Femme Issues

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

<div class="IPBDescription">and why live sucks sometimes</div> First off, I'd to apologize to everyone i've been short with (Thansal, Infinitum, Legionnaired, Z.X.Bogglestiensky in particular).

Lately my relationship with my girlfriend hasn't been going well. One of the reasons why it hasn't been working is that we go to colleges about 120 miles apart. Ok, that's the main reason. The other reason is that when i'm with her life becomes much brighter but then when I have to leave everything starts to get duller then the last time I left. This constant on-off relationship is leaving me very unhappy, in a constantly depressive mood and since i'm in college I've found that girls who don't know me actually dig me now, as in DIG me dig me.

What should I do? Why are girls so crazy when it comes to relationship?

I thought I loved her...but lately everything I say to her feels empty.

Zig · September 2003

if it fits within your morals, get some local release. if it doesn't, see more of your girl. if you can't do either, things aren't working.

that's my take. i could just be an idiot.

Speed_2_Dave · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Zig @ Sep 8 2003, 10:34 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> if it fits within your morals, get some local release. if it doesn't, see more of your girl. if you can't do either, things aren't working.

that's my take. i could just be an idiot.  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
or him. But then again, being too reliant on anyone but yourself always can spell disaster when you least expect it.

Life goes on, mate, life goes on.

moultano · September 2003

How often can you go to see her? I'm of the opinion that you really can't accurately judge how you feel about someone unless you are around them.

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

I'm lucky if I get to see her once a month, about three days a visit. It's hard to be sure how I feel when it's so long in between visits.

Jane · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SmokeNova @ Sep 8 2003, 11:33 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Lately my relationship with my girlfriend hasn't been going well. One of the reasons why it hasn't been working is that we go to colleges about 120 miles apart. Ok, that's the main reason. The other reason is that when i'm with her life becomes much brighter but then when I have to leave everything starts to get duller then the last time I left. This constant on-off relationship is leaving me very unhappy, in a constantly depressive mood and since i'm in college I've found that girls who don't know me actually dig me now, as in DIG me dig me. </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Long distance relationships are very hard <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> I feel for you, I am in such bad need of a snuggling <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'>

Zig · September 2003

me too.. jane knows that already.

distance = complete and utter sh*t.

we need bullet trains, everywhere.

Quaunaut · September 2003

Zig, thats why you should learn Japanese.

And you know what...I would kill to have a girlfriend. In fact, I'm gonna make a new post about it because I need some of my own clarification and don't wanna bring this off topic.

Sorry I don't have a solution for ya man...call as much as possible, I guess...

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

Especially when it's a 3 hour drive in a car that I don't have, and even then I wouldn't be able to spend the night.

Not to sound mean or evil or cruel but I just found out a girl on campus that I like likes me back.

Zig · September 2003

like i said. local release.

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

Not just local release. She lives relatively close *out of school* compared to my current GF, only 2.5 hours away instead of...6 by car

I will break up with my current GF. I want her to be happy @ her college, I want her to find someone who deserves her. I don't, namely because love is so easily mistaken for lust at the wrong times.

Zig · September 2003

i hate that. i hate it so much. T-T

i failed that way SO miserably this summer >_>

Hokie_Bird · September 2003

Here's my advice. Talk to her. Let her know how you feel. My boyfriend and I have the same problem. He goes to college four and a half hours away, and neither one of us has a car. We try to talk to each other every few days, even if there's nothing really important to talk about (in fact, I'm trying to call him right now, but his cell phone is turned off *shakes fist in direction of Richmond*). If he ever felt dissatisfied with our relationship, I would want him to talk to me to try to work it out. I would especially want to know if he was more interested in someone else. I would rather be hurt now than hurt much worse later.

I also understand how depressed you are, and the only way I've been able to cope is by keeping busy. Try not to sit around dwelling on the separation. I've almost finished my friend's Super Smash Bros. Melee this way. Oh yeah, and NS. And perhaps studying; if there's absolutely NOTHING else to do. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'>

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

That's the thing - She doesn't even like the sub-cultures that I belong to (Games, anime, History, Guns)

She wants to talk. Everyday. It grinds on me, because I do very little day to day, and over a week it's almost the same habit over and over.

/edit

It's not only that but it's just the entire thing, we both have different plans for our lives. She is an artsy person who wants to move back to NYC after College, I want to move back to Burlington and open a LAN place (16 slots, 12 computers, 2 slots for custom rigs, 2 for Net browsing). She goes to Art-houses, I try to get into a CAL clan. She goes to parties, I try to go to release-parties. So many different things.

moultano · September 2003

You could send me her number <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'> .

(j/k j/k j/k)

Seriously though, just tell her everything you are telling us. And don't let physical interaction draw you back in if the rest of you is emotionally ready to go.

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

That's why I've already found another girl here who hasn't known me for a long time and yet she still finds me attractive (She even guessed my weight @ 180, i'm 255-260). Physical Interaction was the main reason for me and Ri (my GF) getting together in the first place. After only 8 months or so, it grinds on you when you are afraid to express yourself for fear of retribution the next time you see that person.

If I don't post tomorrow night, i'm spendin the night in the "new girls" dorm. Hey, she invited me.

Jane · September 2003

Lol, nice one, try to break up with the current one first though. >.< Good luck with everything.

Catpoker · September 2003

you should do her, then leave her

Jane · September 2003

so synical....

GreyPaws · September 2003

If you two actually have something thats meant to last then it shouldnt be a problem to separate, enjoy the colege life, and get back together when financial/car situation is better for both of you, this will give you both time to grow as people, and if when the time comes for you two to re-unite you find that there isnt any "magic" or even a "spark" then you two will stay friends and move on with life. Its hard enough to make close distance relationships work well, let along long distance ones. Dont drag her through that.

Jane · September 2003

Hmmm, that's some pretty good advice, but I think after being apart and dating other people that there would probably be issues... that's just what I think would happen. Not sure though, good concept.

DiscoZombie · September 2003

if she still wants to talk to you all the time, does that mean she's still crazy about you? is the spark only gone for you, or is it gone for her, too, and she's just going through the motions? I'm damn jealous you're getting invited to girls' dorms =P only the ugliest and most boring girls invite me to spend the night :~(

My ex-GF lived about 100 miles away, but we both had cars and usually took turns driving the 2 hours to see each other every weekend. We tended to have little social lives outside of each other. Every once in a while (usually at the beginning of a new semester), she'd get all uppity and disappear for hours and hours and she'd be all cold to me. Suffice to say I had no qualms about seeing other people behind her back during those times... but, yeah, being physical at least one weekend out of every 2 is what I'd call a necessity =P so break it off with her if the distance just isn't working...

artsy people can be nice, though, as long as they're not poseurs :> I spend like 75% of my free time on the computer, but still consider myself more of an art guy than a science guy...

CommunistWithAGun · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jane @ Sep 8 2003, 10:55 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SmokeNova @ Sep 8 2003, 11:33 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Lately my relationship with my girlfriend hasn't been going well. One of the reasons why it hasn't been working is that we go to colleges about 120 miles apart. Ok, that's the main reason. The other reason is that when i'm with her life becomes much brighter but then when I have to leave everything starts to get duller then the last time I left. This constant on-off relationship is leaving me very unhappy, in a constantly depressive mood and since i'm in college I've found that girls who don't know me actually dig me now, as in DIG me dig me. </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Long distance relationships are very hard <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> I feel for you, I am in such bad need of a snuggling <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'>  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
Wonderful more puberty bait for the 13 year olds, nice one jane <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'>

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

the thing about the distance...I don't have a car, nor the money to get one and she has a new Geo Prizm, like 8k miles...but she doesn't have a license and from what i've seen, no real desire to get one.

She see's our relationship in terms of time, like what we'll be doing in a few years. I can't deal with that, I need to live in the NOW. I don't want to hear about what we'll do next time we'll see each other, I want to feel life!

I think the lack of love is pretty one-sided and it's starting to show. She loves me but i don't love her back.

DiscoZombie · September 2003

well, I don't think anyone is ever truly surprised when their partner doesn't want to stay in a long distance relationship... waiting a few years is not realistic -- especially not when you don't even want to do the same things in a few years (she wants to go to NY, you don't, etc)... I dunno, maybe start voicing your complaints slowly, and be more blunt if she doesn't get the hint... heh... if the one-sided dying love is starting to show, then you're probably saying and doing the right things already <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

Jane should be happy about this -- it's evidence that we boys dump girls too =P I broke up with a girl last year, and it was not easy. I started out really liking her, and she just had lukewarm feelings for me... then as her feelings for me grew, mine for her died, because I was pretty put off by the fact that she was really cold at first. in the end, she wanted to move in with me, and I dumped her for my ex, who sucked anyway <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> yes, guys and girls can both be mean... I've been on both ends of the dumping stick...

Jane · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (CommunistWithAGun @ Sep 9 2003, 10:57 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jane @ Sep 8 2003, 10:55 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SmokeNova @ Sep 8 2003, 11:33 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Lately my relationship with my girlfriend hasn't been going well. One of the reasons why it hasn't been working is that we go to colleges about 120 miles apart. Ok, that's the main reason. The other reason is that when i'm with her life becomes much brighter but then when I have to leave everything starts to get duller then the last time I left. This constant on-off relationship is leaving me very unhappy, in a constantly depressive mood and since i'm in college I've found that girls who don't know me actually dig me now, as in DIG me dig me. </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Long distance relationships are very hard <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> I feel for you, I am in such bad need of a snuggling <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Wonderful more puberty bait for the 13 year olds, nice one jane <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'>  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
Sorry but it's true, gees. Come on, if you hadn't seen your bf/ gf in a month, you'd miss hugs etc. too.

Majin · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jane @ Sep 8 2003, 10:55 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Long distance relationships are very hard <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> I feel for you, I am in such bad need of a snuggling <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'>  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
And the line has now wraped around the second block of the city! <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

Jane · September 2003

*noted* it's ok for guys to miss their gfs and talk about it but not visa versa, ok

p4Samwise · September 2003

Try to induce less PSL, Jane. Geez. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'>

Nova: It sounds to me like you want to end the relationship. The long distance thing is hard on you, and you already had some preexisting doubts about the relationship, it sounds like, given the vast differences between you and the GF. Sometimes it just wasn't meant to be.

My GF of about 4 years and I broke up about a week and a half ago due to similar reasons - she started at a school halfway across the country, and I'd honestly been having nagging doubts about the relationship well before that (not strong enough for me to want to break up, but the long distance thing was enough to push it over the edge for both of us, I guess). It hurts in the short term, but it's better than being trapped in an unsatisfying relationship for years on end. This is what I'm telling myself, anyway.

Jane · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> ([p4]Samwise @ Sep 9 2003, 04:43 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Try to induce less PSL, Jane. Geez. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'>  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
If I knew what PSL was I might try to oblidge but until then I'll continue on doing what I'm doing

/me runs off to stir up some trouble <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'>

CommunistWithAGun · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jane @ Sep 9 2003, 10:23 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (CommunistWithAGun @ Sep 9 2003, 10:57 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jane @ Sep 8 2003, 10:55 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SmokeNova @ Sep 8 2003, 11:33 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Lately my relationship with my girlfriend hasn't been going well. One of the reasons why it hasn't been working is that we go to colleges about 120 miles apart. Ok, that's the main reason. The other reason is that when i'm with her life becomes much brighter but then when I have to leave everything starts to get duller then the last time I left. This constant on-off relationship is leaving me very unhappy, in a constantly depressive mood and since i'm in college I've found that girls who don't know me actually dig me now, as in DIG me dig me. </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Long distance relationships are very hard <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> I feel for you, I am in such bad need of a snuggling <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Wonderful more puberty bait for the 13 year olds, nice one jane <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Sorry but it's true, gees. Come on, if you hadn't seen your bf/ gf in a month, you'd miss hugs etc. too.  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
I haven't had a girlfriend in four YEARS....wait...I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be proud of my ideals or ashamed at the moment <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'>

Femme Issues

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