Ever Had One Of Those Days (weeks)
RPG_Jssmfulhud
Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4006Members
Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4006Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">When it seems you're lost...</div> Well... I have been having some pretty **** weeks right now. The worst of the days was yesterday.
I feel depressed and lost. I really can't see no point in living. And I never had any depressions. Just lately, I started thinknig about my life and school and family. It just brought me down...
Anyone care to give me a pat on the back? *sniff*
I feel depressed and lost. I really can't see no point in living. And I never had any depressions. Just lately, I started thinknig about my life and school and family. It just brought me down...
Anyone care to give me a pat on the back? *sniff*
Comments
What gets me through is the knowledge that I only have less than 2 months to go through with school, before break. And I'm sure that I invested enough in grade 11 that my load will not be as heavy heading into next year.
Can't see a point in living? Zoom out a bit, cause that's the problem with everythig. We can't see everything at once. Even zooming out might not give all the information, but you can see from a different perspective from it. You'll then realize it's a damn minor bump in the road of life.
Just keep going.
I never felt so much sorrow in my entire life. And you will call me a weakling, fine...
I just have to vent this, although I doubt it will help...
I was thinking that, what I brought to my family, is nothing but pain and worries. I am now sitting here at my computer, writing this and trying to hold my head up to see what I'm writing. I never felt so down... Not even when things we're really going bad...
I don't think anybody likes me anymore, I don't think I'll be able to do any study, I don't think I'll pass my exams...
It just feels awfull... I lost 5 kilos in the past 3 weeks, not eating anything much... I stoped playing games, watching movies, cycling... I lost interest in everything I had before...
But.... I'm sorry to even have posted here... I don't want to upset anyone of you guys, let alone being flamed. But my mind isn't really thinknig clearly...
Sorry again...
but trust me I know how you feel, I'm not going to spill my guts on these public forums, but I KNOW what you are saying, trust me...
Personally, the fun and good things in life have yet to be revealed to me, what makes it all worthwhile then?
Just a few good friends who understand you as a person,
I have a good school, I go there, do my homework, and then play Ns the rest of the day...
If you're really down, seek councelling, i.e. a psychologist. It doesn't mean you're mentally ill, it means you're down and confused, and you will have someone to talk and listen to, who has experience in this sort of stuff with other ppl, and you'll feel better.
A great deal of ppl who I thought were my m8's let me down some time ago, and I wasn't doing that great, getting teased bout appearance, great losses, broken heart, I know what it's like
I think you know that there are good times, the only problem is how to make them last longer than the bad times <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo-->
My conclusion after thinking long and hard about this, and I think about this stuff 24/7, is that in the end, all we want is to be happy, just happy, plain and simple, satisfied and happy. But if you would consider ending your life prematurely, or getting lost in thoughts thinking about it, you are denying yourself that chance to be happy.
I wish you luck, and if you ever want to have a talk, you know how the pm works.
good luck m8
cheers <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
I've been having a pretty **** time lately as well. Let's see. . .
1)Missed more than a week and a half of school, causing MASSIVE make up work (31.5 days total this year, yes, I am weak)
2)Haven't seen the matrix yet, everyone else has, this is really bugging me
3)I no longer have the capacity to play online games. I share a partitioned computer with the rest of my family, with a win98 install for each person. I recently decided that win98 must DEI and thus rearranged all the partitions with some outside help. However, he can't help me any more for a while, and I am having great difficulty in finding a simple way to get winXP on the comp without trashing the other partitions
4)I am currently up at 3:30 AM, did not sleep on tuesday night, barely slept last night, and it would appear that I won't sleep at all tonight. I'm almost done making up my work, but I'm wondering if it's worth the price at this point. I've already had a cup of really strong straight-up green tea and three pepsis just to keep me awake and focused. I think I might pass out in class tommorrow while making up one of the several tests or quizes. And no, I can't try to stop now, tommorrow is the last non-finals day of school for me.
5)Various long term medical reasons I won't get into.
However, there is hope yet! The trick is trying to get together with other motivated people and feed off of their energy. If at all possible, try to do things with friends - it helps stuff get done that individuals wouldn't be motivated enough for otherwise. Lastly, grap yourself some caffiene and pull and all-nighter or two. The bragging rights alone of getting a spanish translation, powerpoint presentation, 5 page scripture paper covering an entire new testament book, and three worksheets done in one night with almost no prior prepartion (due to illness in my case) can make you feel much more confident in yourself. Just try not to kill yourself in the process - I'm learning that it isn't so much fun.
With any "training" process, you're exposed to seeing yourself as weak and pathetic. But the point of training is not to show how lame you are, but to strengthen you. I'm sure you never intended to take part in this "training", but that's ****ing life. I'm dealing with it right now, and I can say for a fact, I'm dealing with it very poorly.
But the important thing is to live through it; it's a **** of an endurance test, no doubt, but you'll come out of it as a stronger person.
I'm not sure how your relationship with your family is. My mom passed away and my sister moved out, so it's just me and my dad now, and to be honest, I don't bother telling my dad much, cause with past experiences, he can't give much help. Might be the same with you, and you probably don't want to talk to them about this because you've already given them "pain and worries". I'm sorry if this offends you, but I take it that somewhere in your mind, the idea of suicide is lingering. Well if you're concerned with the "pain and worries" you're burdening your family with, think about how much more painful and tormented they will be with the <b>absence</b> of your life. My dad is **** off with me a majority of the time, but he doesn't want to see me gone. Same here: Your family wants you alive.
And yes, you're probably right about my absence... *sigh*
+1
+1 <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thanks. That helped a lot.
And please stop with the boasting of each post, it's very annoying.
Now, Jssmfulhud, don't say that. At this point I would care and would feel really bad if something happened. I'm sure that there are people somewhere in the community that would be bummed if they heard something happened. I'm not really a big part of the community, and I know at least someone would recognize my name.
If you need further reason to keep on going, think of this - if you do commit suicide, there is a chance that it could be blamed on gaming. That's the last thing we need, and could get some people rather upset with you. I know it isn't the most positive reason, but it's something.
I don't have much friends anyway...
People, above all things, need three things. To have purpose, to have community, and to be loved.
I had none, and it sounds like you fell like you have none of those now. It's a rough spot to be in, believe me, I know. This week's been pretty hard for me too, girlfriend brok up with me, and achool has been moring as ever, leaving me nothing to think about but that.
I know there's very little I can tell you to help you through this rough spot, mainly because text just doesn't cut it, but believe me, suicide isn't the answer. I've had close friends who've had friends kill themselves in the last year, and if you think your life hurts, watch something like that. Watch and entire room full of football players and happy, popular people burst out crying because a little part of them was inside the trunk of that car, locked in the garage with the engine on as well. It hurts, it hurts more than anything because you know that that person would rather die then go on interacting with people like you. It's a horrible feeling to have.
What I can tell you is that the being loved part I mentioned above is the only one that really comes out and touches you first. It happens rarely, either through parents, who love oyu because you are their reason for living, or at least VERY close to the top of the list, or from extremely lucky, blessed people who love because they first have been loved, either through a parent, or through religion.
What it finally took to snap me out of my depression was finding Christianity. I don't mean to make a plug for my religion here, I'm just telling you the truth. It took a friend of mine taking a serious interest in my life and my well being (not to mention my continued pulse), it took finding a way that I could truely make a difference in the lives of others, and it took being invited into a group of people with the same sorts of ideas, the same sorts of emotions and the same sense of need for fulfillment that I had.
What I'm trying to say is, if you want to live a life that's worth living, you have to find that life before you can live it. Volunteer as a soup kitchen, or something, but find something that fulfills you, and do it. I know it's hard, but for me, it was the only thing that worked.
If you want to talk about what's going on, and don't want to do it in a public, possibly embarrasing manner, then e-mail me, by all means. b-low1200@ yahoo.com . Minus the space, I just don't want to get spammed <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> . My AIM name is Legionnaired, and the PM option is always available. Believe me, I'd really to help ot you, I don't have anything planned socially for about 10 hours, and I have a computer in almost every class, so I can pretty much check e-mail regularly. I'll be getting home at around 2:15 EST, so I'll be on AIM, if you want to talk to me as well.
I know you think we don't care about you, or that no-one cares about you. I don't think it's possible to truely know someone from a forum, but RPG, human life is probably the most precious thing on this planet. I can't speak for everyone, but I sure as hell don't want to see that squandered.
b_low1200@ yahoo.com (remember, no space in the middle)
AIM: Legionnaired
Use the board's page functions for ICQ
feel free to PM me.
~Legi
Women. Get yourlself a girl(or boy, whatever turns you on <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->) and it's all better. School doesn't matter so much, it goes the way it does, don't worry about that but I think you should start controlling your social life more. At least it helps me a lot to share my pain with friends over a pint.
PS. On the woman issue, I think I put it wrongly. You either feel like being in paradise and it's all great or then you get two times more pi**ed <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
You made some good points... But those really don't mean anything much to me right now... As you will understand. I'm just too down...
And as for girlfriends Dread, I had one... Never again. I didn't have any feelings and I don't think I will... Thanks for the boost guys... I still feel horribly down but... At least something nice has been said...
I feel your pain dude, everyone gets burned at least once. If you want my advice, just let it all out to another person. If you have someone IRL you trust, that'd be for best, but if no-body there would suffice I'll be on AIM all afternoon. If you don't ge this all out in the open, beleive me, it's just going to eat you alive inside even more than it already does. Talking about it just helps you put things in order, put things in line, and help you deal with it.
~Legionnaired
I have heard manny stories on the net of people who have seen nothing to look forward to and then joined a martial art or sport and then picked up. Seriusly that might help u out. I strongly advise this from what i have seen.
i dunno just please take some of our advise. I hate the idea of someone feelling the way u do. Trust me i know what it feels like. I lost my Dad recently, my aunti now has cancer and i now have to move house manny manny miles away from all my friends i have known for 10 years since primary school. I havent even told them yet. Its still getting me down. But i then go to my muay thai lesson on a sunday night and take it all out on some pads and in sparing + we do alot of exercise and it feels great to go home acheing and in pain becuase you know your getting stronger and more confident.
Last year i used to get teased and ridiculed at school. I have ginger hair which doesent help with those imature twats out there btw. But since about 3 months ago when they realised i could beat all of them in an arm restle and block most of their attacks........ . I got one hell of alot of respect, and with respect comes confidence and vice versa.
Hell i even had the confidence to dance at the school prom with a VERY nice girl <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
Whatever ur prob is m8 just remember everything keeps going and so should you, dont shut urself away from that fact. Hell just think of the good things your gona do in the future and remember that everyone hopes you do well no matter what <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
A neighbour of mine recently took pity on me and actually taught me an actual move (he's been practicing martial arts for a LONG time). It's great exercise for sure... :D
I'm not sure what else I can say to help you...I've had on-and-off periods of depression throughout the last 5 years of my life, and I can say that it's just something you can't dwell on. The most important thing is that you rule out suicide or harming yourself - I thought about it for a while, but concluded that it's only irresponsible, selfish, and hurtful to the people who love me, but that I also owe it to myself to see the rest that this life has to offer. You may think that life isn't worth living, but I believe that I won't know until I've lived it.
Personally, my depression came from many things, but I think that believing that there is a truth that can be found instead of floating in a morass of moral and philosophical relativity was probably the biggest answer to all my doubts and fears. I'm not really made to ponder things without absolutes as references, and tend to get lost and scared when I try. Most religions provide this kind of moral and philosophical absolute - the idea of God, the reference from which we are to judge everything. Personally, as a Christian, my beliefs in God helped me overcome my depression (which is not to say it's not there - I've just been able to suppress it). You may find it good to ask a priest, minister, pastor, mullah, rabbi, or whatever religion you prefer to help you understand the things you are struggling with. It's easy to be cynical about religion, but quite frankly I'm of the opinion that without it there is really not a way you can deal with moral relativity.
Hope this helps,
Wheeee
*pats on back*
Go see a doctor. Explain your symptoms. These are common symptoms of clinical depression, which is caused by a chemical imbalance. They have a pill to balance this out. Ask your doctor for a prescription.
I'm not going to try and get on a pulpit but I think that it's important that I share. This is not much of a testimonial but more of just suggestion, a path, that I could never turn away from.
I understand alot of people are very cynical about religion, and I might even get a flak about anything I say but for the sake of your well being and others, I'm going to say it anyways.
I cannot understand how empty how I would feel without God, a lack of direction, a lack of purpose. I can only imagine the pain of waking up each morning not knowing what's the rhyme, the reason. Only thinking, spiraling to the conclusion that I'll just fade away, a speck of sand in the hourglass that is history. But truely, ever since I've come to the realization of Christ and what Christianity is I don't think I could ever go back.
To be able to look into the sky and to have faith, to feel that even if I fail, even if there was nowhere in this miserable reality for me to go that I would forever be accepted. It truely is the missing part of our hearts and our soul. Everything seems so feeble compared to the reality of what it means to serve others and be servants among men, there is <i>nothing</i> more fulfilling helping another person, because that's what God did for me, pulled me from something that has no relief, no shelter for me.
It is truely surreal, Its remarkble how you can be so dissapointed to the point of tears about how awful life can be, but, even though sometimes I feel so dissapointed I am constantly fulfilled and to the point where it all seems so foolish that I could ever be so be in such a state of affair of feeling such woe.
If I could make one suggestion to anyone, especially to one who feels that they are in terrible condition, it would simply be to just find a friend, and go to church one time. Its not because I want you to feel like dirty rotten sinner, but because I want you to realize that the life your living is such a facade over reality. Every day were fed what is right by media, we're taught money is power, power is prestige, prestige is happiness. But its all so weak, I'd take the fulfillment of helping someone, helping them back on their feet over a crown anyday. I can sympathize so much with any person who lacks Christ, It is an <i>awful struggle</i> for a reason everyday.
Give it a try, I will ask for nothing more, church isn't about the ashes and brimstone of hell, it's about helping people. Part of why we feel so bad when we go to church is that it's true, we know everything the preacher says is true. We're awful people without God, we can lie, we can corrupt people's minds without wincing. We care so much about ourselves, we worry about how much we have in our pocket rather then thinking if that person five feet away has enough food to eat when he goes home.
You can even feel that there something bigger than we see everyday. You think it's a mistake that you feel bad when you make someone cry ? You think that's some kind of evolutionary trait ? If anything, evolution is the pursuit of ideality, a selfish person would gain nothing by feeling sympathy, or regret.
/me gets off my soapbox
Well, There is no greater way then for me to tell you how I feel. I truely believe that if you truely experience what it feels to have Christ in your life you will never go back.
I almost feel bad about saying these things, because while I'm saying this I fear that whoever is going to read this is going to think that God is just some kinda corny thing you talk about in chat rooms and game forums and that God is just some kinda joke, and Christians are just a bunch of hypocrites, but don't think that we're any different, I feel the same pains you do, I just have someone who takes it away.
And while it I know there's some things that take the edge off of the pain, or even take it away for a while, it always comes back. All I know is that there's only one thing that's ever taken away the pain permanently...
One more thing. Cry about it. Let yourself. It helps.
Now that you've got us all worried about you, you better make damn sure to keep posting here. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
I'm not going to try and get on a pulpit but I think that it's important that I share. This is not much of a testimonial but more of just suggestion, a path, that I could never turn away from.
I understand alot of people are very cynical about religion, and I might even get a flak about anything I say but for the sake of your well being and others, I'm going to say it anyways.
I cannot understand how empty how I would feel without God, a lack of direction, a lack of purpose. I can only imagine the pain of waking up each morning not knowing what's the rhyme, the reason. Only thinking, spiraling to the conclusion that I'll just fade away, a speck of sand in the hourglass that is history. But truely, ever since I've come to the realization of Christ and what Christianity is I don't think I could ever go back.
To be able to look into the sky and to have faith, to feel that even if I fail, even if there was nowhere in this miserable reality for me to go that I would forever be accepted. It truely is the missing part of our hearts and our soul. Everything seems so feeble compared to the reality of what it means to serve others and be servants among men, there is <i>nothing</i> more fulfilling helping another person, because that's what God did for me, pulled me from something that has no relief, no shelter for me.
It is truely surreal, Its remarkble how you can be so dissapointed to the point of tears about how awful life can be, but, even though sometimes I feel so dissapointed I am constantly fulfilled and to the point where it all seems so foolish that I could ever be so be in such a state of affair of feeling such woe.
If I could make one suggestion to anyone, especially to one who feels that they are in terrible condition, it would simply be to just find a friend, and go to church one time. Its not because I want you to feel like dirty rotten sinner, but because I want you to realize that the life your living is such a facade over reality. Every day were fed what is right by media, we're taught money is power, power is prestige, prestige is happiness. But its all so weak, I'd take the fulfillment of helping someone, helping them back on their feet over a crown anyday. I can sympathize so much with any person who lacks Christ, It is an <i>awful struggle</i> for a reason everyday.
Give it a try, I will ask for nothing more, church isn't about the ashes and brimstone of hell, it's about helping people. Part of why we feel so bad when we go to church is that it's true, we know everything the preacher says is true. We're awful people without God, we can lie, we can corrupt people's minds without wincing. We care so much about ourselves, we worry about how much we have in our pocket rather then thinking if that person five feet away has enough food to eat when he goes home.
You can even feel that there something bigger than we see everyday. You think it's a mistake that you feel bad when you make someone cry ? You think that's some kind of evolutionary trait ? If anything, evolution is the pursuit of ideality, a selfish person would gain nothing by feeling sympathy, or regret.
/me gets off my soapbox
Well, There is no greater way then for me to tell you how I feel. I truely believe that if you truely experience what it feels to have Christ in your life you will never go back.
I almost feel bad about saying these things, because while I'm saying this I fear that whoever is going to read this is going to think that God is just some kinda corny thing you talk about in chat rooms and game forums and that God is just some kinda joke, and Christians are just a bunch of hypocrites, but don't think that we're any different, I feel the same pains you do, I just have someone who takes it away.
And while it I know there's some things that take the edge off of the pain, or even take it away for a while, it always comes back. All I know is that there's only one thing that's ever taken away the pain permanently... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
While I respect your point of view, I don't believe religion is for me. I don't believe in a God or Gods. However, I still care about people. I still help when I can. I wince when someone in cheated, beaten on, killed... I prefer reality to "what if." If reality is harsh, cruel and unforgiving, so be it. I'll get by. I was born a Catholic and was faithful up until about a year or so ago, when my views started changing. I started favoring logic, and soon formed my own opinion. It's my opinion, and I'm not going to change. I don't favor anarchy, or satanism as some think. I favor that everyone makes their own decisions, and that only they may judge themselves. There is nobody else to do that. I'm not afraid of the world, I'm going to enjoy my life while I have it, beliving in what I believe in, doing what I want (within common sense), and not worshipping a higher power.
Same here, but I don't like the fact God's an excuse for anything. "She died because it's God's will." How about you apply some Logic. I suggest looking for love.
As for religion, it's not for me. It never was and never will... I tried it, I really did. But what was the result? A waster of time and more pain. I'm sorry but, it just isn't for me.
As for love... I do have it in some kind of way... Which I won't tell you but... It's there... Although, yes... Not really enough it seems...
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. It did take away my thoughts for at least a few minutes. It will come back but, I try my best not to think of sorrow.