Natural-selection The Movie!111oneoneone
CplDavis
I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
<div class="IPBDescription">Major Motion Picture! (really long post)</div> Well everyone Ive taken it upon myself to be the first one to produce, direct, and act in NS the major motion picture. But first things first, we cant name it natural selection, that name has already been taken. Instead Ill name it.... hmmm Unatural-Selection. There that sounds about right.
Remember folks a few rules first. Some things in NS are just too far fetched even for fiction. So we will have to make a few small changes but <i>trust me</i> everything will still follow along the lines of the true game. Really. But more on to that later.
The cast. Very important we need obviosuly some rough and tough *cough coughspaceHACK cough* marines.
We need at least one major actor if we want people to see the movie. I vote for Vin Diesel. Now for the rest of the cast.
Marines:
Vin Diesel: General **** kicker marine role, main protagonist
Quantum Moose: No military team is complete without the lovable confident new guy. Moose made a witty comment as his first post in the off topic of all places forum so he is the winner.
CplDavis: Why? B/c its my movie, and I get to the the quiet but expirienced alien hunter that gets specially added to the team by the government. Im also the token azn guy... (thanks Zerobyte!)
CWAG: Every team also needs that "bad" member of the team. CWAG plays that marine who has authority issues, he was put on administrative leave for a while but now his services are required yet again so the powers that be brought him back.
MedHead: The morals guy, hes not sure why he joined and sometimes he wonders just what the hell kinda of outfit hes in with but hes a good guy to have around and a team favorite.
Jane: Every team needs that strong expirienced smart female role to take charge and get the traditional "guys" all pissy about it.
Renegade: The expirienced veteran of the team.
Nemisis 0: Upper brass, the leadership giving the orders from afar.
ColdNite: The educated resourceful one
Venmoch, DOOManiac, Zig, CForrister, and Badkarma :: Rounds out the squad
oh yea: MonsE gets a cameo role during some point. He will stick his head in and make some odd comment.
Now since there is no way in hell that Vin Diesel will ever work this film we will have to pay him... Lots. As in 95% of our films operating budget. But dont worry! I can assure you that the remaining 5% will all go to the film, special effects, filming, and other actors. Now back to the plot. Remember kids, we are going to stick as close to the game as possible or else its not fun. Here is the general script.
The year is 2007 (How exciting! It could happen any day!)
The location is at a secret NASA animal research station called Hera! Afaganistan has an evironment close to the NS_Hera map but its too dangerous to film there what with all the terrorists so we will instead be filming in the next closest area. The deep rain forests of the Republic of Congo in Africa. ooooh scary!
Anyways the animal testing (Project Flaytona) was going fine until some evil super nasty virus (perhaps its alien but we wont say) appeared and mutated all of the elephants, dogs, pigs, bats, and apes into horrible deadly monsters. That kill people. But the outside world doesnt know that. They just know that the base hasnt reported back in a while.
The US government has called in a special team of specialists from the Transportation Securtity Adminstration to go in an check it out. Since no one knows what happened (Maybe its just a bad phone line) but either way the special repair team is all military anyways with big guns. They also add in CplDavis the alien hunter just for kicks, Hey you never know!
The team gets briefed on their assignment, (told about how the government was working on some secret project called the BUS but wont say any more) and load up in their stylish grey and white urban cammo uniforms. the camera will zoom way in and show the <!--emo&::tsa::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tsa.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tsa.gif' /><!--endemo--> symbol on the arm patches for accuracy. The team will be fully armed to fix a possible broken phone line with high tech futuristic looking moddifed German made heckler and Koch G36 assault rifles and italian 9mm Berreta pistols. b/c they look cool. Vin Diesel gets a Desert Eagle to satisfy all the cs kiddies in the target audience.
The team gets on location and sets up base camp with lots of generators, halogen flood lights, and many crates stacked about filled with supplies to determine and fix what ever happened with guns guns and more guns, and laptop computers.
maybe even some high tech automated turrets. They have to bring stuff in somehow
... We cant honostly expect the audience to believe people can just make stuff apear out of thin air ya know...
Anyways team goes in base, Lead by Vin diesel who sits in his mobile command jeep with the sliding top to get in and out. (Ty again Zerobyte) they look around in mystery, crap happens, Venmoch dies first in keeping with tradition, then followed by, CplDavis, DOOManiac, CForrester, Renegade, Bad Kharma, Zig and ColdNite all die horrible deaths in the first battle leaving only a few survivors. Who then get split up and separated for dramatic effect, Medhead, and CWAG then also die horrible deaths. CWAG gets eaten by a mutated elephant and a pack of wild mutated dogs drop down from the ceiling and pounce on Medhead. Thus leaving Jane, Vin Diesel, and Quantum Moose who must then work together to survive for the rest of the movie. They find out from Vin Diesel (who is still sitting in his command jeep) back at base camp that another rescue team wont come for 17 days. Jane and Moose show signs of a budding close friendship. as commander Diesel leads them bak to the base. In the final battle, the 3 survivors are surrounded back at their base camp. They hastily set up the automated turrets, and some booby traps made from random salavaged weapons and tools. They also break out a new prototype combat robot who they call H.E.A.V.Y
The mutated animals attack. The three make a fighting action packed retreat and Vin Diesel pops out of his mobile command jeep and fights a mutated gorrilla with claws for arms one on one. Quantum Moose by now everyones most lovable character gets trapped. He tells Jane and Vin to leave him Jane says NOOOOOOOoooo! Moose shoots a door panel and shuts the door. Then the camera zooms in on moose who says a cocky one liner as he shoots a fuel barrel and blows himself up and takes out half the mutations with him thus casuing a cave in and sealing the base entrance off.
Jane pounds on the rubble and Vin pulls her away telling her "lets go hes dead!"
bla bla bla The 2 make it out and camp put in the jungle all dejected until the rescue chopper comes.
End of movie.
if you stay and watch the credits you get to see the extra footage where the camera goes back to the smoking rubble of the NASA base. The camera zooms in on the rubble. Suddenly a Claw shoots up through the earth and you hear a non human chuckle....
So guys what do you think! i pretty much kept well to the orginial themes right!
I can see it now. More academy awards than Return of the King!
===================
Yes this is was joke, about all the crappy game based movies of past, present and the near future. And the people portrayed are just in it for fun. No insults, or disrespect is intended. Its all in good fun.
the only problem is that the events are about as rediculus as reality.
<!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Remember folks a few rules first. Some things in NS are just too far fetched even for fiction. So we will have to make a few small changes but <i>trust me</i> everything will still follow along the lines of the true game. Really. But more on to that later.
The cast. Very important we need obviosuly some rough and tough *cough coughspaceHACK cough* marines.
We need at least one major actor if we want people to see the movie. I vote for Vin Diesel. Now for the rest of the cast.
Marines:
Vin Diesel: General **** kicker marine role, main protagonist
Quantum Moose: No military team is complete without the lovable confident new guy. Moose made a witty comment as his first post in the off topic of all places forum so he is the winner.
CplDavis: Why? B/c its my movie, and I get to the the quiet but expirienced alien hunter that gets specially added to the team by the government. Im also the token azn guy... (thanks Zerobyte!)
CWAG: Every team also needs that "bad" member of the team. CWAG plays that marine who has authority issues, he was put on administrative leave for a while but now his services are required yet again so the powers that be brought him back.
MedHead: The morals guy, hes not sure why he joined and sometimes he wonders just what the hell kinda of outfit hes in with but hes a good guy to have around and a team favorite.
Jane: Every team needs that strong expirienced smart female role to take charge and get the traditional "guys" all pissy about it.
Renegade: The expirienced veteran of the team.
Nemisis 0: Upper brass, the leadership giving the orders from afar.
ColdNite: The educated resourceful one
Venmoch, DOOManiac, Zig, CForrister, and Badkarma :: Rounds out the squad
oh yea: MonsE gets a cameo role during some point. He will stick his head in and make some odd comment.
Now since there is no way in hell that Vin Diesel will ever work this film we will have to pay him... Lots. As in 95% of our films operating budget. But dont worry! I can assure you that the remaining 5% will all go to the film, special effects, filming, and other actors. Now back to the plot. Remember kids, we are going to stick as close to the game as possible or else its not fun. Here is the general script.
The year is 2007 (How exciting! It could happen any day!)
The location is at a secret NASA animal research station called Hera! Afaganistan has an evironment close to the NS_Hera map but its too dangerous to film there what with all the terrorists so we will instead be filming in the next closest area. The deep rain forests of the Republic of Congo in Africa. ooooh scary!
Anyways the animal testing (Project Flaytona) was going fine until some evil super nasty virus (perhaps its alien but we wont say) appeared and mutated all of the elephants, dogs, pigs, bats, and apes into horrible deadly monsters. That kill people. But the outside world doesnt know that. They just know that the base hasnt reported back in a while.
The US government has called in a special team of specialists from the Transportation Securtity Adminstration to go in an check it out. Since no one knows what happened (Maybe its just a bad phone line) but either way the special repair team is all military anyways with big guns. They also add in CplDavis the alien hunter just for kicks, Hey you never know!
The team gets briefed on their assignment, (told about how the government was working on some secret project called the BUS but wont say any more) and load up in their stylish grey and white urban cammo uniforms. the camera will zoom way in and show the <!--emo&::tsa::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tsa.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tsa.gif' /><!--endemo--> symbol on the arm patches for accuracy. The team will be fully armed to fix a possible broken phone line with high tech futuristic looking moddifed German made heckler and Koch G36 assault rifles and italian 9mm Berreta pistols. b/c they look cool. Vin Diesel gets a Desert Eagle to satisfy all the cs kiddies in the target audience.
The team gets on location and sets up base camp with lots of generators, halogen flood lights, and many crates stacked about filled with supplies to determine and fix what ever happened with guns guns and more guns, and laptop computers.
maybe even some high tech automated turrets. They have to bring stuff in somehow
... We cant honostly expect the audience to believe people can just make stuff apear out of thin air ya know...
Anyways team goes in base, Lead by Vin diesel who sits in his mobile command jeep with the sliding top to get in and out. (Ty again Zerobyte) they look around in mystery, crap happens, Venmoch dies first in keeping with tradition, then followed by, CplDavis, DOOManiac, CForrester, Renegade, Bad Kharma, Zig and ColdNite all die horrible deaths in the first battle leaving only a few survivors. Who then get split up and separated for dramatic effect, Medhead, and CWAG then also die horrible deaths. CWAG gets eaten by a mutated elephant and a pack of wild mutated dogs drop down from the ceiling and pounce on Medhead. Thus leaving Jane, Vin Diesel, and Quantum Moose who must then work together to survive for the rest of the movie. They find out from Vin Diesel (who is still sitting in his command jeep) back at base camp that another rescue team wont come for 17 days. Jane and Moose show signs of a budding close friendship. as commander Diesel leads them bak to the base. In the final battle, the 3 survivors are surrounded back at their base camp. They hastily set up the automated turrets, and some booby traps made from random salavaged weapons and tools. They also break out a new prototype combat robot who they call H.E.A.V.Y
The mutated animals attack. The three make a fighting action packed retreat and Vin Diesel pops out of his mobile command jeep and fights a mutated gorrilla with claws for arms one on one. Quantum Moose by now everyones most lovable character gets trapped. He tells Jane and Vin to leave him Jane says NOOOOOOOoooo! Moose shoots a door panel and shuts the door. Then the camera zooms in on moose who says a cocky one liner as he shoots a fuel barrel and blows himself up and takes out half the mutations with him thus casuing a cave in and sealing the base entrance off.
Jane pounds on the rubble and Vin pulls her away telling her "lets go hes dead!"
bla bla bla The 2 make it out and camp put in the jungle all dejected until the rescue chopper comes.
End of movie.
if you stay and watch the credits you get to see the extra footage where the camera goes back to the smoking rubble of the NASA base. The camera zooms in on the rubble. Suddenly a Claw shoots up through the earth and you hear a non human chuckle....
So guys what do you think! i pretty much kept well to the orginial themes right!
I can see it now. More academy awards than Return of the King!
===================
Yes this is was joke, about all the crappy game based movies of past, present and the near future. And the people portrayed are just in it for fun. No insults, or disrespect is intended. Its all in good fun.
the only problem is that the events are about as rediculus as reality.
<!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Comments
Not before Counter-Strike the movie though. (2006)
Oh,and to save time; YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS! (that response is now eliminated)
No Venmoch? The dude that always seems to end up dead first?
I'm shocked!
Oh, I think you're also forgetting the part where Vin Diesel hops into a movie prop that looks so much like the Command Console, you know, to give the NS fanboys a modicum of hope? Except he then proceeds to push buttons and wheels will come out and he starts driving his uber granny cart to save Jane and Quantum Moose from an attack by a mutated CWAG, who now bears an uncanny resemblance to a hive but not.
Oh, I think you're also forgetting the part where Vin Diesel hops into a movie prop that looks so much like the Command Console, you know, to give the NS fanboys a modicum of hope? Except he then proceeds to push buttons and wheels will come out and he starts driving his uber granny cart to save Jane and Quantum Moose from an attack by a mutated CWAG, who now bears an uncanny resemblance to a hive but not. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Im the token azn guy <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
There i added in zig, venmoch dying first and the super mobile cc. lol
I nominate my big toe to direct.
I nominate my big toe to direct. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I vote for Caboose's big toe.
<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>who dies a horrible death just while taking a pee before all the action starts...</span>
and dont forget some noobs like o neal from stargate... dont know his name ... was macgyver... this guy was in german stargate series the noobish of the team... didnt knew anything but was colonell
lol <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I see AllyourHive in here.
I was conisdering hiring him to be the voice of the aliens if thats ok with him <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I was conisdering hiring him to be the voice of the aliens if thats ok with him <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Sweet! My first acting gig since The Girl Next Door!
<span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'>who dies a horrible death just while taking a pee before all the action starts...</span> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
That is some STD you have there.
No no, he's in all the comedies, for the action sci-fi stuff it is required that you have Malcolm McDowell
Oooh so it's <i>that</i> kind of movie, eh?
-----------------------
If it is I may have made this for nothing.
No no, he's in all the comedies, for the action sci-fi stuff it is required that you have Malcolm McDowell <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Then it is decided. The NS movie will be an action-comedy with aliens and zombies (because they're so popular these days).
The Onos Is nothing more then a mutated cow.
Honestly you expect Doom The Movie to be bad?
No no, he's in all the comedies, for the action sci-fi stuff it is required that you have Malcolm McDowell <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Then it is decided. The NS movie will be an action-comedy with aliens and zombies (because they're so popular these days). <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hey I liked that movie the first time I saw it. When it was called Bad Taste.
The Onos Is nothing more then a mutated cow.
Honestly you expect Doom The Movie to be bad? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I think if Uwe Boll is directing we can replace the Marines with a squad of Cheerleaders struggling to cheer their team to victory in the superbowl while also concentrating on a subplot of one of the lead cheerleaders fancies a guy off the opposing team, thereby bringing conflict of interest into the fray.
I guess we could also have like, robot cheerleaders or something. And the Onos can make a cameo as the Coach that shouts a lot, because shouting coaches = humourous.
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<!--c1--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->INT: The Command Room
Several Marines stand stock still, except to constantly flick between weapons. This creates an annoying "beep-click-beep-click-beep-foosh" noise. Suddenly, whatever force was holding them in place lets them free; several marines run off, while two stay behind. Of these two, one runs in circles, while the other stares at the command chair. The latter marine waits for a while, perhaps expecting the chair to do something entertaining.
Marine 1: Who goes com?
There is no response. Ten seconds later, a marine starts singing down the intercom .
Twenty seconds later, skulks rush marine spawn and butcher all remaining marines.
THE END<!--c2--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
-----
<!--c1--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->INT: The Command Room
Several Marines stand stock still, except to constantly flick between weapons. This creates an annoying "beep-click-beep-click-beep-foosh" noise. Suddenly, whatever force was holding them in place lets them free; several marines run off, while two stay behind. Of these two, one runs in circles, while the other stares at the command chair. The latter marine waits for a while, perhaps expecting the chair to do something entertaining.
Marine 1: Who goes com?
There is no response. Ten seconds later, a marine starts singing down the intercom .
Twenty seconds later, skulks rush marine spawn and butcher all remaining marines.
THE END<!--c2--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--ec2--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life..."