World Domination
PerfectionsFlaw
Join Date: 2003-02-14 Member: 13555Members
Join Date: 2003-02-14 Member: 13555Members
<div class="IPBDescription">How would you go about it?</div> Okay let's just say you had the chance to dominate the globe, to push your views and influence to the furthest reaches. How would you do it? Now for reality's sake let's say your budget was somewhere around a hundred million to three hundred million. Of course, any ideas or strategic plans posted here will be given full credit to the poster if they are used by anyone to take over the world.
Personally, I would take my money and make a bunch of friends first. Buying out several men of high-importance, or at least bribing them for the time-being. Not letting one of them know about the other. So that later when I invaded their country the other's wouldn't catch on that I was about to attack them as well. Slowly but surely spreading my influence over the region. I would use no force at all to take over an area which is rich in oil, so therefore can pay off the United States with oil to keep them out of my business.
Eventually I would become a world power and to keep from being investigated by the UN I would never research in any form of chemical and or nuclear activities. Bombs and napalm are good enough. Eventually someone will send an assassin or a cruise missle to where I live, but I won't be there. I will use all my means to track whom it was, which means I would watch CNN. Then I would buy off one of their personal guards and have him covertly assassinate him. Shortly thereafter disposing of the guard as well. While they were unsteady with the attack I would invade them as well. Easy as pie if my men can aim worth a damn.
I know this is childish but- You're turn! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
<b>Edit:: Any idea used in the actual domination of the world will be given credit to it's creator.</b>
Personally, I would take my money and make a bunch of friends first. Buying out several men of high-importance, or at least bribing them for the time-being. Not letting one of them know about the other. So that later when I invaded their country the other's wouldn't catch on that I was about to attack them as well. Slowly but surely spreading my influence over the region. I would use no force at all to take over an area which is rich in oil, so therefore can pay off the United States with oil to keep them out of my business.
Eventually I would become a world power and to keep from being investigated by the UN I would never research in any form of chemical and or nuclear activities. Bombs and napalm are good enough. Eventually someone will send an assassin or a cruise missle to where I live, but I won't be there. I will use all my means to track whom it was, which means I would watch CNN. Then I would buy off one of their personal guards and have him covertly assassinate him. Shortly thereafter disposing of the guard as well. While they were unsteady with the attack I would invade them as well. Easy as pie if my men can aim worth a damn.
I know this is childish but- You're turn! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
<b>Edit:: Any idea used in the actual domination of the world will be given credit to it's creator.</b>
Comments
Once there, they would develop their own system of government, industry, law enforcement, etc. with little or no influence from me. A society this educated may even thrive on systems like Communism that work beautiful on paper but have never previously prospered in reality. In short, I would take the geniuses of the world and put them in a concentrated place to live, work, and play among their peers. As if this wasn't enough, in return for coming and contributing to this place, it would be a low-pollution, low-crime environment in which if they decided they wanted to research/invent/mass produce anything, they'd get more funding than they could possibly hope to ask for from anyone/anything else in the world. These innovations could be sold to any or all other nations at very competitive prices -- hopefully so competitive, other nations wouldn't have to bother wasting their budgets on researching stuff internally.
Within a couple generations, the original money would probably run out. But in this time, these people will have made a mini-society whose sole purpose is to be productive, and I will have taken a disproportionate share of the geniuses elsewhere on the globe. With the gross domestic product finally greater than anywhere else in the world, the nation would create a defense mechanism for itself so advanced, nobody else would have the technology or manpower/mindpower to try and bomb us into giving them the sources of everything we've invented.
Sooner or later other nations wouldn't be able to support themselves without depending on our technology and products. At this pont, we control the world. A nation attacked another nation witout a decent warning and reason? Fine, we raise export taxes to the point that if they want our stuff, they'll have to either stop being aggressive or pay through the nose.
Should the sheer stupidity of people not on my island result in world war three, we will have the option of stopping it (by cutting them off from everything as a way of slapping them on the wrist) or letting the fools kill themselves. And since I'll probably be dead by then, I'll have the glory of being forever known as the founder of Utopia without any of the guilt of deciding the fate of the rest of the world.
AllYourHive: What stops them from inventing self-cleaning toilets and/or maintenance robots? Yet another exportable product idea nobody should be without!
[edit] That would also be a beautiful time to start selling EMP-ammunition handguns. Quite an international market right there.
Actually, I would command that snow be made everywhere. Then I can snowboard to my heart's content. Also, I don't have to worry about breaking someone's ankle or something when I shove my board down the hill. Oh, yeah, then I'll torture Flayra, and force him to teach me C++... Actually, nah, that would be too complicated. I'd torture him to make better stuff, then I'd take the credit for it. I'd probably have to kill him, to keep him from talking and stuff, but, it would be awesome to be known as the person who made NS 3.0 or whatever.
Simple. I kill you, and since you were complaining about the toilets, I use your head to clean them. Very malicious indeed!
first: make everyone eat spam.
second: rinse and repeat.
Once I have done that I would buy a small, isolated country and turn it into a utopia in a similar way to Marik_Steele's idea. Should anyone go to war with me I will not drop bombs on their country but bags of pennys. Instead of spending millions of weapons get it converted to pennys and drop them on the country's citizens. After the war is over there will be no radioactive waste and you don't have to spend millions to rebuild the country as they can pick up the pennys from their dead. Credit to <a href='http://maddox.xmission.com/' target='_blank'>Maddox</a> for the idea.
<a href='http://www.clubthings.com/media/00648.gif' target='_blank'>Here</a>.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->And why is my already poo-covered head being used to clean the hat that's going on your head? <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> What do you mean? You're dead and stuffed, you won't feel it.
I prefer the subtle approach to subjugating the human race. What is this approach you may ask? I cannot tell you. The simple beauty of the plan is that no one knows how it works; yet it does.
Take over the world? Not necessary. I already have.
<a href='http://www.clubthings.com/media/00648.gif' target='_blank'>Here</a>.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->And why is my already poo-covered head being used to clean the hat that's going on your head? <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> What do you mean? You're dead and stuffed, you won't feel it. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
O, ok, I get it now, thanks for the explanation.
Exhaust from typical internal-combustion engines (such as those in 99% of cars and trucks today) contains plenty of carbon and water vapor. Invent a device that would compress the carbon enough (don't ask me how, the collective geniuses are doing the dirty work) and you'd be able to transform your car from a polluting device into a maker of purified water and industrial-grade diamonds.
It involved these guys.
<img src='http://www.borg.com/~superman/memor/wonka38.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
Ah, yes, the covert operative approach. That was the problem with many of the villains in 007 films and other such movies: if you have your henchmen all wearing tacky jumpsuits or other such fashion atrocities, they'll attract too much attention.
Any other world domination ideas? What's the ideal fashion/loadout for different levels of henchmen?
It involved these guys.
<img src='http://www.borg.com/~superman/memor/wonka38.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Damn those Chumba Wumbas.
Yeah, those guys could probably help AllUrHive.
Anyway, one more thing, I would make a gigundus fortress. Instead of having guards who slack off, I'll hire lumberjacks. Why, you ask? I'll make baobabs surround the stronghold, then when intruders come, the speedy lumberjacks slicerate the tree, and TIMBER!!!! they are squashed to a pulp. So there's my defense system. As for someone launching nukes, uh, I'll have anti-aircraft guns! It will explode in the air, and then the shrapnel will fly around the world, and every now and then it falls down and kills about 5000 people. oh, yeah.
PS: I'll use the baobabs to crush Marik's island, the fool has interfered with my plans for too long!
PPS: I will force <i>everyone</i> to use the word 'pwndid', instead of pwnt or whatever it is nowadays.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Australia is one of about 210 countries. At 7,692,024 km2, it comprises just five percent of the world's land area (149,450,000 km2), yet it is the planet's sixth largest country after Russia, Canada, China, USA, and Brazil. Australia is also the smallest continental land mass (or largest island).<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<img src='http://www.ga.gov.au/education/facts/images/austvsus.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
Medium sized island my ****. We bloody pwn most of the world. 6th largest country (in area). Not to mention we are a continent unto ourselves
Damn cracker.
...
Answer number 2: With Great Difficulty
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Seriously, if I were to try it I'd probably counterfeit large numbers of small-denomination bills of all currencies (except the french franc) and then taint them with a drug that was highly addictive and are associated with bad withdrawal symptoms (such as cocaine). I would flood the markets with these bills, and once i was statistically sure that people had been exposed to enough to become addicted, I would then stop issuing the bills. The world population would then become completely messed up when they suffered from withdrawal, and I would use a small personal army to invade france. France would, of course, immediately surrender and then I would use the French air force and military...well, NATO air force and military anyway, to take over europe. I would then force the Europeans to go to work under the lure of my doped bills, and they would march to victory over the <b><span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'>world!</span></b>
yeah right.
What the crap? Are you high?
Anyway, what I'd do is I'd buy an extremely small and cheap island in the south pacific, and I'd declare it as my own country. I'd spend the rest of my money secretly cornering the market on maps, I'd buy up all the atlas maker/map makers/geographical satallites and over time begin to increas the size/vital stats of my country in all those atlases/maps. Over the course of 2 or 3 generations (yes this is a rather long-term plan) I would start fooling people into thinking my country was the biggest/strongest in the world, so that when I fianlly do declare war on the world, everyone will be so afraid of me that they'll surrender with little prompting.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Seriously, if I were to try it I'd probably counterfeit large numbers of small-denomination bills of all currencies (except the french franc) and then taint them with a drug that was highly addictive and are associated with bad withdrawal symptoms (such as cocaine). I would flood the markets with these bills, and once i was statistically sure that people had been exposed to enough to become addicted, I would then stop issuing the bills. The world population would then become completely messed up when they suffered from withdrawal, and I would use a small personal army to invade france. France would, of course, immediately surrender and then I would use the French air force and military...well, NATO air force and military anyway, to take over europe. I would then force the Europeans to go to work under the lure of my doped bills, and they would march to victory over the world! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Note to self: make my country's official currency seashells.
<img src='http://www.ga.gov.au/education/facts/images/austvsus.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
Medium sized island my ****. We bloody pwn most of the world. 6th largest country (in area). Not to mention we are a continent unto ourselves
Damn cracker. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Alaska pwns you. good thing you didn't overlay that on top of australia because that would've been a third of it <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
And medium-sized island...probably madagascar-ish? <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
Although you could probably get away with putting your home base in the micronesian islands
First, I will buy Sakhalin Island from the Russians for $3.75. Simple enough, no? Now I have a deserted island the size of New Hampshire and in close proximity to China, Korea, Russia, and Japan. It's all about the location, people.
To fund my little endeavor, I'll distribute a worm which will take precisely 1 cent off of every online transaction across the globe. I'll initiate a sleeper program in the NYSE to wire .1% of all bidding volumes to a private account based in Sealand (yes, the sovereign state off the coast of England that used to be a WWII-era gun platform. Look it up.) Once my Bandito plan is in full swing, I'll begin to market fine Asian goods to other markets in the West for horridly inflated retail costs, and threaten the original producers with torture if they ever distribute to anyone else, which of course will be followed up with a slight warning; i.e. ticking noises under the mattress while they sleep. Can you say, Pocky Monopoly?
Around this time I'll begin funding my own R&D into mass-producing weapons made out of corrugated steel and copper. I'll begin hiring mercenaries to form the core of my personal guard, and begin conscripting the locals to do my bidding. Total subjugation of the island is projected within a two-week timeframe.
Here's where the good part comes in. While I make myself up as a local baron-a.k.a-entrepreneur, I'll assemble a secret team of the world's greatest scientific minds to develop a telescoping semiautomatic rocket launcher firing high-explosive rounds the size of a cashew, with a purposefully defective safety switch. I'm gonna make millions distributing it to the Chinese military. As this happens, I'll contract Bruce Willis to dig a hole 800 meters below ground, where I'll begin work on an underground facility of such size and scale it'll make the Gman cream his three-piece suit. I'll increase the R&D budget to include everything from explosive crossbows to 5.56mm GPS-guided smart-bullets to two-ton nickel-tungsten spikes I can drop from low orbit, and upgrading my tin can pistols to full-scale technologically superior implements of destruction. I'll develop an aircraft that is equally at home in atmosphere or in space, and can be deployed anywhere in the world to rain doom down on anyone I choose with a hyper-accurate railgun and a single 40mm titanium slug that can survive reentry.
My society will be the antithesis of Marik_Steele's. I'll employ a strict military police to patrol the streets in armored Hondas with retrofit hydrogen engines and a 30mm cannon recessed in the hood. The police operate under a "shoot first, ask questions later" policy (less-lethal rounds of course. Tear-gas pellet in the eyes, maybe?). I'll make use of weekly purges, where criminals are kicked off my island and sent to Cuba. I send Castro cheap labor, he sends me cigars. It works out. I will exist in every facet of everyday life. Everything you see, feel, or taste... maybe not taste, I dunno if that will work so well... anyway, everything you see and feel will be engraved with a very tiny portrait of myself somewhere on it's surface in a critical location where if you remove it, you break it.
Within three months I'll have consolidated my infrastructure, economy, and military, leaving the rest of the world with no choice but to acknowledge my upstart sovereignty as a world superpower. By this time I'll have my own self-supporting industrial base and major exports in military hardware and electronics, and will cancel my Bandito Program, hiding all traces of its existence.
First, I will buy Sakhalin Island from the Russians for $3.75. Simple enough, no? Now I have a deserted island the size of New Hampshire
...[snip]...
and begin conscripting the locals to do my bidding. Total subjugation of the island is projected within a two-week timeframe.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hmm, how about those deserted islands that take 2 weeks to conquer?
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I'll develop an aircraft that is equally at home in atmosphere or in space, and can be deployed anywhere in the world to rain doom down on anyone I choose with a hyper-accurate railgun and a single 40mm titanium slug that can survive reentry.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
except that building one of those will take probably more than 10 times your budget. Railguns are expensive, and if you build a plane-mounted one that shoots a 40mm slug at any reasonable velocity (and is made of something that can survive re-entry), it'd be a one-shot device. You'd fly the plane, or most likely several planes (big bombers with huge payload capacities, to boot), and then once you fired the gun you would wreck all of your planes and lose the railgun in the process.
Ok, new plan. This is the cost-effective substitute to the solutions to the prblem of world takeover we've been proposing. Simply begin a grassroots campaign in all countries with alarge wiorking class to overthrow the goverment and impliment communism. After being kicked out of several countries, fake your own death, and when the proletariot finally revolts and their own government begins to crumble without coherent leadership, emerge from the woodwork and take over. At this point you don't even have to rule with an iron fist, everyone's just asking for you to lead them. It's pretty cool.