+May 12 2005, 05:11 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Kouji San @ May 12 2005, 05:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Aren't hornets and wasps the same creature o.O

    These are 100% of the time agressive and will attack anything that gets in their way or simply annoys them

    Honey Bees and Bumble bees (you know the fatties):

    These only live to collect as much nektar to create their honey. Sometimes the get stuck in my garage. I just catch them and release them, all they do then is fly of and go on with their work.

    Did the same thing with a wasp one time and it flipping turned on me. That's gratitude for ya <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><b>Hornets- </b>

    These have large grayish-brown carton like structure, many times hanging from a tree or bush. They are considered wasps. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Yellowjackets are also from the wasp family.
  • DY357LXDY357LX Playing since day 1. Still can&#39;t Comm. England Join Date: 2002-10-27 Member: 1651Members, Constellation
    <b>funbags</b> - thats the 2nd best story i've heard all day.

    1st being this one from my friend Ian in work.

    Apparently a friend of his had to work at an animal rescue place for a week as part of his school's work experience week scheme thingy. Anyways, someone brings in a small bird with an injury to it's wing. They nurse it back to health, apply a splint and generally be cool people for helping a tiny animal. Then the day comes to release the bird back into the wild. The manager/boss type person tells his padawan/apprentice to hold the bird out in his cupped hands and it'll fly away of it's own accord. 2 minutes later the bird is still in his hands to the ranger/manager/boss guys sugests throwing the bird up in the air and it'll fly off. The bird gets a light lob into the air, hits a tree and dies.

    I felt horrible for laughing but it was just the most unexpected ending ever.
  • Owen1Owen1 Join Date: 2003-04-13 Member: 15457Members
Sign In or Register to comment.