Nonsense Contest!

p4Samwisep4Samwise Join Date: 2002-12-15 Member: 10831Members
<div class="IPBDescription">with a nod to CRFH!!!</div> The "Off-Topic" summary includes a command to "be random", so I'm going to take that at face value.

Welcome to NS.org's first nonsense contest (that I know of). The rules are simple. No post shall have any logical connection to the one that came before it. Be original. Don't make sense.

I start off with minus ten points for explaining the rules. For future reference, if at any point you walk into a nonsense contest and say "what's going on here?" or "is this a nonsense contest?", you're at minus twenty.


Guitar strings taste like steel vermicelli.
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Comments

  • FamFam Diaper-Wearing Dog On A Ball Join Date: 2002-02-17 Member: 222Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    edited February 2003
    The Oranges were much cheaper, no?
  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    The spaghetti began to attacking me, but a large spatula saved the rhino.
  • WyzcrakWyzcrak Pot Pie Aficionado Join Date: 2002-12-04 Member: 10447Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    And to think you doubted my ability to arrange that meeting... HA! That is rediculous. I've been coordinating meetings like that for 22 years. Why, I remember when Jason Kurkleson first taught me how to arrange meetings like that, back on the farm. Sure, it wasn't a big farm, but it supported the family and gave us kids somewhere to grow up. And having Uncle Sally around was always fun. No one could milk the cows quite like Uncle Sally. Ahh... those were the days...
  • FamFam Diaper-Wearing Dog On A Ball Join Date: 2002-02-17 Member: 222Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    edited February 2003
    <a href='http://about:http://http://http://linklink.link.url' target='_blank'>link</a>
  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    The onos webbed a marine who attacked with his acid rocket, but then the pretty blonde had to be saved, and the crowd threw Canadian beer at Monse.
  • Lightning_BlueLightning_Blue Sunny Domination Join Date: 2002-12-11 Member: 10647Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Silver
    If I edit the server.cfg but forget to reference the adminmod.cfg into the plugins.ini file while tidingup the users file, Nano goes splat on the next map change <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • WyzcrakWyzcrak Pot Pie Aficionado Join Date: 2002-12-04 Member: 10447Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    edited February 2003
    This post is denying the allegations that is was ever edited in public.
  • FamFam Diaper-Wearing Dog On A Ball Join Date: 2002-02-17 Member: 222Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Wait, what? Pigs don't have hands, how are they expected to play the banjo as a stand-in for Mr. McFloppoto?
  • InjuryInjury Mahou Shoujo Join Date: 2002-11-10 Member: 7992Banned
    If is then from a what with a when inside a why and a how.
  • FamFam Diaper-Wearing Dog On A Ball Join Date: 2002-02-17 Member: 222Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> jello <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::gorge::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    edited February 2003
    The zpehyer went to the Californication and cant stop on the love rollercoaster and by the way how long is the 9 inch nails?
  • FamFam Diaper-Wearing Dog On A Ball Join Date: 2002-02-17 Member: 222Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    <img src='http://www.frogsonice.com/foi/gallery/leap2.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
  • VyvnVyvn Join Date: 2002-08-24 Member: 1226Members
    Luther: Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties?

    Einstein: A resonance cascade? Well, I never.

    Luther: Yes.

    Einstein: I tried to warn them this would happen, but the administrator just wouldn't listen.

    Luther: Wouldn't you like to get one of these specimens under a microscope?

    Einstein: I couldn't agree more.

    Luther: Well, you lead the way.

    Einstein: Oh, another headcrab.
  • scioskulkscioskulk Join Date: 2002-11-30 Member: 10273Members
    edited February 2003
    <span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>"Nonsense" -- Doctor Suess</span>
  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    edited February 2003
    <img src='http://www.kenner-cable.com/images/WalMountDescrCrop2.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
  • folkfolk Join Date: 2002-11-14 Member: 8603Banned
    <img src='http://paulw.net/images/shuttle.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
  • RedfordRedford Monorailcatfjord Join Date: 2002-04-28 Member: 528Members, NS1 Playtester
    I WONDERED WHAT TO POST THEN REALISED THAT A REAL PLAYER MENU IN A STRANGE LANGUAGE WOULD BE FANTASTIC.


    I ALSO LIKE PORK

























    PORKPORKPORKPORK
  • JasonBostwickJasonBostwick Blossom Join Date: 2002-04-14 Member: 444Members, NS1 Playtester
    <a href='http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?author=BoZmAn20&ID=87203' target='_blank'>text</a>
  • ComproxComprox *chortle* Canada Join Date: 2002-01-23 Member: 7Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, NS2 Developer, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Silver, Subnautica Developer, Subnautica Playtester, Pistachionauts
    edited February 2003
    <a href='http://www.yahoo.com' target='_blank'>So</a> <a href='http://www.www.com' target='_blank'>the</a> <a href='http://www.spam.com' target='_blank'>chicken</a> <a href='http://www.fragapalooza.com' target='_blank'>leaped</a> <a href='http://www.coke.com' target='_blank'>down</a> <a href='http://www.microsoft.com' target='_blank'>the</a> <a href='http://www.aircanada.com' target='_blank'>runway</a> <a href='http://www.tomshardware.com' target='_blank'>but</a> <a href='http://www.gamespy.com' target='_blank'>sumo</a> <a href='http://www.nhl.com' target='_blank'>wrestlers</a> <a href='http://www.ibm.com' target='_blank'>squished</a> <a href='http://www.kraft.com' target='_blank'>the</a> <a href='http://www.chicken.com' target='_blank'>chickens</a> <a href='http://www.theend.com' target='_blank'>.</a> <a href='http://www.suprise.com' target='_blank'>Suddenly</a> <a href='http://www.evil.com' target='_blank'>Bill</a> <a href='http://www.hell.com' target='_blank'>gates</a> <a href='http://www.money.com' target='_blank'>bought</a> <a href='http://www.me.com' target='_blank'>me</a> <a href='http://www.bored.com' target='_blank'>a</a> <a href='http://www.shiny.com' target='_blank'>new</a> <a href='http://www.porsche.com' target='_blank'>car</a> <a href='http://www.story.com' target='_blank'>but</a> <a href='http://www.jello.com' target='_blank'>some</a> <a href='http://www.gap.com' target='_blank'>jello</a> <a href='http://www.chapters.com' target='_blank'>squished</a> <a href='http://www.altavista.com' target='_blank'>it</a> <a href='http://www.sad.com' target='_blank'>also</a> <a href='http://www.essay.com' target='_blank'>!</a>
  • FamFam Diaper-Wearing Dog On A Ball Join Date: 2002-02-17 Member: 222Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    edited February 2003
    <img src='http://members.cox.net/doomaniac/speedbump.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Members
    But the hairy-toed weasels usually try to stay AWAY from the dishrag.

    <img src='http://www.fanandmore.de/eurosport/media/s04-hose-away-00.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

    See what I mean?
  • RhoadsToNowhereRhoadsToNowhere i r 8 Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 33Members
    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    (load "a6code")
    (load "a6data")

    (define (corresponding-min values Lst)
     (let* ((inexact-values (map exact->inexact values))
            (best-position (- (length values)
                              (length (member (apply min
                                                     inexact-values)
                                              inexact-values)))))
       (first (list-tail Lst best-position))))

    (define (information first-count second-count)
     (let ((first-prob (/ first-count
                          (+ first-count second-count)))
           (second-prob (/ second-count
                           (+ first-count second-count))))
       (if (or (= first-prob 0)
               (= second-prob 0))
           0
           (+ (- (* first-prob
                    (log2 first-prob)))
              (- (* second-prob
                    (log2 second-prob)))))))
                   
    (define (all-splits training-data attribute-names)
     (map (lambda(x) (split training-data attribute-names x))
          attribute-names))
         
    (define (all-tallies training-data attribute-names)
     (map tally-helper
          (all-splits training-data
                      attribute-names)))
     
    (define (tally-helper data-list)
     (map (lambda (x)
                  (append (list (first x))
                                (tallynumbers (second x))))
           data-list))
         
    (define (tallynumbers data-list)
     (let ((tallies (tally data-list)))
     (if (= (length tallies)
            2)
         (list (second (first tallies))
               (second (second tallies))
               (+ (second (first tallies))
                  (second (second tallies))))
         (list (second (first tallies))
               0
               (second (first tallies))))))
               
    (define (information-from-tally tallylist)
     (* (fourth tallylist)
        (information (second tallylist)
                     (third tallylist))))
     
    (define (information-list data-list attribute-names)
     (let ((tallies (all-tallies data-list attribute-names)))
       (map (lambda (x) (apply +
                               (map information-from-tally
                                    x)))
                        tallies)))
                       
    (define (remove-position Lst pos)
     (append (list-head Lst pos)
             (list-tail Lst (+ pos 1))))
                       
    (define (remove-all-elements Lst pos)
     (map (lambda (x)
                  (list (first x)
                        (remove-position (second x)
                                         pos)))
                                     
          Lst))

    ; Problem 2
    ;
    ;
    (define (learn-dtree training-data attribute-names)
     (let ((tally-list (tally training-data)))
       (if (= (length tally-list) 1)
           (first (first tally-list))
           (if (null? attribute-names)
               (pick-majority tally-list)
               (let* ((best-attrib (corresponding-min (information-list training-data
                                                                       attribute-names)
                                                      attribute-names))
                      (new-attributes (remove-element best-attrib
                                                      attribute-names))
                      (attrib-to-remove (- (length attribute-names)
                                           (length (member best-attrib
                                                           attribute-names))))
                      (split-data (split training-data
                                         attribute-names
                                         best-attrib)))
                        (cons best-attrib
                              (map (lambda (x)
                                           (list (first x)
                                                 (learn-dtree (remove-all-elements (second x)
                                                                                   attrib-to-remove)
                                                              new-attributes)))
                                   split-data)))))))


    ; Problem 3
    ;
    ;
    (define (chi-error pos neg pi ni)
     (let ((pihat (* (/ pos (+ pos neg))
                     (+ pi ni)))
           (nihat (* (/ neg (+ pos neg))
                     (+ pi ni))))
       (+ (/ (* (- pi pihat)
                (- pi pihat))
             pihat)
          (/ (* (- ni nihat)
                (- ni nihat))
             nihat))))

    (define (compute-chi-squared datalist attributes best-attrib-number)
     (let* ((tally-list (all-tallies datalist attributes))
            (split-tally (first (list-tail tally-list
                                           best-attrib-number)))
            (pos (second (first (tally datalist))))
            (neg (second (second (tally datalist)))))
       (chi^2 (- (length split-tally) 1)
              (apply + (map (lambda (x) (chi-error pos
                                                   neg                                                  (second x)
                                                   (third x)))
                            split-tally)))))

    (define (chi^2-learn-dtree training-data attribute-names)
      (let ((tally-list (tally training-data)))
         (if (= (length tally-list) 1)
             (first (first tally-list))
             (if (null? attribute-names)
                 (pick-majority tally-list)
                 (let* ((best-attrib (corresponding-min (information-list training-data
                                                                         attribute-names)
                                                        attribute-names))
                        (new-attributes (remove-element best-attrib
                                                        attribute-names))
                        (attrib-to-remove (- (length attribute-names)
                                             (length (member best-attrib
                                                             attribute-names))))
                        (split-data (split training-data
                                           attribute-names
                                           best-attrib))
                        (chi-value (compute-chi-squared training-data
                                                        attribute-names
                                                        attrib-to-remove)))
                          (if (<= chi-value .001)
                              (cons best-attrib
                                    (map (lambda (x)
                                                 (list (first x)
                                                       (chi^2-learn-dtree (remove-all-elements (second x)
                                                                                                attrib-to-remove)
                                                                           new-attributes)))
                                    split-data))
                              (pick-majority tally-list)))))))

    (define (learning-curve setsize)
     (let* ((subset (pick-random-subset mushroom-data1
                                        setsize))
            (tree (learn-dtree subset mushroom-names)))
       (list (test tree subset mushroom-names)
             (test tree mushroom-data2 mushroom-names))))
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
  • DubersDubers Pet Shop Boy Edinburgh, UK Join Date: 2002-07-25 Member: 998Members
    edited February 2003
    naHjej SIrgh luq jegh batlh! tlhIngan wo' luq not Hegh!

    This is not random letters btw!
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    <b>[<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>FISSION MAILED</span></b>
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
  • RedfordRedford Monorailcatfjord Join Date: 2002-04-28 Member: 528Members, NS1 Playtester
    THIS IS WHY I NEVER GO TO BOZMAN'S HOUSE ANYMORE.
  • BOZOBOZO Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 3973Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Shadow
    You look like you need a monkey.
  • TiioTiio Join Date: 2003-01-07 Member: 12012Members, Constellation
    edited February 2003
    Close the valid donkeys now, I have a candidate oh <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> grapefruit.

    <a href='http://www.gamedesigner.net/news.phtml?id=41' target='_blank'>http://www.gamedesigner.net/news.phtml?id=41</a>

    PE <!--emo&::gorge::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif'><!--endemo--> I
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Members
    edited February 2003
    <img src='http://www.upenn.edu/gsc/nso/gnome.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'><span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>+</span><img src='http://www.foodsubs.com/Photos/butter.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'><span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>=</span><img src='http://www.pacsci.org/education/sow/pow/pow.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>

    TAKLE THAT, LAWS OF CONSERVATION OF ENERGY/MOTION/MATTER/MOMENTUM!!!!
This discussion has been closed.