Just Found Out
BulletHead
Join Date: 2004-07-22 Member: 30049Members
Join Date: 2004-07-22 Member: 30049Members
<div class="IPBDescription">One of my best friends is ****</div> Aight, well, in MY opinion, it's no big. He knows where I stand (Straight and happily dating) and now I' know where he stands... but I've found out something disturbing
It is BECAUSE of him being g a y that his parents are on the verge of disowning him. His mother attacks him with whatever she can grab when she's angry... one day he came into school with long, thin wounds on the back of his wrists where she attacked him with a wire clothes hanger. He is in the process for emancipation, and there are families on standby waiting to take him in...
what I want to know is this- how do I let him KNOW that I know he's g a y, yet also let him know this doesn't mean jack all to me and that he's still my friend and has my respect no matter what. He's already lost some friends over this, and I don't want to distress him any by telling him outright. I was a little upset that he didn't tell me himself (I was actually thinking of setting him up on a blind date with a girl I know... damn glad I didn't do that. To top it off, I found out today that the girl is Lesbian... I just seem to have this awsome ability to be completely oblivious to any kind of signs as to sexual orientation)
*sigh* I feel sorry for him... 8 years of HELL because of something so trivial as that... what can a friend do for him?
edit- goddamn swear filter... if I hadn't seen that who KNOWS what it could have been mis-interperated as
It is BECAUSE of him being g a y that his parents are on the verge of disowning him. His mother attacks him with whatever she can grab when she's angry... one day he came into school with long, thin wounds on the back of his wrists where she attacked him with a wire clothes hanger. He is in the process for emancipation, and there are families on standby waiting to take him in...
what I want to know is this- how do I let him KNOW that I know he's g a y, yet also let him know this doesn't mean jack all to me and that he's still my friend and has my respect no matter what. He's already lost some friends over this, and I don't want to distress him any by telling him outright. I was a little upset that he didn't tell me himself (I was actually thinking of setting him up on a blind date with a girl I know... damn glad I didn't do that. To top it off, I found out today that the girl is Lesbian... I just seem to have this awsome ability to be completely oblivious to any kind of signs as to sexual orientation)
*sigh* I feel sorry for him... 8 years of HELL because of something so trivial as that... what can a friend do for him?
edit- goddamn swear filter... if I hadn't seen that who KNOWS what it could have been mis-interperated as
Comments
Is how i would do it.
Anyway, just talk to him, it seems the right thing to do, if his family situation is really that bad, he's definatly going to need somebody there for him, make yourself available for talking.
I don't know his mom, but maybe she'll calm down later on, maybe not, but whatever happens, he has good friends, and I beleive that as concerned as you sound that you are in fact a good friend.
I hope everything works out for him, good luck to you as well!
Well, I found out by reading his profile on the MyWebSpace account... I'm 100% sure it's his, and found it cause I had just made my own and was being nosey and wanted to see how many of my friends had accounts 0o' I confirmed it by talking to a gal in summer school (yes, I failed.... english... ) who is good friends with him and has been for nearly 6 years. (didn't know that till I talked to her... and she's the one I was gonna set him on a blind date with 0o') so yeah, I'm sure.
Heh, I'd need to get him to my house somehow to pull that "Hey, I know yer g*y, no big, wanna go play Halo?" thing. Other than that, it might work <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Anyway, just talk to him, it seems the right thing to do, if his family situation is really that bad, he's definatly going to need somebody there for him, make yourself available for talking.
I don't know his mom, but maybe she'll calm down later on, maybe not, but whatever happens, he has good friends, and I beleive that as concerned as you sound that you are in fact a good friend.
I hope everything works out for him, good luck to you as well! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
SUYF youre so **** <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
hmm... anyway... i dont know any **** people that arent jerks
Is how i would do it. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hahaha that's great. Why do you want to let him know that you know he's ****?
Because no one uses the word Lesbian in a derogatory sense, you damn lesbian.
j/k
As for the topic on hand, I can't say I have ever been in a situation of "finding out" a friend is of a sexual orientation in which the like the same gender. Most of them are just say "Oh, yeah, and I like men/women. You know.. <i>sexually</i>"
Sucks about his parents. I know how that is - mine have pretty much disowned me as well for my sexuality.
I think that bringing it up with him sometime is a good idea. Just be very casual, bring it up, be humorous if you can. If he wants to talk about it, go for it, otherwise just go play Halo or whatever.
Something as simple as "Hey - just so you know. If you're ****, I'm cool with it, and I'm still your friend. I just wanted you to know that." That way, you're not being confrontational, and he can come out to you on his own time.
We knew because he said some of the strangest stuff, such as "On Manbeef Dot Com, you can sell your kidneys for like $5000 a pop."
Silence ensued.
We knew because he said some of the strangest stuff, such as "On Manbeef Dot Com, you can sell your kidneys for like $5000 a pop."
Silence ensued. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I say that kinda stuff all the time, and I'm probably straight. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Probably.
<!--QuoteBegin-sheena yanai+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (sheena yanai)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->since when it got hard to say the word "homosexual" ?<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
God forbid we abbreviate words!
My parents were actually pretty decent about it, in my case. Dad mostly sees it as 'your choice, though I wouldn't follow it myself'... and Mom still thinks it's 'a phase'. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> Even if she still won't let me say the big three letters in front of my little sister, and gets all sour-looking if I start.
Heh... and I know there'd be hell to pay if I brought my boyfriend by to introduce everyone. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Short version is, it really doesn't make any difference who you share a bed with. Doesn't neccessarily change you at all.
I don't know if he's actually bi or if he just gave up on females after being rejected so much, but either way it still doesn't matter to me.
Because we knew more than one 'andrew' most of the guys would call him '*** andy' to make it easier which one we were talking about but it was never really taken by anyone to be a negative thing or name calling; even *** andy himself didn't seem all that phased by it back when he was still in the closet :o
I don't know if he's actually bi or if he just gave up on females after being rejected so much, but either way it still doesn't matter to me. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
While scientific evidence exists to prove that *** are different then straights psychologically, I'm pretty sure the theory that someone can truly be bisexual has been shot down, not withstanding transgender cases.
Tell him to quit sitting on the fence and pick a side, the term for people turned on by sex in general is pervert in my book. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<span style='color:red'>STOP!</span>
You'll probably need to call CPS. I assume he's under 18 yes? That is what we call child abuse. The result of which is that the child is immmediately removed from the home, a later midemeanor or felony conviction is possible for the perp. Cydane would probably know more about this.
Also you need to discuss such a situation with your friend. But <b>FIRST</b> you need to discuss this calmly and rationally with your friend. Tell how you feel. Ask him how he feels. See if your family would be willing to adopt him. It would eb best if you can get him out of there and into a safe home.
<span style='color:orange'>My recommmended immediate course of action:</span>
<span style='color:gray'><b>1.</b> </span><span style='color:yellow'>Discuss this with your friend. Call him NOW!</span>
<span style='color:gray'><b>2.</b> </span><span style='color:yellow'>Get him out of there! If you've got real evidence and the situation is ugly (can't just get him out of there) call CPS. </span>
PS: Guys this <i>is</i> serious. I can't believe some of you are immature and disrespectful enough to turn this into a word filter complaint thread! Jeeze. *shakes head in disappointment* I know a few of you think he might just be making this up for attention but we shouldn't assume that. However I feel I speak for everyone when I say we would like to know the WHOLE story now please BulletHead. You you know of any other beatings with objects? Has he gotten the "just fell down" syndrome and had other injuries like dislocated joints, broken bones, etc. Are there two sides to this story? He he doing soemthing else to make her mad?
the interesting part of the study was that while hetero and homo males test results were synced, in other words when they moved the lever to signifiy if they were aroused or not, their physical reaction was recorded as the same.
However, when the self proclaimed bisexual men were asked to do the same, the results from their lever-guides were almost always the <i>opposite</i> of the *real* results from the genitalia.
The test can be taken a few ways, but one of the ways it could be intepreted is that sexual arousal is not neccesarily an always physical thing, and that perhaps bisexuals have developed in such a way that mental arousal comes before physical sexual arousal? or perhaps the two are seperate from each other.
in any case, it's food for thought.
I know this might sound mean, but I really don't care about some random kid with undefined problems at home.
<span style='color:red'>STOP!</span>
You'll probably need to call CPS. I assume he's under 18 yes? That is what we call child abuse. The result of which is that the child is immmediately removed from the home, a later midemeanor or felony conviction is possible for the perp. Cydane would probably know more about this.
Also you need to discuss such a situation with your friend. But <b>FIRST</b> you need to discuss this calmly and rationally with your friend. Tell how you feel. Ask him how he feels. See if your family would be willing to adopt him. It would eb best if you can get him out of there and into a safe home.
<span style='color:orange'>My recommmended immediate course of action:</span>
<span style='color:gray'><b>1.</b> </span><span style='color:yellow'>Discuss this with your friend. Call him NOW!</span>
<span style='color:gray'><b>2.</b> </span><span style='color:yellow'>Get him out of there! If you've got real evidence and the situation is ugly (can't just get him out of there) call CPS. </span>
PS: Guys this <i>is</i> serious. I can't believe some of you are immature and disrespectful enough to turn this into a word filter complaint thread! Jeeze. *shakes head in disappointment* I know a few of you think he might just be making this up for attention but we shouldn't assume that. However I feel I speak for everyone when I say we would like to know the WHOLE story now please BulletHead. You you know of any other beatings with objects? Has he gotten the "just fell down" syndrome and had other injuries like dislocated joints, broken bones, etc. Are there two sides to this story? He he doing soemthing else to make her mad? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
It's already been done, hence why he's being emancipated at age 17 (he's been in this process for a while now)
*blinks* I've never known how many homosexual people we had in the community 0o' Guess you never do really know someone till you straight up ask em? *shrugs* Eh, no big. Ya'll're still the same peeps to me mah homies! G yeah! XD (I've always wanted to say that, GG GTA SA XD)
But, in all seriousness... short of beatin the tar out of his mother I can't figure any faster way to get him out of there
On the issue of whether to reveal to your friend if you know or not, I would probably tell him I know. This is based upon my mentality, I've never been in this kind of a situation...