'BOREALIS RISING' - A Subnautica Story V2.0.

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  • Rooks_NemesisRooks_Nemesis Ontario Join Date: 2016-06-11 Member: 218388Members
    I'm extremely late to this party being brought here by the Xbox ones preview program, And WOW! I read Aurora falls start to finish within a day and it was simply amazing!

    Now this next comment is also really late aswell but.

    Instead of me coming up with my own theories why did you name the belters ship the De ruyter? Seeing as Michiel De Ruyter is widely considered one of the best admirals in history.. The ship and its crew had a rather quick and horrific end.. Well so did De Ruyter aswell.. Insert arrow (cannon ball) to the knee joke here
  • ComicalSkateComicalSkate Canada, ON Join Date: 2015-05-28 Member: 204993Members
    Why would you tell them you are the same Selkirk! Could you not have waited to get them to safety before saying it. Like after getting them to safety be like; "By the way, I am selkirk, the guy who trapped you down there in the first place! Hope this rescue made up for that!"
    Now this can only go two ways:
    1. Rage fills up within them and they beat you to a pulp. Or
    2. They won't accept your rescue.
    3. I know I said only 2 but it is your story so it could end up you rescue them even after telling them.
  • Pudding01Pudding01 Minnesota Join Date: 2016-05-03 Member: 216308Members
    Why would you tell them you are the same Selkirk! Could you not have waited to get them to safety before saying it. Like after getting them to safety be like; "By the way, I am selkirk, the guy who trapped you down there in the first place! Hope this rescue made up for that!"
    Now this can only go two ways:
    1. Rage fills up within them and they beat you to a pulp. Or
    2. They won't accept your rescue.
    3. I know I said only 2 but it is your story so it could end up you rescue them even after telling them.

    They could start worshiping him...
  • sayerulzsayerulz oregon Join Date: 2015-04-15 Member: 203493Members
    Pudding01 wrote: »
    Why would you tell them you are the same Selkirk! Could you not have waited to get them to safety before saying it. Like after getting them to safety be like; "By the way, I am selkirk, the guy who trapped you down there in the first place! Hope this rescue made up for that!"
    Now this can only go two ways:
    1. Rage fills up within them and they beat you to a pulp. Or
    2. They won't accept your rescue.
    3. I know I said only 2 but it is your story so it could end up you rescue them even after telling them.

    They could start worshiping him...

    That's what I was thinking. It could be like that episode of Firefly.
  • ComicalSkateComicalSkate Canada, ON Join Date: 2015-05-28 Member: 204993Members
    yeah, I guess they could worship him. Never even crossed my mind. But this is like a new generation, they wouldn't know about the world outside and wouldn't care. The facility elders may have told them about the evil torgaljin corp that sent them down here in the first place and the hero, selkirk, who took them down. And they were just caught in the cross-fire and ended up getting stuck down there.
  • DefectivePotatOSDefectivePotatOS Utah Join Date: 2016-05-18 Member: 216964Members
    Aggghhh! Suspense! But I have a question that needs an answer. Why would they still be alive, even that many of them, after over a hundred years? Ahhhh!
  • BugzapperBugzapper Australia Join Date: 2015-03-06 Member: 201744Members
    Instead of me coming up with my own theories why did you name the belters ship the De ruyter? Seeing as Michiel De Ruyter is widely considered one of the best admirals in history.. The ship and its crew had a rather quick and horrific end.. Well so did De Ruyter aswell.. Insert arrow (cannon ball) to the knee joke here

    Good catch. :)

    Actually, 'De Ruyter' ('The Raider') was a nickname bestowed upon, then adopted by the Dutch Admiral Michiel Adriaenszoon.
    Figured it might be a good name for a Torgaljin commercial frigate, given the family's rapacious attitude toward commerce.

  • Rooks_NemesisRooks_Nemesis Ontario Join Date: 2016-06-11 Member: 218388Members
    Good catch. :)

    Actually, 'De Ruyter' ('The Raider') was a nickname bestowed upon, then adopted by the Dutch Admiral Michiel Adriaenszoon.
    Figured it might be a good name for a Torgaljin commercial frigate, given the family's rapacious attitude toward commerce.

    [/quote]

    Exactly why I didn't throw out my own theories lol! Very nicely done!

    Regardless kind sir! I've thoroughly enjoyed reading your tale! I've actually cought myself searching for Selkirks grand reef base location lol
  • cheetored20cheetored20 cheetored20 Join Date: 2016-06-14 Member: 218564Members
    Aggghhh! Suspense! But I have a question that needs an answer. Why would they still be alive, even that many of them, after over a hundred years? Ahhhh!
    becouse life support is still functional and the food replicators still work also they are using thermal generators.
  • WaviestBow6WaviestBow6 Join Date: 2016-06-05 Member: 218131Members
    The way the crew answered him, their either extremely surprised, or extremely angry Or they'll worship him. sounds like surprised though to me but we'll see soon.
  • WaviestBow6WaviestBow6 Join Date: 2016-06-05 Member: 218131Members
    (I highly doubt worship though okay sorry goodbye)
  • BugzapperBugzapper Australia Join Date: 2015-03-06 Member: 201744Members
    edited June 2016
    All things considered, the colonists had acquitted themselves exceedingly well under punishing conditions. Overall, their morale was fair to middling, which was something of an unexpected result. I'd have to say that their shared hardship and sense of solidarity contributed significantly toward their mental welfare and survival, combined with the mercifully early loss of all unnecessary personnel.

    This society is tricky to categorise in terms of its structure, in that it is entirely amorphous. There are no rigidly-defined leaders or any obvious signs of stratification based on the occupations of colonists. A cleaner has precisely the same societal 'weight' as a bio-technician here. Since the colony's one and only tangible goal is its continued survival, there are no artificial incentives to become 'better' than anyone else. At the risk of reaching a facile conclusion, I believe these colonists may have actually succeeded in creating the very first fully functional Anarcho-Syndicalist commune in human-occupied space. Before you start laughing, bear in mind that this particular social structure has lasted longer than the former USSR.

    And it actually works... For them at least.

    However laudable the 'dignity of honest labour' might sound, it doesn't mean a good gorram unless you've got a full belly at the end of each and every day, a comfortable place to sleep and a clear shot at taking a lazy day off every once in a while. JUNO informed me that these colonists have been operating on an average daily caloric intake of 8,500 kilojoules or less for the past couple of months. Roughly half the recommended daily dosage of The Good Stuff. I conjure we can do far better than that. We can also give these folks a future.

    "When we attacked this base a century ago, I sincerely believed that we were doing it for the right reasons. Torgaljin Corporation was holding a powerful life form captive. One that is essential to the continued survival of all life on this planet... Human life included. It is sentient and highly intelligent, as are other inhabitants of this planet. Although humans are still considered unwelcome here, we have been able to prevent any future large-scale attacks such as those inflicted on Aurora and De Ruyter, primarily due to our efforts in rescuing the alien entity known as 'The Father of Tides'."

    I paused for a moment, allowing the holographic projection of these events to catch up with my narration. The colonists were watching intently, apparently hanging onto my every word.

    "Our incursion did not involve lethal force at any point. This was entirely intentional. I realized that only a very small fraction of base personnel would profit from abducting the alien life form. It was also taken into consideration that most of the facility's inhabitants would not be combatants, so every possible safety precaution was taken to ensure zero casualties during this operation."

    Cut to show DIGBY dancing the Rockpuncher Combat Salsa atop his ExoSuit, Percival.

    "However, it was never my intention to subject the majority of this base's inhabitants to any appreciable degree of hardship, and for this I am truly sorry. I felt that it was necessary to delete core technologies capable of producing weapon systems, in order to contain any future ambitions of House Torgal. I also felt that a lengthy 'quarantine' period would permit the colony's social structure to gradually re-align itself into something less hostile to anyone or anything else living on this planet.
    Again, I apologise for any hardship this may have caused."
  • BugzapperBugzapper Australia Join Date: 2015-03-06 Member: 201744Members
    Héloise nodded slowly, her care-worn face taut and carefully non-committal.

    "Pretty words, baas. You say you want to help us. I find myself asking why." She said bluntly.

    Almost wearily, I sat down on a stone bench. After a moment to consider her statement, I replied.

    "Absolution, I guess. I made a terrible mistake, a long time ago. There's no way that I can entirely redress what I've done, leaving you folks alone in the darkness, as I did. The best I can offer is a fresh start, a chance to stand in sunlight on solid ground, breathing air that hasn't had the last atom of vitality sucked from it."

    "Sounds pretty good to me. I've often wondered what it's like up there." Héloise said reflectively. "What do you want from us, in return for all this good fortune?"

    "That's the best part," I grinned. "Absolutely nothing. All I ask is that your people treat this planet with some respect. There are intelligent creatures living here, and they are following their own agenda. There's an understanding of sorts between us at present, and I do not want to see this arrangement jeopardised. It's in your people's best interests as well."

    "Fair enough. What if we don't want to leave here?"

    "No problem. We can provide technical assistance and material aid to improve your living conditions, construct additional facilities, equipment and vehicles to give you access to the world above. Can't exactly conjure why you'd prefer to stay down here, though. Believe me, life's much better topside."

    "I'll take your word for it. We'll need to talk this one through before I can give you an answer."

    "Sure. Take all the time you need. Speaking of which, do your people need anything right at this very moment? We've brought food packs, medical supplies and materials for onsite fabrication."

    Héloise fell silent for a moment, a slow smile dawning on her face.

    "Some of those food packs you mentioned would be a good start... Am I right, mates?"

    A resounding cheer rang through the atrium. I nodded to JUNO, IANTO and DIGBY. Taranis would be waiting in the sub bay by the time we got down there. As an interim measure, I constructed a couple of auto-galleys in alcoves along one side of the atrium. They would need to be stocked with base protein and carbohydrate solutions before they were fully operational, although that didn't stop eager queues from forming the very second the machines materialised.

    I raised my voice to address the minor but orderly crowd that had gathered around the galleys.

    "Okay folks, these galley units will need to be fuelled up first. Just a quick word of warning, though. Please take it easy for your first few meals. I recommend that you eat the food packs my friends are bringing first, because these galleys turn out food considerably richer than what you're used to. There's a good chance your stomachs might rebel if you over-indulge. To be blunt, a definite case of the Trotskies awaits the unwary diner. Fortunately, we have also brought a full range of medicines to soothe a griping tummy. Enjoy."
  • bwc153bwc153 Shawnee, KS, US Join Date: 2016-02-29 Member: 213659Members
    Bugzapper wrote: »
    'If you work, you eat.'
    Fallout 4 settlement settlers reference?

  • BugzapperBugzapper Australia Join Date: 2015-03-06 Member: 201744Members
    bwc153 wrote: »
    Bugzapper wrote: »
    'If you work, you eat.'
    Fallout 4 settlement settlers reference?

    Yep. It's as simple as that. :)
  • sayerulzsayerulz oregon Join Date: 2015-04-15 Member: 203493Members
    Quite frankly Bugzapper, while your writing is pretty good, it has been WAY to long since Selkirk encountered a real problem, and had something not go 100% to plan. So far, for all of this story and the latter part of the last one, he has had absolutely everything perfectly in hand. He has had plans for every possible contingency, and everything has gone exactly how he expects.

    Despite him frequently saying "you never know what this planet is going to throw at you" and "I never know what to expect from this world", he has, for quite some time, known EXACTLY what to expect, and been right in every single action.

    He is right now just seeming like some omnicesnt, infallible being whose plans always work out perfectly in every possible way. That doesn't make for a very good story.

    I find it quite likely I will get hate for saying this, based on a lot of the replys I saw in "Aurora Falls". I hope that you yourself will not be a part of that, as I really am simply trying to give you advice.
  • BugzapperBugzapper Australia Join Date: 2015-03-06 Member: 201744Members
  • RainstormRainstorm Montreal (Quebec) Join Date: 2015-12-15 Member: 210003Members
    I do wonder if we will be blessed with some arch-ennemy in this story as well, like Tomar in the last one. Ohhhh did we love to hate Tomar :smiley:
  • Quantum_AnomalyQuantum_Anomaly Join Date: 2016-06-13 Member: 218496Members
    sayerulz wrote: »
    Quite frankly Bugzapper, while your writing is pretty good, it has been WAY to long since Selkirk encountered a real problem. *snip*

    I'm sure he'll have his share of problems, but how keen would you be on solving stuff if you lived a hundred years on a (now much less) hostile alien world? He's had a super-fast android brain and plenty of time to plan this out. He's not as brash as he was when he arrived. Give it a chapter or two, this is good character development. We have to be re-introduced to the new version of Selkirk. Selkirk the older android. His current problem IS something that didnt go according to plan, it's just more a philosophical issue than a physical threat. Not that I'm harshing your feedback, I get where you're going, just playing devils (Bugzapper's?) advocate B)

  • TenebrousNovaTenebrousNova England Join Date: 2015-12-23 Member: 210206Members
    edited June 2016
    And there's that problem you were asking for, Sayerulz! Not to mention that he still needs to get off the planet at some point with these survivors. I think we know what their ship will be named.

    I wonder if he'll try persuading them at some point to shed their mortality and join him as androids.
  • CoranthCoranth Join Date: 2015-06-02 Member: 205160Members
    Mmmm, snippet... OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!
  • Rooks_NemesisRooks_Nemesis Ontario Join Date: 2016-06-11 Member: 218388Members
    Lol it sounds like the colonists maybe either
    A. Hiding somthing
    B. Not so open about who is in control

    And going back to aurora falls torgaljin corp was VERY interested in selkirks androids... Possible plot twist in the future?

    I'm also starting to think that Selkirk and company hopefully have a change of clothes (bodies) at home.. If this goes badly Selkirk would have given them the one thing that they actually wanted from the get go.. Selkirks own advanced tech.
  • Pudding01Pudding01 Minnesota Join Date: 2016-05-03 Member: 216308Members
    Lol it sounds like the colonists maybe either
    A. Hiding somthing
    B. Not so open about who is in control

    And going back to aurora falls torgaljin corp was VERY interested in selkirks androids... Possible plot twist in the future?

    I'm also starting to think that Selkirk and company hopefully have a change of clothes (bodies) at home.. If this goes badly Selkirk would have given them the one thing that they actually wanted from the get go.. Selkirks own advanced tech.

    I see the main conflict aproaching
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