Hoo Boy...
CommunistWithAGun
Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">So my friend wants to die</div> Basically, I've got a friend who shall remain nameless (as if it would matter since this is a forum), who has managed to convince himself that life is not worth living, and damn he makes one good case. I talked to him on MSN for nearly 3 hours on the topic. He wants to kill himself, not because of some emo reason, but because he literally can not find a single reason worth living. He is a very intelligent person and had a decent life planned out for himself.
Then one day in highschool he just gave up on it all. Right after graduation he fell into a slump and became hugely anti-social. Didn't go out or do things with friends for nearly an entire year, and just recently visited some friends as a group. He dropped out of college, won't get a job, and I have talked to his parents saying he cries himself to sleep on a nightly basis, and I am at a complete loss as to what to do. I want to call someone but I don't know if he really would do it. He has said "I'd have killed myself long ago but I'm too much of a coward"
I have a pretty good idea that the reason he feels this way was a total complete heartbreak he went through during highschool, and after it happend he pretty much had a nervous breakdown. He claims he feels this way not for some "stupid emo reason" but he "can't analytically find a single logical reason to survive any longer"
:|
Then one day in highschool he just gave up on it all. Right after graduation he fell into a slump and became hugely anti-social. Didn't go out or do things with friends for nearly an entire year, and just recently visited some friends as a group. He dropped out of college, won't get a job, and I have talked to his parents saying he cries himself to sleep on a nightly basis, and I am at a complete loss as to what to do. I want to call someone but I don't know if he really would do it. He has said "I'd have killed myself long ago but I'm too much of a coward"
I have a pretty good idea that the reason he feels this way was a total complete heartbreak he went through during highschool, and after it happend he pretty much had a nervous breakdown. He claims he feels this way not for some "stupid emo reason" but he "can't analytically find a single logical reason to survive any longer"
:|
Comments
But to help your friend, well, I cant but good luck with trying.
Make a new friend.
Points for quote identification. But seriosly, this sounds like an open and shut case for prozac or some other such, or at the very least some heavy pro help, as has been mentioned already. Get the kid to a psychiatrist, no matter what Mr Cruise says.
Cwag, get him help. Now. Suicide counselor, police, whoever. He's depressed, and even though he might be thinking analytically, his mind is stewing in a funk of self-hate. He's not going to last long.
If you can't help him, <i>for the love of God,</i> find someone who can.
I'd go with the counciller though... I've wasted too much net-time beating the suicide out of people in the past and not only does it take forever but it's rather depressing :p
tell him life is worth living, that he should go get drunk some more, stay off the internet (too damn additive) and dont do drugs, mkay?
You either get up off your arse, and stare out your bad misfortunes until they back off, or you pull the trigger. It takes courage to do either, and the choice is justified, so make a prayer make a wish make a statement, and do what you gotta do.
I contemplated suicide a week ago, I threw the magazine across the room and took a break, i went for a walk, i went for a run, i read, i drew... it's better to live and have a little pain than die and miss everything.
If that doesn't work, get a hold of anyone you think would be able to help. Parents, cops, teachers; hell, you could even try calling the suicide hotline yourself. I expect that they probably have measures in place for dealing with that.
If that doesn't work, get a hold of anyone you think would be able to help. Parents, cops, teachers; hell, you could even try calling the suicide hotline yourself. I expect that they probably have measures in place for dealing with that. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
insane banned me from #ns then we engaged in a conversation about how depressing his sig is. However, we are not sure that just becuase we think that the man is sad / dying - he might be happy.. you know?
You should join forces with some volunteer work coordinators to find some volunteer work that you personally are willing to do. Then after you've gone, coax him into coming a few times. Do that for a few weeks and I honestly think the problem will simply go away.
I mention "go away" as a solution, because when you really get down to it, the difference between suicidal people and "normal" people is that "normal" people simply don't question the point of life, and even if they do, they don't give the answer much weight.
You can't logically justify that not existing is preferable to existing. To do so would mean being able to compare non-existance with existance, which you can not do. If you were to not exist, there would be no way to reflect upon the experience, and thus, you would not be able to appreciate it. Therefore, there is no way to justify a preference for non-existance.
Short version: Don't like life, huh? Well it beats the alternative.
You can't logically justify that not existing is preferable to existing. To do so would mean being able to compare non-existance with existance, which you can not do. If you were to not exist, there would be no way to reflect upon the experience, and thus, you would not be able to appreciate it. Therefore, there is no way to justify a preference for non-existance.
Short version: Don't like life, huh? Well it beats the alternative. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
well he obviously prefers the alternative, because he is in pain somehow. you need to find out what exactly is causing his depression, and address it. does he feel useless cause he can't find a job? a girlfriend? you should just try to bring him to some fun stuff like a movie or something. take him to see the new deuce bigalow movie and buy him a lots of sugary stuff while you're at it
Don't send him to a what looks like a crappy movie. Oddly enough, Wedding Crashers wasn't bad. Take him to that. Owen Wilson's character at one point adopts a "why even live?" attitude at one point, then snaps out of it. So that could help.
Points for quote identification.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Brave New World?
"Argue with him", "make a new friend", "feed him happy pills", "maybe that's really what he wants" is all BS. Your friend needs to see a professional as soon as possible. There are counsellors that specialise in suicide prevention, which you might be able to get a hold of.
The fact that he's told you about it, and that he said he's "too much of a coward" <i>proves</i> that he doesn't want to die. It might be that suicide is the only option he can see left, but that <i>definately</i> doesn't mean he's happy with the idea. I can't stress how important it is that he get professional help as soon as possible.
Points for quote identification. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Utopia FOR THE WIN.
Do what everyone else has said and get him a psychiatrist, there's not really much else you can do.
The fact of the matter is, it <b>is</b> quite patently an emo thing, the only thing that allows us to commit suicide is our conscious thought, which is being able to have an opinion on something, an opinion which is manifested in emotional states.
His denial of what it is would suggest that he doesn't want to face up to it, which is why he is pretending that it's something else.
Last year my flatmate told me the exact same words that you posted:
"I'd have killed myself long ago but I'm too much of a coward"
About two weeks later he did jump in front of a car. In reflection, and knowing him to be an intelligent person, it wasn't a suicide attempt in my opinion. If he wanted to end his life he could have done so, but in fact he'd chosen a bend in the road where cars have to slow down, and came out of it all with only cuts and bruises.
What all this adds up to is that what he said before and his 'suicide attempt' were cries for help. This is what I believe your friend is doing by telling you that he wants to kill himself. When he says he <i>can't think of any reason to live</i> he's looking for a response to reassure him that he is needed and appreciated, and worth something on this earth.
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What I'd advise you to do, is not to go to the councillor or the psych. He doesn't know these people, so what kind of impression are you giving him if you refer the problem to someone else? He might interpret it as if his friends don't value him enough to help directly so they'll make him someone else's problem.
In short, you have to make him feel wanted. Get him to socialise. Tell his family and friends that he's feeling depressed and needs loving. Don't make him feel like a leper, just show him that he is a valuable member of his family, his circle of friends, his neighbourhood, his society, his nation, this Earth.
Feel free to PM me if you want more advice.
Points for quote identification. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Utopia FOR THE WIN. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
101 points to you!
Gary's my boy!
Psychologists are expensive, but 1: having suicidal thoughts is a <i>life threatening</i> condition. That's not an area to cut corners to save money in. 2: there are often organisations which provide counseling for depressed and\or suicidal people free of charge, such as anonymous helplines or university counselors.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->What I'd advise you to do, is not to go to the councillor or the psych. He doesn't know these people, so what kind of impression are you giving him if you refer the problem to someone else? He might interpret it as if his friends don't value him enough to help directly so they'll make him someone else's problem.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->There's a difference between "Go see a shrink!" and "I'm really worried about you, I don't want you to hurt yourself and we need to get you help". This scenario is what mental health people are <i>there</i> for. Besides the fact that they're the best people to ask for advice on how to approach the situation anyway.
Let me stress it again: there <i>are</i> groups who specialise in this sort of thing, especially for adolescents and young adults, and they're often free services. In fact, I seem to recall hearing that someone threatening to kill themself is actually considered a medical emergency on par with other immediately life-threatening conditions (as in, "ring an ambulance!" conditions). Unfortunately, seeing as US health cover sucks compared with ours and others that last bit doesn't necessarily help.
not living?
also tell him that hes loved, no matter what he thinks there are people that will always love him, and anti-socialision, NOT is the way to find out if people love him
On the otherhand, he doesn't really want to die, or he would have killed himself by now. Any resonably intelligent person knows how to do it right, swiftly, and even painlessly if thats a requirement. Even in this case I don't think you should get the state involved, he needs to be willing to seek help on his own. If he were my friend, then I would tell him quite simply to **** or get off the pot. Either kill yourself and save the world the trouble of having to deal with you or seek help. Its really that simple.